I feel oddly compelled to write something about this gig, even though I didn’t actually attend it. I was in Newcastle this weekend, visiting an old friend from my university days (which explains my lack of posting for the last couple of days). On our way to meet everyone, Mrs. Toad and I passed a gaggle of curiously identical teenagers outside the Carling Academy. They were there, it turns out, for a Hadouken gig.

Now, I barely know anything at all about Hadouken, apart from having heard the name, and having checked them out since, I shall not be bothering with them any more. They are squarely part of the Nu Rave nonsense which is very much Not For Toad so I couldn’t care less about their music, but I was dumbstruck by their fans.

All of them were barely, barely of university age, and all of them looked absolutely identical to one another. Not similar, absolutely identical. There were variations of black or white skinny jeans with black and white tops and various block primary colours and neons used as accents, but basically they were so coordinated with one another they looked like a they were making a themed wardrobe music video for Girls Aloud or some such.

Now, as an indie kid I am well away that I dress exactly like every other indie kid – trainers, scruffy jeans and a t-shirt with a nice bit of often-arch graphic design on the front – but indie kids do not kid themselves they are sartorially adventurous. This Nu Rave stuff and the brightly coloured fashions is supposed to be young and cutting edge. I had always assumed that young and cutting edge movements kind of coalesced – a bunch of free spirited people did their own thing and, with 20-20 hingsight, we eventually become able to draw out the common strands of these scattered statements and see it as some grass-roots movement. But only once the phenomenon has been observed long enough to process and understand properly.

This was totally the opposite. It was like a brand new identity had been designed, assembled and accessorised and anyone willing to give themselves over to their new lords and masters was invited to check their delusions of individuality at the door and surrender to the movement.

Now, I am not stupid, I know that we are pretty much all followers – it’s just what we follow that differentiates us – but I have never seen anything I had assumed was a bit idiosyncratic and independent so baldly shown to be about people’s herding instincts and insecurity.

I know this is a bit of an odd post, but it was such a strange sight I felt I had to mention it somehow, although I look back and I don’t think I’ve even come close to capturing the weirdness of the situation. It truly was bizarre, Toadlings, truly bizarre.

Hadouken – Dance Lesson