Alcohol + Music = Multiple Orga.. erm, whoops!
Honestly, the reason I am the sort of obsessive arse who writes a music blog is this. It’s Saturday night. I am in the house. I am plastered – really giddily plastered. And what, apart from more cleaning fluid with which to refill my glass, do I reach for?
The fucking volume control, that’s what. I am rifling through my CDs, turning everything up indecently loud, dancing around the living room like a retard and playing music as loud as my 70s Technics amp can possibly manage. It’s already blown one of our shiny new and utterly useless modern speakers. And I intend to blow the other one.
Music makes me REALLY FUCKING HAPPY! When I am miserable I head for the stereo, when I am happy I head for the stereo, when nothing is happening I head for the stereo. My life is expressed entirely through fucking music. All those people I want to beat to a bloody pulp for their desperate dishonesty – it all comes out on the stereo. When I am buzzing, when I am miserable, when I am agitated, the volume just rises and rises until the neighbours are complaining and the clouds are falling.
Sorry everyone, but drunkenness and the Toad have reached that perfect storm where the drink goes down and the alcohol gets guzzled and life swirls and sways to the tune of angry indie rockers who throw out their best effort into the churning sea of indifference that the modern media represents.
We support them, I hope. There’s a community of us out here, a community I hope I have reached, who care about and love the direct emotive power that music has. A group of people that gets irresponsibly drunk when we should be paying our broadband bills. A group that sways like the Leaning Tower of Pisa with a particularly bad hangover as the songs just get louder and louder and the neighbours grow more and more impatient and eventually we stumble to bed, plastered and happy as the songs we have played echo around the petrol stations and supermarkets that mark out our territory.
It’s a new year but nothing has changed. I am still drunk as a nun and scrabbling through my CD collection for newer and louder things with which to terrify everyone I know. How the fuck have you been? and how’s your mother? Still got a nice arse? Yes, thought so…
White Rabbits – The Plot
Nick Cave – Do You Love Me?
Broken Records – One Good Reason Are these lads the best unsigned band in Britain at the moment? I think they might be.
Yes! And breaking my iPod has only increased my intensity of wanton home drunkenness/late-night listening… best thing I ever did, that.
Allow me to congratulate you on your drunkenness. I must say you remain strikingly coherent despite being plastered. While “highly-functioning alcoholic” is for many a diagnosis, for you it can only be a compliment. And my mother’s arse is very nice indeed, thank you. Yours?
There’s a community of us out here, a community I hope I have reached…
You’ve reached me
You are my favorite music blogger, drunk or not and I look forward to lots more of same in 2008!
And now I have a hangover. Sometimes, far from being mysterious, God works in very predictable ways indeed.
Can I echo the previous comment? Excellent writing by a drunk gent! Did you spellcheck it in the morning? I totally agree with everything you say. I bought a new hi-fi system last week and was enjoying its 100 watts of oomph power when my bastard neighbour rattled the letterbox and scampered off like a sissy. Bastards like him don’t appreciate the finer things in life…
Ha! Same here. Although these days when I get carried away by music and vodka and lofty feelings I tend to grab my ukulele and Rolling Stones songbook. And I always sound fantastic, would you believe it.
Rolling Stones on the Uke? That rather reminds me of the Portuguese David Bowie songs on the soundtrack for The Life Aquatic With Steve Zissou.
…the Portuguese David Bowie songs on the soundtrack for The Life Aquatic With Steve Zissou.
That’s a great Sunday morning hangover CD if ever I heard one!
i have to agree with lotsofrandomwords that aside from the thrilling content of your drunken posts, the fact that they aren’t littered with typos and whatnot is most admirable. don’t ever stop.
It’s because my sphincter is closed tighter than a gnat’s vagina where spelling and syntax are concerned. Nothing pains me more than spotting a misplaced apostrophe in a stray ‘its’ some days after publication. Sad, and not very rock ‘n’ roll, but true nevertheless.
a closet copy editor, perhaps?
I THINK NOT! BARRED.
Actually, come to think of it, that might be inspired. Imagine how much better House Beautiful, Woman’s Weekly or the Financial Times would be if they had a copy editor like me!
“Erm, Simpkins, this article on dried flowers, patchwork and the colours of Autumn is just splendid, however I’ve made a few minor corrections. I’ve added 27 fucks, five cunts, 18 arses, 5 whores, 2 minges, a bestiality and two entirely unnecessary anecdotes about getting caught sniffing coke off the labia of a teenage intern. I’ve also corrected some unnecessary punctuation – too many commas does not a readable sentence make, my boy. Excellent work otherwise. That will be all.”
me too, Mr. T., but more often than not my inherent slopiness / drunkardness / rushedness / halfheartedness means I miss most, or simply badly typo, those that occur – & that’s coming from a published author, too.
So, I sympathise Mr. T. for I too am extremely intolerant of bad grammar / obvious spelling mistakes (their/there/they’re + your/you’re in particular REALLY get on my tits).
Be my guessed & check everything I now write in order to point from your moral highchair & say “nyaah, you done a mistake you did.”
DC
Published author, international man of mystery and indie music aficionado extraordinaire. Shouldn’t the role of Drunk Country be played by David Hasselhoff or Roger Moore?
Well, one half of at least.
The other half alternating between Nicholas Lyndhurst a la Goodnight Sweetheart + Pob.
One for the Americans amongst us to wrap their heads around, if nothing else
)
DC
Broken Records are definitely tipped for good things in 2008. They have some more music at http://www.indiestore.com/brokenrecords.
Don’t Hassle the Hoff. As for Pob,
en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pob’s_Programme/
Sorry ’bout the link to nowhere. How’s this then:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pob%27s_Programme
hello articulate drunk!
i think blogging makes me even more in love with music though i’m not sure that’s possible. i absolutely eat sleep breathe music (but drink alcohol haaah). it’s crazy how there’s a pice of perfectly fitting music for every mood and even the half moods and inbetween moods.
in short i am glad you love music and i love music too.
You’re right Jamila, I think the blogging just encourages it. Which my wife may not thank any of my readers for, but I am finding it quite rewarding.