Is This the Best You Lot Can Do?
[I really should delete this post, but I think I deserve it to be left up as a salutory lesson about the perils of drunken posting. What a shambles. Feel free to read the utter nonsense below and then point and laugh. I hang my drunken head in shame. WordPress really should come with a fucking breathalyzer.]
Fuck me people, pull yourselves together. This is not a Radiohead, nor a Snow Patrol, nor a Travis fanboy site (Oxford comma there – everyone get that? Cunts). This is a place for people to bring new things and to get really fucking excited about folk having a go, showing some spunk and trying to make the most of a merciless, shitty industry.
As such, when I post about four groups in a single day who are good, young, up-and-coming and showing some enterprise and spirit I am fucking dismayed to come home and find not a single comment and no love at all for these lads. Why are we here, folks, eh? Why, really? Any of us can log onto the nearest bloody Pitchfork, Q Magazine, whatever sort of site and download trendy stuff, even ‘alternative’ trendy stuff. That is not what Song, by Toad is for.
In an industry full of commercial cunts, I make no money at all. I am here to give the small bands, who no-one has heard of and no-one cares about, some praise and some recognition and I should fucking well hope that is what you are here for too. Money and support are parcelled out awfully stingily in this industry and places like this, where small numbers of enthusiasts gather, are oases of love and generosity.
So the next time I write about four small, unheralded but nonetheless superb bands like I have done today I fucking well expect some response. It’s easy to remark on the merits or otherwise of the Arcade Fire. But you can read about them on Drowned in Sound, surely? Here is where you come for something a little different, and I love the fact that I get a ton of hits, but when bands come here and see that I have written about them and no-one gives a shit, then I am fucking well ashamed. If I’m writing about The Mountain Goats then by all means stay silent, but when I’m writing about young bands just on the verge of gaining a little bit of recognition it’s really important that you show them a bit of love.
I know there’s enough of you out there, and I don’t mean to resort to blackmail, but really, when you are needed around here is when the bands are yet to hit the NME.
I write about big bands, like Feist and British Sea Power because they interest me and I guess they probably interest you as well. But I write about small bands, like every band I have written about today, because these little enterprises are what I love: people with a bit of belief and a bit of conviction pitting their passion against the markets (ie: fighting a terminally losing battle) in the hope that some folk will latch onto their stuff. This is supposed to be one of those places – or, at least, it will always be one for me – where the little people get the praise that the quality of their output merits.
So even if you don’t like what I’ve posted it is way, way more important to me that you have your say when I write about bedroom bands than when I write about Vampire Weekend. Honestly, the point of blogs is side-stepping the massive, tedious, PR-fuelled music industry. We are here for the little people so, if you do nothing else ever again, go and find an unsigned band on this site and let everyone know what you think of them. Even criticism is good, as long as it is largely constructive. Just let these lads know you appreciate their efforts. The New Pornographers don’t need it, but wee Edinburgh folk-tronica groups do.
I can’t for the life of me think of a group that will want to be associated with this sort of infantile temper tantrum, so I apologise in advance to Honeytrap.
These fellas are currently assembling one of my most anticipated albums of 2008. Label-mates of the superlative Coventry group The Sequins, Honeytrap are also signed to Tough Love Records and have produced some of the best songs I have ever heard. Death Before the Silver Screen has never been bettered by anyone. Anywhere. Ever. So there you go. Sorry to Honeytrap for roping them into this little rant, but really folks, turn off Black Mountain’s prog-revival shit-fest and clamp your ears around one of the most promising groups the British Isles has produced for fucking years. They have an album approaching this year and if I’m the only one here who splashes out for it then I’ll have a right fucking tantrum. Yes, even crapper than this one.
And if you wish I was posting about someone more famous then fuck you. Fuck you hard and unlubricated with a fucking sea urchin. (And, erm, cheers to Simon for making himself known. Ta mate, much appreciated, honestly).
Honeytrap – Death Before the Silver Screen
Honeytrap – I Don’t Know How it Begins
Honeytrap – Spotlight
Go and buy Honeytrap and Sequins stuff from Tough Love Records. And forsake your subscription to Q forever.
OK. First of all, thanks for the Honeytrap. Good stuff that I never heard before. And nice rant! I’m going to venture out on a limb here an offer a possible innocent explanation for why you don’t get a lot of comments on these new bands. Could be that people are a bit sheepish about sticking their neck out and commenting on a band they never heard before. Sometimes you need to digest something a bit before telling the whole world what you think. Heck, I usually need to let something perculate on the i-pod for awhile before I even know if I like it. Don’t want to comment and then feel stupid about it later. So that could be one reason.
Hey, can you re-post those New Pornographers tracks from a bit back?
Oh the ignominy. What a twat. Let’s all point and laugh at the Toad for he is a drunken imbecile and deserves your sniggers. There is actually a very apposite quote from the Wind in the Willows somewhere. I should dig it out to serve with my humble pie.
I actually really enjoyed that!
You posted a few tracks by The Wave Pictures a few weeks ago. Since then i’ve bought their last album, pre-ordered their new single and album, went to see them last night in Brixton and even drunkenly bought the fucking t-shirt. So if it wasnae for you I would be about 50 pound richer and still be looking for my new favourite band. Cheers!
van, you absolute legend. And very restrained of you for not calling me a pillock as well!
Ha ! A most amusing rant and ramble that brightened a dull day in Norfolk..
I vow to comment every day until saturday
Great post. And interesting comment from Paul. I do sometimes feel chary (sp?) about commenting in case I get a withering witty sweary sideswipe from the Toad. Not that I have. It’s just THE FEAR.
Actually, it’s not just a search for comments per se. It’s that I tend to get loads of comments on the bigger bands, which I suppose is perfectly reasonable, but then when I write about really small ones it can go eerily quiet. At these times I genuinely do wonder to myself if this is because I am just writing for my own benefit, at this point, and no-one else is interested. Do people actually enjoy the MySpace trawls and the tiny local bands as much as the stuff everyone knows about?
And CTel, you’re absolutely right. I sometimes think it must be a less than welcoming site to comment on from time to time. I can be a bit, erm, over the top at times, but I don’t mind being told to fuck off, not by any means.
I am inwardly chorteling.
Does your keyboard smell of gin?
Mr Toad I love your rage.
Please tell me you won’t ever change.
actually just bought the wave pictures 7″ last week…and have been loving it!”
Stop sniggering Tim, it’s mean.
paradoxjon that’s brilliant. They’re confirmed for the End of the Road Festival this year too, along with The Mountain Goats, so I shall definitely be there.
i love myspace trawls. it’s much more interesting than reading nme, Q etc. and i personally think it’s magic that there are people like you supporting the unsigned bands that you think deserve to be heard. and i also think that drunken ranting is highly appropriate. i have something i’d like to discuss with you so will e-mail you about it. it’s a rant!
Song, by Toad’s Equal Opportunities Internet Rant-O-Rama! It’s a carnival of impotent rage here at Song, by Toad today!
I had sex with Donna Matthews from Elastica (she went to my school, I fancied her sister more but ended up ending her, f’naarr). This was before she was actually in Elastica, but I think it’s a valid claim to infamy.
Also, a few years after the tupping, & again before she was in Elastica, I was invited to her place in Newport for a party & she was there, all long hair hippy headed strumming Klimt loving feyness. I got so drunk I needed to puke very badly indeed but couldn’t find a quick enough route to anywhere safe to do so. All the doors were blocked by partying bodies, the window behind my head was dead-locked, & there was no bin or anything I could grab for a makeshift hoo-hurp.
However, what I did next was a bit special. Special as in Olympics.
I found an empty can of beer at my feet and, pressing it to my pursed lips, I threw up straight into it. Filling it. My friends were very impressed (thinking, I think, this was a party trick). I lapped up the adoration, knowing I’d not embarrassed myself in front of Donna (hoping I’d get another portion that night), for about 2 minutes before the remainder of my stomach decided it wanted a holiday too. Unfortunately, there were no more empty cans in the immediate vicinity. There was nothing for it. I took the hem of my T-shirt (a Cardiacs T-Shirt, btw), pulled it toward my chest, creating a cradle, & promptly threw up into it.
I then had to push my way through a very deep crowd of revellers, past Donna & a bunch of old school friends, with this wet, seeping cloth bulb clasped to my chest. I made my way to the back garden (the downstairs toilet was full of people & the kitchen sink was full of ice & beer), where i dumped my swirling cache of belly custard into a flower bed & threw my t-shirt into the nearest bin.
By the time I returned to my friends they were all getting rteady to leave – word had spread about what a filthy dirty minging fucking bastard I was & they really wanted to get out before they were labelled as such by association.
This has nothing whatsoever to do with Toad’s rant, except it was designed to distract you, Dear Reader, from it. It may also resemble an episode of Skins, but I assure you it is all true.
Just for the record, I haven’t commented on the posts yet because I actually had a night off from the interweb yesterday & post 5pm went nowhere near a computer. Opting instead to watch Resident Evil: Extinction, just to see how bad it actually is. Fucking unbelievably so, is the answer.
Phew, successful diversion created!
I don’t actually read this stuff, I just come on here to make smutty comments.
BUMS!
(not really – I’m also in the camp of, if I hear a new band and – unless they really grab me – I’d rather digest in my own time than throw in my two cents on first listen. And it makes me glow inside knowing that someone is giving as much credence and time to the unsigned and unsung as they are to the bigger acts. You may feel ashamed at your drunked rant, Mr. Toad, but you should be holding your head high as to me you are a true prince).
(sorry if that got a bit gay at the end there. TITS.)
shitty death. by the time I had finished writing the above (after being distracted left right & fecking centre) & then posting it about 10 comments had appeared. bugger.
well, we at Hillfields central are bloody delighted with a comment!!!! cheers!!
Ah mate, but if you get yourself on DC’s radio show then you know you’ve made it!
A pint of what you’re having.
i’ll buy you each more than a pint if we ever get on the radio… !
Well if DC lets me then you could be on Error FM in the potential new ‘Mr. Toad Introduces…’ section that we’re discussing at the moment. It’s hardly like being on the Beeb though, so nothing to get too excited about just yet. And I may get a slot on Freshair shortly, so that might also help expand the audience a little.
well theres the old saying what will be will be – its all quite early days for us, so we’re just enjoying going with the flow and we just think its cool if some people actually like us!! anyway, beers are on me if we meet! have a great weekend, rob
Good Christ. One can’t log off this site for 24 hours together without being abused! Time! Time is what I require! I’ve got children who need me for Chrissakes. Also, I’ve now bought EPs from both the Savings & Loan and Meursault based solely on the fact that I’d heard them here. Forgive?
Christ C&B, you are making the terrible mistake of taking things I write when plastered at all seriously. Anyone determined enough to track down Martin and buy The Savings & Loan is clearly doing his part.
What do you think of the Meursault EP? I wasn’t that keen actually – I prefer the new stuff on their MySpace page.
I can assure you that I take nothing you say seriously, drunk or sober. ;^> I’m actually still awaiting the Meursault EP in the post. I ordered it from their myspace and the Paypal thingy wasn’t set up to charge international postage, so after a few days I had to send a couple of additional “quid” I believe they’re called (oh, you lovable Brits and your funny names for munny). Is it “difficult”? I’m half hoping it is, because I’ve been in a strange mood lately, listening to virtually nothing but Scott Walker and the most ear-shattering Krautrock and Japrock from circa 1970. Not sure why, but I’m feeling receptive to all things dissonant.
The Savings & Loan CD is in my possession, however, and ’tis a beautiful thing. I sent Martin a Mix CD of Portland bands in partial payment, and he seems to have liked some of that. Nice fella.
That sounds like a more than fair exchange. Mrs. Toad and I are going to Pickathon in August. You fancy the idea? The lineup looks pretty good already – Jolie Holland and the Cave Singers.
Toad, the “Mr. Toad Recommends…” section content is entirely up to you – so, you know, if you want them on they is on (I’ll e-mail you this weekend about the whys & whatnots of what we need in total).
Error FM may not be the BBC but, you sarky little amphibian, TWR has had the pleasure of playing far more new bands first this past 12 months (who then go on to become omnipresent on playlists) than BBC Radio 1, 2, + 6 combined. Current weekly show live listeners (as of last week’s figures) = average of 5,000 listeners worldwide & downloads = average of 1000 per week, which includes approx. 300 brand new listeners/url hits per week.
Not bad for a shambles of a production held together by bourbon, Agentinian red wine, Marlboro Lights & a penchant for babble.
So, you know: Pfffttffttt-paaarrrrrrpppppp.
Oh God, are you kdding? I’d love that! I envision complications, however. The wife and kids are unlikely to be keen, and men of “my station” simply do not abandon their families in the summertime and spend many hundreds of dollars so they can “rock out” several thousand miles away. Not unless they’re willing to leave their testicles behind in a canning jar at any rate. Still….I’m intrigued.
Those are bloody brilliant numbers, DC. I have to confess I didn’t realise you were doing quite so well. Any marketing tips?
I try to avoid the ‘played first here competition’ if I can, more because I fear I’m the sort of person who would get too competitive about being first at the expense of thinking properly about the music before I played it. I find it hard to resist the urge, but I try.
C&B – go on – drag ‘em along. If Tim from The Daily Growl can bring his new-born to End of the Road then you can drag your mewling pups to Portland!
O, I only mention the ‘played first’ thing because BBC Radio seems to think it has this unparalleled image of innovation. Huw Stephens my torn foreskin. He can fuck right off, bollock naked, up a banister lined with broken glass; he seems to think he has invented finding ‘new’ music on the interwebmyspace/Hype Machine. The shivering twat.
Hope’s rather enlightening on the whole subject, actually, having been down there in that London doing a stint with Merchant & all — this is probably known by everyone, but there’s only a genuine handful of BBC DJs who seek out, listen to & choose their own music (& have an actual non-corp pasted taste); most of the donkey work is done by their production team/researchers, feeding off the likes of you Mr. T., feeling about the interbuzz & grabbing the rising starlets & claiming them as their own for whatever particular show. Kate Nash (obvious choice, but good example) was one. Hope & I were chatting to her months before the Lily Allen endorsement & the industry yanked her pubes – it was startling to see how many people began claiming her as ‘their’ find (although, interestingly, it still took some time for her to reach the rotation of R1 playlists). We never bothered, simply because as soon as her bedroom demos got all productionified the entire charm of her skittishness went out the window (as well as her personability/people skills) & that Faux Larndarn Wobble (as opposed to the Black Woman’s) became the hook upon which many a halfway decent tune was hanged.
No, I (& we, back then) like being a niche/obscure/small time/faintly interesting enough to subscribe to.
Speaking of, some seemingly obscure Johnny Foreigner radio station/blog (http://www.radiomaps.it/?p=102) linked back to you today re: The Broken Records, as follows:
Partiamo con qualche segnalazione di cose nuove interessanti, insomma un classico “facce nuove”. Già avevamo raggruppato tempo fa qui e qui alcune cose da seguire per il 2008. In questo caso parliamo di una band di Edinburgo, i Broken Records. Sono in sette, hanno mandolino, violino, piano e insomma avete capito..sta già per scattare l’allarme orchestrale alla arcade fire..in realtà non è proprio così. Qua la musica si fa più scura, sicuramente più vicina al folk stralunato ma maledettamente concreto di autori come Cave, Waits, a volte sembra persino di sentire Beirut in salsa rock. Il blog scozzese Song, By Toad li descrive come uno strano mix di folk, americana, atmosfere spettrali a volte carnevalesche.
Now, isn’t that far more satisfying than having Edith fucking Bowman rasp her Razorlight swallowed breath all over you in some Glastonbury green room?
sorry. i had no internet connection for 36 hours.
but 30+ reactions….you should get pissed more often (if that is humanly possible)
It is humanly possibly. In terms of livers it may not be all that sustainable though
DC, getting the Broken Records word out is one of the things of which I am the most proud. I know getting Drowned in Sound onside was what actually made the difference, but it’s nice to know that the first ever whispers came out from Song, by Toad.
The more obscure my playlists on my podcasts get, however, the more readership plummets. So, like the reason I wrote this post in the first place, I sometimes wonder that if I just talk about the really obscure bands then no-one will really be interested. I mean, I write about the big boys because I am genuinely interested in them because I too have an inner pop-slut, but ultimately I think I’d rather just be a mouthpiece for small and independent music. I doubt I’ll ever stop talking about the famous boys entirely though.
The thing is, I guess, the more I get involved in the music industry the more I find myself talking to people whose opening gambit for every conversation is who they played or booked or loved first. And as much as I have those instincts myself, I think it’s something I have to actively turn off or I’ll end up ruining my blog for the sake of scoop-chasing. It can be tough though, especially when once in a blue moon you actually are first.
So there. Not sure what that proves or even says, but there you go.
hello, just wanted to say that despite the lack of comments we’re utterly chuffed to have been considered worth writing about, it means a lot to us that people are liking the track and are helping get our names out there, so yeah, keep up the good work, it’s a great little site you have here and long may it continue.
j.
Mate, you want to listen to Error FM in a couple of weeks because I believe DC is letting me play your stuff on one of his shows.
Wednesday 27th February, 10pm-Midnight (GMT), to be exact.
Actually, no you’re right Toad – in TWO weeks (5th March blah blah blah http://www.ErrorFM.com); sorry, confused The Humanity with The Hillfields. Too many fucking definite articles, see?
Back to your point, tho. It is interesting, this slight juxtoposition of ours. Hope disagreed with me about playing ‘name’/commercial music – thinking it a bit below us. My argument was if the tune is bloody good & it wasn’t commercial/BBC radio playlist ubiquitous, then we had every right to play it.
Hope also had an anti-mainstream tic whereby the moment someone had an advert on TV for their new album, had a track in some US teen/20-something drama or advert, or even looked like they were going to have a fight with or fuck one of The Kooks (or similar) then they were effectively banned. I managed to wear her down on a few, smuggle a few by her, & just blatantly play stuff of that ilk successfully, but it irked her some.
Sia, for example (& to some degree Basia Bulat, even Adele) have been a TWR staple for some time & now she (they) are either on their way to mainstream recognition or have started the process whereby they will be on car adverts & so forth in the very near future. I personally don’t give a shit as I like them, just as long as the music is good & they’re not on any of those Ant & Dec, Friday Night Project, & Al Murray type shows, masturbating their credibility away for the exposition buck. It’s then I’d reassess whether they would be taking up space in a playlist that would be better granted to a relatively unheard of start up.
So, I know where you’re coming from. It’s never about point scoring – I just get riled when the larger outlets out there start tagging ‘acts’ as their discovery. It’s always satifying to play the likes of The Hillfields & co, because it feels far more organic (apologies for sounding media wanker there), but as you say the inner pop slut does grab the controls every now & then & it’s nice to be reminded of the breadth of the whole skylark.
Slight detour – the SbT 2-4 segments have been compiled & transmorgified into nice single files & all are very nice indeed. Cheers again. I think you might come to hate the theme tune. Not immediately, but as the weeks go by…
Anyway, early night for me. ta ta.
Well, this made my day. The Honeytrap album will be making it’s way towards you (in digital form) within the week hopefully…
Thank you x
Is it? Oh brilliant news – I’ve been looking forward to this one for ages.
Hi Matthew
Thanks so much for the support and kind words- made me very happy! Hope you like the album!
LD x
Most amusing.
Slightly embarrassing as well, Juan, no?
Cheers Dan – I am really looking forward to it. I have a slot on student radio now, so I can plug you lot to my heart’s content.
That sounded a lot more vulgar than I intended it to.
No, it feels liberating. As I was reading it I could feel the catharsis. I was quitely laughing all the way too until you ended the post with a hard unlubricated fuck by a sea urchin, then quiet turned to not so quiet… You should try and work out a comments to alcohol ratio and we might have to start drinking before posting.
Sorry, blog responsibly children.