Black Kids – Partie Traumatic
Well what a rotten album this is, then. Really, just not very good at all – what the hell was all the fuss about?
I sort of skipped the hype surrounding these guys, but I do remember reading one rather thoughtful argument, although where I read it I can’t remember, that made a very good point. If a group can be hyped to the rafters based on their first couple of home recordings on MySpace, then there is a massive danger that they will still be finding their feet and just won’t be ready. They’ll get chewed up, evaluated, measured, loved or dismissed, all on the basis of a few home demos that basically represent no more than their first, tentative steps into the world of recorded music. They might barely even be a band yet.
Has this happened to Black Kids? Well I’ve no idea, of course, but it is a massive danger with getting too excited about a band before they’ve had time to find their feet. I mean, for fuck’s sake, even the great Tom Waits’ early recordings, whilst pretty good, gave little indication of the three decades of genius that were to come. Just listen to The Early Years Vol. 1 and see what I mean – it’s okay, but it would have been easy enough to dismiss him on that basis.
So with this I think the only song I’d heard before was the only decent song on the album: I’m Not Gonna Teach Your Boyfriend etc etc… This is a good, catchy track, the rest is bobbins, and really I am left feeling a little sullied by the experience. Have I expected too much from a group I would normally approach with a bit more skepticism because of all the hype? Have they been dealt something of a raw deal because of everyone being so desperate to find a sure thing in an era when all labels are seriously running scared? Are they appealing to other people? Or are they just a very limited group, dragged out of their natural environment by human beings’ rather unedifying herd instinct? Who knows, but this album has nothing that I would recommend to people who like the stuff that normally appears on this site, and I feel a little guilty for expecting that it might.
Black Kids – I’m Not Gonna Teach Your Boyfriend How to Dance With You
Black Kids – Hurricane Jane (Fucking awful.)
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Never liked them. Never appealed to any of my senses. Never read or listened to the buzz or hype – just noticed that suddenly they were blogged to death & i thought, yikes here we go again… & I was right. Don’t even like the Boyfriend track. There’s something more than a little over exerted in their attempts to create the new retro whilst acting all whatever about it all. They’ll all be in other bands or waiting tables in 2 years, so fuck ‘em.
Hiya Matthew. I reckon the article you are referring to was written by Jess Harvell and posted on Idolator.com a good few months ago.
ps. ‘Jess’ is a boy, who’d think?!
I think that’s the one, Ally. It’s true as well, because we really can hang, draw and quarter a band based entirely on their earliest stuff, when they really might be miles away from being ready to face the world, and it’s hard to tell them not to post anything on MySpace until they’re ready to have people judge it because the excitement must be hard to resist.
Scene: Opulent multinational record company board room.
Characters: One “Fat Cat” chairman of the board. Seventeen monkeys in suits. One genuine music lover leftover from the last independant record label bought our by this particular international conglomerate.
Fat Cat Chairman: I want us to find a band that sounds like a Tesco-Value Robert Smith lead-singing with a second rate Go! Team tribute band, but I want none of their songs to be better than any Go West album track. I’ve got a multi-million-promotional budget to blow on this, and I want them to be massively popular. It’s for a bet.
Solitary Music LoverWhat a fucking abysmal idea.
The seventeen monkeys in suits scream, screech, beat the table and mutually masturbate each other in anitcipatory glee. The chairman’s motion is passed.
That would be so much funnier if it were less true.
Actually, I think it probably runs more along the lines of desperation and uncertainty in the boardroom, and as soon as some buzz was developed amongst teh Kidz (TM) they pounced and spent, assuming the blogosphere can do no wrong, which is very foolish.
Can I just draw your attention to comments made about sparrow and the workshop myspace demos on on this very blog a few days ago?
Not criticising (as I share your love for them, and then some), just saying – when you get excited about a band in the early stages, it’s easy to build up unattainable expectations for their released material.
Well I do recall saying at the time that you have to take it easy until you know more about a group. I know it’s difficult to do when you get excited by something you hear, but I don’t think it went un-noted.
And about the Black Kids hysteria – I am not suggesting that people are wrong to get over-excited about a song that really gets them going, but I think at the time a lot of people just lost perspective. If there are only a couple of tracks out there then you have to remember that you’re only getting excited about a couple of tracks, which tells you very little about what the group has in them to achieve. Even Rod Stewart had a couple of good songs.
Fair enough – you did qualify the post with ‘not seen them live yet’, and ‘only demos’.
And I’m sure I’ve maybe overstated the quality of a band once or twice in the past, based on one performance or a cursory listen to a couple of songs.
Maybe.
Could you please indicate which Rod Stewart songs are good?
As this is news to me.
You Wear it Well is good, and Maggie May is good, and Baby Jane is good as well. That’s not much for a forty year career admittedly, and I may never forgive him for what he did to Downtown Train (and to a lesser extent Tom Traubert’s Blues, which was just piss-poor karaoke) but those three songs are decent.
Oh, and Sparrow & the Workshop already have enough for an album, so I can at least be confident that if they released one I would like it rather a lot. Even just using the songs they have now I reckon there’s a decent demo album in there already.
Let it not be said, of course, that I am saying that they are the second coming or the best band in the world or any of that stuff – they’re just a really promising new band who sound like they have a lot of potential. It’s really good stuff. That’s all.
I’ve got you a ticket for Rod Stewart dear. Just like you wanted.
saw these guys support sons and daughters and wanted to cut off my ears. wasn’t drinking so couldn’t even escape to the bar. so I went home. all because of them – and it was supposed to be sons and daughters second chance night. oh well. blame black kids.
Well just who the fuck did like them then? I could have sworn there was some buzz somewhere.
This has to be one of the least popular morsels Matthew has ever added to his musical Smörgåsbord for our delectation.
Does anyone out there like this?..
I think they’re great.
Energy, ideas, originality, panache….
(I’m joking, of course. This is clearly shite.)
I always preferred ‘You Wear It Well’ to ‘Maggie May’ even though they are clearly the same song.
Oh yeah, and these songs you posted are shit.
Good thing though. You’ve posted about four or five blinders in a row. It was starting to wear thin…
Hey – I never said they were good. I am still a little surprised that the buzz around this band was quite so overwhelming.
Well I, for one, really wanted them to be the next Prefab Sprout, based on those demos. Anyone who’s heard the Sprout’s early demos never woulda reckoned them to cough up Steve McQueen (Two Wheels Good in the US) within the next couple of years. So I’m feeling rather sad about this whole thing…
Well I feel sort of guilty because I approached the record with such high expectations, based on… well, nothing at all really. So I’ve ended up being really disappointed and it’s just not the band’s fault at all. If the fault lies with anyone, I’d say it lies with myself actually.
Yeah YFSP!
What does YFSP mean? Is that internet slang?
Might I also point out that the idea that people go from FaceBook to rock sensations is just bloody absurd. The fact that rock is basic doesn’t mean that it’s not a skill. I take your point very well Mr. Toad, that it is totally unfair to expect a bunch of kids with Garage Band and an internet connection to be the next… well… Prefab Sprout. It’s not the worst music I’ve ever heard, and maybe with a little guidance and practice, they will produce some proper music. As it is, they are already a failure because they didn’t produce a polished excellent album. It’s really totally unfair on them as you say.
I think that was your point. Maybe it wasn’t.
It means you fucking supercilious prick, which is something I rather foolishly called myself one day and C&B has taken to with a rather worrying enthusiasm.
You Fucking Said it Pal?
just a guess. 
re: the rod stewart catalog–i always liked vol. 2 of the best of rod stewart (which came out in 1976, which tells you his glory days were long behind him even then), in no particular order, “man of constant sorrow,” “find a reason to believe,” “mandolin wind” and “country comforts.”
It really doesn’t say much for poor old Black Kids that their thread has now been hijacked by Rod fucking Stewart, does it.
Ha. I just read the first line of your response, and forgetting I had asked you about the acronym thought to myself “well that’s a bit unfair. Just because I said they weren’t quite ready to take the world by storm”.
Then realised you were explaining.
It really doesn’t say much for poor old Black Kids that their thread has now been hijacked by Rod fucking Stewart, does it.
I know who I’d rather have sucking me off under a bridge in Central Park come the apocalypse, & it certainly aint no fat bitch keyboard stabber from a shambles of a throwback clatter band.
How did sucking off DC come up all of a sudden? If that’s what happens come the apocalypse, all I can say is, nuclear disarmament NOW!
It’s because he’s a fucking pervert, C&B. Everything comes back to man sex with that one. And his missus seems so nice too…
Did DC just admit he wants a blowjob off Rod Stewart?
Sorry, can I just blow clean out of the water all the arguments presented here along the lines of “Awww.. they’re only little.. It’s so unfair that they’ve been snapped up out of their playpens and stood up in front of the baying masses after barely mastering their Casiotone home keyboards… If we had all just left the little loves alone they might have turned out okay…”
Read this:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Black_Kids
Any band with this much experience and exposure over the past couple of years really needs to not be as shit as this any more…
Well that hardly makes them grizzled old hands, but it certainly does mean that if they were going to be good one would generally have expected them to have managed it by now.
Clearly not, then.
I know who I’d rather have sucking me off under a bridge in Central Park come the apocalypse, & it certainly aint no fat bitch keyboard stabber from a shambles of a throwback clatter band.
It, in a clumsy way, was a reference to Cloverfield – Lord knows why, as I was hammered on Toad fuel. Reading back I did indeed say I would prefer a blowie off of Mr Stewart. I need another drink..
Well at his age, the gums might make for a reasonable go of it actually.
There were blows jobs in Cloverfield? Before or after the monster and monsterlings stomped all over NYC?
Maybe I saw an edited version on the plane but no-one got sucked off and Rod Stewart wasn’t there. Which is obviously a bad thing given presence of man eating stompy monsters. Still at least the whiney guy who looked like a fat tongued cheap mans version of Ryan Reynolds finally bought it, I thought he and the indestructible anorexic were going to escape and live happily ever after on licked up bulimia.
Now Matthew’s at it!
Surely there are other websites you deviants can go to and talk about your OAP man-sex fetishes.
Weirdos.
Black Kids at the start, and OAP gum sex in blockbuster monster movies at the end.
This thread is fucking weird.
There were blows jobs in Cloverfield? Before or after the monster and monsterlings stomped all over NYC?
Hey! Spoiler alert missus!
Some of us haven’t seen the movie yet!
By the way, did you know your husband has a bit of a thing for elderly men in sequinned spandex? He shares fantasies about it with other degenerates on filthy websites.
One was merely expanding on the final scenes, the inevitable ‘I love you’ scenes, where, should I be caught in a similar predicament with both Mr Stewart & the Black Flidz ensemble I’d wave my length in Rod’s direction rather than anyone from the reason for this increasingly odd thread.
Is it me or does the fat bird really have no talent other than being a way of taking your mind of Beth Ditto’s cameltoe for a minute or two?
Which, it must be said, is very very important work indeed. No-one needs that image in their heads.
Dylan
All I meant was that everyone is entitled to a first album. It takes years and years and a good producer. The first sentence has the word ‘Formed in 2006, which means two years is the most they can have worked together.
Now, before you think I’m really disagreeing with you, or DC starts talking about his manscicle again, what I was critisising was the hype. I didn’t really get across they opinion that of course they’re a bit shit. They’re new at this. What is wrong is that a record company thinks that an investment in on album will give them the next big thing, or that a debut should be the ‘next big thing’. Most great bands put out a dodgy album or two. Christ listen to the first Beatles album. It’s dreadful. Or Radiohead. Or the Stones.
It’s just a shame this debate came up with Black Kids because they are NOT The Beatles, Radiohead or the Stones. Or Prefab Sprout. Or probably even good enough to get a second record.
Holy balls I need to proof ready.
Corrections
“I didn’t really get across the opinion that of course they’re shit”
“that a record company thinks an investment in one album”
That’ll teach me to type before the Breakfast Bloody Mary has kicked in.
That’s perhaps the most sadly indicative part of this whole story, actually. Labels are really panicky at the moment, no-ones seems to know how to make money and as soon as a bit of buzz around someone like Black Kids happens along, people grasp at it with a sort of palpable desperation – begging to have found the one blockbuster that will buoy them in the current climate. It worked with Vampire Weekend, for example.
With these guys it really seems to me that the internet buzz wasn’t evaluated anything like critically enough. Okay – people are excited, now why are they excited? How much reason have they got? I got really excited about Cavorting by the Courteeners, but when your enthusiasm is only based on one song then it needs to be taken with a massive pinch of salt.
People also seem to think that just because blogs are a grass-roots movement, that they are infallibly representative of market demand, where that might just not be the case. Blogs are a godsend for market researchers in many ways, but they do have to learn to interpret the information we provide a little more critically, I think.
Excuse me Dylan, Matthew, Ben? I believe we were discussing DC’s fondness for man sap. Now either spice it up, or stop interrupting.
Now we know why Penny Lancaster is divorcing him, he’s been spaffing his scant man fat in DC’s mush instead of halfway up her leg.
Just when we’d finally got the fucking thread back on track again. For fuck’s sake people.
Okay. Back on track. Here goes..
If I see an advert for this album in a magazine, I’m expecting to see the following quotes:
“An artist to watch” Rolling Stone
“Smart, Relevant” Associated Press
“Slightly less appealing than a blow job off Rod Stewart”Song, By Toad.com
“An artist to watch” Rolling Stone
“Smart, Relevant” Associated Press
“Slightly less appealing than a blow job off Rod Stewart”Song, By Toad.com
I believe my work is done here.
Now, then. Off to crisis-manage the Does It Offend You, Yeah? situation with similar aplomb.
Or Scouting For fucking Girls.
There’s a fucking paper-cut to the scrotum if ever there was one.
Scouting for fucking girls?
A noble pursuit.
Or in Matthew and DC’s case; scouting for knob-sucking old men.
He doesn’t have to scout, he knows where to go.
That Bad Day song is just plain fucking ear torture, so thanks for posting that here, Dylan mate. This stuff is nothing like Powter though. He has achieved banality through pitching for banality. These guys were actually caught on someone else’s tidal wave of misplaced enthusiasm, which may end up treating them rather badly, like we have. It’s a bit surreal if you ask me.
The Powter sound file on that BBC story is blocked by my company’s network. It doesn’t launch automatically or anything as utterly irresponsible as that, does it?
If so, I do apologise.
My point was something to do with crap music being over-promoted and over-exposed resulting in the quality of even the lowest common denominator dropping.
Or something.
I think that’s bollocks. This sort of stuff has always been happening. Who was it who sang Never Gonna Be Respectable in the 80s? Mel & Kim wasn’t it? Abominable.
Not just any old men, Dylan. Let’s not do Rod a disservice by suggesting he could easily be replaced by, say, a tramp with a sherry hangover. If I’m going to have to resort to having a gobble from a crumbly, rather than have that lump from BK mooching about my precious, then I want some pedigree attached to it (no, not any type of dog before any of you fuckers start).
By the by, hands up how many of you had a struggle to shift the image of Ditto’s over-pronounced sweaty panty pinch earlier? I’m betting a good portion of you will wake with night terrors of the ghost of that gummy monkey bearing down on you…
Respectable – Mel & Kim, yes. It wasn’t abominable, Toad. It was the voice of a disaffected teenage youth in search of a leisure centre disco.
To today’s disaffected teenage youth, I have this to say:
Young hearts be free tonight / Time is on your side,
Dont let them put you down / dont let em push you around,
Dont let em ever change your point of view.
We got just one shot of life / lets take it while were still not afraid.
Because life is so brief and time is a thief when youre undecided.
And like a fistful of sand / it can slip right through your ha-ya-yands.
Fucking Shakespeare, that is. To say nothing of his gums.
Just so you perverts and degenerates know, somewhere in the world, an idealistic young artist googled himself, and through no real fault of his own (other than the crime of being ‘not especially stellar’) he just read that his art was “slightly less appealing than a blowjob from Rod Stewart”.
Firstly, the most surreal bit of artistic analysis I’ve ever heard. Secondly, when his middle school middle school music teacher said the words “Artists must develop a thick skin” never a truer word was fucking spoken eh?!
S’funny you should mention that, Ben. Coupled with this quote from above:
Blogs are a godsend for market researchers in many ways, but they do have to learn to interpret the information we provide a little more critically, I think.
I’m kinda curious as to what BK’s PR & management would think of the analysis of their cahrge’s worth. So I emailed them a link to the blog…
You inhumane bastard!
Please let them send the Web Sheriff. Pleeeeaaaaase.
If they ever read this I might cry out of shame. I am hoping that they are sufficiently famous by now that they don’t give a rat’s arse about some scabby little blog in a little-known musical hinterland.
If not of course, I would imagine that their reaction might be something akin to this: “What a bunch of cunts”.
And it’s too late to send Web Sherriff, this thread has a life of its own. Unusually though, no outraged BK fans giving me a slagging. Although, let’s face it, you’d have to be mad.
STOP PICKING ON THE BLACK KIDS! YOUR JUST JEALOUS THAT THEY HAVE ALL THERE SUCCESS AND ALL YOU HAVE IS A CRAPPY BLOG THAT JUST KNOWS NOTHING ABOUT MUSIC BUT SHITTY HIPPIE CRAP AND YOU’LL NEVER EVER BE FAMOUS LIKE THEM. JUST BECAUSE THEY HAVE A RETRO STYLE AND ARENT AFRAID TO BE DIFRENT YOU ARE AFRAID OF WHAT YOU DONT UNDERSTAND!
DC, it tells me your IP address when you leave a comment. Top bad spelling though, most convincing.
Don’t worry about fans of BK; or as DC put it earlier, with a delightful frisson of reminiscence for myself at a deliciously distasteful and long-forgotten playground insult, “Blind Flids”.
I searched the web today for positive quotes to use in that earlier post of mine about the magazine advert, and as far as I can tell, not a single miserable fucker in the world likes this album.
THEN WHY IS THE FUCKER EVEN ON MY SITE FOR FUCK’S SAKE? I WAS LED TO BELIEVE THAT THIS SHIT WAS POPULAR. THAT’S THE ONLY REASON I BOUGHT THIS FUCKING ALBUM!
You paid money for this?!!
Jesus, dude, I’m so sorry…
Yeah, if ever there was a perfect illustration of the need for free torrent downloading then it is this sort of shite.
I am all a’twitter to know what a “blind flid” is. Also, I just picked up a vinyl copy of James’ 1986 album Stutter to replace a very old worn out cassette that melted in my car on a hot day in 1993. What a fucking corker of an album. BK would give their vestigial nipples to be able to put out a record even a fifth as grand. Just had to get that off my chest.
Oh, and in the same shopping trip I bought “Flying Low” by Willard Grant Conspiracy on CD and a top notch 5-song EP on vinyl from Echo and the RabbitGuys, released in 1983 and containing a super live version of “Do It Clean” recored at the Royal Albert Hall. Pleased. As. Punch.
Now the Willards really are a top notch band. Add some James and some McCulloch and you have had something of an outing there. Well played, sir.
Sony will be on the blower to Thomas Dolby by now, I suspect.
Until then, I’m off to develop a thick foreskin…
Ah fuck ‘em, they’re famous. Once you’re in the Rolling Stone you can’t cry to Mummy any more.
hippies.
C&B, I should make a correction.
DC actually said Black Flids. In doing so remaining more faithful to the actual name of the band.
I typed ‘Blind’ for no apparent reason other than I’m a bit of a div myself on times.
I’m going to listen to Stutter now..
“Poor old Johnny Yen set himself on fire again…”
Yay!
Now, then. Stutter is a phenom debut. Loved it then & love it now. God, haven’t properly heard that for a while, or the Hymn From A Village 12″. Think I’ll indulge a little, to take the taste of the Black Thalids out of my marf.
You sure that taste in your mouth isn’t anything to do with munching on Rod Stewart’s trouser salami?
The Black flids may not enjoy what the Google brings them but Rod’s rod is going to be glad he’s still got it according to the KidzTM
You know what’s really sad? Yesterday slagging this poor lot off brought me three hits shy of my best ever day on this blog, all on the basis of needlessly mocking the mediocre and making foul comments about Rod Stewart’s wrinkled old sausage roll.
This blog makes me hang my head in shame.
Is there any less PC insult than flid, that you can think of? Window-lickers is pretty good, but it is just a bit too comical to be really nasty.
What the fuck is a flid!? Black, blind, or otherwise?
Me no savvy yer lingo, no?
Flid is a short form of the word thalidomide, which comes from the fact that babies of mothers who were prescribed thalidomide tended to be rather horribly deformed. It’s a lovely term, really.
At least, that’s my understanding of what it means, anyway. I’m open to correction.
Explained here.
So perhaps not one to teach the kids, C&B.
You Brits are a nasty lot. In the States we’d gently call them criptards or hunchbacks. Man’s inhumanity to man. That’s up there (or rather, down there) with dead baby jokes.
Anyway, apparently Matthew and DC want a blow job off Rod Stewart!
Erm, no, that was DC if you remember.
I’m sorry Dylan, I just don’t feel up to it. Those poor, poor thalidomide babies! Bless their tiny malformed hearts. Oh, I really need to go and wash my hands now.
Right, erm, this is just possibly the sort of thing that might get this site on the front page of the fucking Sun or something like that under some sort of Teh Evil Internetz headline.
Let’s stick to Rod Stewart and overhyping, shall we lads?
Right. Time to reel this bad boy back in a bit. Soooo, anyone here want to blow Rod Stewart?
At one point, Matthew, you didn’t seem averse to the idea of a sloppy gumming off Rod “the rod”, that’s all I’m saying…
C&B – no, I can’t imagine sucking on a cold, wet, empty plastic bag would be much different, except for the faint smell of wee old people tend to get in their advancing years.
Dylan – I was merely pointing out to DC that it mightn’t be as bad as he thought.
This is getting complicated, is Rod the gobbler or the gobblee here?
In C&B’s scenario, the one I illustrated with the plastic bag scenario, he is the gobblee.
I don’t think Rod’s fussy to be honest.
He swings both ways..
Wasn’t there something about Rod Stewart and a gerbil back in the early 80s?
Or was that Richard Gere?
Fuck me!
I didn’t have him down as a model railway enthusiast!
On a totally different subject, Samantha Crain’s new “Confiscation” EP was just released on Ramseur Records and can be downloaded on iTunes or emusic. Very very good. Enough to dispel all thoughts of BK or RS.
I am going to pick one up when I interview her at Pickathon, mate. Want me to ask her to blow you a kiss? If I ask really nicely she might be persuaded.
Not, of course, if she reads this train wreck of a thread…
Schweet. Give us a kss, Sammie girl. And please make it clear to her that the whole “flid” and Rod Stewart nonsense was DC’s doing. I was barely involved.
Did you know Pete Waterman is also a big model train enthusiast? He set up his own company because he couldn’t find anyone who made the trains he wanted the exact way he wanted.
I know this, wait for it…
…because my company here at Proper Job actually did a lot of the 3D computer modelling for him.
How the fuck about that then?
Wow!
Erm, who is Pete Waterman?
Calling her things like ‘Sammie girl’ is unlikely to help.
The Insaminator perhaps? Samatron? Samma-lamma-ding-dong?
So, hang on, to recap: Rod Stewart was exposed by The Sun as to having coerced a thalidomide kid into chomping his pigstick? Jesus Christ. I’ll never be able to listen to his version of Downtown Train ever again.
Rod’s love for the model trains sort of puts that whole “Downtown Trains” debacle in a different light, doesn’t it? He wasn’t waiting for the girl at all; it was the train! The train!
It makes it, if anything, even sadder.
C&B if you fucking ruin this interview for me before I even get there then I am going to fucking kill you!
Pete Waterman’s Wikipedia entry – that first paragraph can’t be true!
Oh, c’mon! It’s just a bit of whimsy. By all accounts she’s a lovely person, and I highly doubt that she would take offense to being called something so innocuous. She’s Samanthariffic! And she knows it.
Which bit Dylan, the trains? Yup. He’s been in the office discussing design details before. Takes it quite seriously.
I think Dylan’s probably referring to the court order business about making tea for the train operators. Sounds a bit dodgy, no?
No, no.. I believe you about the trains. It’s this bit:
Born in Coventry, Waterman was a teenage train spotter at Leamington Spa railway station every Saturday morning. He enjoyed this so much, he began collecting railway equipment – some of which had been stolen, for which he was convicted of receiving stolen goods. Waterman had left Whitley Abbey Comprehensive School (now rebuilt and called Whitley Abbey Community School) illiterate, not learning to read until the age of thirty-eight.[1] The judge who convicted him gave him a six months suspended sentence, subject to him travelling to Wolverhampton on a free pass and making tea for the depot staff. After his six months service, the depot foreman offered him a job as a cleaner, from which he progressed to a fireman. After closure of the depot, Waterman choose to follow a career in music, being inspired by The Beatles. To supplement his income as a DJ, Waterman became a gravedigger and then an apprentice at General Electric Company, becoming a trade union official.
Sounds like something Ronnie Barker would have written.
Toad, if she can describe herself as an Indian Midget on-stage then I think she will live with C&B’s fluffy Samatha jibes.
Dylan, that smells just a little of fish. Wikipedia might be having one of its ‘moments’. Then again, he wouldn’t be the first to use early misery to motivate considerable achievement later in life. It’s a bit of a surreal tale though.
That’s what’s great about an encyclopaedia the general public can edit. The opportunities for fun are endless.
I added my mate Jim to the list of notable people from Leicester.
By Leicester’s standards, he’s probably not far off.
He was up there with Una Stubbs and David Icke.
Actually – that’s not a bad way to describe Jim – somewhere between Una Stubbs and David Icke.
Wow, Pete Waterman digging your grave would be a claim to fame. Shame you’d never get to talk about it like. Unless the Catholics are right about all the wafers and the heavens and stuff.
“You know that Pete Waterman yeah, thats the one, Sinita, “So Macho” and tha Kylie yeah?, dug my grave ee did. Digs a lovely hole does our Pete, fancy a wafer?”
“Nah, acid stomach mate, I never transubstantiate after 6 o clock me or my arse’ll be in tatters come morning. Mind you, I once sucked off Rod Stewart in Central Park. Just like Pepto Bismol, slept like a baby”
You’ve got a real gem there, Toad. Hold on tightly and never let ‘er go.
Such a delicate flower.
Before we end this thread, could someone go back & count the numerous variations on the word ‘cock’ we’ve all come up (oo-er) with? I think we may be heading into Profanisaurus territory.
I’m not sure I could face it DC.
Noooo… Never let it end!..
I hereby declare this thread OVER!
*Phew*
I need a cuppa.
Quite right. Never got the appeal at all. I tried to listen to several of their tunes amidst all the buzz, etc., but I could never get through one before I decided that my time would be better spent on more interesting pursuits like the crossword or mowing the lawn.