I Fucking Hate Ciabatta

Fucking Ciabatta

Fucking ciabatta.  I can’t stand this stuff: mealy, floury, flavourless, inedible rubbish.  I don’t mean proper ciabatta of course, but it’s been so long since I had one of those that I barely remember what they’re supposed to taste like.

Basically, we in the UK have done to the ciabatta what we long ago did to the baguette: made it ubiquitous and inedible.  The texture is repellent, it dries your mouth out to eat the fucking things, and they are to be found in every shitty sandwich shop on these bloody islands.  The bread itself is so overpoweringly joyless that it completely overwhelms the ingredients of the fucking sandwich as well, and all you end up tasting is one tortuous mouthful after another of indigestible, mealy, thousand-chew garbage.

Stop with the fucking ciabatta, already.  If you can’t actually make ciabatta properly, leave it the fuck alone.

Johnny Flynn & the Sussex Wit – Cold Bread
Eels – Hospital Food

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