Comments on: Fudge Yourself Five Ways From Friday

By: Matthew

Matthew — Mon, 29 Sep 2008 16:58:20 +0000

Don’t, Ed, you’ll only end up encouraging him!

By: Ed

Ed — Mon, 29 Sep 2008 16:06:30 +0000

It’s the first thing that’s made me laugh all day…

By: Matthew

Matthew — Sun, 28 Sep 2008 13:40:01 +0000

That was such a shit pun I think it actually caused me physical pain.

By: Jake

Jake — Sun, 28 Sep 2008 13:35:20 +0000

well, she is heavenly in the bedroom, her favourite of course being goddy style.

By: Matthew

Matthew — Sun, 28 Sep 2008 13:30:01 +0000

I’m god and so’s my wife.

By: Jake

Jake — Sun, 28 Sep 2008 13:29:03 +0000

Can I confess to being god? Or would that phrasing jeopardise my impartial Partick thistle status?

By: Matthew

Matthew — Sun, 28 Sep 2008 13:16:52 +0000

Ooh, we’re getting good here. I saw an excllent bumper sticker recently that read:

Militant Agnostic: I’m not sure and neither are you.

By: Dylan

Dylan — Sun, 28 Sep 2008 13:13:36 +0000

I’m wondering whether this might actually really be God.

It’s either God or Paddy McAloon.

By: god

god — Sun, 28 Sep 2008 12:45:14 +0000

Just noticed that not all 5 lines were the same. Woops. Guess I’m a bit focussed on my own self-important specialist subject. I’ll have a go at anything, though, me. Well, anything except a decimal calendar. Bit of a shame about that: think I forgot to mention the creation of wine on the sixth day. Had a stinker of a hangover on the seventh and haven’t done sweet FA since.

That’s the benefits system for you. (see above)

Independent really should mean that you’re toilet-trained and can wash yourself, so how come all Indie fans look & smell like shit?

At least if you offend the English they’ve always got a handkerchief to wipe away the tears: if they’re not waving them about with bells on (am sure Morris-dancing was a major contributory factor in the spread of the Bubonic Plague) then they’ve tried to remember 4 things and stuck them on their sunburnt bonces (sun tan lotion evidently coming in as the fifth thing to remember)

Any country which has a national drink imported from Ireland (probably originally from China), a national instrument from Mesopotamia, a French-based word for it’s national clothe (tiretaine) and is actually named after Medieval refugees should surely be the most accepting cosmopolitan land. Where they’ll dress up, march around and play gleeful songs to celebrate 400 year old religious massacres in another country? Indeed, my real five to fudge are:

1. Orange Walks
2. Orange Walks
3. Orange Walks
4. Orange Walks
5. Orange Walks

By: god

god — Sun, 28 Sep 2008 12:11:32 +0000

Vegetarians are just plant-killers. What’s the dfference? What makes a hogwort’s life any less worthy than a hog’s? Who are they to judge anyway? Vegetarians should be sent back-packing to famine-ridden hotspots. With instructions as to how they should be eaten.

Atheists are just dyslexic sprinters.

“Rastafarianism” itself is offensive to Rastas. And why aren’t they all in Ethiopia anyway? Self-imposed exile doesn’t count.

Atheists critical of religion are merely jealous and insecure about their own lack of understanding of life.

If you can’t listen to God, what hope have you in marriage? Doomed. Do what she tells you, really.

Agnostics can’t even count, never mind form a serious religous opinion.