Live in Edinburgh This Week – 14th September 2008
As you can see I have complied with Mrs. Toad’s request to stop featuring cutesy Edinburgh pictures on these little posts and put up some pictures of radgy wee neds instead. This is something I think she feels is more representative of a kind of Edinburgh life that tends to be ignored (for more such pictures, go here, it’s hilarious).
I play football regularly in Craigmillar, often against teams from there or alternatively from lovely places like Craigour, Niddrie and other delightful Edinburgh tourist spots. I’ve actually been threatened with being knifed something like three or four times during various matches when we’ve played out there. It is a little unsettling actually, because for all you always have to respond with bravado – ‘Yeah fuck off – I’m more scared of your Mum you little poof’ or something equally erudite – there’s always the slender chance that one of the weaselly little fuckers is just crazy enough to mean it.
The biggest question I have with neds (pikeys, scallys, radges, whatever you local variation might be) is how they manage to find the stamina to go through life so CONSTANTLY FUCKING ANGRY. Honestly, where does that rage come from, how can they summon that level of anger, all of every day, about nothing at all? I suppose having lost at everything doesn’t help. Maybe the anger is why they live such short lives too – the rage must just burn you up.
Anyway, all that’s by the by really, isn’t it. What’s on this week then? Not much, but one absolute corker: Fence Club.
Wednesday 17th September 2008: James Yorkston & the Athletes, Malcolm Middleton, and Pictish Trail & Rozi Plain at The Caves.
In terms of lineups you’d struggle to beat this. James Yorkston’s new album is gorgeous, and given his tour is necessarily going to be a solo affair I really recommend you take this chance to see him now. The lush beauty of the sound is going to be perfect for The Caves, especially with full Athletic accompaniment. Malcolm Middleton’s literate, witty, downbeat indie takes little introduction, I would hope, and the dynamic duo of Pictish and Plain should be a treat. Tickets are getting close to selling out, too, so I’d buy one now if I were you. The official line is that there should be tickets left to sell on the door, but they aren’t certain. Book here to put your mind at rest.
James Yorkston – Queen of Spain
Malcolm Middleton – A Brighter Beat
Saturday 20th September 2008: Jonquil at Henry’s Cellar Bar.
One of Edinburgh’s own has recently agreed to become their manager, so they must be good. It’s a sort of experimental folk sound, broadly speaking, and is really bloody marvellous live. It’s a late one too, so don’t get so plastered you fail to appreciate the music. I do that all the fucking time, and it irritates the shit out of me.
Jonquil – Apparency
And, you know, I really think that’s it.
Aye – thanks mate = that’s about it!!! Trampoline is on this Sunday – 21st September – which may actually technically be next week but in your world is this week. So, for those who don’t know.
Trampoline@ Wee Red Bar, Edinburgh Art College. Sunday 21st September. doors 7p. £5 entry – £3 with a student card (that is valid!)
Featuring: Glissando; Debutant and The French Quarter.
It’s part of Glissando’s UK tour. They are described as: Low meets Mogwai, only with fragments of Regina Spektor at her most restrained. Exceptional.
It’s worth a few quid on a wet autumn sunday evening.
Have you seen Eden Lake? I went last night and it was much much much better than I feared it might be (which might make you wonder why I saw it but I just wanted to go and see a film and it was the most convenient one on other than Mama Mia which I’m not going to go and see under any circumstances at all ever) but is all about nice young men like those in your picture. Managed to be morally ambiguous and interesting when it could easily have been crass and obvious. And wonderfully horribly violent too, of course.
There’s also Bon Iver at the Queen’s Hall on Wednesday – who I’ve not heard enough of to form a proper opinion, but enough people have recommended him to me to warrant a mention.
And a Benbecula night at the Voodoo Rooms on Friday.
And the Foundling Wheel and the Gussets at Limbo on Thursday.
Though I’ve a feeling I’m going to have to pass on everything this week.
sigh.
Everyone should go and see Jonquil though.
They’re splendid.
Nice young men.
No, I haven’t actually. What with all the music I tend to only see films in order to turn my brain off entirely – i.e. spaceships and explosions, generally – but as Euan has pointed out, sometimes I do it here too.
I even gave you an exclusive about the monthly trampoline which you never used. I give up.
Actually Adam, a friend of mine is an evolutionary biologist, specialising in the biology and natural selection imfluences on group dynamics. He is also the manager of the football team, and his post-match analyses of why they are such cock-monkeys never fails to be completely fascinating. He manages to break it down so neatly into the choices available to them and the maximum benefit to be accrued from making those choices in certain ways. If you look at it from a purely biological stance it actually starts to make a lot of sense.
Leaving the bright lights of Edinburgh behind this weekend for a long weekend in Dundee with friends and going to see the splendid Broken Records and Sparrow and the workshop! Totally irrelevant, but felt inclined to mention it.
Might even pop in to see the folks aswell…
Don’t go out of your way. They’re only your parents after all, and those are two of the best bands in Scotland.
I know – very excited! But will go out of my way for some home cooking, you know how it is!
I want to go to Dundee this weekend.
come to trampoline instead dylan. debutant is phil from kartta and his solo stuff is rather excellent. whilst the french quarter – well you’ve heard them. and glissando. if you like your music dark and haunting – they are for you.
http://www.myspace.com/glissando
Dont worry Euan – M doesn’t bloody listen to me either.
I have just spent the last 15 minutes looking at “neds,” and I honestly can’t remember spending a more enjoyable 15 minutes. A tonic for the times, truly.
Also got James Murphy (LCD Soundsystem) doing a DJ set at The Caves this sunday along support from with Frightened Rabbit, Isosceles and Harri also playing. Part of the Tennents Mutual programme. Nice Blog btw.
C&B – it’s brilliant isn’t it. It’s one of those sites where you automatically have to view every page before you can walk away, irrespective of how many there might be.
Cheers, Tony, that’s a fine show. I’ve been a bit shit recently about finding the good ‘uns.
Ah, neds. Chavs as they’re called south of the border. Bogans here in Oz. Amazing that they have basically the same look to them wound the world – slightly different football strips, but otherwise, identical.
I dunno, I think the bogan (or chig in my corner of the world) aesthetic is fundamentally pretty different: black t-shirt, flanny, ripped jeans + ugg boots.
Not arguing with the fact that they share a common socio-economic niche, though bogans actually seem to be regarded a little more positively in Australia (exhibit A: National Bogan Day), even if in a somewhat tongue-in-cheek fashion. I think it will be a while before anyone in England suggests National Chav Day…
National Hunt-a-Chav Day is more likely.
Think that’s been tried already. youtube video got a bunch of private school kids (up in Scotland I think) in strife.
What’s a ‘flanny’?
Yes indeed. It may even have been in Edinburgh I think. There’s a fuck of a lot of private school kids up here, which can lead to that sort of thing.
I know it’s wrong, but the concept did make me laugh. I never saw the actual videos, but ‘By golly, Jenkins has bagged one of the little blighters’ gave me cause for a little sniggering.
A ratty, chequered flannel shirt? Just a guess.
I’m imagining it going over the top of a wifebeater stained with beer and burger sauce, but maybe that’s exaggerating.
flanny == flannelette shirt, one of those thick, check shirts, usually red+black or blue+black, you might associate with lumberjacks.
Apparently (wikipedia just informs me) it has it’s origins in 16th century Welsh attire, and it was marketed by a company operating out of Shrewsbury. There you go.
Yup. That’s about it, though on a bogan it’s usually over a faded and torn Slayer or Metallica t-shirt.
I think the difference between flannelette and flannel is that flannelette is a cheaper imitation.
The fucking Welsh again. I knew it!
(Flannel = just too upmarket for some people.)
Try Nobody Likes a Bogan for an example.
That trick with the bottle cap and the spatula is quite impressive, actually..
I was expecting something so different after Dylan’s comment. Actually that song reminds me of Bloke by, erm, Chris somebody. “Just fetch my beer and get my smokes and go away!”
Oh, you thought I meant the other bottle-cap / spatula trick.
The one that also requires two dwarves, a sturdy table, a donkey and a large jar of vaseline.
You see, Matthew, the other thing that would appeal to you about Shrewsbury is that you can throw stones at Wales from here and hit it.
And Wales, it would seem, fucking deserves it.
Just because we keep beating you at rugby?
Rugby. Homo-erotic egg-chasing.
No, I don’t care about rugby.You can be so good at rugby that they re-name it Welshby for all I care.
Cocks and leeks (phallic) are both associated with Rugby and Swing Low Sweet Chariot is clearly a homoerotic anthem alluding to cupping a teammates pendulous testes as he bends over in front of you with his ringpiece halfway up your nose.
Its totally gay. Totally.
I do love her sometimes.
So you’re saying rugby’s gay, but the idea of twenty-odd overpaid prima donnas running around an immaculately coiffured bowling green pretending to fall over for an hour-and-a-half somehow isn’t gay?
Oh, and Swing Low.. is an English rugby song. So yes, it is totally gay.
Rugby is gay.
And crap.
Oh, and not forgetting the racist undertones to the English singing Swing Low..
No wonder everyone likes to beat them…
Still crap.
And still quite gay.
If you don’t stop I’ll call it ’soccer’.
You know I will.
*Shudder*
Ok, for the “dumb ‘merican” here again, someone please confirm for me that the term “chav” is an acronym for Council House something something? (Oh and do fill in the somethings, thanks!) I’ve got an awful row going on about it with some other Brits who strongly disagree. Even wiki doesn’t seem to know. Thanks ever so much xoxo
Council House And Violent is my understanding, although I believe there is some dispute over this.
And isn’t ‘Ned’ short for Non-Educated Delinquent?
There’s a serious debate about the etymology of Chav – there’s an argument that it comes from a Romany term for kid – chavvie – and that it’s use as a term of abuse for ‘council house and violent’ folk has something of a racist air about it. In my more cynical moments I thank the lord that we’ve been given a group to feel prejudiced about who are, on the whole, white straight men.
I’m trying to think of anything gayer than rugby and I got it!
Aussie Rules Football. Those guys have Footballers Hair/Wives/Cars/Fake Tan AND run around in tight shorts grappling each other enthusiastically!
I love Neds, impotent bundles of toothless mumbling rage with their swinging gait and primate like gestures. “awrightmangiesafuckindrinkyabam”
Heres some Ned culture (with subtitles)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=huK0mIDAl30&NR=1
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uJF4FtEgnK8&NR=1
Ah thanks guys, and yes Adam I must say I lean toward your way of thinking as well! Over here, we’re just confused on whether it is a particular bit of the working-class or a term used for all of it. I have found it to be used as anti-white working-class sentiment in urban areas but not about the class as a whole, but not living there, it’s hard to know. In either case, those damn kids are annoying as fuck, no matter where you encounter them!
Do you know what’s gayer than rugby?
Soccer! That’s what!
Nice try. Wrong, but nice try.
Tart, I’ve actually heard white people in the States whining about White Trash being a racist term. I had some time being white trash and it was brilliant, but insulting people and making wild generalisations is part of being human. If you wish to not be insulted, try evolving and learning to read, then perhaps someone might cut you some breaks you fucking neanderthal.
Did I offend? Apologies, it wasn’t intended xx
I wouldn’t for a second suggest that it’s wrong to insult and be rude to people, if I thought that was the case I never would have come here (if you see what I mean) but just that we need to make sure that we know exactly what it is we are saying, denotatively and connotatively, so that we can be sure that we mean it.
Mmm. not sure i agree with mr toad. i spent a couple of years coaching kids hockey in dundee. they were from the poorest areas of the city and whilst, at times, a nightmare to coach, they were a great laugh also. and, by being at my training sessions, rather than being on the streets, they were bettering themselves, finding an interest to keep them occupied and out of trouble. but that doesn’t stop the more “educated” in society calling them neds, gadgies, chavs – whatever you want to call them. appearance is more the reason for the abuse they take than their intelligence. some of those kids were bright as hell, keen to learn and a joy to coach. yet they were still neds to the masses. so maybe it’s actually us so called educated middle class chumps who have the problem? maybe we’re snobs? i don’t know.
I wasn’t offended at all, Tart. I was just so surprised to hear someone getting their back up about being called white trash when most of the people I have known who fit that description seemed to treat it like something of a badge of honour.
I think I’ve heard redneck being described as racist as well, when I thought it was more of a classist thing. I mean, get your sweeping generalisations right, people.
Maybe we’re snobs Euan? No maybe about it. We all make these generalisations all the time, and there’s nothing wrong with them. Snap judgements and stereotyping exist largely because they are statistically useful in terms of guessing about a person, the problem is more that a/ we take them far too seriously in terms of over-estimating how applicable they are and b/ humans are rotten at instinctive statistics and so we tend to make our judgments in these cases very poorly. If we were any good at doing it then no-one would play the lottery ever.
OK, part of me feels like I should step up to defend Aussie Rules Football…
But nah, some of my most traumatic childhood memories involve being forced to run around a wet rainy field at primary school learning how bounce and catch an oddly shaped ball. Now whoever thought that was a good idea?
In teeny-tiny little shorts!
‘fraid so… de rigeur
i have never played the lottery.
Good. It’s a fucking scam.
hence why i’ve never played it.
That’s what I mean though: people are incredibly bad at statistics. Hence the hysterical fear of wandering paedophiles and idiotic enthusiasm for the lottery.
it’s also the society we live in – i.e. the fear mongering of the media etc.
Well if you’re not offended yet I’m sure I’ve got more nasty things to say about Calexico!
Do you honestly want to read another 1000 screed on why they’re brilliant? No, thought not, so stop it.
[...] . Toad of Song, by Toad is a master of getting feedback from a notoriously reticent audience. See this post about Neds and this one on Calexico as an example of Toad at his [...]
You’re right about the stereotyping. Having grown from a fully fledged ‘Ned’ as you call it, since I grew up in a council house, wore boob tubes and drank MD 20/20, had separated parents etc. to a full-blown middle-class teacher/musician, the comments are exactly what you’d expect to hear from a middle class bunch. Even the defensive, well it’s ok to make sweeping generalisations cos sticks and stones can break my bones but stereotypes will never hurt me cos I’m middle class was expected. But I thought that more might have debated the truth of our social system. Would you not rise up and be proud of a name that the people that put you in your shitty position in the first place used for you as a derogatory term? I throw chinky about left, right and centre, I am half Chinese. Do us Scots not pride ourselves on our killer drinking culture? Do black people use the term ‘nigger’? All derogatory terms. We take the piss and appear proud of our derogatory terms, live up to them even because that’s what society expects of us.
Who’s willing to give these kids a break? When you’ve got parents on heroin at home; when you’ve been beat on all your life; when you’ve got yourself up every morning, got yourself ready for school and grabbed your handful of dry cereal from the box; when all you know is anger and hate at home; when people have already made their judgements about you, why the fuck should you try and be something else? You’re already marked.
I know that this isn’t what this blogs about and wouldn’t it be lovely of me to crack some jokes about how I used to be Ned and sucked 8000 cocks, but this time, after reading all these posts with only Euan trying to defend, well, I felt a little reminder was needed.
Working in a school where teachers already mark kids at 5 to be ending up in jail is positively depressing work. I would like to think that some folk still believe in giving folk a chance and that that begins by changing your own views.
Admittedly I still struggle with the whole working-class to middle-class thing. I don’t like it. I have and use stereotypical views about middle class life. But I’m trying to fight it. I’m sure there’s lots of middle class folk out there who don’t wear Pringle, don’t drive Volvo’s and who don’t play Golf.
As Billy Connelly said, before he became middle class of course, working class love the Upper class eccentrics. They communicate. Upper class love the rough and ready working class. they understand each other. It’s the ‘unsure what I am but I wanna be upper class’ middle class that cause all the fucking problems, that nobody likes. We love that self-deprecation shit though don’t we? Us middle class get away with saying anything we like cos we know that we’re an annoying, educated, self-righteous bunch anyway. And so we start again.
Fuck it. That felt good. Here I fucking come Martin Luther KIng!
[...] been neatly scolded for my snobbery after mocking neds last week, with no mention of their prejudice for threatening to chib me for [...]
Hear Hear, Wee Half China.
A slightly debilatating intestinal problem, & the resulting fun that inevitably goes with such gifts from genetic hand-me-downs, has kept me pretty much quiet of late; hence me not pitching in on this one.
Even so, this one did have me scratching my chin in a vaguely middle class manner over the resulting commentary (despite being only vaguely considered mc by dint of career choice, a lack of Welsh accent proper & fuck all else).
Is this the type of circus you alluded to, Toad, a few weeks back? If it keeps up I think you’re going to have to get yourself a larger Big Top to house that extra ring. Beware, though: as the boundary between performer & audience blurs, try & avoid getting shafted in it.