Comments on: I Think I am Actually Becoming Immune to Christmas

By: Matthew

Matthew — Fri, 28 Nov 2008 09:26:44 +0000

Tart, they do sound suspiciously like the same thing, don’t they.

Ed – where were you yesterday when your new signing was playing Limbo. I was hoping you might make it.

By: Ed

Ed — Fri, 28 Nov 2008 07:31:24 +0000

Bloody hell folks…it’s becoming more like a hardcore porn site over here everyday! : ))

By: Tart

Tart — Fri, 28 Nov 2008 06:49:37 +0000

Oh so it’s honorable to make your own chutney but you can’t swap jizz on Christmas? I will NEVER understand you people! :-p

By: Matthew

Matthew — Fri, 28 Nov 2008 01:14:56 +0000

I thought a snowball was when someone blew you and then fed you your own jizz from their mouths. Not really suitable for Christmas Day, surely.

By: Mrs Toad

Mrs Toad — Fri, 28 Nov 2008 00:51:15 +0000

Dylan. I think you have just described what must be the most revolting cocktail I have ever heard of. Ever. Ever.

Fizzy gingery yellow snot with sherry and a glace cherry? I wouldn’t know whether to puke (fizzy snot snot), piss myself (old lady sherry) or give head to a bouncer at the back of the Cavendish (the entirely graceless glace cherry).

If this is what the young people of Britain are knocking back of a weekend, it explains A LOT about our society and they should all be birched and made to drink proper gin martinis until they have remedied their ways.

By: Dylan

Dylan — Thu, 27 Nov 2008 23:20:16 +0000

No. Tangerines are nice and plump and juicy and sweet. Clementines are minging and dry and made of skin and have no juice. And they taste of mould.

Never Say Never Again does not count as a proper Bond movie because it wasn’t produced by a member of the Broccoli family. (Or any of the brassicas for that matter.)

Advocaat is brilliant. Snowballs made with advocaat, ginger beer and sherry, and served with a glacé cherry on a cocktail stick rule and if you don’t know that you don’t know anything!

By: Tom (on legs)

Tom (on legs) — Thu, 27 Nov 2008 23:12:36 +0000

a fucking men

By: Mrs Toad

Mrs Toad — Thu, 27 Nov 2008 22:06:44 +0000

Christmas should involve the following :
– Getting pished on boxing day in front of telly
- watching one of chitty chitty bang bang/mary poppins/my fair lady/wizard of oz becuase you are too full/pished to change the channel
-heinous amounts of food including bowls of mixed nuts that need cracked (no ready cracked nuts people please) and tangerines (which now seem to be called clementines. Its a fucking tangerine ya diddy!)
-a slightly failed attempt at handmaking one of ; roast chestnuts/christmas cake/mince pies
-a drunken argument with a relative concerning the order in which Bond films were made and whether the remake of Thunderball does/doesn’t count as a full Bond film.
- a misguided but well meaning present that leaves you speechless as to how to concoct thanks and just a little paranoid that everyone you know thinks that you really would suit/like barbie pink tweed slippers trimmed in lace
-a drunken phone call to/from someone you haven’t seen in 16 years (see also New Year – this is oblig)
- Tipping the postie, the milkman if you still have one and the paperboy.

Christmas should not involve :

- Vouchers of any sort
-Educational toys devoid of noise or flashing lights
-any attempt to bring up the little baby jesus
-Advocaat. It sneaks into the shops at this time of year but must be repressed, liquid snot is not a cocktail. Ditto cadburys liquer/aero liquer and any other attempt to determine whether someone can die of a sugar overdose before alcohol poisoning
-Carol singers that take it seriously. Tuneless shambles in it for charity – yes. X_factor wannabes trilling Silent Night like someone has appropriated their funsacks for a purse – no.
-Old people dying alone of cold in front of one bar electric fires with a burst fuse. If you have old aged neighbours, go round and check on them.

By: Dylan

Dylan — Thu, 27 Nov 2008 20:43:31 +0000

Spicy winter chutney, eh? Sounds nice.

By: Drunk Country

Drunk Country — Thu, 27 Nov 2008 18:33:58 +0000

Oh, probably me. I do enjoy the genuinely warm aspects of the whole period. I like the reminiscent quality, the regression, when presents are gently torn from their wrapping with a faux-middle class-cum spendthrift respect for recycling for ‘next year’ & all that guff – hell, last year I even gave a home to two cats from rescue centres (although they may not make it to their first anniversary at Drunk Country House if the little fuckers continue to tear wallpaper off the wall in the hallway).

This year I’m kinda getting the liking for chilly mornings & dark nights fairly early. I’ve even checked the stalls in the shopping precinct in Cardiff for chestnuts to roast on the open fire in the dining room. I’m a bona fide traditinalist, in some respects, I guess. If only it would snow *sigh*

But, of course, you can stick the commercial/hoards of ramant shoppers/BBC ident aspect up its arse sideways & with force.