Five Festive Friday Favourites
Brilliant. In today’s fucking inevitable shitfest of the fucking week, it seems that I am coming down with a nasty flu just in time to go on holiday. My malingering mistress Mrs. Toad has had the indulgence of missing an entire week of work, only to return to health just in time for two weeks off, the bloody chancer. I, on the other hand, find myself brewing her particularly virulent brand of flu just in time to ruin my two week break. Minge.
We’ve neglected to really do any Christmas shopping as yet, but we actually have a tree for the first time since we’ve been together and trees sort of demand presents, so despite the fact that we generally don’t bother we may actually make an exception this year, if just to avoid being stared down by a stupid fucking fir tree draped in tat.
On the subject of presents, actually, a friend of mine asked a question once that rather amused me. You know those Americans who insist on pronouncing presentation as if it were written preesentation? Well what do they give each other at Christmas, preesents?
And, just to be even more crap, I have a festive joke for you as well, and what a special one it is:
Q: How did Luke Skywalker know what his dad was getting him for Christmas?
A: He felt his presents!
And oh how we laughed. So welcome to Friday Fives again, and please do take the opportunity to delurk and save us from ourselves. And anyone who wants to suggest next week’s five, email me at the address on the contact page. Enjoy, and happy Christmas.
1. Favourite comment of the year on Song, by Toad.
2. At what time do you hit the pub today?
3. What’s the state of your Christmas shopping?
4. What will be the defining sin of your Christmas, sloth, gluttony, covetousness, or something else?
5. What percentage of your Christmas holiday will actually be your own, to do with as you please?
Phil Ochs – No Christmas in Kentucky Thanks DC.
Tom Lehrer – A Christmas Carol
Tom Waits – Silent Night/Christmas Card From a Hooker in Minneapolis (Live)
Casiotone for the Painfully Alone – Cold White Christmas
Willard Grant Conspiracy – Christmas in Nevada