Three Thursday Thespia… No, Wait
On Sunday I make my DJ debut at the Flying Duck in Glasgow, where I have rather foolishly agreed to play records after a Men Diamler, Animal Magic Tricks, Withered Hand and Meursault gig. That’s some lineup, but I will probably spend most of it convinced that the simple task of playing one record after another will for some reason prove to be beyond me. Lets face it, DJs are fucking idiots, so if they can do it then surely to fucking god I can do it. Presumably you have to do something clever every once in a while just to prove that you are somehow better than the shuffle function on a discerningly stocked iPod, but I doubt I’ll bother.
Mrs. Toad is around this weekend for a little while, before buggering off to Australia for ten days, which is crap (the buggering off, not the being around). Still, it should help me get the Pictish Trail Toad Session finished, which would be fun. We’re going out for a meal tonight in a half-hearted attempt to spend some time together before she vanishes again, so there should be a late, drunken podcast and plenty of swearing by lunch time tomorrow.
On the subject of tomorrow, we will be collecting our beloved old Volvo (and by old I mean 1971, so yes, old) and putting her on sale and also checking on the state of repair of the Toad van – our fucking ludicrous Toad Mobile. I don’t know if I’m just excited or if I think we as big a pair of fucking idiots as you probably do. I think we’ll call her Charlene.
This week I have spent a lot of time in the workshop here at Proper Job, listening to the radio. A lot of it has centred around the state of the banks in the UK and particluarly the spectacular chutzpah of Fred Goodwin, who had the gall to run one of the world’s largest banks into the ground, and then resign on a £650k per year pension. It’s a bit like being caught shagging someone’s wife and asking for a cup of tea and a biscuit before they throw you out. The problem really is that for all the discussion about all this bollocks, the whole debate really boils down to this:
Why did it happen? Because the decisions are made by blinkered, avaricious cunts with no regard for anything other than enriching themselves in a spectacular fashion. Why aren’t you doing anything about it? Because they still have all the fucking money – what’s left of it anyway – so there’s really fuck all we can do because the whores still have us by the short and curlies. End. Of. Story.
So, on that perky little note, this is the weekly opportunity for random participation and nonsense. Please don’t feel you have to be a comedy genius, or contribute all that much, but do take this opportunity to de-lurk and say hello, particularly if it’s for the first time.
1. Favourite excuse for the credit crunch made by some snivelling financial type.
2. Worst ‘poor meal’ you ever had.
3. Something you’re going to spend money on this weekend which you really shouldn’t.
4. Canny saving trick you recently discovered, making you all pleased with yourself.
5. Cheapest thing you’ve ever bought which should be really expensive.
Dan Bern & the IJBC – Crow (IJBC stands for International Jewish Banking Conspiracy, so it is slightly fitting!)
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Richmond Fontaine – $87 and a Guilty Consience That Gets Worse the Longer I Go
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The Welcome Wagon – Sold! To the Nice Rich Man
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1. All the feigned surprise really, really got my fucking goat. And using their colossal fuckups to try and dodge out of refunding us our usurious bank charges is also fucking annoying. No no no, just because you’ve fucked up on other things, doesn’t let you off for being thieving, grasping cunts all these years. And we know you can afford the refund. Why? BECAUSE WE JUST GAVE YOU THE FUCKING MONEY TO, THAT’S WHY. Cunts.
2. Well when Mrs. Toad and I first met in 1991 we spent an evening sitting on upturned boxes in her family’s shell of a kitchen, eating tuna out of the tin. Actually, maybe that was the best, but erm… never mind.
3. MOT for the Toad Mobile? More beer? No, the worst is definitely the Toad Mobile. What fools we are.
4. I still can’t get over how crucial pirated software is. The world would barely function without it.
5. The price of my cars, in order:
£400, £550, £650, £600, £400, £850. So not exactly excessive, then. This one was four figures for the first time in my life, but this one was Mrs. Toad’s choice.
1. The irresponsible consumer, who has incomprehensibly allowed himself to become debt-ridden because YOU approved him for loans and credit cards that he couldn’t fucking afford.
2. It was called “American chop suey,” and they served it in the University dining hall when I was an undergraduate. I’ve no fucking idea what was in it, but they would continue to serve it every single day until it was gone, which would take weeks. It got so bad that I began shamelessly ingratiating myself to my Jewish friends in order to get fed out of the kosher deli.
3. Buying new shoes for the boys. If bare feet was good enough for Huckleberry fucking Finn, why not for these little pussies?
4. Saving on condoms by feverishly masturbating.
5. My wife’s love.
“My wife’s love.”
She doesn’t love you, you just pay the bills.
Sap.
Four was a much better answer.
My wife’s continued presence, then?
That works.
Resigned indifference, I call it, but the effect is much the same, so who cares.
1. I would like to think that one of the bastards somewhere has said ‘It’s a correction’ because the market, of course, is God and cannot be or do wrong.
2. I made some skate poached with lime and chillies and things, and then, being good and always wanting to use up leftovers, I took the broth with me to work the next day in a flask. It was the most astonishingly lip and cheek puckeringly sour and foul thing I’ve ever tasted.
3. *shrug* books videos cds, maybe. Nothing terribly exciting.
4. Buying packs of chicken wings instead of a chicken – they’re about a third of the price but you get a big tray of the things, enough to roast up about half of them into a sticky lemony garlicky mess and to make stock with the bones and scraps of them along with the other half. When money was short, when I was a pgce student about ten years ago, I used to buy chicken carcasses for pennies, the rib and back bit after the chicken stall had cut everything else off to sell separately, and make stock with them.
5. One of the places in town mispriced some dvd boxsets so I got some bits of six feet under and buffy for about a fifth of the list price (and the price they were on for in the other places around town).
1. its all gordon browns fault.
2. i had to eat cauliflower cheese once which i hate more than any food in the world because it was the only thing going.the desperate need to eat overpowered the vomit inducing taste of cauliflower.
3. ska.
4. dont want to go to jail.
5. my tv licence…no wait thats not right is it?
1. They’re all hopeless wankers. I tuned out months ago. Although I was faintly amused this morning to hear that Robert Peston had won an award from the Royal Television Society for reporting on the credit crunch, when his sinister scaremongering was largely responsible for it, the immense cock.
2. I once made an omelette for three people using one egg, last night I had half a tin of cold baked beans and a bread roll. Today is payday.
3. A new Wales rugby shirt.
4. Yellow stickers in Asda. They rock my world.
5. Probably something boring like my computer.
“4. Saving on condoms by feverishly masturbating.”
Is there another approach?
I had no idea Ian Fleming was so racy.
1. A bad boy did it and ran away. (Or words to that effect.)
2. A friend at university once made vodka porridge. It tastes worse than it sounds.
3. Some albums. Some DVDs. Some gig tickets. Its pay day.
4. I’ve discovered you can get into more gigs without paying if you just join as many bands as is humanly possible.
5. My lucky jumper. It was only a pound. And is lucky.
“A friend at university once made vodka porridge. It tastes worse than it sounds”
The mind fucking boggles.
How did your friend address the problem of the alcohlic content of the vodka evaporating as the porridge was heated?
Exactly – travesty!
Actually, thinking about it, if you were to contruct a still over the top of the porridge pan, you could conceivably produce an additional distillation of porridge-flavoured vodka.
That problem remains unaddressed.
No one has taken it upon themselves to carry on his work.
Yet.
Porridge. Flavoured. Vodka. 8-|
what?
8 to 1?
8.1?
8.1 out of 10?
What?
Is that after his tragic death when a porridge-based moonshine still exploded in his kitchen?
Bart, it is a pair of goggly eyes and a straight mouth which indicates worry and consternation. That should be obvious.
It’s Eight minus line
If you have eight apples, and you take line away, what are you left with?
You’re left with porridge flavoured fucking vodka, that’s what.
What about if you put the apples in the porridge?
Would you get cider?
Yes, Dylan.
Yes – you’d get cider.
Don’t, Bart, that’s mean. He’ll try it, and then he’ll die.
And then you’ll feel bad.
I hope.
No, really – I think that’s how they make White Star.
“It is a favourite amongst the homeless and students, due to its low price, neutral taste and high alcohol content.”
1. It wisnae me, it was him an aw’
2. Lettuce for breakfast
3. Not sure. Doves tickets bought yesterday. Doubt I’ll get out this weekend to buy anything.
4. Having a baby. My bank account has benefited as I haven’t been out boozing for ages!
5. a pram. e-bay baby. e-bay. didn’t realise how expensive brand new ones were. i reckon my bro is right, shopping trolley, bit of roof insulation is all you really need.
Cider making trivia fact of the day:
I bet you didn’t know cider was made from cheese!
When they crush the apples into a coarse pulp prior to pressing, they shape the pulp into large flat wheels called cheeses.
The apple cheeses are then placed into the cider press, and the juice is collected beneath as it’s squeezed out of the cheese.
Why don’t you try that at home yourselves, children?
I just posted that so I could say…..what the fuck??????????????????
1. When I was in the US in January my idiot colleague (think Hunter from Hill Street Blues mixed with the Eagle from The Muppets) told me his accountant blamed the war in Iraq. Here’s how he got there: the war put pressure on oil resources & the price went up. The US public panic-bought in bulk then stopped buying when that caused prices to peak. Add-on & associated products peaked & THEN nose-dived in tandem/ quick succession. A knock on effect was felt across the service & logistical/delivery industries. All associated business was a/effected, food & essential goods prices rose; bank loans (individual & corporate) increased, which ran parallel with an increase in defaulted payments. Then came the job losses, spending decreased, borrowing froze with a savings interest rate freefall, etc & so on until there was nothing but a swirling mess of debt. That may sound logical, but you can’t blame the war per se.
2. Back in the early/mid-90s, when I worked for the Govt. as a diplomatic liaison officer, & was on the shittiest wage imaginable, I found myself jumping from one short term rent lease to another. This drained the funds considerably. To save money, at the start of each week I’d buy large quantities of, then cook, then freeze a mixture of rice, baked beans & black pepper. I’d then take a lump of it from the freezer every day & microwave it at lunchtime in the office. Almost 5 months that wen ton. My bowels moved frequently & freely, I lost a substantial amount of weight & I went a bit loopy for a while. Not recommended.
3. Not sure I shouldn’t be spending money on it, but TWoTH & I are orf to Birmingham to see & interview Jennie Abrahamson & Ane Brun; we’re staying at their hotel choice which is the Malmaison, what is well ‘spensive.
4. Give an amount of cash per month (I’ve decided this year it’s £100pm) to Linda in the factory, who puts in a bank account & you can’t touch it or withdraw it until 2nd week of December. Been doing it for 3 years & always enjoy the experience of being given the dosh at the end of the year.
5. In 1991/2, in Cardiff, above the Sony shop (which now doesn’t exist), next door to Forbidden Planet (where I worked) was a second hand record shop run by a really nice guy who was in the process of being divorced. His wife was fucking him over for all he was worth, so, to raise funds, he was selling his 50yr+ vinyl collection. After buying a LOT of excellent original 50s & 60s albums & chatting to him almost every lunch break for 2 months, one day he pulled me to one side & said ‘this is a gift’ before handing me a first pressing of Captain Beefheart‘s Safe As Milk. I told him I couldn’t accept something so valuable & we argued the toss for a bit until we decided I would ‘buy’ it from him for £1.00.
1. i guess my answer is sort of a reverse of the question….this article http://thescotsman.scotsman.com/scotland/Home-reports–39have-caused.5022714.jp in the Scotsman today blames the introduction of home reports in Scotland as the reason why the housing market has crashed….fucking barmy!!!!
2. once made soup with left over veg but all we had left was potatos….turned out more like potato gruel….nasty
3. the normal….drink, food, music. and girls
4. don’t spend more than you earn.
5. my rent….that what happens when you rent off a friend
1. I had absolutely no idea this would happen.
2. I once ate my flatmates shitey, back of the cupbourd food which was lemon rice mixed with baked beans covered in brown sauce topped off with a pickled egg. I had two bites, boked, then watched my flatmate polish the whole thing off describing it as “earthy”. He did this whilst waiting for his perfictly good pizza to cook.
3. A birthday present for my 7 year old neice.
4. If you don’t shave you don’t need razors.
5. One of my guitars, I don’t feel smug at all concerning I also massivly overpaid for a golden flying v, a guitar I never ever use. (Nipped out for milk with a hangover).
anyway….cn you believe that today was the first day in my life that i listened to the Boatman Calls all the way through…fucking awesome
also….i hate shity things like this
or 8-/ fucking waste of time and effort….why do people use them….if a joke is a joke you should know it’s a joke and not have to put some shity fucking symbol at the end just to stop offending people ;-p
Thursday? I think you’ll find you mean Sunday. Or else things are going to go horribly wrong when neither you nor any bands turn up.
FIVE! There’s rules here Lynsey and one is that you don’t get to talk pish until you’ve fived. Dammit, woman!
Yes, I DJd on Thursday, weren’t you there? That’s me done now too, never doing it again
(Whoops, changed it!)
(Fuck you Tom
LOLZ ROFL LMAO YFSP WKNFU FIHWBHFDK :-* )
Awww, it doesn’t know the kissy one.
Chutters, for the record this: :-* is a kissy one. You big cuddly bear you.
Three pint lunch, then Matthew?
lmfao
Nah, still a bit pissed from last night, then a two-pint lunch.
DMFAO
whatever you say doesn’t bother me….cos (according the Neil) i’m a cunt….
Gordon’s alive!!!
I just spurted water at the screen!
dancing?
It’s a double edge sword, Chutles. Some people use them because there are some people, amazingly, in 2009, who don’t understand subtle wit, or sarcasm, or irony. On the flip side, there are some people who are just witless fucks who pepper their lives, not just the internet or texts, with
s & 
s & 
s & 
s & etc. This is because they have grown up with no attention span, an education system based on shortcuts & a parental environment straight out of an Eastenders fanbase.
you askin?
That’s a monkey, that is.
This is a pig:
:@)
And this is a cunt.
1. I don’t even listen anymore. How do I sign up to have the government pay for a lavish vacation? :p
2. Oh there’s too many to choose from, I’ve always lived below the poverty line. Lots of ramen noodle dinners in my time. But I think living on two pieces of toast a day in Ireland, or one frozen meal (split between the two of us) each day in England were the lowest points…which is why we returned to America.
3. Unfortunately, I’ll only be able to pay for necessities this weekend – rent, utility bills, and hopefully some food. Been a tough year so far. :/
4. No recent revelations, but I’m a coupon clippin’, penny pinchin’, bargain shopper. I think the biggest saving trick we have is getting DVDs from the local library.
5. Our new used car.
/:-=(
That’s Hitler
@:-[–
That’s Osama
3:-o
Mad cow disease I think.
And this is a drunken product designer.
1. “people bought houses they can’t afford, and we need to help them”. Look, I bought my house at the height of the market — Oct 2005 — because we needed an f-ing house. We made a mortgage we could afford (barely). We pay it. End of story. People who committed to mortgages they COULDN’T afford deserve what they’re getting. And asking me to bail them out (I’m an american) for poor math skills and buying based on wishiful thinking is a mess.
2. I actually lived on a single bowl of broccoli stolen from a dining hall for a week once, when I had been kicked out of college but was crashing in the dorms under the table. It was pretty rank by the end of the week. Adding old ketchup from a dorm fridge didn’t help.
3. My kid’s going to a birthday party; you really can’t show up without a real present. Paying cash for a stupid robot in a ball when the money’s tight feels pretty dumb.
4. Turn off the heat at night — the bedroom stays warm from body heat
Also: charge the phone and ipod at work, not home.
5. Got a 400$ car myself once; it lasted a while. But the big win was a “textile mill” I used to live near. They’d get goodwill clothes to recycle into cloth and paper; before they broke ‘em up, they’d put ‘em in a room for a week, open it Saturday mornings, and let you take all you could stuff in a giant garbage bag for a buck. Kept me in clothes for a couple of lean years. Even got a leather coat out of it — an extra three bucks at the fix-it shop for a new lining and I had a gorgeous antique trench worth a couple hunderd, easy.
Oh, I’m asking.
What are you asking Dave?
Happy to help if I can.
Just Google it, Dave.
eh?
Sorry, I seem to have caused some confusion here.
I asked if the D in DMAO was dancing
Michael responded with the correct answer of “you asking?” and not to leave him hanging I responded with “oh, I’m asking”.
I’m sorry to cause such confusion.
Drinking.
So you were asking me to dance, Dave?
1) I did like the guy who worked for Lehman brothers who actually said ‘ I told them we wouldn’t get the money back and the boss said ‘just hit your targets, let me worry about that”. Sorry bit of a ” frenzy
2)We deliberately over toasted mouldy bread, its true that you can’t see or taste the green stuff
3)it’ll be booze at stupid prices cos tequilla is always a good idea after 10pm. I need to right on the back of my hand in biro, NO TEQUILLA, mind you that would probably look like ON TEQ&*”)”A in a mirror after 10pm tomorrow so no help really.
4)Go camping with mates and walk up hills, they have no CD,DVD,T Shirt, Book or other tat shops up hills. Take your own booze and mates and hey presto..fun filled weekends…cheap.
5) A huge packet of Razorblades with one label on, went through the till no problem and I didnt notice till the next day that I had about 10 years worth of razor blades…so if anyone has a Mach 1 Gillette from 1996 still could I borrow it.Ta
why did I say right, shit no tequilla needed today
1. “We have to pay bonuses because otherwise the talent will leave..” Okay, lets examine that. Where, exactly, is the “talent” going to go that is going to give them a better wage than fucking up the global economy. Hedge funds? Fucked. Private Equity? Fucked. Property development? Fucked? Global Economy? Fucked (thanks for that lads)
There are no big titties left in town unless Primo Banker suddenly displays a flair on the left wing worthy of Man Utd’s consideration. And thats still a pay cut for many of them. Thats right, some of these these chumps were getting paid more than Giggs. Fancy that.
2. I went to the Chinese supermarket and loaded up on noodles and chicken stock. Nice when you can afford veg to put in it but a week and a half of chicken noodle soup before payday sure rankled.
3. I actively enjoy spending money on things most people would regard as useless (hency the Toad mobile). However. Even after 10 years, I still fucking hate having to buy and wear suits.
4. Do all your shopping online. Avoid shops at all costs. Clothes is a bit hit and miss but since the only ones that really need to fit these days are the dreaded suits, thats okay. Online groceries is good too because you don’t end up with all the impulse buys that you pull bemusedly into the light when you get home and unpack the shopping. Shit like those puddings in a can that you boil and tins of spam to “just remind yourself what it tastes like”. Vile. The answer is always vile.
5. I got the lab desk in our house for half price from a place that was closing down. Its probably our most important piece of furniture (apart from the rotary mirror ball of course)
I’ve just realised Dav and Michael just have their own little conversations and stitch them into the overall tapestry of the thread at random intervals.
If you ignore everybody else and just read Dav and Michael’s comments, it all makes sense.
Cogstar, do you mean the original Gillette Sensor before they embarked on all this Mach 3 nonsense? If so, hell of a razor. Hell of a razor.
A classic of the genre, if you will.
what?
Try living across the street from a 24 hour hypermarket.
You find yourself rolling home pissed at 3am and suddenly supermarket shopping becomes the funnest recreational experience known to man.
Then you wake up in the morning and wonder why you’ve nothing to eat in the house except rollmop herrings, tinned spaghetti with Scooby Doo characters on the label and a selection pack of savoury dips.
What’s a razor?
i’m sure your lass will educate you very soon
That used t happen to us when we lived near the all night bakery in Leith Dylan.
Why we saw fit to buy bags of iced fancies, a strawberry tart, an eccles cake and several eclairs (not mentioning the pies we scoffed while still pissed) is beyond me.
For how many miles?
Quite right Dylan it was the Sensor, the other great thing about this was I was actually happy shaving every morning knowing I had got one over of the Retail mob.
Mrs T – online shopping is all very well…sober. Its just as bad as sending emails out in the middle of the night.
You just know both of them are gonna come right back and bite you on the arse at some point.
Matthew I don’t know if you’ve had a worst drunken email sent in the middle of the night on the Friday list, its like waking up in the wrong place but with evidence. And this retrieve email stuff never works.
sorry i just put that in to throw dylan. i have nothing constructive to add so until i do. goodbye.
hypermarket?? jesus christ.
that all night bakery down leith walk is pish, even where you’re off your head it is shite
Sorry about that, we see each other a lot, have each others phone numbers, pass facebook messages to and fro and even send the odd email yet here we are cluttering up this lovely blog with, what can only be referred to as, complete driveling shite. For this I apologise.
didn’t notice that it was any more driveling than the shite we come up with
Well it’s bigger than a supermarket if you ask me.
No one has anyone constructive to add, Michael, that’s the point! Don’t go..
Nice one, Cogstar, up the revolution and all that. You see, now, to me, the head on a Mach 3 is just too damned wide. Honestly, if that thing was any wider, it would be patrolling the Arabian Gulf under the name HMS Ark Royal and they’d landing Harrier fucking Jump Jets on the fucker. The original Sensor was slim and streamlined and ideal for getting in between all those pesky facial features. The Mach 3 blade’s so big you have to be careful not to shave your fucking nose off!
That all night bakery does rock though, doesn’t it Mrs T?
I was joking about Dav and Michael!
I love reading their pish and drivel!
Just because I didn’t put a poxy smiley on the fucking post!
actually it’s not. think you’ll find its still a supermarket.
Maybe Superermarket would be more clear.
Those dear sweet chaps at the Lib Dems have just come up with a bill to remove all the intrusive cuntyness that Labour have imposed over the last few years
sign up and pass it on before Jacqui Smith can DNA test your skidmarks for sweetcorn via satellite:
http://freedom.libdems.org.uk/petition/
You’re still a supermarket.
Can I just reiterate that I really do enjoy Dav and Michael’s random additions here.
It was just an observation made with fondness not frustration.. I didn’t mean to upset anyone..
Nah, don’t be sorry. Fuck ‘em. Fuck them and their stupid beards.
And their dancing.
dont worry dylan im not upset although dav might be because he gets upset really easily like last week he got really upset with himself after telling me that he played the accordion better than me. now this is not something thats going to break my heart especially since the fact is were both shite at the accordion.
sorry that last post was from me but my girlfriend was using this computer last. and matthew you love our beards and our dancing.
No, Toad, this is a cunt:
http://www.tmz.com/2009/02/15/bale-wants-peter-griffin-off-the-f-king-set/
I know it’s a bit old now, but the Family Guy inserts are very funny – especially the one right at the end; genius.
1) dunno if this counts, but years ago, when all of the banks were still ‘rich’, they treated me like a beggar when I politely asked them to extend my credit line … which they never wanted to do in their self-indulgent behaviour … they ruled, you know: and they showed it to me every fucking time I was there. Nowadays the situation has changed and they kiss my feet only to win me as a new customer … but now I’m the one to grin and say ‘No, I don’t think so … your competitor has the better conditions for me …’
2)Irish Stew: everywhere in Ireland. Cheap, but disgusting. Guaranteed.
3)I’m drinking cheap red wine whilst typing this … and plan to drink way more until I go to bed.
4) I second the baby – thought from a previous comment: we adopted a little child last week and I’m too tired to even think of going to the pub … not that I had the time to do so at all …
5) bought Nirvana’s ‘Bleach’ – album in the green-marbled pressing on Sub Pop Records back in 1989 when it first came out for a tenner. Now worth some 150 quid or so. Trade anyone?
cunts
“Now worth some 150 quid or so. Trade anyone?”
Mrs. Toad?
1. I’m bored with the credit crunch…
2. A fried egg covered in grated cheese and mashed about with a stick while it’s still in the pan. An omelette for the really really really lazy. Does wonders for your self-esteem.
3. public bloody transport.
4. Starting a music blog: now people send me albums for free! How cool is that!
5. I guess it’d be my current flat. God bless hooker neighbours for driving the rent down.
That sounds quite tasty actually…
(Not the hooker neighbours, obviously, although come to think of it… mmmm, crusty beaver!)
She certainly sounds (through the wall) like value for money, so I guess it fits quite well with this “economy” thread…
Doesn’t make me any less anxious when opening the front door, however. I never know if it’s gonna be the postman with a parcel or a grey-haired (slicked back, obviously), leather-jacket-clad, nervous quinquagenarian who’s got the address wrong…
Sausage time!
1) Taxes are too high. In America. Really? ::pause:: Really?
2) When I first moved to Boston I was so poor I would put on Hotel AV clothes and sneak into the staff canteen. Bad for the body and the soul.
3) Sodding dog medication! Little money sink bastards. Worth it though.
4) Coupons. You can save a fortune with those things.
5) Downloading freeware plugins for audio is great. They sound peculiar but can do nice things.
Excuse me, but did you truly say “crusty beaver”? Fuck sake. I need to go brush my teeth.
I need to go brush my teeth — I really don’t think she’d mind if you were a little tardy, Cf&Bf. Afterall, you’re not planning on kissing it (or her) are you?
Well look at his avatar: I’d say his intentions are pretty obvious…
Yes, you’re right Tom. Perhaps he’ll be going for the ‘all you can eat’ buffet option.
Which, is to say, the $15 Friday Night Special.
I posted and came back to fine it was lost. Still, it was all less than scintillating.
So to summarize.
1) The recession happened because Democrats want to raise taxes. ::pause:: In America. Really? ::pause:: Really?
3) When I first moved to Boston I was so poor I used to put on my cooperate AV clothes and sneak into hotels and eat in the staff canteen. Bad for the body and the soul.
Also Adam, I lived next to an fella who fought in the war, and he said that the he used to save money was that if he and his wife had skate (quite common in Hull) his wife made him a skate bone sandwhich the next day. The bones are not only edible, they are delicious. With salt butter and chilli. Old people have all the best obscure information.
NAR – Rates are low, it’s a great time to buy!
4 items in the house, no money. Bread, pork and beans, an onion and Johnny Walker red.
Lotion
Spending the weekend saving money on condoms
(the savings here should more than negate my frivolous spending on question #3)
Warmoth telecaster. You could beat on that neck and it always stays in tune.
The cheapest thing that you will ever get is a vote. You can’t sell it on eBay. You can’t swap it for food. You can’t use it to top up your moble phone so that you can vote for Pop Idol. You can’t trade it for the latest issue of Rock Band. So maybe its pretty useless in an immediate sense.
But you’ve got it. For now. Use it.
I vote for Mrs Toad.
Although the cheapest thing in the world is a hotel room for whatever’s left of the night at 3am when your mate’s working night reception.
You heard it here first folks. Mrs. Toad for Prime Minister. Would make question time more productive. Far less ‘with respect’ and ‘the honourable’.
More “Oi, wanker! Fuck right off!”
Christ almighty the mind fucking boggles.
you’ve all missed a great night…..drunk
i just got home and you all seem to be talking shite as usual. oh how good it feels to be drunk.
You bunch of inebriated fannies.
(Alright, alright, guilty as well.)
I was also awake at 2am….but not drunk….
And to think that this filth-hound will soon be gracing the airwaves of greater Cincinnati. Never thought I’d see the day.
1. Mine is slightly different – a friend who works in a rural McD’s ‘restaurant’ was told by his snivelly boss – who incidentally is the owner’s son – that the reason his shifts had been cut this week was due to the ‘global economic crisis’. What bollocks.
2. Two minute noodles. Every night for two weeks.
3. Plonk.
4. Um…. don’t go anywhere, but remain holed up in your room like a hermit.
5. My laptop.
DC’s first show on WOXY.com is about to start!
…And he name-dropped the Toad right at the start.
Listening now, but I missed the Toad bit. Get in there DC. If anyone wants to see how cool the Edinburgh music scene is, read this feature in the Scotsman. I want to have Andrew Eaton’s babies, although I’ve no idea why he used my middle name. Oh well, who cares, brilliant stuff!
Great show from DC and TWoTH.
Even without swearing he still managed to sound like a filthy dirty old man.
Some things just ooze from a person’s pores.
I’m not sure I could even count the number of things that ooze from DC’s pores on an average day. Might be an edifying experiment for one with a scientific turn of mind, though. In any event, another distinguished performance indeed.
No-one needs to count that, C&B. That’s just horrible.
Happy St Davids Day Dylan! Are you eating leeks, and is that question rasist?
Cheers, Dav..
No leeks unfortunately, yesterday. No welsh cakes either, come to think of it. Most depressing.
thats cos you live in Scotland!!!
What are Welsh cakes?
They’re made with a scone batter containing raisins, rolled flat to be about a centimetre thick and roughly the diameter of a Rich Tea biscuit, baked on a flat cast iron griddle over a medium flame.
Delicious served warm, dusted with sugar, with a nice cup of tea. Simple, homely and wonderful!
It’s turned into Song, By Delia again hasn’t it? Matthew will be pleased.
Sounds good, I’m sure Matthew won’t mind and anywhoo, while the toads away and all that.
Welsh cakes….mmmmmnnnn…from Swansea market.
Oi, Dyran, there was nothing Filthy Dirty Old Man, about what I said last Saturday!
This Saturday, however, is a whole different basket of fish (which, as a remark, sounds innocuous enough but has an undertone of hairy unwashed fanny about it.