Five Fuck Offs For Sweden
Yeah, Sweden, fuck you with your pleasant way of life and beautiful scenery, and legendary ladyfolk and being good at hockey and all that shit.
Well, no, that’s not what I meant by Fuck You, Sweden. I’m sure it’s very nice there. What I meant was to express was incredible frustration at that fact that for some inexplicable fucking reason, my computer thinks I am in Sweden. There must be an obvious setting somewhere, but for something so simple, I can’t seem to find it.
Who cares, I hear you say, but actually it’s quite annoying. I can go straight to Google UK, for example, but when I type anything into that little search box on the top right of the browser window, it gives me the results in Swedish, and tries to send me to Swedish websites (no, not that sort of Swedish website). This is merely annoying, but in writing yesterday’s Mimicking Birds post, I was actually sent to MySpace Sweden, for fuck’s sake.
Erm, anyway, I am writing this from the 6am train up from London after last night’s chat with Sony which was, erm, pleasant. I am not entirely certain quite what was achieved, exactly, and I am wary of becoming part of the circle of mutual backscratching which is an inevitability for an insider in any industry. But it was a fun evening, and it was really nice to meet Jamila, Tim and Brendan. And it was really nice for Brendan to let me crash at his house. As good as it was to see people at a big label in the UK start taking bloggers seriously, however, and as nice an evening as it was, I can’t help but feel that once we start going out for drinks on a major label tab we become part of the problem for the music industry, not part of the solution.
That picture at the top of the page was contributed by my friend Dev from New York, incidentally. He does Blog Fresh Radio, which seems like it might be in the process of becoming Hype Machine radio, but I’m not entirely certain. I’ll ask him next time we speak. But he’s indeed right, this week’s five are going to be ‘mint’. Gosh I’m street.
1. Oddest flavour of ice cream you’ve seen.
2. Name of a herb which sounds quite cool – just as a word, not the comestible itself.
3. Is frozen yoghurt any good? Better than ice cream? Just different?
4. Toppings – evil or splendid.
5. An ice cream-based anecdote from your childhood.
These five songs are all promo mp3s from recently or imminently released albums. Isn’t that nice. Actually, the St. Vincent one sounds rather good, I think. And My Latest Novel – can’t wait for that one.
My Latest Novel – All In All In All is All
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Eulogies – The Fight (I’ve Come to Like)
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1. On the last series of the great british menu one of the chefs put olive flavoured ice cream on his dish. I found that odd.
2. Mugwort http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Artemisia_vulgaris
3. frozen yoghurt = pointless
4. toppings = evil, all you need is visochi’s ice cream from broughty ferry. if you taste that you’d know you don’t need toppings.
5. I don’t have any. Really. I don’t. Nothing happened apart from the eating of ice cream.
Now that I’ve posted all that I can say – how great is the My Latest Novel tune!! loving it. Can’t wait for the album.
1. they are all odd (apart from vanilla)
2. samphire
3. shite
4. only one topping is allowed and thats monkey’s blood.
5. bit of a Pete(r)Doherty type tale. Once when i was around 19, my best buddy and i broke into another friends house and and ate a whole tub of ice cream and put the empty container back in the freezer once we’d finish.
1. Gorgonzola. It was in Italy and so, strictly speaking, gelati, rather than ice-cream but, nonetheless, very odd.
2. Yarrow, perhaps; it has a noble sound. Tough call though: I like the sound of anything redolent of a medieval apothecary.
3. Just different. Frozen yoghurt reminds me of childhood, when I used to get little tubs of yoghurt (the standard, non-frozen variety), frozen in the freezer, packed with my school lunch. By midday, they would have (a) kept the rest of my lunch chilled; and (b) defrosted to a pleasantly ice-cream-like consistency. As someone generally disallowed junk food, that was pretty much as good as it got.
4. All too frequently evil (sickly sweet syrups, hundreds-and-thousands, etc.) and apparently even dangerous. If the ice-cream is good, toppings are redundant.
5. Errr, see 3.
The Sweden thing is due to National Express trains buying their WiFi in from a Swedish supplier.
Just sit back and enjoy the difference!
1. Plain ice cream is oddly pleasing if you can get it. Not vanilla flavour, mind. Literally ‘nothing’ flavour, just frozen cream. Mmmm…
2. Lemon Thyme. “Hey everyone! It’s lemon time!”
3. If it tastes good get fired in.
4. Depends if the ice cream needs it. You can melt Curly Wurly bars in the microwave to make a tasty hot choc topping.
5. I’ve been to the Ben & Jerry’s factory in Vermont. That was nice. But I was 26 so I’m not sure if the ‘childhood’ thing applies.
1. There’s a late night ice cream place in Oxford that does petition flavours of ice cream if you can get enough signatures. There was bacon and egg once, but the weirdest had to be Marmite flavour. It was so foul that you got an entire litre of nice flavoured ice cream for free if you managed a whole scoop. Legend has it that nobody got that far.
2. Marjoram
3. I can’t remember the last time I went anywhere near it. Good for pretending you’re on a diet, apparently.
4. Eurgh, Lakrits. Bleurgh. Aforementioned Oxford place had a wonderful array though, and so definitely thumbs up. Those little nutty bits on dark chocolate – yum!
5. One of my favourite days ever was when we kayaked across Lake Windermere with “Mad Mick” to the ice cream shop that dips that squeezy tube ice cream into melted dark chocolate. Then my sister got scared that she might had bird poo on her hands from climbing out of the kayak, and I got two ice creams
That My Latest Novel song is awesome! I can tell that when the new album is out I’m going to need another period of music related rehab to get it off the stereo.
Back to mouse brain scooping…Fridays are rubbish!
1. Bacon and Eggs ice cream – I think that chap Blumenthal makes it. Never tasted it but it sure sounds odd.
2. Herb(ie) Hancock
3. Frozen Yoghurt is fine I suppose, but I’m not that fussed either way.
4. Toppings are an unnecessary evil – why spoil a tasty ice cream with hundreds and thousands. I dislike hundreds and thousands.
5. When I was but a child, I engorged, during one particular evening meal, a) boiled spinach to be strong like Popeye (which I genuinely believed would work), with a side order of scrambled eggs, b) as a digestif, a packet of Apple Chewits and then c) for pudding, a bowl of pistachio ice cream (which is also a pretty weird flavour).
I was then summarily sick whilst watching an episode of Dallas. It made an almighty stinking mess of me and my mum’s new sofa purchase. Let it be known that bile and sticky-half-digested-Eggy-Apple Chewits are not an ideal combo.
This is hard. I can’t say I have very strong feelings about ice cream.
1. I seem to recall at an ice cream place in Vancouver they had seaweed flavour.
2. I want to say frankincense, but turns out that is a resin (thanks wikipedia).
3. What’s wrong with frozen yogurt? I always get confused with the whole sherbet vs. sorbet issue. There is a difference apparently. (That’ll be another wikipedia trip)
4. Toppings are great. It’s the melding of different consistencies. Delicious. Relatedly, my favourite ice cream is cookie dough ’cause you get the little balls of dough. Mmm.
5. My dad used to take me for ice cream after hockey practice, and I’d always get a root beer float. Happy times.
1. Some Spanish holiday resort had over 200 flavours but the one labelled ‘Green’ won it for me. We couldn’t work out what it actually was.
2. Dill..mainly because I liked the spinning round dog
3. It’s a shocker
4. If the ice cream is good enough then what’s the point. If its ‘Thatchers Squirty Stuff’ then top it to high heaven. Fizzy bits are best
5. Only that I loved the inbuilt anti greedy kid bomb that ice cream have. Eat too much in one go and watch the headpain hit. excellent invention.
1. Salmon.
2. Lemon verbena.
3. Frozen yogurt is good, NOT better than ice cream.
4. Toppings are splendid if they are crushed up Reese’s Peanut Butter Cups; evil otherwise.
5. 400 insane screech monkeys from a local university lab escaped and hurled feces and ice cream at my car.
i had an epic tube journey home; a guy was really excited that (apparently) the world record for number of Ferrero Rochers eaten in one minute is SIX.
dunno if you’ve seen this: http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/technology/8003799.stm or not but i very much doubt small fry like us are going to have any input at all in what the IFPI and labels choose to do in the foreseeable future. a shame really. was definitely a fun night though! hopefully going to organise a much bigger meet for bloggers sometime soon.
Jamila Fucking Dance – dunno if there is anybody else around to inform you of the Friday rule (the one and only rule) which is that you have to post your friday fives before any other random nonsense
the my latest novel song is indeed very fine…..just aswell it didn’t sound like what it did when i saw them live a few months ago…..just a wall of noise and pish
This is off topic but I’ve already posted so it matters not:
when are the Avalanche Records (Edinburgh) sessions happening tomorrow, does anyone know? I was hoping to go, be entertained and buy some new music.
Thanks
everyone has gone to homegame TT
Nearly everyone… Sniff.
1. Black Pepper – in a small town in Northern Italy.
2. Marjoram.
3. Screw frozen yoghurt. Ice cream all the way.
4. Crushed nuts rock. That horrible sticky red sauce is evil.
5. I had no childhood. I was born aged 22. Weird but true.
Matthew, I’m so glad to hear that you actually did crash at mine. I can’r remember a fucking thing after the Prince of Wales! Woke up partially clothed and had horrible visions of you wandering the streets on your own till 6:30. My apologies that I never got to say goodbye. Had a great night though. Was a pleasure to meet you and the others. Can’t wait to do it again. Maybe a trip to Edinburgh should be the next meet up?
I learned a fair bit in truth and I’ve no worries about accepting major labels tab money. It won’t change a thing that I post and I’m sure it won’t change a thing that you post. Is it any differnt to accepting guest lists and pre-release promos really?
i just heard a pin drop
1. the Sheraton served me toffee ice cream with sea salt. it was at the end of a wannabe alacarte disaster
2. Ginseng – sounds pretty and is good for you
3. i have only had the kind where you turn your fridge up too high and is accidental, but nice. Not better
4. Chocolate sauce on everything please
5. My friend once cooked dinner for me and desert was ice cream with a penguin bar on it. It was tasty.
Is this where the homegame envy lives…?
1) Ginger. They gave it to me in a posh restaurant to cleanse my palate. Didn’t want to tell them that what the gin was for. It was odd. And cleansing.
2) Baaaaysil. I’d never heard of it before I moved to America but they put it in everything. And correct my pronunciation I might add. Every time. EVERY time. 6 years and I still never tire of it. Honestly, being corrected every time I say the name of this very common herb, without exception, for six years has never once irritated me. Not once. Ever. At all. Also there’s a very obvious ‘h’ at the start of the word ‘herb’. It’s right there for everyone to see. I pronounce it, largely due to my upbringing and because it really is very obvious. And yet for six years, every single time I say the word, I am corrected. Every time. Without fail. I can be in my kitchen alone and say the word and some blasted American will phone me to say “You mean uuuuurb?”. And I don’t. I don’t mean ‘uuuuurb’. I mean herb. Because that is how my brain has been trained to say that word. And it won’t change. Even if I am corrected every time I say the word herb for anther 50 years. So collectively America might as well just learn to live with it. Please.
3) I think it’s wrong for me, and yet respect other peoples right to enjoy it if it makes them happy.
4) See above. There is a place near me and that folds toppings and sauces into the ice cream. I always feel it is just to distract from the fact their ice cream is not very good. None the less it seems to make people happy.
5) I fall over a lot. Up stair, down stair, on pavements. My parents were always stunned that I could go arse over tit down a flight of stair and the ice cream cone in my hand would remain intact. It’s a gift. Everyone has a gift, and this is mine.
Also when I was in primary school I used to get out about two hours before the rest of my family. My Mum would sneak away from work and take me ice cream without telling my brother or Dad. It was fun.
homegame? never heard of it
TT, Hundred and Thousands are just wax. They don’t actually taste of anything. Any flavour in them comes from the ice cream or human being power of suggestion. All of which adds up to your point being absolutely spot on. Hundreds and Thousands are dreadful.
I didn’t know that about hundreds and thousands Ben, thanks for the tip off though. That makes them even less appealing.
This Homegame of which Chutters speaks is an inconvenience when you’re looking to get some info – I tried to find out from the unclenet and, alas, even it failed me.
There are some photos on the Guardan website of last year’s Homegame and in the last photo of the 10 shots you can clearly see Bart at the front of the FOUND gig.
last year was great, this year will be pish
have a good birthday tomorrow tom!
cheers pal
Ben, Eddie Izzard on the subject of US/UK pronunciation of herbs is well worth watching if you haven’t seen it already.
Yes, Ben, and of course Thames is most naturally pronounced “Tems.” And do you pronounce the “h” at the beginning of “hour” as well? “Heir”? “Honourable”? Don’t even get me started on Cholmondeley. Chum-ley? WTF? And how you get from Marjoribanks to Marchbanks is simply beyond me.
Oh, and East Anglia, someone seems to have stolen your syllables. Wymondham (Wind-um), Costessey (Cossy), Hunstanton (Hunston), and Happisburgh (Hays-bruh). That’s just plain laziness, that is.
Sorry, I’m bitter about ‘Omegame and I just need to vent.
C&B
Istory, my dear friend is part of woo are. Ence I wrote this is ow my brain i was trained to pronounce these words, and hatributed it to my hupbringing. The differences bother me less the hunhending pointing hout that I say thing diffherently
Sorry, I’m bitter because shometimes I miss Heurope.
Even Sweden…
And the ‘h’ in Thames actually has a very subtle effect on the pronunciation. It is designed to soften the ‘t’ and place emphasis on the end of the vowel sound of the ‘a’.
But I’ll give you Marjoribanks. And Ealing. I don’t mean I’ll allow you to pronounce Ealing the way you want to, I’m just saying you can have it. It’s shite.
TPM!!!!
QWB!
Oh of course. Three post mentalism. Slow. In. The. Up. Take.
So I just learned that Mick Harvey has quit the Bad Seeds. Guess it happened back in January, but I’ve only just learned about it. This can’t be good news, although the brilliant Ed Kuepper (of The Saints and Laughing Clowns) is taking over on guitar, at least for a while. Still, the Bad Seeds without Mick Harvey? Hard to imagine.
1. I think I once heard of a savoury ice cream, though no idea what it was…
2. Lemon Verbena is very cool sounding…
3. Just different, IMHO. there’s toom for both
4. Toppings – splendid.
5. Think I’m going to have to pass on this one, I’m afraid.
Mick Harvey has quit the Bad Seeds
I hadn’t realised!! oh no! i think people might have said that when Blixar left after so long, but i am inclined to think Mick’s might have been a pivitol contribution…
1. Sesquicentennial Swirl (green frosting and cake pieces). It’s maybe not an odd flavor, but it is a silly name.
2. Savory. Does it actually make things more savory?
3. No good, due to childhood trauma. See #5.
4. Generally evil. Unless they are involved in soft serve, in which case they can only enhance the end product.
5. My mother was convinced for most of my childhood that I was lactose intolerant – mostly because she is and she has an imperfect grasp on genetics. Therefore, I had to eat frozen yogurt instead. With my escape from adolescent status came all the dairy products I could shove into my gullet.
Ben, I feel your pain in reverse. Just ask Shonagh how I pronounce ‘risotto.’
1. Trout (Iron Chef)
2. Anise
3. Different not better?
4. Splendid.
5. Ice cream from childhood brings two words to mind. “Heavenly Hash”
A bit late but I suppose it would be just plain rude of me not contribute this week after those generous “props”. Mint.
1. Olive Oil. Served by American celeb chef (and friend to rock stars) Mario Batali. Sounds horrible but is shockingly good!
2. Lemongrass. Just to add to the myriad “lemon” herbs thus far. I wonder if you can smoke lemongrass..?
3. Fine. Apparently good for digestion (the bacteria).
4. Toppings? Yes please.
5. It’s an American tradition that Little League Baseball games, when won, are followed by a trip to the Dairy Queen or other local ice cream place. For us, it was Red’s Dairy Freeze.
1. Wasabi, loved/hated it…. just too odd to be so hot/cold!
2. Bergamot
3. Horrid
4. Shut yer mouth, they’re garbage.
5. Sneaking spoonfuls of Breyer’s Neopolitian out of the container just so… so as to not alert Daddy that I had been stealing “his” ice cream whilst he was asleep! You had to get equal, minuscule amounts of vanilla, strawberry AND chocolate, you see!
Now Matthew, when will we hear details of this meeting wherein you soaked up the cock (tails) of SONY?
1. Cardamom in ice cream. Given that cardamom tastes vaguely of soap, I don’t get it.
2. Borage. Sounds like a mistake.
3. No idea, never tried it.
4. Erm, the raspberry sauce that has never so much as been introduced to a raspberry that gets swirled on a 99 flake.
5. Ben, you and Mum are a pair of conniving fuckers.
Tart – Sony stuff isn’t going to be written up until early next week, honestly. There’s not a lot of computer access in Anstruther, and I am there for the music, not to sit in an internet cafe, so it may have to wait I’m afraid.
1. Rice flavoured, which was a massive mistake in a Japanese airport restaurant.
2. Bergamot, it like the lead male character in some amusingly dated period piece (and because I like copying Tart).
3. No.
4. Evil, so so sweet
5. Ummm… I was convinced that you got the different flavours by feeding that fruit/confectionary to the cows for a while.
As to the Sony meet up, it is always nice to try and get your points across in person rather than in emails/rants which may well get ‘lost in the post’. To see that everyone working at the majors aren’t pure evil, as they are often portrayed, is useful as well.
Although my music tastes don’t reflect much of what Sony has on its roster at the moment, knowing that they are starting to take blogs more seriously and are coming around from the idea that we are a homogeneous sect of pirates trying to destroy the music business is a step in the right direction. How much they got out of the meet I’m curious about though.
I know what you mean about trying to steer clear of what could be inside group collusion, but it didn’t really feel like niche blogs and the majors are ever going to see truly eye to eye. We are after different audiences for a start.
Ah, thanks Tim (snuggle a bit closer for a clearer copy) and well that’s what I was wondering…. how much do they either (a) see that our audiences differ, or (b) seek to maintain that difference?
I had the oddest dream about the meeting. They all walked in and said to you “Well, now what offer have you got from Virgin? Oh?! You’ve not been clever enough to negotiate a salary from them yet? Well then we’ll pay you …” and then I woke up. Ha!
Any coincidence that the meeting came a few days or hours before the Pirate Bay court decision? (I can never get the damn time zone thing correct)
When I saw that headline, I though it was going to be a Pirate Bay-related rant, but hey. I don’t know if there’s any connection between the Sony meet (sorry I couldn’t make it folks, though I am interested i Jamila’s bloggers meet thing…) and the Swedish ruling, but the timing is interesting.
Anyway, before I’m lynched
1. I think I may have had chilli ice-cream one. Who knows.
2. Basil
3. S’alright. No. Yes.
4. Depends. Hard to beat the old 99
5. I was never allowed ice cream as a kid. It’s satanic, apparently.
The timing was a few hours before the Pirate Bay decision (but maybe after the leak?). It did come up.
I don’t see it making any difference whatsoever. The Pirate Bay website/trackers will not be going anywhere anytime soon, and even if they did something else will pop up. It always has so far and I don’t see that changing.
More excited by that My Latest Novel track than by anything on the first album – which was none the less quite good.
1. Peter Stringfellow’s olive oil ice cream on Celebrity Come Dine With Me. Ha ha – they said it tasted like vanilla ice cream with olive oil. Which is what it was. Then his sink collapsed.
2. Its maybe not a herb. But Rocket. Amazing name for a leaf.
3. Its a mistake resulting from getting freezer and fridge mixed up after drunken trip to asda prompted by ill fated health kick.
4. Olive oil. For the boaks.
5. Was walking along the Thames with my dad after looking at Tower of London (too expensive to go in dammit). Ice cream fell from cone and ninja reflexes appear from nowhere and i catch it in other hand, 3 inches from the ground. Big fat bearded american says “HEY!!! NICE CATCH!!!”. Damn rizzle.
The My Latest Novel album is damn good. First Time I’ve ever liked anything by them.
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