Five Funks on Friday

Sick Kid

I am currently off work sick, which sucks donkey balls.  Even worse than being sick of course is actually having to phone in sick.  I get into a conundrum – I actually do feel like shit, but I don’t sound like I do at all, so how the hell do I convey the fact that I am actually telling the truth over the phone.  In one sense I feel that seeing as I really am ill I shouldn’t have to try, and then risk sounding deliberately perky, which seems like the wrong approach, but then trying to actually sound ill probably sounds forced and even less convincing.  So I think I generally just end up sounding indecisive, which is crap.  Maybe from now on I should aim to only contract illnesses which leave an obvious audible signature in my voice, like bronchitis or something like that.

It would be easier if you could just tell the person who answers the phone and bugger off back to bed of course, but we aren’t allowed to do that, we actually have to speak to the director in charge of whatever project we’re working on and explain to them, which has the rather unnerving effect of making you feel like a naughty schoolboy.  I’m thirty-three years old for fuck’s sake, why do I feel like I’ve been caught pissing in the plant pots?  Gah!

Anyway, there is going to have to be much delurking today as I am going to be asleep or in bed being a moaning baby for most of the day I am afraid.  As you can tell from recent threads, we’re a really nice, friendly bunch here and the chat, whilst obscure, is always the very epitome of good-natured.

It’s nice outisde too, and I don’t even have the gumption to go and sit in the garden with a nice cup of tea.  Moan moan moan.

1. Most unbelievable but genuine excuse you’ve ever had to make for missing work.
2. Worst thing about being off work sick.
3. Best thing about being off work sick.
4. Off sick munchie menu.
5. Bed or couch, for sleeping it off?

Alabama 3 – Too Sick to Pray

The Sick Bed of Cuchuliann

The Smiths – Still Ill

Grandaddy – Pull the Curtains

Eels – Hospital Food

Fucking lurgy.

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