Toadcast #68 – The Leprecast
Me and the missus are rambling away together on this one. It’s largely new music, bookended by a couple of more well-known things. We Invent a new term – a weird combination of food and sex called culiniungus. We offend the Irish and the Scots. In fact, we are as offensively and predictably us as you could imagine.
We were out and totally smashed at the Broken Records gig at the Bowery yesterday, followed by some hot Sneaky Pete’s action. There are some disastrously embarrassing pictures here, if you want to point and laugh. The gig was amazing. I knew a group like Broken Records would be amazing in a small space like that, and so it proved.
I had to do some very pointed Standing Up though, which was fucking annoying. What the fuck is it with people, sitting down at fucking gigs? If the room’s empty that’s one thing, but the room was full, people were on tiptoes up the back, and this shower of cunts insisted on sitting on their fucking arses down the front, protecting a meter and a half of empty floor space between them and the band. So, as Mr. Discreetandtactful, I went and stood in front of them. Fuckwits. The band did get everyone on their feet after a song or two, which was a fucking relief, but honestly… it’s rock ‘n’ roll bitches, get up off your fucking hippy folk arseholes and stop acting like the Chipping Sodbury Chapter of the National Union of Knitting Champions. It’s not, to paraphrase a friend of mine, the fucking Teddy Bears’ Picnic.
This delightful little anecdote does have a darker side, however. Some lass tugged on my sleeve to ask me to sit down during the first song, and I attempted to politely but firmly say no thank you. Unfortunately I may have succeeded more at the latter than the former, and ended up just being rude to the woman. Who was very pregnant. Well done me. Picking fights with pregnant women isn’t really all that clever, is it. So, er, sorry pregnant lady, I didn’t mean to be quite so terse, nor did I mean to imply that you should just stop moaning about your baby and stand up. But then, you can’t really expect to sit two metres back from the stage and object to anyone standing in front of you either, because that’s just silly.
Oh, and we met Peej, a reader from New York, who was in town for the week and said hello. He was a really nice chap, so why he reads this fucking site is a mystery, to be honest, but it was brilliant of him to say hello, and then to put up with our drunken stumbling later on as well. Sometimes I love teh internetz. Not times like this of course, but sometimes.
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1. Joy Zipper – Dosed & Became Invisible (01.40)
2. Love Like Fire – William (08.37)
3. Rock Plaza Central – O Lord, How Many are My Foes (13.17)
4. Animal Magic Tricks & Neil Pennycook (17.24)
5. Ambulances – Last Old Fiver (24.45)
6. King Creosote – Camels Swapped for Wives (27.11)
7. Jesus H. Foxx – I’m Half the Man You Were (33.51)
8. God Help the Girl – Act of the Apostle (44.15)
9. The Limes – Dead Furniture (46.47)
10. The Pogues – Night Train to Lorca (58.06)
The whole sitting down at gigs culture at The Bowery is ridiculous, well done sir.
seconded!
Well it makes sense for twenty people in a room listening to hushed alt-folk. But honestly, people, at Broken Records? They’re noisy.
Yeah, I had a feeling I hadn’t been clear enough after I posted that. I’m talking about the really busy shows like the one referred to in the original post; Broken Records, Frightened Rabbit, etc.
Yeah I was one of the people on their tiptoes. I couldn’t even see how much space there was in between the stage and the first wave of standers. I actually thought there was like a lower down bit with the tables for a while, which to reach one would have to descend some stairs… Turns out folk were just on their arse though
And well done Matthew for bullying them into adding a slow song into the mix!
It was actually Euan from the Kays Lavelle, Trampoline and the Steinberg Principle who said it first – I just agreed with him. I think when you’re playing a lot of gigs where people don’t know you and may or may not be that interested you can easily end up playing the louder stuff just to keep their attention, but they’re well enough known now that I don’t think that’s necessary anymore. Besides, some of their slower songs are fucking amazing.
I can’t believe no one has commented on those gawd-awful pictures Dylan’s took.
Note to self: never, ever go out drinking with this lot!
P.S. podcast rambling was very lucid indeed and quite enjoyable, regardless of the ethnic slurs and anti-americanism, which is completely deserved. I do love it when the Mrs. gets going on something xoxo
That’s mean Tart.
They’re brilliant photos!
I don’t recall if I mentioned this when I was up at the Bowery, but I reckon it could do with a really unsubtle sign (i.e. large black letters) on the facing wall above the stage reading:
YOU’RE HERE TO SEE THE BAND. NO ONE PAID TO LISTEN TO YOUR CONVERSATION. PLEASE SHUT UP.
I saw this in a bar/vnue in the US (& also as a photo of a sign on a blog post somewhere) & it certainly did the trick.
i don’t mind people sitting down at gigs, but it is just the complete lack of awareness that these individuals had of the people standing behind them…..selfish little fucks!!!
i disagree with the slow song nonsense…..
the photos go from the sublime (mainly the ones with me in them) to the bizarre (mainly the ones that i’m not in)
DC spot on…..on friday before the BR gig, i went to see Wintersleep, it was packed, and i ended up standing beside these 3 dicks who talked all the way through the gig…..i was one breath away from asking them ‘Hey where will you be this time next friday? cos i want to give you another £10 so i can keep on listening to your inane fucking drivel’ i didn’t cos i don’t have the balls to be that rude….plus the band started playing my fave song….
We’re in Bristol right now & last night we saw Dan Michaelson & The Coastguards & The Broken Family Band @ the Thekla- TWoTH & I were at opposite sides of the ‘hull’/room, but either side she had some Welsh tarts yammering on like they were in the toilets discussing period cramps & anal fingering the bouncers, & behind me I had some dozy cunt from Tonypandy drunkenly responding (more for his mates than anyone around him) to anything the Broken Family singer said. Trouble was, it was very very unfunny. In that extraordinarily unfunny way, where the drunker you get the funnier you believe even breathing is. But his pissed mates thought it was hilarious. Glassing someone at a gig for this kind of behaviour – can you label that self-defence?
Unfortunately I was sandwiched between a gaggle of other chatty fucks (girly girls who were essentially waiting for the disco to start at 10.30pm), so my main attention/focus was on stepping on their ankles & laddering their tights & dripping beer down the backs of their minge basin high dresses to make it look like they’d pissed themselves. Childishness 1 – Dignity 0.
TWoTH, on the other hand, told (i.e. barked & snarled at) her lot to move the fuck away from her if they were uninterested in what was happening up front. I believe they did just that. TWoTH can build a serious a head of steaming venom when the stars align in the right pattern…
I love TWoTH <3 last night at a Samantha Crain gig I ended up moving to the way back for the second band of the evening, and chatted and danced with a 6’2 Sikh (oh butchered that spelling sorry). What can I say? No one was behind us and no one in front but the soundman. And he was hopeless anyway. When the shit hits the fan, sometimes ya just gotta move away.
who/what the fuck is TWoTH?
Matthew – were you at the sick kids thing today, or am I just assuming that every beardy indie guy is you since I started reading this?
Ravie,
I implore you, don’t get on the wrong side of TWoTH.
TWoTH is lovely
Ravie, TWotH is the acronym used for DC’s missus. It stands for The Woman of the House. Personally I find this term somewhat derogatory, but then, I refer to Mrs. Toad as the wench and as my midget companion, so I think there may be some sort of saying involving glass houses which might come into play here.
And I’m afraid I wasn’t at sick kids, no.
As for that sign, Ian from Broken Records texted me a picture of a sign like that from the Luminaire in London a few months back, if I recall.
scott from frightened rabbit fame did a very nice cover of small stretch of land yesterday at sick kids sunday. it was a legendary moment.
i’m just listening to this right now and want to say….that Love Like Fire song is fucking amazing
ah, that explains so much.
On the subject of masochism, my mate once had a girlfriend, upon referring to her as his bird, told him that she found the term offensive and asked him not to call her that.
When asked what she’d rather he introduce her as she suggested ‘bint’… And so Andy and his bint went on.
Fuck happened to my comment?
Erm, it hasn’t made it as far as here, I don’t think. No sign of it in the spam queue and I haven’t deleted anything.
user error most likely, try using both hands darlin’
I shall reiterate what my earlier comment said (don’t know where it went):
The Woman of the House. Personally I find this term somewhat derogatory – really? Seriously? It is a tongue-in-cheek joke… as is frequently flagged on the show. & pretty much the joke is generally on me
The fact that we’re both ‘in on it’, & is played up to by TWoTH, takes it very much out of the ‘derogatory’ realm for me. Or are we treading the murky waters of being too close to our own shit that we can’t smell it? I don’t buy that, to be frank, but it is an interesting point to be discussed: what is offensive to one person but not to another when the person committing said offense is the butt of his/her own joke?
Mate, calm down. I call my wife a foul-tempered old whore for Christ’s sake, how can I possibly say anything about anyone else’s nicknames? I was being more than just slightly tongue in cheek!
As far as I’m concerned the matter of whether a pet name is offensive is entirely between the people being called it and doing the calling, so if TWotH has no problem with it, then whose business is it?
Perfectly calm, I was simply surprised that it could be considered derogatory. My last point/question remains, however, as it is an interesting subject.
& it’s not a pet name per se — there’s a genuine reason why she is referred to as anything but her real name; her’s is quite recognizable within the ‘industry’ she works in (Wales is quite insular & every fucker knows every fucker) & so she made a conscious decision she didn’t want it made known that she was doing the show. Through necessity, more than anything else, TWoTH was born.
Perhaps you should’ve picked “She Who Must Be Obeyed.” SWMBO doesn’t have the same ring to it as TWoTH, though.
“foul tempered old whore”? you called me?
Not when your nuts were within kicking distance you didn’t.
I love pet names. It shows a healthy marriage. My favorites are “useless sack of shit” and “sperm donor.”
Hmmm ones in use at Chez Tart are “cowbitchwhore” and well, you already know about “meat pocket”
As for why TWoTH could be construed as degrogatory, surely you’re just fem-baiting me! Altho I am perfectly aware that it’s not used in that manner.
xoxo,
Tart
We like skankybitchwhore here at Toad Hall but cowbitchwhore has a certain charm.
Minging bitch seems to have been affectionately adopted. Only if said in a screeching high-pitched voice, though. It loses the effect otherwise.
I think the fact that she indulges a 10yr+ joke about her allegedly having ‘funny (as in Ha Ha and Weird) tits’ (& now broadcast around the world, no less) with utter indifference as to what anyone may think says it all for me, Tart. I certainly wouldn’t do it if she thought it was offensive or degrading. She often laughs about what the hell people must think she looks like given the lurid pictures I have painted over the last few years on air. It certainly helps to actually know what she looks & acts like in real life, but then, if everyone knew the reality, the joke would no longer be viable so we’d pick on something else for no other reason than having a giggle to ourselves.
The horrible irony is everytime she has a go at me about something on air it’s generally nail on head & there’s nothing I can do to deny it, because it’s true. She always gets the last laugh, fair play. I just end up sounding like a borderline/annoying “pub bloke” tit.
Perhaps you should’ve picked “She Who Must Be Obeyed.” SWMBO doesn’t have the same ring to it as TWoTH, though.
That’s getting dangerously close to a cartoon lion &/or a rather crass colonial racism popular in the ’70s. Would have worled, methinks. Especially as Welsh words can start with an ‘S’ & a ‘W’.
“One night in Stinky’s”
Not gonna lie to you mate… we’ve been called far worse! x
Oh, interesting.
I read it as ‘the lepercast’. And I only just realised I was wrong, having skipped over most of the speechy bits.
What do you mean, did that really merit a post?