A very late entry but I was big chilled……oh Orbital were good though. oh and never mention the Smokie thing to anyone ever…in fact eat the computer

fuck ya’s

I was, of course, too young to be in pubs &, therefore, to be queued in some inebriated state waiting eagerly to sink my face into the shaved curls of spit-grilled puke fuel. But had I been old enough I am sure I aould have indulged in said ritual, also.

About 4 years ago, while old enough & in an inebriated queuing state, my friends were all ordering kee-babs &, during another drunken 5 minutes being told I don’t know what I’m missing, I decided to try some of this delicacy.

Now, I became a vegetarian at 14 because from a very early age I realised I didn’t like the taste of fish or meat. At 14 I was tall enough to reach the cooker & make my own food so I chose to opt out of the flesh. That said, & having tried all manner of sea & soil based carcasses in my pre-vegetarian past to try & find something that may enjoy chewing, I was always up for trying stuff I’d not eaten before for the very same reason: I might, indeed, like it &, therefore, as my firneds helpfully accused, realsie what I’d been missing out on.

I tried a few mouthfuls of your 3am stomach lining, with & without the healthy option of salad + green chillies, & I have to say it was fucking disgusting. How on Christ’s tit can you eat such nasty?

Okay, I fully realise vast quantities of uncontrollably consumed alcohol play a huge part in the decision making leading up to the purchase, not to mention the deadeding of your taste buds, but fucking very much the hell.

You dirty, dirty bastards.

There’s one half way up Leith Walk that does a pretty tidy chicken doner.

You ever thought that a chicken doner is actually quite a healthy meal? Grilled meat, heaps of salad, small-ish portion of carbs in proportion to everything else. I’m buying that!