The Toad! Talking Pish! On the Internet! Imagine!
I know, it’s a shocking thought, isn’t it – the idea of me spouting tedious garbage on the World Wide Superhighways in the faint expectation that anyone might take the time to listen. Anyhow, recently I have been involved in two such enterprises, both eminently listenable, but for entirely different reasons.
Firstly, I made my debut appearance on Hype Machine Radio this month, talking about Julian Plenti. Given that Hype Radio is supposed to be at least loosely related to their charts I think the chances of my making regular appearances on this thing are pretty slim, although I’d love the chance to go on and slag off The XX, who are fucking dismal, but I’m not sure that faux-hipster sneering is quite what they intend to be about so that chance probably won’t come my way.
Anyhow, the episode I am on is September 2009, which is currently at the top of this page, here. My friend Dev who runs Hype Radio and comments here from time to time was drinking whisky the other night and was not impressed with his tipple. He emailed me this plea for help:
I am currently sipping a single malt from Islay, the maker is Bowmore (clearly a mass producer posing as a small producer) and it kinda sucks. Wine is really my thing these days (or, you know, beer, or margarita, or gin & tonic, of course, depending on the occasion) but I have been every so slowly endeavo(u)ring to develop my Scotch palette over the years… and this stuff sucks. You have any favorites?
My personal favourite is Laphroaig, but I am so new to whisky that I’m in no position to offer advice or suggestions at all, so I thought I might throw this one open to the readers. And Dev is a nice guy, so don’t offering the poor man cleaning products just for fun. Suggestions in the comments, please.
And secondly, do you all listen to the Contrast Podcast? Well if you don’t, you should. Every week for the last 180-plus weeks Tim has put together a podcast assembled from songs and intros emailed in from music people around the world, all centred on an ever-changing theme.
I chipped in two weeks ago on the topic of darts, not because I know any songs about darts, but because I know one which mentions them somewhat tangentially and also contains the stupendous line ‘Is your child hyperactive, or is he perhaps a twat?’ which is, in its supremely brilliant delivery as much as its rather brutally hilarious content, one of the funniest things I have ever heard in a song anywhere, ever.
Half Man Half Biscuit – Surging Out of Convalescence
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Nick Cave & the Bad Seeds – Rye Whisky (I know, I know, he doesn’t want a rye, but I like this song so fuck off.)
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Being a fairly seasoned Whisk(e)y guzzler, I would recommend Dev trying BULLEIT BOURBON Kentucky Straight Bourbon Whiskey. Yes, yes I know it’s not Whisk(e)y, or Scotchish, per se, but it’s a fucking delicious tipple.
Laphroaig, yes. But The Macallan 18 yr. is a special, special beverage. A bit dear, though, so 12 yr. may have to do.
Now if it’s bourbon you want, Maker’s Mark is the first place to go. Never had Bulleit. Is this the Welsh one, DC?
Try Bladnoch whisky, it’s a tiny tiny wee distillery in galloway and make probably less single malt as most distilleries spill. The funny thing about the whole shabang is that it used to be owned by a company who either went bust or didn’t have the patience to see reward for their efforts and therefore lay empty for about 8 years before being taken over by a family who either do 10yr malts or else a really random selection (18yr, 24yr…) I think they basically decide what cask their going to open in the morning and get bottling. Brilliant.
Nobody wants fucking bourbon here, would you two stop it.
Shit, I sounded like a fanny giving pretentious chat about booze on the internet didn’t I?
Tch tch. So what did you say about Julian Plenti? This is the Interpol guy right?
Laphroiag smells like TCP… I know a bit about whiskey, but can’t stand the stuff so i feel like a book read expert. You need water though, so the books say…
But Dav, you were expressly invited to do so. And it’s only pretentious if you were pretending.
Cheers C&B, I wasn’t pretending at all, it’s tasty stuff so my conscience is clear. Ace.
Talisker and Highland Park are my favourites.
I wouldn’t clean the toilet with Bowmore.
Laphroaig does indeed smell rotten, which is why I was rather surprised when it tasted nice.
C&B – the Julian Plenti album is surprisingly good, given the paucity of the last Interpol record. It’s as if Banks had all sorts of good ideas bubbling away which were suppressed at the expense of writing an Interpol album.
Dav – pretensh away old chap.
Lovely whisky = Caol Ila 12 Yr Old
Magic.
That’s also from Islay, is it not?
I enjoyed some Laphroaig just the other night.
I like Makers’ Mark as well but we’re not talking about bourbon though are we?
If we had been I would have mentioned the failed attempt to take publicity photographs of myself and Mr Toad standing awkwardly in our own clothes modelling enjoyment of a delicious bulleit bourbon and lemonade.
I happen to know SmileyJon has a love of the sweet nectar sauce, and probably will have something to contribute opinion-wise.
I second Dylan’s vote for Talisker. It might be that your man isn’t into the peatiness of the Islay malts, so he might want to go the opposite direction and try a Speyside. They tend to be sweeter and milder, closer to bourbon. Aberlour is my favorite among those. Overall though, it doesn’t get better than Glemorangie Nectar D’Or. Drool.
Glenmorangie. Oops.
I love Bowmore, but it’s too peaty for most folk. If Dav doesn’t like it, it’s unlikely he’s going to fall for a Laphroaig or the like … try a mellower one like Isle of Jura (good stunt whisky), or just go for a Speyside. Sweeter and smoother.
Yep – pretty much what Sarah just said!
Dev is the man asking the questions, Dav is the ginger chappie answering them. It’s important you keep your vowels right around here.
Mmmmmm Ardbeg – petey.
I’m much more of a gin geek than I am a whisky one though.
Highland Park for me please.
I can’t be the only one to notice how much more productive you are with a dodgy back. Don’t let real job know or they’ll be shoving you down staircases.
If in the States and on the East Coast, this is the place to go for Scottish whisky, a bar in Baltimore:
http://www.abs.net/~scotchjh/
The measures are about two fingers for a “half” shot so best be thirsty. Baltimores finest apart from giant crabcakes in this place http://www.faidleyscrabcakes.com/index.html which is also fucking awesome. Nice town Baltimore. Scary as fuck, but nice.
Actually, all those reviews were written last week, but lying in bed with the laptop means that reviewing music is about the only thing I actually can do at the moment. That would be hard to explain to them without sounding like a liar – that sitting at a desk is fucking crippling, but lying in bed with my legs crooked is about the only comfortable thing I can do – but it is actually the truth.
Isle of Jura is a lovely dram (and a great island). Older the better. Also, if it’s speyside you’re after then it has to be The Balvenie for me.
Who needs opiates when you have a god bottle of malt? Get better soon old chap.
Matthew matthew matthew, you know you are contractually bound to refer all whisky matters to the Mule, he of nearly ten years booze trade experience, who used to run a whisky shop on the Royal Mile. I take it the pain made you delirious.
Now I never met a malt whisky I didn’t like, except for Glen Moray, which is the exception which proves the rule. My job has allowed me to take 1000s of whiskies from all over the world (including Sweden, Wales and New Zealand!) and my favourite has long been the Ardbeg Uigeadail.
However, as many a canny punter above has pointed out, Islay whiskies may not be the thing for your friend. So go with the Mortlach 16 year old for something muscular but smooth (in my own image) or Linkwood 12 for something altogether more delicate (in your image).
Failing that, Balvenie can do no wrong.
As for Maker’s Mark, I a huge Bourbon fan, but this stuff ain’t great. My friend once described it as being “the whiskey equivalent of the fat bird that everyone shags but nobody admits to”. Genius.
Another friend of mine once said “I like my whisky like my women – from anywhere near Inverness, 12 years old at most and heavily diluted”, but I think he is in jail now.
I see slagging off ‘The third Album’ has become a theme here at Song by Toad.
I tsk, loudly.
Has it? Which others have recently suffered? And do you actually like that third Interpol record?
I heard that but ’12 years old and mixed up with coke’. Which is a little more offensive to both women and whiskey.
All right Mule. I’m taking notes. A man with such misogynistic friends must surely know his booze. What alternative bourbon do you recommend?
Mrs. Toad does it again! I live a mere 90 minutes from Baltimore, and I’ve been to Fells Point 4 or 5 times, yet I’ve never noticed Birds of a Feather. I shall make the pilgrimage in your honor one day.
Ardbeg or Springbank are particular favourites of mine. However, the Canadian whiskey Crown Royal is suprisingly good for a blend, sadly I cant find it anywhere in this country.
Evan Williams bourbon is great, as is Bookers bourbon. http://www.internetwines.com/mb311504.html
Be careful with the Bookers though – the last batch we had was 63.5%abv and my face went numb after a few doubles.
Also, I had the pleasure of meeting Julian Van Winkle, the grandson of distillery founder Rip Van Winkle (seriously, you can’t make this shit up) and he let us try his wares, which were wonderful. The 23 year old was past it though as the heat in Kentucky means bourbon ages 3 or 4 times quicker than Scotch whisky.
Also, rye whisky is well worth trying, Sazerak (now owned by Buffalo Trace) 18 year old is a treat.
Booze geek? Moi? Non.
Oh, I forgot Elijah Craig, 12 and 18, both wonderful. He was a preacher man, like most in the early booze trade. Now it is those who drink too much who do the preaching.
Jesus. Fucking. Christ.
Sorry, I’ll stop.
Right now.
yawn……just try 2-3 whiskey’s, you don’t need to be any more descriptive than, can i have a lowland, spay, highland (which includes the northern islands) or Islay and see what you like and investigate further, the cool kids here will try and tell you what to like (just like they do with music, The XX album is a perfectly good album btw) but just let your taste buds show you the way…..
oh by the way there are some awesome bourbons out there….just try and stay away from Jack and coke.
Cheers and love!
wtf is a Scotch palette?
If you ever get stuck in North Wales I can recommend the Penderyn Single Malt although getting back to the campsite can be tricky.
Fuck’s sake, Chutters, Dev specifically asked for recommendations and favourites. I’m never understood how anyone so buttock-clenchingly Right On half the time can be so thunderously boorish the rest of it.
Actually I’ve had Bowmore once (though I was fairly inebriated at the time) and I thought it was alright- was smooth, if a little peaty.
Im not a huge fan of Island whiskies- more of a Highland and Speyside man tbh. Laphroaig is a bit of a Marmite whisky- personally I can’t stand it but I have friends who love it.
For a standard tipple Macallan hits the spot- I’ve got a bottle of Edradour Cask Strength as my “special occasion” tipple at the moment.
Glenrothes is also a good find- tried it as a “malt of the month” when up in Banchory and liked it so much I had to treat myself to a bottle!
Me and Sarah C. would get on well, I suspect.
Some of the Glenmorangie variations, if perhaps looked down upon by stuffy whisky traditionalists, are quite seductively delicious.
I was sure Mule must have done a TPM back there somewhere, but he didn’t.
No, he distributed his mentalism liberally across many isolated posts. Many lengthy, detailed, isolated posts.
Oh and the Glenmorangie distillery tour is a great day out if you’re ever up that way. It really is a breathtakingly beautiful corner of the world they’ve found for themselves up there.
Interestingly, you may be aware the distillery’s tag line refers to the “sixteen men of Tain” who make the whisky. Well, this isn’t some historical flight of fancy adapted by the marketing department. To this day just sixteen people produce Glenmorangie.
The only additions they taken on in recent times are a secretary in the office and a lady to conduct the guided tours.
You can’t compete with the Mule for obsessive mentalism Dylan, so you can stop trying right now.
I like a whisky, yup. Cheers Fez.
For newcomers to the lubberly stuff, I suggest Old Pulteney. They talk some mince about it tasting of the sea cos it’s from Wick, but it’s real selling point is that it’s immensely drinkable and not at all harsh.
I drank Laphroaig before I knew what iodine smelled like. Now I work in hospitals, and they all smell like Laphroaig. Marvellous. My favourite Islay used to be Caol Ila, though Bruichladdich 3D has probably overtaken it recently. That’s the one where they mixed whiskies from three different decades into the one cask, so you get the full-on peat of a younger whisky, and the mellow complexity of older one, all in the same mouthful. You could probably do this yourself, but the people next to you in the pub would hurt you.
Other favourites are Highland park 15 year old, Mortlach (the Bisto malt) and Inchgower 14 year old. Last night I was treated to a preview tasting of the new Benromach 10 year- and that was rather nice also.
I cannae abide Jura.
Damn. I’m thirsty. And what’s this I see in my hand? B.U.L.L.E.I.T.? Hmmm. Mmmm. Ooooh. Aaaah. Zzzzzzzzzzzz.
Islay Whiskey’s tend to smell rank cause of the peatyness in the water. Laphroig is probably the peatiest. Ardbeg and Lagavulin are also very peaty and other Islay malts include Caol Ila, Bunnahabhain and Bowmore. The comments about Bowmore show a lack of understanding of good whiskey. Used to go to Islay every summer on holiday. My dad’s a bit of a Whiskey nut. As is my brother. If you want a smoother drink but one that is absolutely blinding you should try Clynleish from Speyside.
I like Bunnahabhain, actually. If I’m not mistaken the distillery is on the North coast of Islay, sheltered from the prevailing weather, which apparently leads to a feint – and therefore more palettable – echo of the astringent and overpowering iodine flavour you get from the distilleries on the southern coast.
Those last two comments have the distinct whiff of Wikipedia about them.
Nah, Wikipedia would never misspell “palatable” so egregiously.
I’m not so sure about that actually!
Lagavulin, Lagavulin and Lagavulin.
I was working behind a bar once and an American looked past me at the whiskies on sale and in all honesty asked for a LaGAVerlin, as if it were French. I was so confused I had to follow his gaze before I could actually figure out what on earth the poor fellow was on about.
Er, it’s not pronounced LaGAVulin?
I was just about sure Bunnahabhain was on the North shore of Islay, but I may have referred to the Wikipedia entry briefly to corroborate that before clicking submit.
Although on Wikipedia they do locate the distillery more specifically in the North East of the island, but don’t refer to the local climate.
I suppose I could have just picked up these little nuggets of trivia from one of the many of books I’ve read on the subject, or possibly at some point during all the years I too spent working in the licensed trade.
Wikipedia also don’t make any mention of my opinion of the whisky, or Euan’s for that matter. I did look, but it’s definitely not there, maybe we both arrived at our own opinions after tasting it.
Well i like Bowmore. Its an old man tartan upholstery kind of whiskey. Tastes of the kind of old fashioned Scottish hotels that those bus tours stop at. Thats a good thing somehow. But I say go north – Highland Park, and less obviously Old Pultney from Wick. It is sweet, but it does actually have this slightly salty thing going on, like those chocolate covered pretzel you used to get. Old Pultney. Lovely. Also Jura is good, and not at all like Islay ones.
Oh man, yes, Ardbeg! Its a freak out in the mouth.
Wow.
Massive thank yous all around. I’m flattered by all the generous input (and destined to spend the next 6 months shit-housed on scotch–and quite possibly broke by the end of it). I think what I’m going to be looking for now is a little more age and a bit less peat. Thanks to all.
And maybe a Speyside. I think that was the consensus anyway!
There’s a good Scotch bar in NYC attached to the somewhat famous Keen’s Steak House where I have tried a handful of these suggestions, incl the Talisker (per Dylan and Sarah) which I do remember enjoying. Because the menu is laid out in map form, however, selections were often based on dubious criteria e.g. “Oh, the isle of Mull! I like that band Mull Historical Society… let’s try one of those.” Don’t judge.
On the subject of mis-pronunciations (LaGAVulin), in my first week up in the big city (Freshers Week 1996), I was in the old Woolpack (now Native State) and was getting a round in and my mate asked me for a Du’Chars. Now I imagines this was some sort of Trappist Belgian ale, so imagine my embarrassment when asking for it at the Bar and the barman says ‘dae ye mean Duechars? Oh the shame.
Yeah – for the record, I spent 6 years on holiday on Islay and visited pretty much every distillery due to my Dad and Brother being Whiskey fiends. Sometimes people know things and don’t need to look up Wiki.
excuse me…..just try some of the stuff……some of it is rank……some of it is lovely…..thats all part of the discovery.
Scapa is a personal fave of mine, tho you may find it little hard to locate. It is made about spit and a throw from where they make Highland Park (try the 18 yro awesome) up in Orkney, but is totally different in its taste and make-up.
btw Toad, being boorish and right-on don’t have to be exclusive of each other, in fact they are quite good bed-fellows….just calm it down young man.
p.s. Dev, if you ever find yourself over in Edinburgh, give me a shout and i’ll take you to the Scottish malt whiskey society members rooms. They are in the heart of Leith and have some amazing examples of single barrel malts, there are no names or brands, just obscure little numbers….awesomely stuffy and lovely at the same time.
Euan – it was more the ‘BBC public information programme’ phrasing that I was making fun of!
Chutters – A friend of mine once called me the most right-wing Socialist he’d ever met, so I can’t disagree.
But you could say the same about wine – ‘just try some and find what you like’ – which is fair enough, but sometimes there’s just so damn much that you need somewhere to start from. Even from my own point of view this thread has been interesting, as someone who is also just starting out with whisky.
I may not remember all the names of all the recommendations exactly, but I will remember the gist of the conversation and some of the general guidelines, and a few of the names might stick in my head. That way the next time I am faced with an unending wall of different bottles I might at least have one or two points of reference from which to begin experimenting, which is actually rather useful.
…from my own point of view this thread has been interesting, as someone who is also just starting out with whisky
Well, you could just start here like the rest of us.
Far easier than working with the stuff, tasting it, reading about it and so on.
Fuck it, there’s whole websites out there ready to copy and paste from.
Can’t recommend a trip to Islay highly enough. I went over a for a week in 2004 and stayed at Kilchoman (fantastic beach). Did the obligatory distillery tour as well as a lot of walking. Lagavulin has the best whisky, Ardbeg is the most picturesque, and Bunnahabhin/Caol Ila have the best views:
http://www.flickr.com/photos/garyjd/73279936/in/set-1574007/
Chutters (if I may), you’re on. Scotland is in my sights for 2010, if not sooner. The amount of time I’ve spent in the UK over the last 20 yrs without making it up north is just shameful, so… I will come prepared with tweed jacket packed.
Matthew, to your point, one of my favorite sayings about wine: “The definition of a good wine is simply, a wine that you like.”
Yashin, great pics. Coastline looks not unlike Maine (northeastern US) where I lived as a kid.
Jezuz, you guys should be working for the tourism board. I’m sold.
I don’t like whiskey anymore….at least, not since I painted my bathroom with it.
I don’t like whiskey anymore….at least, not since I painted my bathroom with it.
Tesco do a nice one.
Bart, you classy boy!
I now hold this thread directly responsible for an awful, awful lot of pain.
You complete bunch of bastards.
Now that you mention it, Bart, this has become one of Matthew’s favourites, after he savoured the bottle I brought to his Christmas party for him last year.
Haha! I’ve just read the review on the blog I pinched that photo from.
It would be rude of me not to provide a link to the full review, particularly as it’s pretty funny. Good work, Ms. Gin And Crumpets!
Nothing wrong with a bit of Smartprice. As far as whiskies go, I am currently drinking a glass of Bowmore. Talisker will do at a push, Tennents Super mixed with Old Spice if there really is nothing else.
God bless Ms. Gin and Crumpets, and her interesting experiments in low-budget alcohol abuse.
Gin and Crumpets is my new fave blog!
lovely…..no more this shitty music stuff
Mine too!..
G&C, you’ll be delighted to learn that you’ve picked up a bunch of new fans on the Edinburgh grassroots music scene, unfortunately they’re all mad as badgers.
Matthew will be over the moon to find a blog which is so entusiastic about gin and all its sundry accompaniments.
Well, he will be as soon as he comes down off his weapons-grade horse tranquilisers or whatever he’s on at the moment.
I’m completely delighted. As luck would have it, the Edinburgh grass roots music scene is my favourite music scene, so it’s nice we have that and horse tranquilisers in common.
Are you seriously telling me that Dylan happened to nick a picture from a random food and gin blog written by someone who just happens to have an interest in Edinburgh music? That. Is. Just. Weird.
These pills are fucking great.
Yes, Matthew.
You’ll come down off them some time around Thursday and all this will have been a hallucination!