1. Drank just too much and prattled on an awful lot about a lot of onliney stuff that I need absolute deniability on. Ran around denying everything.

5. I used to go around hoovering up the remains in ‘empty’ glasses at the staff christmas party.

1. Made my own dress, (that wasn’t the awful part… the fact that it fit like a glove was what made it bad), which was rather inappropriate for the political dinner I was arm-candy/guest for. My date was in line for nomination for some high ranking position in the local level party and well… it took him a bit longer after he eventually persuaded them that indeed he had not brought a call girl to the dinner club that night. (I do realize that it seems like I’m intentionally inserting material of a sexual nature into these friday fives, but honestly this happened!)
2. Thanksgiving dinner – Cambridge Massachusetts, enter one working-class, Marxist/Socialist waitress (me) to an entire table of Harvard professors and their wives and college-aged children. Conversation over dinner consists of going around the table and giving a brief recap of each person’s progress so far that year. Astro-physicist, audio-engineer, mathematician, college student majoring in Medieval Chinese poetry, waitress, bio-chemist, you get the picture, I’m sure.
3. Talking usually does it for me.
4. loathe and yes, she’s given up on stopping me by now.
5. Alas, like Ed, those days are gone. Thank fuck for sexual fantasies, they keep my mouth shut for at least an hour.

2) Any girlfriends have generally been far better people than I, so not too many stories there. Some female “friends” have decided to teach my parents on future sex positions that an older crowd could do and then offered to show them…

3) I actually quite like the odd scrubbing up. I suppose I never am clean shaven (only time in 4 years was for work this in fact, similarly to wearing a suit). Fully dressed up with black tie etc is strangely far more common

4. No other half at the moment, but as a general rule I don’t like people – take that how you like.

5. If I’m genuinely on good behaviour then I try to stay a couple of drinks behind, but once I get over a certain point… There are a few games to play at this point (as long as the other half’s p\rent’s are equally pished) which involve invitations to model or questioning on how to face various porn film scenes. It’s like Trivial Pursuit but regrettable.

When lawyers piss and moan about their work schedule I often reply with a swift “if it was fun they wouldn’t have to pay you so much would they?”

Well my journalist friends, if you want to be paid, then there’s a downside.

I love it when other media people purport to envy my freedom to play and write about what I want to when I want to.

It’s simple, if you wanted to receive no wages at all for your work, you too could have such freedom.

2) The misses showed up to our Gala performance pissed as proverbial, very loudly questioned to the ability of certain senior members of staff to dress themselves, and proceeded to fall asleep and snore though the first act. So I threw her out.

3) Not on purpose but I don’t shave and tend to show up from work in jeans. It is quite a scandal. Much prattling about how great life is in the arts to which I respond: “If you fancy taking a $100,000.00 pay cut I can get you a job in the arts tomorrow. Up for it?.”

4) Most are very decent actually. And the ones that aren’t I stare at blankly when they talk to me.

5) There is no one at work I need to be that sober around except when I am actually working. And I don’t drink when I’m working because it completely buggers up your ears.

Well it was from Kid A, I’m hardly surprised.

He didn’t like it very much last time.