Tonight Mrs. Toad and I are going to Glasgow and I am NOT ALLOWED to take the opportunity to go to a gig, apparently. Mean old bitch. Still, we are staying in a posh hotel for a couple of nights, before popping up to somewherenearglasgow for a wedding on Saturday. We are going to Rogano’s for oysters on Saturday lunchtime before pottering off in our suits and hoping that everyone else will be so smashed they won’t notice what a couple of dickheads we are when surrounded by large groups of people.
We love Rogano’s actually. The decor is Art Deco and absolutely brilliant, and it’s full of people who look like they’ve been coming there since their glamorous youth in the seventies. We go there, drink champagne and martini’s and eat lots of fish, and it’s brilliant. It actually makes even me feel slightly glamorous, which is no mean feat, I promise you. I just hope we are a little restrained and don’t turn up at the bloody wedding off our tits.
In other Hoping Not to Offend People news, my mother’s birthday is coming up, but she and my dad are off gallivanting somewhere exotic and mercifully hard to reach, so I will not be able to forget to send her a present this year, a little ritual we have which routinely results in floods of tears and plaintive cries of “Why do you hate me?” Every single fucking year – honestly, you’d think either I’d start remembering properly or she’d just get the fuck over it, but neither of us seems to be able to sort it out, it’s ridiculous.
Anyhow, please de-lurk and say hello. And remember to take your hipster pics of people being Incredibly Cool so you can win a vinyl copy of the Communion Compilation. Judging will be on next Friday’s Five, so find your pics and email me at songbytoad at hotmail.co.uk. In the meantime, Christ, please let the day be over so I can get a fucking pint.
1. What do you do which routinely causes family histrionics?
2. Apart from the Smiths, these songs are all starting to feel nostalgic now, despite only being about five years old. Where does current stop and nostalgia begin, for you?
3. What do you wear which makes you feel distinctly Not Like You?
4. What generally disgusting foodstuff do you love.
5. Favourite childhood boardgame.