Friday Wants Some Free Vinyl, Thank You
Welcome to this week’s Friday Fives, when we all choose the winners of the Communion Compilation Competition. Those of you interested in this sort of thing will know that this competition is to win a copy of this lovely album, featuring all sorts of alt-folk (or whatever) royalty who have performed at the eponymous London club night run by a Mumford and a Cherbourg.
So, simple, please just list your favourite hipster photo from the following five examples, which I have chosen as being the best of all the submissions I received. The top three will win a copy of the album on vinyl, and therefore be extremely pleased with themselves.
1. Erm, where do you think you are conquering, exactly?
2. Erm, shorts, manbag, some sort of peculiar shoe-related contraptions, yep, that’s just a tad too hip for me.
3. Erm, how many beads and how plunging a neckline are required to make you a total penis? Ah yes, that many.
4. This man doesn’t think he’s cool, he is cool!
5. Hey! Stand up and play yer fucking tunes you fuckers!
So, please de-lurk, have a chuckle at our chosen hipsters and then cast your votes. There will be more silly questions than that of course, but the ‘which plonker makes you laugh the most’ question is currently by far the most pressing!
1. List the above pictures in order of preferred hipsters.
2. Name your most productive hipster-finding location.
3. At which age was your hipster peak (no matter how low)?
4. Give the fucking bastard cunting Beeb are closing 6Music, what the fuck radio stations are there left to listen to?
5. Please lay out your Friday drinking strategy.
And now here are some Edinburgh bands who you might not think of as Edinburgh bands, most of whom (except Aberfeldy of course) you might not think of as being Edinburgh bands.
Aberfeldy – Tom Weir
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Idlewild – When the Ship Comes In
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Helicopter Girl – Cry Mississippi
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Finley Quaye – Ultra Stimulation
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Lucky Jim – Our Troubles End Tonight
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1. The first one is class, the rest less so
2. i don’t understand the question
3. now and always now!
4. i guess all we’re left with yours and DC’s….great!
5. leave leith at 2-ish, arrive Stoke Newington 10-ish, open a couple of bottles, nice!
1. I guess no.4, sure as hell ain’t no.3 in my book.
2. Sorry, my brain is too sleep-deprived to understand the question
3. Sorta late-teens and early twenties – I saw Pulp and Radiohead at Glastonbury in 1995 and 1997, respectively. Hey, I never said I was hip – but I did see Jeff Buckley before he died, and I semeed to be way more on top of current books and films then. What the hell happened?
4. Are they definitely closing 6Music? Bet it gets more listeners than radio 3, but, oh no, that’s the establishment, isn’t it? Better not fuck with that. Thank God for Vic Galloway, Fresh FM, yourslef and other podcasts.
5. Jump on train at five. Drink as much industrial strength coffee as possible. Arrive at parents (near peterborough -imagine Livingston, only much, MUCH worse), be told I’m talking too quickly…maybe I should fall off the wagon again…second thoughts, can’t stand the damn hangovers…
1. In order of preference: 2nd, 1st, 4th, 5th, 3rd,
2. Jammie Plaza at UCT.
3. RayBan Wayfarers, pinstriped shorts, Converse AllStars, funny haircut… that would be the day before yesterday.
4. As a non-Pom, there hasn’t been a radio station worth listening to since I was about twelve.
5. Friday night dinner at (Christian) girlfriend’s parent’s place, so I’m drinking water tonight. Might hazard a rooibos at about nine.
1. Number one. The rest come joint second. I nearly entered this competition, and glad I didn’t as I blatantly misunderstood the concept.
2. Dunno – but I reckon any bars in the vicinity of the Queen’s hall on the evening of the 9th March would be a safe bet.
3. I’ve managed to convince myself that I don’t spend enough money on clothes to be regarded as a hipster.
4. It’s genuinely the only national radio station I listen to. Boo, and indeed, hiss.
5. I’m planning on a sober weekend. Shit.
1) 4,1,5, 2, 3
2) Errrrr… Hoxton – easy but still true
3) I get called a hipster occasionally – so maybe now? I certainly would not consider myself cool, but whatever.
4) The radio station I miss most for having lost was SBN (national digital student radio with lots of new music). I’ve pretty much given up on the radio for music though. Radio 4 is still beautifully middle class and I quite like it. New music means blogs, Hypem, Last.fm and Spotify. Radio 1 and XFM do have some decent shows I suppose.
5) Still teetotal for exams/work. That makes 3 weeks now so you can all fuck off. Finish monday though, so I don’t have much of a strategy but I plan to be in a stupor until the Sunday – shouldn’t be too hard to accomplish.
4,1,5, 2, 3
Radio 1 is pishtastic fact…..
XFM is fucking pishtastic
Radio 4 rocks my world to sleep…..
dunno how to use Hypem or Lastfm
1. Where have I seen that fiery-headed chap at number three before?
2. Voodoo Rooms. Friday Night.
3. Seriously. Me?
4. Cunts!
5. Order drink. Drink drink. Repeat.
Er, number four. Not three.
…and then there’s Fresh Air
you missed a bit out from you last answer Dylan
5. Order drink. Drink drink. Repeat……then bore people standing by me with my senseless irrelevant chatter
Oh and for anyone who fancies a listen to the whole Communion compilation before buying it (or winning it here), they’re streaming the whole thing over at SoundCloud/Independent
http://www.independent.co.uk/communion/
1. #4 guy wins it on account of his ginger pride
2. My mate works on Hoxton Square where all sorts of hipster chumps frequent the bars. The Foundry on Old Street is particularly good for skinny jeans and one-speed cyclists.
3. I went to a birthday party when I was 7 dressed as Hannibal from the A-Team. I thought that was pretty cool.
4. Radio Borders, maybe? I had my issues with 6 Music (it did seem to playlist any old mediocre British band, largely ignoring all but the most popular stuff from the US), but there were some good programmes and clearly there’s not a station out there that can replace it. Radio 1 is a giant advert for sale to the highest bidder (see the U2 debacle) and Radio 2 is all about music for people who don’t like music. After being subjected to XFM’s ‘top 1000 songs’ (Back in Black , 800, Chelsea Dagger 799) at my brothers over New Year, I have no interest in listening to that shit.
5. Tonight will be my first non-drinking night this week and thanks to some particularly late gigs (Shearwater, I’m looking at you), I’m very much looking forward to a curry and nap.
…then bore people standing by me with my senseless irrelevant chatter
You don’t have to stand there.
…have a look….i don’t!!!
Hadn’t noticed either way to be honest..
1 2 (for trying so hard), 3 (for being an obvious cunt), 1 (for being hilarious), then 4 and 5.
2. Erm, just about any bar we went into in London. I forgot just how resolutely unfashionable Edinburgh is. Norf Lahndan, innit.
3. About age 25, and no, I’m not proud.
4. None. It’s all podcasts and community stations for me now, I guess.
5. Midnight, start drinking wine, write emails, record podcast. 5.30am stop and go to bed. 9am, go to work. Noon, start again with a couple of pints over lunch at the Wark. Five thirty, commence countdown to a coma which will probably descend at around ten pm.
Chutters, stop being so fucking mean. You’re acting like a playground bully, and it’s not very funny.
i’m being no bully!
1. See, when I entered number three, I thought we were just finding the biggest hipster pricks we knew. I didn’t know it had to make you laugh, because I just turn purple with rage whenever I see that guy.
4,5,1,2,3
2. World Headquarters Newcastle – A brilliant club that unfortunately attracts keffiyah-clad twats like flies to shit.
3. 18
4. I’ve only just heard about this and I want to die, simply because there are no other radio stations to listen to.
5. Drink at my house, drink at someone else’s house, go out and drink in town. Dressed as a bear.
1. List the above pictures in order of preferred hipsters.
Although I had been told i’d been entered for this competition I didn’t realise i’d be a star exibit !! So No.1 the rest can all weep in there own misery
(so do I win the lp or does the person who sent the damn picture in win?)
2. Name your most productive hipster-finding location
It certainly wasn’t the wee red last night. I’d guess it’s nowhere i’ve ever been.
3. At which age was your hipster peak (no matter how low)?
Certainly not 3 years ago by the look of that photo. Id have to say my psychobilly phase in the early 80′s following the crazy King Kurt
4. Give the fucking bastard cunting Beeb are closing 6Music, what the fuck radio stations are there left to listen to? Fuck knows !!I’ll be looking here for any good suggestions
5. Please lay out your Friday drinking strategy.
leave the office (thank fuck i’ve been inddors the last couple of days given the shit weather) at 5 and follow the in crowd to the nearest watering hole. Drink plenty and go home to sleep it off.
And for peoples information no I wasn’t at a BSP gig, I was at Belladrum and had been attacked by the “fashion Police” Honest.
Glad you found it funny Matthew.
1. Number 2, innit. Hotly followed by 4 and 3.
2. Hoxton/Shoreditch/Clerkenwell & Farringdon all prize Barley territory for sure, Camden Lock/Camden Market (I blame The Mighty Boosh & Winehouse) and unfortunately the Old Truman Brewery complex off Brick Lane which is a shame if you want to go to Rough Trade East or the Big Chill Bar. Actually that’s probably why it’s a cunt-magnet…
3. Age 29. For about all of 3 minutes last Thursday evening.
4. Vic obviously. Also, you can’t fault Janice Long on Radio 2 at silly o’clock in the morning.
5. Wine. Soon.
1) I like the Steve Tyler looking guy!
2) Any bar whose name is a single abstract word.
3) I may be the least cool person I know. I’m not sure I’ve ever been that hip.
4) I like radio 7 because of the mystery stories. Oh and CBC (Canadian BBC) has a great classical station.
5) I actually take February off drinking. It’s most unpleasant.
http://unhappyhipsters.com/
On the subject of being unbearably cool.
1. 3 is an abomination. I like 1, I’d actually want to go to a festival with him and talk about sunsets and flowers and times past.
2. San Francisco. They were fucking EVERYWHERE.
3. 25.
4. Shame about 6music. Mind you, if they move Marc Riley in the exact same format to another station, at the exact same time, I won’t be too gutted. Chances of that happening are slight. I like 6music though: I think it’s the point of the BBC. Along with the BBC Natural History Unit, which is the shit.
5. Hard liquor, asap.
1) either 2 or 3 – 2′s pants aren’t nearly tight enough, i doubt the irony of 3′s necklaces. Let’s call it a tie.
2) I live in Bushwick, Brooklyn. It’s the new hipster mecca.
3) what can i say, i may or may not have gone native.
4) as a state sider, I sympathize, we don’t have great radio stations, which is why I listen to all of my music on the internet.
5) depending on snow fall (seriously winter!) I may or may not go out… and it would be going to various bars around the lower east side.
@Adam – …and Radio 4 and BBC News for the license fee
Sam emailed me this entry:
1, This list:
First – Obviously number 2
Second – Number 5
Third – Number 1
Forth – Number 4
Fifth – Number 3 (not really hip at all)
2, When i go home to Brighton, anywhere in the lanes. It’s where they congregate.
3, I’ve never been hip, i live in hope.
4, Fucking BBC
5, Watch Johnny Flynn at Cab Vol, come away suitably mesmerized and see where the night takes me.
“I actually take February off drinking. It’s most unpleasant.”
That could be read two different ways.
But the clarity that appears with non-drinking really is unpleasant – I dislike it immensely.
1. My favourite is Bart in a parallel universe (no 4) then 2,31 & 5.
2. Easily the fuckin Old Blue Last in Shoreditch. The first time I went a few years ago for a gig there was a girl in a ball gown and huge sunglasses licking a giant lollipop. Then Jack Penate walked in wearing bermuda shorts and whistles. Twats.
3. When I lived in London circa 06 I briefly got swept up with the whole skinny jeans/delboy hat look for a few months. I am not proud. I use to drink in Amy Winehouses local. she said hello to me once.
4. Fresh Air, Vics show, glasgow podcart….Neil was just round before he headed to yours matthew, and was stating his fear of the end of 6 music. It really is shite.
5. Staying in with wine and gin.
Let me clarify. Not allowing myself to drink is a dreadful experience. I do not drink for the month of February and I hate it!
You don’t take the month of February off in order to spend the entire month drinking, then?
I’m disappointed in you, Ben.
1. 1, 4, then the rest are tied
2. When I was at uni, any small fair trade coffeeshop would do. Different version I think, though, as they were the American breed
3. I’m on a train to Norf Lahndan for the weekend wearing a blazer and customized chuck taylors. I think that time is now.
4. Dunno. I don’t listen to the radio over here. And I probably never will, now
5. Being hip
“You don’t take the month of February off in order to spend the entire month drinking, then?”
I preferred that interpretation as well.
Funny thing is Dylan, I started this tradition back when I was 22 to check that I didn’t have a very serious alcohol problem. Funny thing is that all I’ve done is prove to myself that I am fundamentally unhappy without alcohol so instead of addressing this problem and seeking help I just torture myself once a year in order to pretend I am constantly reaffirming that I don’t have a problem.
“Don’t have a drinking problem, ‘less I can’t get a drink…”
1. List the above pictures in order of preferred hipsters.
2 wins, 3 a close scond
2. Name your most productive hipster-finding location.
I work in a very unhip industry as any fule know so I would have to say that its easier for me to find blood giving stones than hipsters of a rule. However, I would have to give a shout out to Exmouth Market in London which is a lovely street with many wonderful shops and restaurants but is also the only place to go to ogle real life Nathan Barleys in action on any weekday. To those who know not of Nathan Barley
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AwTzPnWsz20&feature=related
3. At which age was your hipster peak (no matter how low)?
Theres was never a hip period. Ever.
4. Give the fucking bastard cunting Beeb are closing 6Music, what the fuck radio stations are there left to listen to?
Heart FM and Galaxy. Well, you did ask and thats what you will fucking get.
5. Please lay out your Friday drinking strategy.
Much too much, much too soon.
1. 1st = 1, 2nd = 1, 3rd = 1, not that I have a vested interest or anything..
2. It used to be the Cab about 2 – 3 years ago, we used to play “spot the King and Queen of Indie” but I’ve not been in there for yonks and anything Edinburgh has to offer is indeed poor in comparison with London and its Nathan Barley types.
3. Oh dear. I ‘ve always been tragically unhip but at Uni / just after I went through that whole grunge phase – ripped fishnets over stipey tights – check – cut-off army shorts – check – German army boots – check, oh god I even had purple hair at one stage I think.
4. Nooooh! I can’t believe it! Off to mainline Lamaq shortly while I still can…I genuinely do listen to nothing else. Well, apart from Radio 4, obviously.
5. I’m a bit torn, to be honest. All the other scientists are going to the Antiq (so consider yourself warned, people of Stockbridge) but I’ve got my book group later and as it’s only the second time I’ve been I don’t want to turn up twatted. I already distinguished myself on the first occasion by drinking far more than anyone else and then getting really animated about a book I didn’t really care about, so maybe I’ll just pop home for a restorative nap first. Before drinking shed loads of wine and then discussing the Quiet American at (ironic) volume, obviously..
Also potentially good for scenester-spotting, I have a spare ticket for the XX in Edinburgh on 9th March due to Wilf being off conquering Northern Ireland, so if anyone is interested please email me at helenUNDERLINEareUNDERLINEscientistATyahooDOTcoDOTuk
(hope no-one minds the touting btw)
1. Do people still use the term hipster? Sounds like something Thora Hird would use when her chairlift is knacked
2. The People’s Friend
3. 65?
4. Who gives a fuck. It’s not like it’s 1935
5. Promise to only have a couple. Get gubbed. Pull. Fuck. Then invigorated self-confidence subsiding into recrimination and self-loating
1. In defence of photo 5, I was in the USA so I cannot be blamed for others in SHMB’s behaviour. Though in your defence a very unfavourable review referred to us as a ‘hipster circle-jerk’. Oops.
2. Art school or probably an errors gig. Errors gigs, famed for ‘kids jumper’ disease
3. I’ve never been cool, at least I hope not.
4. Radio 4 for the sanitized win. For music, Radio Scotland, once you get used to scotch snaps and harsh north of Scotland accents.
5. Tonight is special as getting to see viking moses and golden ghost in someone’s house so I shall be drinking with style. Wait, does that make me a hipster?
1. they’re all shit.
2. It’s called the Hive.
3. 7
4. what’s a ‘radio station’?
5. drink, shout, fall on floor.
1. they’re all shit.
2. It’s called the Hive.
3. 7
4. what’s a ‘radio station’?
5. drink, shout, fall on floor.
ok, safari. twice is fine.
1. Number 4 is definitely the coolest! He offers hope to the Ginger-Bearded League (of which I am Treasurer…) that no matter how pale and freckled, you too can be cool! And after him….1,5, and I don’t think I can comment on the other two…
2. My office. Evolution is fucking cool, and anyone that disagrees is wrong.
3. When I’m 85. Because then I’ll genuinely not care, as opposed to pretending not to care.
4. Radio 4. But we’re fucked music-wise, aren’t we?
5. Defensive
Blame your browser all you like, Matthew, but That’s still a TPM.
naw naw
Okay, counting the votes, with 5 points being awarded to a top vote, then four then three etc, these are the final scores for the hipster vinyl loveathon:
1: 60 points
2: 53
3: 35
4: 52
5: 37
I will email the relevant lucky persons – thanks to everyone else, and sorry, there’s only three to give away.