Trustifarian Fannying About, or Actual Heartache?
I get cynical about a lot of things, not least of which is the large number of new shops which seem to open up on certain streets and then inevitably shut down within about six to eight months. Particularly in places like St. Stephen’s Street in Edinburgh there seems to be an endless supply of shitty little tat shops, which open with champagne and strawberries, and to whose opening all sorts of ladies wot lunch totter along to sup on the stairs and congratulate Jocasta or Poppy or whoever the fucking hell it is taking their turn pouring money down the fucking drain this particular quarter.
When I get really cynical, I walk past these shops as they open and think things like ‘what, a shop dedicated to nothing but organic babyfood and bits of wooden shit which only adults think pass for acceptable toys – have you considered any sort of market analysis beyond sitting around at a coffee morning with your fucking braying yahoo friends and everyone telling you how mahhhhvellous it’s going to be? Well? Have you?’ And then the fucking place inevitably goes broke in a few months and I find myself getting incredibly fucked off because what the fucking hell did you think would happen?
It annoys me, more than anything else, because of the sheer waste of it all; all the resources and money that go into ventures so obviously doomed to failure. And then it annoys me because of how often these things seem to be started by Yummy Mummies whose minted partners pay for them to open a little boutique in a sort of condescending, ‘nice job for a girl, but not a serious legal/financial/medical job like a chap would do’ sort of manner or, alternatively, some trustifarian fuckwit who has never really needed the money anyway because Mummy and Daddy are rich enough to fix Haiti if they cared to think about it for a second and if and when the thing bloody fails it’s really no skin off anyone’s nose anyway.
And then I take a deeeeeep breath, make just a little effort to get the damn chip off my shoulder, and try to repress my angry inner anti-privilege instincts.
You see, this kind of thing annoys me in the ways described above because of where I live now. But it used to annoy me for rather different reasons: because of actual, genuine concern. I first started to notice it when I lived in Manchester, and to a degree it is also in evidence in Leith as well. When the first shoots of niceness start to sprout in generally tatty areas, you get the same kind of hit and miss results, but this time the impression they give is rather different.
I walk past these optimistic little cafes and shops, and the shitty pubs which people have made a real effort to civillise, and I find myself really, really hoping they’ve judged wisely. These places flicker in and out of existence, some well though out, others ill-conceived, and I always find myself wondering about the consequences for the failures.
For people walking past it’s just another in a long line of failed small businesses, but I wonder how much people sacrificed to give it a go. Did they turn their backs on a sensible career to try this? Were they investing their own money, or someone else’s, who might be more able to afford the loss? Does the failure represent total bankruptcy? Are they and their families in real financial trouble now? Is it just someone dallying or does this have really tough consequences for someone? Especially when you consider the kind of domestic conflict which financial difficulties tend to generate, every blank, silent shop front could so easily be the only public face of all sorts of heartache going on in someone’s life.
I don’t know if that makes me more or less angry about the wealthy dilettantes we tend to see around our way – more, probably; taking the kind of risks, without consequences, which other people have to sacrifice everything for the chance to try – but I find it all sort of ghoulishly intriguing. And I can never walk past a recently boarded-up storefront without wondering.
what?
On a lighter note, do chuckle though at the closed down ‘The Property Shop’ on St Stephens Street being turned into ‘The Proper Tea Shop’. I like to think sometimes that people start a business for no other reason than they’ve thought of a crap joke/pun. (see also ‘World of Pine’ on Leith Walk, which I hope has a sign when you walk in saying ” You’re entering a World of Pine”).
I think unfortunatley there is a lot of fannying about going on. Annabel has always wanted her own little shop as she just LOVES trinkets, and her well to do husband will provide, just to keep her capped teeth twinkling, and to keep her off the gin.
I have seen it everywhere, and what’s worse, these shops dont provide a platform for say, talented British designer/makers, its imported tat that they can get super cheap, with the added bonus of exploitation of those who actually produce it. My Mum is a sculptor, jewellery designer type lunatic and having done most of the Trade Shows in Britain you see these women totter past, going ” oh, that’s a bit unusual isnt it?” but look, I can get this pointless wooden pig with a dress on, for less than half the price, if I import it. And my Mum and many others are left struggling horribly because ratty posh bints dont have any taste or clue.
Today, there is clearly an air of RANT in the air so I will try to resist going further, but its true. The majority of people who set up these shops are over-privileged idiots who dont know their arse from their elbow and when it all goes tits up; doesnt even register with them. They are bailed out and all is sparkly again.
I like the potato shop in St Steven Street, it was cold on Friday night and they let us eat in there. Now that’s a good shop.
that’s capitalism baby!
The potato shop on St. Steven’s Street is great. People exploiting others is crap. Sorry it sounds like you’re having a helluva day, both here and on facebook, matthew.
Was expecting today’s other deserving rant to be about the load of pish sporting from the Pope’s mouth today: see here:
http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/uk/8493280.stm
Get your house in order, yer ‘holiness.’
the pope should be buried alive with ants
Scroll to bottom picture to see the true face of his ‘holiness’.
http://www.farleftside.com/2009/6-8-09.html
Great rant. Pleased/surprised to see use of the word “Trustafarian”, as I thought that was strictly an America term.
*American
No, we have it over here too. Although I tend to prefer the shorter ‘cunts’.
I get all angry at these places, and wish all sorts of doom and ruin upon them, and then I pass somewhere closing down which actually looks like someone really put their heart and soul into it, and then I feel rather guilty.
Stockbridge really is filled with a bunch of pish. Apart, of course, from the potato shop, the Baillie and the bus stop where I see “him” every day.
Well, here’s something to consider: In NYC over the last 10 (or so) years, all the “mom & pop” shops (and many restaurants/bars) have been getting priced-out, put out of business, bought out or taken over by generic, corporate-owned chains and the like. Where there was once character, you have a bunch of places that are no different from you might find somewhere like (*spit*) Houston or the suburbs or whatever. Now THAT is depressing. The first bad sign was about 12 years ago when my favorite dive bar, near my then-office in Times Square, was closed and re-opened as a clean-scrubbed facsimile of an Irish pub, Ye Olde Pig And Whistle or something, owned by… The Disney Corporation.
So, maybe just be glad that you have something indie or locally-owned, and not “The Man” stuffing something generic down your throat.
True…I do my absolute best not to go into McDonald’s or Starbucks, a stance which is failing to bring those corporations to their knees…
Well spending money at Starbucks or at some Yummy Mummy throwaway hobby shop is a bit like deciding which gang you’d like to burn down your house, but I take your point.
Madcow, there are also some amazing places in Stockbridge – specifcally the fishmonger and Bower’s the butcher. And Herbie’s. And Mellis’s. And the Edinburgh Wine Shop. And I kinda have a soft spot for Maxi’s and the ‘Open All Hours’ chaps in the Post Office as well, and both the newsagent’s next to Bank of Scotland at the lights. So it’s not all pish.
In “Madcow”‘s defense I have to say, despite the fact he used to live in Stockbridge, he would have not frequented such a place as a fishmonger,or indeed a butcher, and therefore could not bathe in thier delights. Before me it was beer and pizza. From such a lifestyle I’m surprised and certainly pleased, that he isnt dead.
Personally, I only know about Mr Potato’s shop. I’m happy in my ignorance.
Stockbridge, middle class wankerville!
Leith, working class heroes!
over here son, on me ‘ed!
You’re quite right, Leith has improved immeasurably since you moved to London.
i’m still here tho……..!
Move to London.
nada……you’ll be getting an invited to my leaving do….don’t come tho!
Dunno if belle’s diner’s still there, but that was pretty cool, and certainly not run by a yah, either…
There was a great food shop by my house that was run by a Trustfundian (or at least she came off that way) and, I felt guilty when it closed because there were a lot of staples I could have bought there that I went to the McSupermarket for.
All this until I realised that she was a snotty little thing who was quite condescending whenever I went in.
Not that I should complain. My wife support my small recording business…
65% fail within 10 years, that’s a lot rant anger to be wasting walking down the street or a lot of sympathy to be outpouring. Maybe you should develop a system.
Just a suggestion but 1) if they sell shit – fuckem
caring and sharing down south
Ed – Bell’s Diner is still here, and still fucking brilliant.
Cogstar – that pretty much pinpoints the dilemma. If they are cunts I get angry if they sell shit, because they can afford to be so stupid, which kind of annoys me. Alternatively, if they seem really nice then it also annoys me because they seem, as ‘nice’ people, to deserve to do well, but how the hell do they think they’re going to do that by selling random bits of needless rubbish? and then I end up lamenting their inevitable future demise.
What are you lot moaning about, if they fail they fail…bonus!!! If they succeed they must be doing something right or even serving a purpose of some sort.
In fact that I try to ignore that I buy most of my music from self ideolising cunts.
One of my son’s classmates lost his house not too long ago because his mother, who is Australian, put it up as collateral for a small business loan so she could open an Australian-themed spa in a strip-mall in Fredericksburg, Virginia. I couldn’t help thinking to myself what a fucking colossal lapse of judgment this was, but then we went to a birthday party at the house just before they had to move out and she was so disappointed and remorseful. I felt a bit sick.
In fact that I try to ignore that I buy most of my music from self ideolising cunts.
That’s not even a sentence in Newcastle, Chutters, try a bit harder.
C&B – Have you read the book of Anthony Bourdain’s where he goes into detail about the kind of follies committed by people who try and open restaurants and basically design the perfect place for… pretty much themselves and no-one else. It’s similar, you can see a little cackle in his voice for the people he thinks deserved it, but at the same time tremendous frustration at all the well-meaning people who essentially bankrupted themselves by making silly, silly decisions.
I’d imagine that the case with shops is similar to restaurants: because they’re right there before everyone’s eyes it’s easy to think that it’s not all that hard to do yourself, and to forget how much experience (or luck) is needed to firstly devise and secondly run one successfully.
Credit to whoever in the thread was first to draw the correlation between retail folly and music. I’m too lazy to go back and read the thread again to see exactly who it was but… that put some perspective on it (“perhaps a little too much perspective”, etc etc).
TOAD!
Melli’s STINKS. Stupid cheese.
Newsagents are good to get the latest Panini Thundercats stickers from but unfortunately that was when I was 6. Other than that they have over priced milk, bread, a “fine” selection of jazz mags and shite doors.
As Creature says, I’ve never been in a meat or fish shop as they dont sell frozen pizzas. I hate wine. I don’t post letters and what is Herbie’s? Don’t get me wrong, I like Stockbridge a lot.
I was drunk and confused, now i’m sober and confused and still don’t understand what has got everyone’s goat up on running?
Maybe it’s just the fact that from down here in the gutter you all look like over privileged numpties.
Maybe it’s cos i is thick, so could you please explain in ABC’s what the bloody hell it is that you’re going on about?
Luv
Mellis fucking rocks.
Madcow, I’ll take you in there and introduce you to a nice, ripe, pungent selles sur cher or a so-sharp-it-actually-hurts-the-roof-of-your-mouth-a-bit Lincolnshire Poacher cheddar.
You’ll love it.
Shops run by people with more money than sense annoy me, particularly as they seem to rather frequently go broke because they have been designed entirely for the proprietor and their friends.
When I didn’t live in Stockbridge, where this kind of thing is quite prevalent, shops going broke used to make me wonder about how much someone might have sacrificed to start up their new enterprise and how much they might be suffering as a result of its failure.
To put it even more simply, when shops close, sometimes I feel annoyance and sometimes compassion, but every boarded-up storefront makes me wonder about the story behind it.
Dylan’s way of saying “Chutters: ignored.”
I am nicer than Dylan.
Anthony Bourdain also fucking rocks.
Yes he does. Yes he very very does.
Dylan? name rings a bell…..anyway Anthony Bourdain is a bit of a dick if the truth be known.
I suspect Anthony Bourdain would be the first to admit that he’s a bit of a dick, Chutters.
Which only serves to enhance his fuckingrockingness.
hhhhmmmmm…..no it doesn’t
Yes it does. I can prove this with charts and graphs which are the result of extensive research.
my arse crack
Can it really be that I am the first person ever to explain to Chutters that a little tiny bit of self awareness is generally considered a good thing, and not just in celebrity chefs.
Chutters, as Matthew hinted earlier, perhaps this will help illustrate the point.
My Dylan, that’s a very convincing graph you’ve got there. What more persuasion could anyone need?
Sycophantic fuckwads
There must be a graph somewhere about the relationship between thread awesomeness and Chutter’s irritation levels.
Great graph Dylan…..top work
I never really cared about the people-with-more-money-than-sense shops (how do all these stupid Christmas Shops manage to survive the summer months though??)
I do however sometimes feel really shit when there’s a shop which I really like but which I somehow see is bound to fail. And which might be crap too but which I support simply because I like the idea and to give the people running it a good feeling. Prime example is that tiny vegan snack bar on Bread Street just around the corner from the school of art which opened less than a year ago I think. I found it really hard to stick to a vegetarian diet while I lived in Edinburgh because frankly, except for 2 or 3 places, nobody seems to give a damn about vegetarians. I found the idea of having a dedicated vegan fish’n'chips-like shop really great, but I wonder if it’s got any better now or how long they’re gonna last.. First mistake was they opened around the end of term, with art school students their only reasonable target group. The interior and stuff is really cute but it’s too tiny to be really comfortable, and whenever I went there the food just wasn’t really fresh simply because they didn’t have a lot of customers (and they were terribly slow too since they had to fire up all their cooking equipment for every single customer). Plus their opening hours were weird (closed on weekends and quite often in the afternoon) and they didn’t have a sign outside with their hours. Hope they’re still there though and doing better. If you’re reading this maybe consider dropping by and getting a tofu hot dog or something, even if you’re not a vegetarian, it tastes ok and their prices are really cheap, too :/
I think it’s the well-meaning ones who have worked their arses to off put together a patently doomed place who depress me the most – it’s so frustrating because you can see how much trouble they’re getting into and there is no way of just having a quiet word in their ear and suggesting that they maybe just have a little think before throwing their life savings down a bloody great hole.