Friday Wants its Fucking Bed
Oooft. It has been a heavy week, and oddly enough I am going to be taking the weekend as an opportunity not to drink, which is a bit backwards. But then, that’s how these things go sometimes I guess.
The good thing about my current job, of course, is that I don’t have to be all that professional. So instead of sitting at a desk trying to look like I’m being efficient this afternoon, I can put a movie on talk shite on the Friday Fives and fold Cold Seeds inserts. It’s work, of course, and it does need to be done, but that doesn’t mean I have to make things hard on myself.
One nice thing about being in the house during the day is that we happen to live near just about the best butchers and the best fishmongers in the city. So when I pop out for my lunch I can also pick up something extremely tasty for dinner as well. I haven’t spent much time in the kitchen over the last couple of years, largely due to coming home and getting straight on the computer to do Toad things, so I have actually been quite enjoying getting back in touch with my inner housewife.
Anyhow, Fridays, as we all know, are de-lurking amnesties, where you the silent masses save me from the incessant chirping of my regular gobshites by answering five largely frivolous questions about nothing much in particular and then annoying your bosses by doing nothing at all for the rest of the afternoon except talk shite on the internet.
1. Weirdest foodstuff you have ever sampled.
2. Something you thought would taste horrid, but was lovely.
3. Something you thought you would enjoy, but was disgusting.
4. Tastiest food which is completely boring.
5. Hangover munchies of choice.
The Divine Comedy – A Seafood Song
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Grandaddy – Poisoned at Hartsy Thai Food
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Adam Balbo – Convenient Dinner
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Donny Hue & the Colors – With the Onions (from their series of free e-singles)
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Eels – Hospital Food (Live at the BBC)
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1. Sea Urchin is probably not far off. You crack the little fucker open and eat its bollocks, basically. They’re complicated little bastards on the inside, too – they have weird little beaky mouth arrangements. If I remember correctly they have five-way symmetry, so they’re basically just rolled-up starfish.
2. Umm… I am usually pretty open-minded about food. Chili chocolate maybe, or beer. I wasn’t too positive about those, but ended up liking them.
3. Jellied eels. Utterly inedible, barf-worthy rubbish. I love seafood, and I have cooked and enjoyed eel before, so what could go wrong, I stupidly thought. Blech. One of the only things I have ever been unable to finish.
4. Beans on toast or cheese on toast. Either. Fucking brilliant stuff.
5. A big tub of Pakeeza yoghurt. Chocolate milk. Haribo Star Mix. Mrs. Toad’s fried tatties with cheese, sweet chili sauce and a fuck load of garlic. All winners.
1. glands
2. glands!
3. oysters…. now i know how paris hilton must feel wolfing down vast quantities of a similar substance
4. bangers and mash
5. going to go with crisp sandwiches…. prawn cocktail
FIRST!!!!!
GOD DAMN IT!!!!!!
1. i find any kind of liver pretty bloody weird!
2. Chicken feet.
3. Cuttlefish, chose it in Hong Kong last as i thought it would taste like Squid, i was wrong!.
4. Marmite on Toast.
5. Ready salted crisps and strong coffee in the morning. If it’s a day long hangover episode then some cheesy pasta affair, total comfort food.
1. Weirdest foodstuff you have ever sampled.
During my student days, I survived by working part-time in Asda behind the delicatessen counter. We once got in a white stilton, with pieces of strawberry and chocolate through it. It tasted like Christmas. But it was spring.
2. Something you thought would taste horrid, but was lovely.
The taste of bitterness and resentment.
3. Something you thought you would enjoy, but was disgusting.
White stilton with pieces of chocolate and cheese through it.
I love cheese.
I love strawberries.
I love chocolate.
I did not enjoy an amalgamation of all three.
4. Tastiest food which is completely boring.
Olives. Olives are boring. They taste almost orgasm-inducing, though.
5. Hangover munchies of choice.
It depends. Either a big fuck-off bag of kettle chips (any of their flavours – it’s all about the satisfying crunch) or a bag of five pecan and toffee cookies.
Or just some olives.
1. Weirdest foodstuff you have ever sampled.
I’m not too sure, the other week I dipped a Penguin biscuit into curry sauce and continued to eat it. It was actually very nice.
2. Something you thought would taste horrid, but was lovely.
Chocolate and curry sauce.
3. Something you thought you would enjoy, but was disgusting.
There’s not very much that I don’t like, I can’t think of anything off the top of my head that I really hate. Actually no, I despise most curries that I’ve tried and I thought they would be something I would enjoy.
4. Tastiest food which is completely boring.
I’m going to agree with Matthew and say cheese on toast, wins everytime.
5. Hangover munchies of choice.
Well this morning I’ve helped myself to a ham/cheese/salad cream roll which seems to have helped. Usually it’s something fattier and fried. And lots of crisps and fresh fruit juice.
1. Pickled bamboo shoots.
2. Far too wimpy to eat anything that looks really off-putting.
3. Miso Soup.
4. Vegetarian sushi.
5. Self-pity.
1. A friend of mine cooked me a Japanese breakfast which was delicious, but centred around small, pregnant fish that were grilled and about the size of goldfish. Odd sensation of crispy fishies popping and releasing all the eggs in your mouth.
2. Beef ‘Special’ Pho. Which proudly proclaimed that it contained beef balls and tendons. The balls were (luckily) meat balls and the gelatinous, chewy tendons were really good.
3. Pickled whelks. I love all things pickled, and seafood, but these are foul rubbery lumps with additional grit and acetic acid. On cocktail sticks.
4. Porridge. Bland, comforting, near instant and like tea can be personalised in a near infinite variety of ways.
5. Dr Pepper and lots of bacon, almost separately.
1. I’ve eaten a swan- it’s very dark and gamey, kind of a cross between duck and venison.
2. Blue cheese ice cream….served on a slate, but very tasty.
3. Papaya. The most disappointing tropical fruit in the world.
4. Agree with Matthew that it’s great to have a god butcher’s and fishmonger’s, and would add baker’s to that list- freshly baked bread is a winner.
5. Sausage sandwich, brown sauce.
1. Scorpion? Crickets maybe?
2. I actually had an inkling it would taste good, but the general consensus might be to presume that roasted bone marrow would be unpleasant. And it’s not. It’s fabulous.Â
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3. Anything with squid ink in it. Or jellied braun (pig’s brain). Also tripe. And beetroot.
4. Worcester Sauce. It’s ubiquitous and commonplace but when you think about it it’s an amazing flavour. Tabasco too.
5. Scrambled eggs. Or maybe a Bloody Mary (see question 4!)
1. pigs ears which are a delicacy in Spain, tasting fucking bogging
2. kebab with mayonaise and ketchup – now love it!
3. Steak Tartare, I thought I would be all manly, I was in fact being a cock
4. macaroni
5. pretty much anything from Greggs washed down with a bottle of ‘Bru
PRINCESS DIANA LIVES ON IN THE PEOPLE’S HEARTS
You know, I’d been wondering what that pain in my chest was.
1. I had a flatmate originated from the middle east once who would serve funny combinations of western foods, like chili con carne combined with potato salad.
2. Japanese seaweed salad and Teriyaki burger.
3. Somebody mentioned this before, cuttlefish was rubbish. I thought I was chewing on a piece of bad tasting rubber.
4. Yeast dumplings (don’t know if this is the correct translation for ‘Hefeklöße’) with blueberries and vanilla sauce. Makes me completely happy and content.
5. Cooking pasta and opening a jar of homemade pesto.
yeah i’m somebody….whoop!!!
also i hate Jerusalem artichokes
Mr Bear – Haha! (In the style of that kid from the Simpsons, of course.)
Adamski, did you have half a lime squeezed into your papaya. I find it makes all the difference.
Chutters – I love chicken feet too. Bloody lovely, and spitting out all the little bits of bone and gristle as you go along is an added bonus.
Dylan – bone marrow is cheating. Come on – you were in the King’s Wark, you knew it was going to be good!
Peenko – I love fishy tartares, but have yet to try beef. Mrs. Toad does a fine tuna tartare – very nice indeed.
Mmmm… how soon is dinner!
1. Weirdest foodstuff you have ever sampled.
At chinese yum cha what I thought was a crispy ball of tofu actually had an inner ball of some gristley, gluey non-descript meat by-product. The lesson is: don’t be a vegetarian.
2. Something you thought would taste horrid, but was lovely.
Vegemite. I ran away from it as a kid, but love it now.
3. Something you thought you would enjoy, but was disgusting.
Usually rich chocolate mud cake. In theory, great but so often just brown sludge with sugar added.
4. Tastiest food which is completely boring.
Chips and tomato sauce.
5. Hangover munchies of choice.
eggs, eggs, eggs
1. tinned sausages
2. your mum
3. every time I have mcdonalds
4. stovies
5. I really want bangers and mash
Yum cha reminds me of Fishy Chew. My brother and I were on an accidentally long bus ride which took us into the wrong country on a bus where they only had one tape – the Best of the Eagles – on permanent rotation. We stopped at a service station and, because we are intrepid eaters, thought we’d try a packet of a product called Fishy Chew.
It was a sticky, gum-your-mouth-together, mess, sickly sweet, almost impossible to actually chew, and smelled a little bit of old leather and dirty socks. It was one of the most hilarious gastronomical moments of my life.
Now now Matthew. That’s vulgar.
Ironically, I am procrastinating writing a dissertation about food by answering a questionnaire about…food. Huh. Anybody here have any theories about why British people like to eat curry so much?
1. Grasshoppers covered in chili and lime. It’s a Mexican thing. Didn’t really taste of much besides chili and lime, to be honest.
2. Oysters. My grandfather forced me to try one when I was twelve, and I’ve been hooked ever since.
3. Cod in an orange and star anise sauce. This is when I discovered my fiery hatred for any kind of liquorice flavour (anise, fennel, sambuca, Pernod, etc.)
4. Fried chicken strips with cheap, sweet barbecue sauce.
5. Haggis and egg breakfast roll and coffee if I’m in Edinburgh, or corned beef hash with eggs, home fries, orange juice, and coffee if I’m in California. In other words, grease and caffeine all the way.
I hate British curry. 95% of it is generic brown sludge, and I can’t be arsed tracking down the decent 5% because you have to eat so much crap to get there.
Same with Italian and Chinese food in this bloody country, actually.
1. veal brains. (braaaaains!)
2. Cheddar and Sour Cream flavored chips with tuna fish. (mix the tuna with a little mayonnaise
3. Mangoes. I keep giving them a chance but every single time it’s like a slab of bitterness on my tongue. Maple syrup is also a much hated food item.
4. Toasted cheese sandwiches!
5. a cheesy, cheesy omelet with bacon.
1. I’m not that adventurous I’m afraid.
2. My sister made me coat a jelly snake in chocolate pudding tonight, and it was actually pretty good. A soft serve cone from Maccas with fries dipped in it works for me too.
3. Pork pies. Enid Blyton made them sound so yummy, but I’d rather eat my own foot.
4. Vegemite on toast.
5. Oil, grease, fat, lard. And coke. Lots of coke.
Congratulations rampant chutney on being somebody…
I, on the other hand, am a nobody…which I work hard at being, by the way! (hehe)
Yep, simple fresh-baked bread – so simple yet so great. good one Adamski!
1. Lengua (Beef Tongue)
2. Didn’t like the look of artichokes
3. Ketchup chips, Cactus
4. Poutine
5. Bananas and Strawberries, Bagels and Cream Cheese, Cheese Popcorn.
“Lots of coke”
*slightly raised eyebrow*
Poutine is fucking great!
square sausage and fruit pudding roll
people eat curry in britain because simon says
Erm, Matthew are you in one of your moods again?
Toad: on Church St, Stoke Newington, there happens to be 2 of the best curry houses i’ve ever been into!!! come down and we’ll take you along!
Also you should try to Mother India chain of shops in Glasgow, (and i think that they have opened a place in Edinburgh also) which are pretty goddamn good.
there you go….the hard work has been done for you.
although sometimes the brown sludge types of curry can be vastly more satisfying than they look!
i was watching the Perfect Storm the other night and saw this http://www.google.co.uk/imgres?imgurl=http://i90.photobucket.com/albums/k273/hypergolic_amy/Recurring%2520folk/ray2.jpg&imgrefurl=http://hypergolic.webs.com/recurringcharacters.htm&h=376&w=337&sz=24&tbnid=Mx0pBTsBayhLMM:&tbnh=122&tbnw=109&prev=/images%3Fq%3DHayden%2BTank&usg=__NjkIYKVJ10HOI3chLSzt3acgvAk=&sa=X&ei=H-NSTLbDEIT-0gTR7IzuAg&ved=0CB0Q9QEwAg
looks kinda like our Mr Swan
(sorry i dunno how to do the HTML tag anymore)
I had to google poutine. It looks foul!
I also have another one for #3: English fish and chips. They’re all limp and soggy. I think we do a much better job down here in Oz!
(disclaimer: I loved my trip to England. And the English people. I just didn’t love the f&c!)
(so please don’t hurt me)
1. Weirdest foodstuff you have ever sampled.
I am generally very boring and have never adventured to far flung countries to sample their foodstuffs, or even tried that many weird things over here. My sister just told me a story about being at a friends house and finding a jar of peanut butter in the fridge, which, when she ate it, turned out to be fish paste. Expecting peanut and getting fish must have been very weird. And unpleasant.
2. Something you thought would taste horrid, but was lovely.
Oysters. Very very strong gorgonzola, red wine.
3. Something you thought you would enjoy, but was disgusting.
The pate that I had in the Roseleaf. Everything else on the platter was lovely, but that pate was a fucking disgrace.
4. Tastiest food which is completely boring.
Fusilli pasta (it has to be fusilli!) with loads and loads of grated cheddar cheese.
5. Hangover munchies of choice.
I have just killed a monumental hangover with a bacon double cheeseburger from Burger King (shhh). Don’t mix gin and wine, kids.
Tom – i know those curry houses! they are the fucking bomb!
hahaha, Fishy Chew… hilarious, and a spot-on description for Yum Cha – or Little plates of What-The Hell-Is-This On A Trolley, as I affectionately call it.
poutine is in every way wrong, but in every way amazing Agnes, very tasty and perfect for either staving off the hangover or treating it.
She’s right about poutine, Agnes. And you are wrong about fish and chips.
Lane? She? Or is that wrong?
1) Octopus Salad. Doesn’t sound bad but is was basically ten small octopuses whole. Bit scary to look at.
2) I will try absolutely anything. Although I hate hard boiled eggs, and I had a tagine that had a very well cooked egg in it.
3) When I was traveling I stopped at a little street stall to get a little local snack. I thought I was being cool and hip and ended up eating a corn dog. Which for the non-Americans is just that: A hotdog deep fried in cornmeal. And the exciting local spicy sauce? Heinze special!
4) Feta cheese. I can eat blocks and blocks of it. It is the single most delicious substance on earth.
5) Runny eegs with mountains of chillies/chillie sauce with a spicey V8 juice. It’s like a dirty bomb in your colon but it does the trick.
Also Matthew, you promised we would never speak of the fishy-chew again. It’s sort of like ‘nam in that sense.
Oh god, i’ve just remembered the time my mum made ‘macaroni fish’. I’m having horrible flashbacks.
Sure, I’ll be she.
Umm, now I’m uncomfortable.
Wuss.
Big girl.
1. Weirdest foodstuff you have ever sampled.
Once, me and some mates decided to do magic mushrooms. Someone came up with the idea of mixing them in with Pot Noodles…we sat eating from the same pot for more than 4 hours, tripping balls.
2. Something you thought would taste horrid, but was lovely.
Horses cock
3. Something you thought you would enjoy, but was disgusting.
Crab
4. Tastiest food which is completely boring.
Steak and kidney pie
5. Hangover munchies of choice.
Fast Food ie Burger King, Domino’s etc
1. Nothing too mental. Horse probably.
2. Pot Noodle Toastie. Surprisingly awesome, but only when drunk. I also like oysters much more than I expected to.
3. Squid. I like calamari rings so assumed I would like squid cooked other ways. I was wrong.
4. Bacon. Boring, but if bacon was a woman I’d drunkenly hit on it in the pub, and tell it how beautiful it is.
5. Bacon again.
1. Weirdest foodstuff you have ever sampled.
I went to China this year. i had a lot of weird stuff including gizzards. Best not to ask after a while so I just got on with it.
2. Something you thought would taste horrid, but was lovely.
Pork scratchings. Roasted pieces of pig skin. Doesn’t sound great but tastes awesome.
3. Something you thought you would enjoy, but was disgusting.
Blancmange. Though it would be like Angel Delight (which illustrates how common I am). It wisnae.
4. Tastiest food which is completely boring.
Rice. rice with chili pickle, rice with tuna, rice with chili sauce, rice with soy. I like rice.
5. Hangover munchies of choice.
Take bag of salad potatoes, cut into small cubes, fry with onions, garlic (much) and chilis. Top with grated cheese, salt and pepper while still hot. Accompany with Irn Bru (glass bottle preferably).
Different versions of a ‘full english’ breakfast apply to every answer. But especially as a hangover cure.
Also, poutine is the greatest thing that ever happened to food. Gravey soppy goodness.
1. Weirdest foodstuff you have ever sampled.
15 years as a vegetarian introduced me to a number of meat replacements that are probably pretty weird. #1, something called setian (wheat gluten), and is pretty much pronounced satan.
2. Something you thought would taste horrid, but was lovely.
a runny fried egg on homemade enchiladas, de-lish.
3. Something you thought you would enjoy, but was disgusting.
breadfruit and dragonfruit.
4. Tastiest food which is completely boring.
pasta noodles, vermicelli in particular with butter, olive oil and garlic salt.
5. Hangover munchies of choice.
bacon, said the ex-vegetarian (and a glass of fresh squeezed orange juice).
Also, on poutine. It’s one of those things that on your first try you think “what’s the big deal?”, but then a few days later, you find you can’t stop craving it. It’s like crack that way.
ammend spelling error, setian for seitan.
Pork scratchings were the thing I hated most out of the time I spent living in England.
Pork scratchings are fucking gorgeous, but I agree on dragonfruit. Not so much disgusting as really, really fucking boring.
angel delight isn’t common, it’s the pudding of the gods. and dragonfruit has the coolest name, but is a huge anti-climax.
3. Something you thought you would enjoy, but was disgusting.
Crab
Scott, I have never encountered anyone be this wrong over anything.
And I’ve had conversations with Chutters.
Yeah, Scott. You shouldn’t even be writing that kind of stuff on the internet. Shit man, get a grip of yourself.
oooh it’s Saturday night and you’re still at it!?!!
yay!
1. while in the Shetlands we were hit with the same meal day after day and were astounded by it each time. baked potato covered in cole slaw. Why??? Who would do such a thing to a poor unsuspecting potato? weird and awful.
2. lox – I couldn’t get over the fact that it was both raw AND smoked. that made no sense whatsoever and then they told me you ate it with creamcheese? that’s disgusting. but ahhhh once it was in my mouth, yum! same thing goes for mincemeat.
3. stuffed peppers
4. SOS
5. it’s been ages, but Kraft Dinner is awesome!
“but ahhhh once it was in my mouth, yum”
*insert your own joke here*
What else are you supposed to do with coleslaw apart from put it in a baked potato or in a sandwich with peanut butter?
perverts
and barbarians