Friday is Granite
Today I am off to Aberdeen to see Meursault play, get cabbaged with Paddy and Andy from Gerry Loves Records, and put up some posters for the Yusuf Azak album launch gig. We will record this week’s podcast with monumental hangovers, probably in Andy’s Mum’s living room I think. My ambitions are limited to scoring a coffee and a bacon sandwich, anything other than that will be excessive.
Some interesting news in the world of Rupert Murdoch and his lovely, cuddly NewsRape corporation – the company which brings the world Fox News, a news channel so full of lies that it is actually banned from calling itself a news channel in Europe.
Firstly, apparently the Times lost about four million readers when they put their content behind a paywall, which seems a little careless. In some ways you have to admire them for their courage, because as long as the world’s two most reliable online news sources, the BBC and the Guardian, remain free then people have access to all the news they want and are likely to just switch, and they are a little out on their own there. On the other hand, it’s the Times, it’s Murdoch, fuck ‘em, hahahahaha! Mind you, I doubt this will be something they didn’t plan for, to be fair, as everyone knew it would happen, so I assume there must be a plan.
Secondly, it appears that MySpace has had its knuckles rapped for… well, for being shit, I suppose. According to the Graun their quarterly operating losses have increased to around $156 million, which also seems a little careless, and has led to some fighting words from Murdoch HQ. You have to laugh at MySpace though. They had all the users, they were the dominant force, despite having a woefully slow and ugly site and clunky user experience, and when they got a massive injection of cash, did they streamline, redesign and modernise their site? Did they fuck. They tinkered with it a little, but even now it’s still basically just the same old shit it was in 2004. Not good enough chaps, and now you’re fucked. That’s what happens.
And finally, we seem to have an awful lot of scientists who read this site, so that picture above is taken from the webshop of XKCD, the best webcomic of them all. Science: it works, bitches.
So, here we get to the five silly questions and talking pish part of the week. I ask five silly questions and, in the comments, you answer them as sensibly or trivially as you please. Then we all talk pish on the internet for the rest of the day.
1. The first of the five songs is Chumbawamba’s genius Passenger List for Doomed Flight 1721. Have a listen and tell me who else you’d put on that flight.
2. When was the last time you checked your MySpace inbox?
3. When did you sign up to Facebook?
4. When was the last time you paid to view a news article online?
5. Why do so many scientists read Song, by Toad (answers need not be entirely accurate)?
Chumbawamba – Passenger List for Doomed Flight 1721
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Four randoms from my music library. I hope Shuffle is kind to me.
King Creosote – Alas, etc.
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The Metasciences – Four Colour Love Story
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Phil & the Osophers – Let Me Light Your Path
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The Libertines – What a Waster
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Phew, seemed to get away with that one.
1. Anyone who has ever said that atheism is a religion.
2. Never had one.
3. 2007?
4. Never have, unlikely to.
5. It’s the top google result for “amphibian dissection porn”.
1. Paul Ross. He has always annoyed me. And Fearne Cotton.
2. About a month ago. I look if I get a notification that someone vaguely interesting has sent me a message, which isn’t often.
3. 2008ish? I still don’t use it that much.
4. I haven’t so far.
5. Enduring memories of blowing frogs up during their youth.
1) The whole cast of Hollyoaks every last one of them for being in that pish. It’s spoilt my tea on a least 2 occasions this week.
2) 2 days ago to see if I had a refund from a band who just didn’t send a CD I’d bought. Oh and didn’t answer emails either.grrr
3) Ages since
4)Yeah right. There a billion better ways to spend your money. I lived without news (as best I could) for 6 months and nothing happened that mattered to my daily life.
5) Have you ever read a science text book Matthew. It’s all relative.
1. Sarah Palin
2. eeerrrrrr?
3. May 2007
4. Never
5. for a bit of new wank material?
1. David Cameron and his chillingly machiavellian sidekick George Osborne were probably not on the scene when the Chumbas wrote that were they? What about Simon Cowell? And do Rupert Murdoch and his viscous offspring get a mention?
I must admit I liked Murdoch much better when he was the bonkers one who flew the helicopters in The A-Team.
2. There is a MySpace for Blueback Hotrod. It gets updated as often as the Twitter account does. Do all MySpaces come with inboxes?
3. Since I moved to Scotland, so within the last five years. Scott (Uhersky Brod) Renton sent me my invite.
4. The other day when I gave Digger a quid to read the Away Game review in the Times. I did copy and paste it though and save it on a Word document.
5. Why do so many scientists read Song, by Toad?
Because the parrots eat ‘em all!
1. The first of the five songs is Chumbawamba’s genius Passenger List for Doomed Flight 1721. Have a listen and tell me who else you’d put on that flight.
I’ve not been able to listen (damn work firewall!) but if we’re talking about sending people to their deaths in an airbourne fireball can we round up as many members of the Tea Party as there are seats?
2. When was the last time you checked your MySpace inbox?
Sorry, you’ve lost me.
3. When did you sign up to Facebook?
June ’09 after much peer pressure. I’ve enjoyed the experience far more than I thought.
4. When was the last time you paid to view a news article online?
Never – and why would I line the pockets of that shower???
5. Why do so many scientists read Song, by Toad (answers need not be entirely accurate)?
They’re all looking for tips on how to make that home brew you’ve clearly been quaffing every time you turn on your computer.
1. The lad currently sitting next to me in the computer labs. He will not stop moving and grabbing his screen then making weird whirring noises. I am very close to losing my shit and booting him in the baws.
2.Three years ago, maybe?
3. 2005 but I have never been on it or added anything to it. Fuck Facebook.
4. Why would I do such a thing. I want something in my hand and real if I pay for it.
5. Because in science class you cut up frogs/toads. It is a weird fetish thing, eh?
1. Lots of really angry snakes.
2. Approximately two weeks after I set it up.
3. When putting photos up and poking were the only things you could do.
4. Er, never- I mean why would you? Though to continue the scientist theme and out myself, I* did have to pay £8 to read an article in a publication that the Uni wasn’t subscribed to.
*sorry, did I say ‘I’? I meant to say ‘the taxpayer’…
5. Because it’s really, really good.
(answers need not be entirely accurate)
1. Glenn Beck would be high on the list, as would every Tea Party redneck retard in America. But for now I’ll settle for Nick Clegg. At least we knew Cameron was a weasel.
2. It may be up to the one or two year mark by now.
3. Maybe three years ago, I think.
4. Never have, never likely to.
5. Because the actual business of doing science is tedious as hell, making more or less the entire internet a better option.
From the nearly free BBC Website
‘An album of “new” Michael Jackson songs is to go on sale next month’.
We need to stick him on flight 1721 just to be sure
Speaking of Glenn Beck, have you seen this Machine of Death thing? Not an actual killing machine, sadly, but an indie science fiction anthology that kept his latest book off the Amazon #1 spot on its release date, thus pissing him off greatly. It’s really good, and available for free download too.
1. Virginia Attorney General Ken Cuccinelli. A horrible, horrible person in every way.
2. It’s been a good six months.
3. Long ago. But I hardly ever use it.
4. None. All my internet-related money goes toward porn and campaign contributions.
5. Because it’s cold and godless, just like science.
Beck’s gigantic, incoherent whinge about why his book wasn’t number one is hilarious.
Waah waah, it’s the left, the left the GODLESS LEFT!
Yes it is, Glenn. We are the godless left. And we laugh at you.
Adamski, your answer to five is unacceptable.
1. Wayne Rooney’s agent. No, every single football agent in the country.
2. Never had one. More motivated by aesthetic reasons, than practical ones. Every band’s page looked like a disaster area when it launched. Like Geocities. That it looks no better now more or less vindicates my reticence.
3. I am not on Facebook either. Initially it didn’t offer me anything I didn’t already have on Flickr. And then suddenly every man and his dog was all over it ‘poking’ each other or whatever. I am now too stubborn to turn up late to this party.
4. Hasn’t happened. That said, I am in favour of putting some value on quality journalism – having someone writing from inside Sudan has to be expensive, but then that insight isn’t something you can get by blogging about the situation from a Fleet Street office.
5. Consistency. There’s nothing scientists love more than consistently high quality output. (I am technically a geologist, so I suppose I fit in the scientist bracket although I seem to be more of an economist these days)
1. Sarah Palin. Please, just make her go away.
2. Myspace has an inbox?
3. the spring of 2004 when everyone had their class schedules on there and it made stalking people so much easier.
4. never, although I did get a subscription to the new yorker to in theory access their archives online. does that count?
5. because it makes a soothing noise when the page loads?
“having someone writing from inside Sudan has to be expensive, but then that insight isn’t something you can get by blogging about the situation from a Fleet Street office”
This I really do agree with. I hear a lot of people saying that there must be other, indirect ways to monetise this kind of quality, but I have yet to hear one suggested which I find convincing.
because it makes a soothing noise when the page loads?
I really need an inebriated Toad either swearing or belching or just grumbling when the page loads. Sort of an offensive version of that Apple ‘Fwaaahhh’ noise and the Microsoft ‘Bonnnng’!
1. Jimmy Carr.
2. about 3 weeks ago when I was trying to find out what night a gig was on, i think
3. 2007, after a big meet up, so I could see the photos of drunk people.
4. Nope never. if I’m paying I’ll buy a print version if pushed.
5. Maybe they like the swearing?
‘I really need an inebriated Toad either swearing or belching or just grumbling when the page loads. Sort of an offensive version of that Apple ‘Fwaaahhh’ noise and the Microsoft ‘Bonnnng’!’
I bet MySpace would let you do that. I know good old Geocities did.
Murdoch and the internet is the greatest love story of our times
1. Jeremy Clarkson
2. They still get forwarded to my email, so I get to screen whether or not the message is worth logging in to actually respond to. I think this has only happened once in the last 12 months or so.
3. When I decided to devote all my free time to looking at pointless crap on the internet, and indicating to people whether or not I liked it.
4. Never. I doubt I ever will.
5. The same reason why the rest of us do. To escape doing some proper work.
ps Shuffle may have been kind to you, but you still decided to add a Chumbawumba song through your own choice.
pps By no stretch of the imagination should The Libertines be classed as ‘being kind to you’.
Bart, you can’t escape the fact that that Chumbawamba song is brilliant. You can protest all you like, but you just sound like the Texas School Board going on about Intelligent Design.
And the Libertines were good. Briefly.
GIHM, yep, it is rather fun watching him rail against it with such magnificent futility isn’t it.
rules like
i’m with Bart on this one btw…..Libertines were shite from the off
For fuck sake
1. The first of the five songs is Chumbawamba’s genius Passenger List for Doomed Flight 1721. Have a listen and tell me who else you’d put on that flight.
All pedants
2. When was the last time you checked your MySpace inbox?
Who cares, really
3. When did you sign up to Facebook?
5th January, 2007, 1415 hours
4. When was the last time you paid to view a news article online?
Does a hardcore transgender porn DVD synopsis count as an article? Sorry for answering a question with a question but i would like to know
5. Why do so many scientists read Song, by Toad (answers need not be entirely accurate)?
Cause we are gods and see everything
1. Mark Ronson
2. About a year ago
3. Never
4. Never
5. Are they looking for the meaning of life??
MARK RONSON WINS THREAD! “Mark Ronson – ba-bye!”
Chutters, apart from being wrong about the Libertines, you did a fine job with God I Hate etc.. You must have that teacherly voice people feel compelled to obey, no matter what nonsense they are being asked.
I was just playing along. Isn’t it how these things spiral out of control?
There are no good Chumbawumba songs.
they have one above average song, and i only say that cos it was co-written by the amazing Mark Keds….the rest is pish.
i was talking about Libertines, however, Chumbawumba haven’t released a good song since about 1994.
Passenger List for Doomed Flight 1721 is an amazing song, even if your gran wrote it (actually, especially if your gran wrote it).
And the Libs debut album has some absolute stormers on it. Even the second one has a couple of decent tracks. I think you are viewing them through retrospective turned into dickheads glasses.
I will admit, of course, that they didn’t half spawn some utter shite in their wake.
1. Paris Hilton and anybody who thinks that she is a role model
2. Whassat?
3. Never
4. Never
5. Because they are suave, sophisticated and have impeccable taste.
I see your boy Hands came a cropper in the New York courts. Looks like Warner will get to swallow EMI afterall.
I loved the story that in his rampant bean counting, he was incredulous that EMI spent GBP£200K on ‘fruit and flowers’. Euphimism fail.
Is there a Song, By Toad Records ‘fruit and flowers’ line item in the balance sheet?
There are no good Libertines songs.
1. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WVC3bXOWc88 <- this woman
2. Um… over 6 years ago…
3. Um.. about 6 years ago.
4. Never
5. Escapism.
Titus? Another scientist?
Guy Hands getting his ass handsed to him in court is going to make things very interesting. EMI goes, and now there are three.
I confidently predict that Beggars Group will be considered a major pretty shortly. They are close already, and the more the existing majors fall by the wayside the more opportunity there will be for big indies to occupy that space.
Bart, there are several good Libertines songs. They have a particularly good one about stamping on owls.
i would love to batter the libertines….so if they go anywhere near any owls i know, they should just consider themselves battered…..and just wait for the punishment to be dealt
I’d love to see that: Chutters in a blind rage, chasing the Libertines all around Leicester Square!
actually i’d leave Carl Barat alone, as he has done loads of work for charity.
EMI have – with remarkably fortuitous timing – found some ‘new’ Michael Jackson ‘material’ to release.
If I could draw cartoons, I’d draw one with Guy Hands picking over the bones of Michael Jackson’s dead carcass in the same way one might after carving all the meat from a roast chicken.
1. I’m with whoever it was that said Clegg. Huge disappointment to everyone.
2. About 6 months after I stopped running Black Tape with Andy. Then I forgot my password.
3. I was an Oxford undergrad when it was first introduced over here to just Oxford and Cambridge – so a long time ago.
4. Never have, doubt I ever will.
5. A remarkable number of scientists in Edinburgh have impeccable music tastes. Sadly this seems to be a local phenomenom. Or maybe Yale is just extra full of boring, entirely work orienter people.
Why that was me Becky, thanks.
Dylan – that does sound like a rather awesome cartoon. And so very, very true.
Steve Lamacq just announced he will be talking to Fresh Air in Edinburgh on his show on BBC 6music this evening.
I have been lingering on Toad for some time, there is no reason to chose today of all days to make an outting but I think I will.
1. This isnt really compairable to Tony Blair etc but its the first that popped into my mind so will stick with it, the Autumn watch presenters for making a show I would like to be able to watch, unwatchable.
2. Haven’t checked it since I signed up when I was sixteen an almighty 7 years ago.
3. Around 3 years ago. Wish I had resisted the temptation its difficult to hit that delete page button now I’m in too deep.
4. I did buy The Guardian app for my phone which was £2.29. I would say I have had my moneys worth.
5. I agree with Titus.
1. Surely Simon Cowell and his mates/bands
2. God knows, not even sure why I have a myspace
3. Funnily enough last week in order to get in touch with someone now I have loads of freinds I have no intention of keeping in touch with
4. Never, I am from yorkshire you know !!
5. Why do so many scientists read Song, by Toad (answers need not be entirely accurate)?
What else have they got to do while waiting for the next batch of mice to arrive!!
Whoops that last lot of answers was mine, just forgot to change the name. Luckily H is away and has no access to the interweb
1. The first of the five songs is Chumbawamba’s genius Passenger List for Doomed Flight 1721. Have a listen and tell me who else you’d put on that flight.
Anyone who mixes up “your” and “you’re”. It’s not a difficult distinction to make (one might even say it was intuitive). And yes, I know I sound like a proper arsehole.
2. When was the last time you checked your MySpace inbox?
About a year ago. Loch Awe tried to set one up recently, but they seem to have made it EVEN LESS EASY TO USE. I don’t understand how that’s possible, but they’ve done it.
3. When did you sign up to Facebook?
Three days after I started at uni. Apparently “everyone uses Facebook”, and I’m an everyone, so I thought I should give it a go.
4. When was the last time you paid to view a news article online?
Never. I’ve considered subscribing to New Scientist to get behind the paywall for their archives, but I don’t think their mathematics coverage is good enough (partially, I suppose, because very little happens in maths on a day to day basis).
5. Why do so many scientists read Song, by Toad (answers need not be entirely accurate)?
Scientists got taste, yo.
1 Glen Beck. A dick so smelly that even the employees of Fox are ashamed of him. He has his own wing which no goes in or near. True story.
2. I don’t have one.
3. 6 Months ago.
4. I have subscriptions to a few audio mags. I actually would have no problem paying to read the news online. Someone made it, it cost labour, therefore it has value. Karl Marx said so?
5. Probably they are secretly following the exploits of Floyd the cat. A beast with a genocidal hatred of mice.
Sarah, I think you have a good point about apps, and why putting the site behind a paywall was very stupid of the Times.
With the app having such dominance of how people access the Internet, and with that set to increase dramatically, there is already a way of monetizing what used to be free.
So they’ve created a hell of a stink trying to solve a problem which was on the verge of going away anyway.
I’m not a scientist, I was just using your caveat on 5 to its full extent. I hope that doesn’t invalidate Sarah’s agreeing with me.
I agree completely with you and Sarah about the apps issue. My attitude to paying for content, such as the Guardian app, might change if I had a smartphone, but I haven’t.
1. I’ll add Bill O’Reilly to the list.
2. 2 years.
3. 3 years ago.
4. Never, I refuse.
5. This is the reason, http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zN9x6zckn18
And if it’s not, it should be.
1. Justin Fucking Beiber. No question.
2. Don’t have one.
3. Couple of years ago, but it’s not active any more.
4. Never.
5. Drugs?
Both very worthy passengers indeed.
That doesn’t invalidate it Titus but now you’ve got me thinking it has been marred with sarcasm and I’ve been a fool.
I didn’t mind paying for the app as a one off payment but would think twice if it was a subscription, which might become a thing of the future if apps dominate and the printed medium find themselves against a brick wall.
Oh hell, I really wasn’t gonna post, it’s ridiculously late, but there, someone else has posted on Sunday too!
1. The first of the five songs is Chumbawamba’s genius Passenger List for Doomed Flight 1721. Have a listen and tell me who else you’d put on that flight.
Arcade Fucking Fire, sick to death of them, yes.
2. When was the last time you checked your MySpace inbox?
At least a year now, Maxwell has finally caught up to me on Twitter and stalks me proper there.
3. When did you sign up to Facebook?
2009. also deleted my account that year, just in time for my divorce of 2010 wherein my now ex-wife announced to all our friends *and family* via FACEBOOK that we were splitting due to “irreconcilable differences” – stay classy to the end, eh? She did let me know about an hour later that she had done so, when she noticed my sis had seen it and thought I might want to call her. (said irreconcilable differences were that after 17 fucking years, my girl now declares she’s turned straight – yeah, you can’t make this shit up. Call Jerry Springer, I’m ready for his stage.)
4. When was the last time you paid to view a news article online?
Never have, never will. Marx be damned, let the fucking advertisers pay for it. Information can be made free to the masses via other channels.
5. Why do so many scientists read Song, by Toad (answers need not be entirely accurate)? Because Matthew is a secret necromancer, concocting potions which lead to everlasting life, (he only calls it Gin, we know better.)
Fucking hell, Tart. Proper email being sent!
Can you send your potion, er, Gin instead?
…. no, don’t I’m staying on the wagon afterall, fuck her.
Just another reason to hate Facebook I reckon. People don’t have any bloody boundaries any more!