Friday Has a Packed Schedule
So, after work tonight, what to do… there’s James Yorkston at Pilrig St. Paul’s, or the Panda Su EP launch at Sneaky Pete’s, or Ringo Deathstarr at Cabaret Voltaire. Then tomorrow it’s either the Conquering Animal Sound album launch or Come on Gang’s final gig (and album launch), also at Pilrig St. Paul’s. It’s almost like living in Glasgow or London.
I’m also – not that I mean to show my age – rather excited about the number of green shoots in the garden at the moment. Our approach to gardening is more than a little haphazard, but in October we threw piles and piles of bulbs into the ground, and some of them might even bloom! My mum and my Granddad on her side are very gardeny people, so you may be disgusted at my pipe and slippers domesticity, but I think they’d be proud, bless ‘em.
Oh, and I’m sorry this week’s five is a little late. I was distracted by The Oatmeal for about three hours. Damn you, internet! I’m not really sorry though, because The Oatmeal is fucking awesome.
Remember that the Friday Fives were designed as a de-lurking amnesty, so please do take this opportunity to come out of the closet and make up some silly nonsense on the internet. It’s Friday afternoon, remember, so it’s not like you were planning on being productive for the rest of the day anyway. And for those of you who care, Mrs. Toad and I will be recording our annual anti-Valentine’s shitcast this weekend. Good, unromantic, sweary sweary fun!
1. Will you be observing Valentine’s Day this year?
2. First crush you can remember (this need not be either sensible or entirely true).
3. Favourite webcomic.
4. Work avoidance hangover tactic.
5. Inappropriate wedding song.
Five Valentine’s songs for you. Well, sort of.
Richard Cheese – Rape Me
Audio clip: Adobe Flash Player (version 9 or above) is required to play this audio clip. Download the latest version here. You also need to have JavaScript enabled in your browser.
The Wedding Present – Everyone Thinks He Looks Daft
Audio clip: Adobe Flash Player (version 9 or above) is required to play this audio clip. Download the latest version here. You also need to have JavaScript enabled in your browser.
Cherry Poppin’ Daddies – When I Change Your Mind
Audio clip: Adobe Flash Player (version 9 or above) is required to play this audio clip. Download the latest version here. You also need to have JavaScript enabled in your browser.
Tom Waits – Better off Without a Wife
Audio clip: Adobe Flash Player (version 9 or above) is required to play this audio clip. Download the latest version here. You also need to have JavaScript enabled in your browser.
Oh alright, one proper romantic one, if you must.
Billy Bragg & Wilco – Hesitating Beauty
Audio clip: Adobe Flash Player (version 9 or above) is required to play this audio clip. Download the latest version here. You also need to have JavaScript enabled in your browser.
1. I might go out and throw things at lovey dovey couples, other than that no.
2. When Bugs Bunny used to dress up as a girl rabbit.
3. I used to like PvP, but I got a bit bored with it. Don’t really follow any anymore.
4. “Hide in toilet” always served me pretty well.
5. Bitches Ain’t Shit.
1. No. Balls to it.
2. I think it might have been that lass from Blake’s 7. Even as a very young lad I remember finding her silver jumpsuit rather fetching.
3. The Oatmeal or XKCD.
4. Used to be to open a technical drawing program and leave something complicated-looking on the screen, then put my headphones on and write posts for the blog in something innocuous-looking like Wordpad.
5. Too Drunk to Fuck, by the Dead Kennedys? Have any of you actually been sober enough to have sex on your wedding night?
I’ve just looked up Blake’s 7 actually, and I have no idea who the lovely lady in question might be. It wasn’t the short-haired elfin one I don’t think, but I don’t really remember.
1. Fuck that shit.
2. *thinks*… Clare Grogan? Aye.
3. Dinnae ken, not really my thing.
4. I also go down the “hide in toilet” route.
5. Iron Maiden – Run To The Hills.
Apologies for the shit answers but I wanted to follow the protocol before asking – are Ringo Deathstarr any good? The name’s appalling but they are supporting Dean Wareham in Glasgow tomorrow and I’m heading along to that.
They are fuzzy and noisy and very shoegazey. I’ve heard songs I’ve loved and ones I haven’t been so keen on, but I haven’t listened to the album yet. They have some great stuff though, so I reckon I’ll go and see them tonight.
1. Will you be observing Valentine’s Day this year?
i’m married to Toad. There will be no celebrating.
2. First crush you can remember (this need not be either sensible or entirely true).
He was tall, brooding and handsome. He favoured tight clothing and flew jets. In Battle of The Planets. I think Jason was his name. Anyway, he was a moody fractious sod which appealed at the time. I think i may have been about 5.
3. Favourite webcomic.
Erm. Dunno.
4. Work avoidance hangover tactic.
The disabled loo as any fule kno. Also, the two sandwich lunch. Soak that shit up.
5. Inappropriate wedding song.
Belsen Was a Gas. Not appropriate for any occasion.
Ta. I’ll give ‘em a go, I was planning just to sit upstairs in Stereo and have a pint when they were on in protest at the name so I’ll get past that and check them out.
Jim, were you Garth in Waynes World?
1. Nope.
2. Girl two doors down. Boring, I know.
3. Hark, a vagrant, Dinosaur Comics, Gunnerkrigg Court, pictures for sad children, Questionable Content…
4. Stare at a spreadsheet for eight hours, go home.
5. Grinderman – No Pussy Blues
No Pussy Blues! Good call!
1. No.
2. Some boy at school when I was a young teenager, but this was before I discovered I was short-sighted. After getting glasses he definitely lost appeal.
3. Nichtlustig
4. Getting apparently busy over something “very important” while being mentally abesent.
5. The European – I’m Compromising.
1. a “thank god we’re single party” with my flat mates
2. Kirk Fogg, host of Legends of the Hidden Temple
3. xkcd.com
4. water pipes broke and your basement if flooding. great when you live on a flat on the 3rd floor.
5. “Move, Bitch” by Ludacris
“After getting glasses he definitely lost appeal.”
This is why I am forever hiding Mrs. Toad’s contact lenses. I feel safer that way.
AnotherDave, you seem to have some sort of black belt in awesome web comics. Well done!
1. I think I’ll be forced to observe Valentines this year, I’m not going out though.
2. Inexplicably Anneka Rice from a TV show with a van or a helicopter or something, followed swiftly by Phillipa Forrester from Robot Wars.
3. Either XKCD or some of the stuff on dorkly.com
4. Pretending to write notes in a lecture, but instead doing the fives or pissing about elsewhere on the internet.
5. Every Time I Die – The Marvelous Slut
1. No. I’m a singleton this year, and let’s face it Valentines day is the best day of the year to go on the pull, but as it’s a Monday I’ll be playing footy instead.
2. It was a girl in primary school, who incidentally ended up in jail last year for fraud. My taste in women hasn’t got much better
3. can’t say i read any
4. I used to work as a holiday rep, and true to form was constantly hungover. I used to put a sign on my desk saying I was visiting guests and would be back soon, and then sleep it off in the disabled toilet (that have never been finished + was essentially a tiled cupboard)
5. The End by The Doors
1. I’m going to get made fun of if I say ‘yes’ aren’t I?? Fuck it, yes I will be, if only to spare myself a bollocking.
2. I recall being besotted with a girl at school called Laura. I think I was about six. I also rather enjoyed watching Dukes of Hazzard and not just for the cool car.
3. Questionablecontent.net Music and shagging, what more do you want?
4. Dark glasses so I can to sleep. People already think I’m a pretentious twat anyway so it’s barely noticed.
5. I was pushing for Master of Puppets… although KKK Bitch by Bodycount could have been fun.
Phil – Garth & I do have a lot in common certainly. (Also, do I get to shout RULES at you for that?)
Poko – That’ll be Treasure Hunt. Phillipa Forrester is lovely though.
“Phillipa Forrester from Robot Wars”
Was this by any chance related to those excellent leather trousers she used to wear?
Oooh I see AnotherDave cited QC too – good shout sir!!
Aye, Jim, quite right. RULES, Phil!
1. Yes, from a great distance and with a look of disdain.
2. The twins from Fun House. Probably the only reason anyone took Pat Sharp seriously.
3. PhD comics (completely pointless unless you’re a graduate student), and Dinosaur comics.
4. Intravenous tea
5. Billy Connolly- D.I.V.O.R.C.E.
1. Observing Pancake Day.
2. Crush.
3. Comic.
4. Putting weblinks in the Friday Five.
5. Inappropriate Wedding Song.
Achewood is also amazing, though I haven’t read it for a while. It works best in chunks and my boss always seems to appear behind me when I try to read it.
Bad Machinery is much better than a comic about sassy pre-teens solving mysteries has any right to be.
Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal is the sex-obsessed love child of The Far Side and xkcd.
The Abominable Charles Christopher is just gorgeous and heartbreaking.
FreakAngels, by Warren Ellis, is about a bunch of weird kids in post-apocalyptic London and is every bit as good as one might expect, though it takes a while to get going.
This is very, very funny. Will Self vs Richard Littlejohn from a good few years ago:
1. Yes. I will. So what?
2. A girl at Junior school. Can’t remember her name.
3. What’s a webcomic?
4. Tea. Cope the best I can. Try not to get wound up by 11-16 year olds.
5. Primal Scream ‘Swastika Eyes’
1. I will be observing that it’s a day on the calendar, yes.
2. David Duchovny in X-Files when I was 10.
3. The Oatmeal! Man, I’m spreading that shit across facebook like herpes lately.
4. As many liquids as I can possible pour down my gullet. Since the last hangover-associated job I had was at the KW, there was no avoidance, only mockery.
5. The Chicken Dance. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0sTqJE4sdb0. I’m not sure you fortunate souls have such a thing, but it’s at more American weddings than is appropriate, I think.
I like the fact that everyone’s so anti-Valentine’s that it’s becoming the rebellious, independent thing to actually celebrate it. Well done, Valentiners, what balls!
1. We might take the little one out to a restaurant in observation, but if it helps, she may very well scream her lungs out and ruin other peoples evenings…
2. Well there was Amy my preschool gf, but she wasn’t a crush. So that would be 2nd grade. Crystal. She was not nice to me so it didn’t last long. I moved on to Geri the following year and she is STILL incredibly kickass.
3. Basically xkcd is all I read unless someone links to something
4.I’ve never had a hangover. But I use things like the Friday five to avoid work…
5. “stacy’s mom” if the brides name is Stacy. And otherwise, “You know what they do to guys like us in prison” by my chemical romance
1. Via the lovely medium of Facebook chat, yes.
2. Cake. We still see each other from time to time.
3. XKCD, Penny Arcade or Manly Guys Doing Manly Things.
4. I don’t get hangovers. (I don’t drink).
5. Weezer – Pink Triangle
It was a Beach Buggy by the time she got to Challenge Anneka, and did someone say Battle Of The Planets?
1. Since I failed miserably to get Bright Eyes tickets then yes probably in some form or other.
2. Orange Crush by REM ?
3. Not got one but very partial to the Daily Mash – that count ?
4. Food – preferably fried – repeat until feel better
5. The Sound Of Settling – Death Cab For Cutie
Apologies for commenting on Jim before posting my fives!
1. In my job we work with a lot of restaurants so naturally Valentines is a big date for them. At home, I’m pretty much told we’ll be swapping a present and card so, yes I suppose is the short answer is I will be in a kind of ‘through gritted teeth’ way.
2. A girl in primary school, we eventually went out when a bit older, didnt last long though.
3. A grey area in my web knowledge.
4. ‘Work’ on a spreadsheet, look at an atlas, do the new rota…
5. Anything by 2 Live Crew. Get U Wet by Le Reno Amps is probably another that you wouldn’t want the mother in law to hear.
You know you’re special when someone wishes you happy Valentine’s Day via Facebook chat.
“Hey babe I, like, maybe love you or something.”
Good seeing you at the Broken Records gig the other night Matthew. So:
1. Will you be observing Valentine’s Day this year?
When I first got together with my girlfriend, there was some flexibility regarding when our “anniversary” was. This is because different, er, “milestones” were reached at different times, i.e. it was debatable when we actually became a couple. So I opted for a date nice and close to Valentine’s day and now they merge into one, so Valentine’s Day isn’t really that important
2. First crush you can remember (this need not be either sensible or entirely true).
I remember being impressed with the poster for “Pretty Woman”. When I was 8 I was all about hookers.
3. Favourite webcomic.
I like PhD comics, but only really relevant if you’ve been a post-grad student.
4. Work avoidance hangover tactic.
Check facebook, email, BBC, slate, music blogs, repeat. That’s true even without a hangover
5. Inappropriate wedding song.
I’m getting married this year and whenever my girlfriend asks me what our first dance song should be, I say “Let’s Pretend We’re Married” by Prince. I find that joke funnier than she does.
http://www.wat.tv/video/let-pretend-we-re-married-1zno5_2ifa7_.html
1. Yes, from a distance, with an air of detached, bitter, cynicism.
2. A boy called Jamie in my class in first school. I seem to remember being informed we were ‘going out’ one afternoon. It lasted about an hour and we spent our whole relationship on opposite sides of the school library not actually speaking to one another.
3. Xkcd. And not a comic but Unhappy Hipsters is awesome.
4. I’m doing it right now. Also long lunches with layabout postgrad friends. Pretending to proofread but actually staring into the middle distance. Making coffee. Buying biscuits. Making themed Spotify playlists for office listening (today it’s Birds – suggestions welcome). I have a lot of strategies.
5. For a while my brother wanted ‘Fire in my Heart’ by the Super Furry Animals for his wedding, then I pointed out that while ‘I’ve got a fire in my heart for you’ is a nice sentiment for a wedding, ‘…and it’s tearing me apart’ is less so.
Definitely, Matthew, until Susie from The Gadget Show she was the only person who didn’t look like a douche in leather trousers. Possibly due to being surrounded by spotty robot building geeks!
“Good seeing you at the Broken Records gig the other night Matthew”
Dan, was that meant to say “Good seeing you outside the Broken Records gig the other night Matthew – you won’t remember seeing me because you were getting thrown out for blind drunk.”?
*insert wink smiley*
Hi Dan, yes that was indeed a very pleasant surprise. And a fine gig too.
Laura, about your second answer – so not much has changed, then?
1. My current drake is a grad student and still living with his ex-girlfriend (quite a common situation in nyc but still awkward). either we will be doing something, or I’m buying some sparkling wine, good chocolate truffles and watch the ultimate valentines’ day movie: Un Prophete.
2. i was three, he was a cute boy in my pre-school. I think he name was jeremy and I don’t remember what he looked like at all.
3. xkcd.com and scarygoround.com
4. starbucks sells a rather great sausage and egg mcmuffin.
5. You’ll Be Loved by Death Cab for Cutie
Dylan, this is the one in London for which I was very much on time, and which I very much attended.
Still blind drunk though.
“a grad student and still living with his ex-girlfriend “
The perfect opportunity to go round and bang him ’til the walls shake!
1. Singles Awareness Day? No.
2. Jenny Lewis in The Wizard, obviously.
3. Not really a web comic, but homestar runner is awesome, although sadly neglected these days. xkcd is mandatory.
4. Some James Ellroy-inspired Wikipedia research on Howard Hughes
5. Blood Mother Fucking Asshole, Martha Wainwright.
Well, Matthew, as it happens I do find not actually talking to one another at all greatly reduces the room for arguments in a relationship. The library affair ended most amicably – as amicably, in fact, as it had started.
1. Will you be observing Valentine’s Day this year?
We might exchange cards, and I’ve asked for the latest Gang Of Four album on vinyl.
2. First crush you can remember (this need not be either sensible or entirely true).
A girl called Kim at my nursery school. I was three
3. Favourite webcomic.
Oh God, I don’t think I have one. Someone better send me some links…
4. Work avoidance hangover tactic.
I go with Dan’s answer :Check facebook, email, BBC, slate, music blogs, repeat. That’s true even without a hangover…though I quite enjoy my job…and I no longer drink.
5. Inappropriate wedding song.
Bloodhound Gang ‘The Bad Touch’ or Wayne County and the Electric Chairs ‘If You Don’t Want To Fuck Me, Baby, Fuck Off.’
“Wayne County and the Electric Chairs ‘If You Don’t Want To Fuck Me, Baby, Fuck Off.’”
Well, it’s important to be clear about the important things early on.
1. No.
2. Sharan Chana. She was a girl in my fifth grade class, who hung out with me because I was mates with the guy she liked, and her best friend like me. It was sort of a Sandra Bullock movie but for 10-year-olds.
3. Sam Harris.
4. Close my office door and put music from a show on so people think I’m working. .
5. Never Going to Give You Up by Rick Astley. My wife and cousin actually had a dance they choreographed to this. It was possibly the worst conceivable way to start a marriage. Oh and Don’t Stop Believing by Journey. But repeated playing of that at Wedding seems to be a universal phenomenon of weddings in the US.
1. i am not quite sure, i ll just wait and see.
2.i don’t really remember, but i think a local singer was some kind of a crush. yeaaars ago.now i don’t even like that music.
3. questionable content is awesome.
4.i have the luxury of headphones at work, so nobody really bothers me, and i can pretend i am working for as long as i want.
5.YMCA maybe?
1. Yes, I have bought the missus a romantic plate in anticipation.
2. Blue Peter presenter and mum-to-popstar – Janet Ellis
3. N/A
4. I find working through it helps a bit, cos you can concentrate on something other than the pain. I make videos for a living, and to be honest it’s not exactly hard work, my days are mostly cups of tea and spotify anyways.
5. “She’s Lost Control” – Joy Division
5. Inappropriate wedding song.
1. Will you be observing Valentine’s Day this year?
Absolutely not.
2. First crush you can remember (this need not be either sensible or entirely true).
Someone who has become like family and was recently married! Absolute sweethearts, both him and his wife.
3. Favourite webcomic.
Questionable Content
4. Work avoidance hangover tactic.
Coffee, greasy food, and coffee
5. Inappropriate wedding song.
My friend and I had always wanted to have “Every rose has its thorn” played at our imagined sham wedding.
1. Boozing in the pub with the girlfriend until we both fall asleep if that counts.
2. Baby Spice
3.Ehhhh
4. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wC8PzhNuh7w
5. General Plea To A Girlfriend – Arab Strap
1. Not sure. Have only been with my fella for a month, and though we have been friends for years I have no idea if he’s a Valentine’s person or not. We shall see.
2. Michael someone. We were five years old and we were sitting in a big tyre in the playground and he told me that he wanted to tell me a secret and when I leaned towards him, he kissed me on the cheek. What a charmer.
3. What’s a webcomic?
4. Don’t go to work
5. “You’re Gorgeous” by Babybird seems to get a bit of play at these events.
Remember that tanktop you bought me
You wrote you’re gorgeous on it
You took me to your rented motor car
And filmed me on the bonnet
You got me to hitch my knees up
And pull my legs apart
You took an instamatic camera
And pulled my sleeves around my heart
Baby Spice? You are officially TOO YOUNG!