Friday Awaits Jeff Goldblum
 I’ll confess, the fact that Sparrow and the Workshop have twice insisted to me that John Knox Sex Club are the best live band in Scotland played a significant part in me asking them to play at Henry’s on Saturday. Then I heard their version of Katie Cruel on the Sways Records Mixtape, and thought it was incredible. And then I heard their new album Raise Ravens, and that was that. So I am really looking forward to tomorrow, I don’t know about you.
As for today, it really is unseasonably warm at the moment – almost creepily so. I half expect Jeff Goldblum to come rushing in the door brandishing unfairly discredited research and demanding I help him get in touch with the president to explain how aliens are invading, or the dinosaurs are coming back, or a comet is about to collide with the planet or something like that. It’s usually Jeff Goldblum who delivers that kind of news isn’t it?
I other news, the Eastern Promise even is taking place in Glasgow (well, Easterhouse actually, but that’s almost Glasgow) this weekend. You can get the bus from Mono if you like, and tonight will see the appearance of the amazing Animal Magic Tricks, who was fucking great in Edinburgh a couple of weeks ago, and tomorrow the return of the Scottish Independent Record Fair, where you can purchase assorted tat from the independent record labels of Scotland, amongst which we number our good selves. You’ll be able to tell our stall, because it will be the one with all the best stuff on it. Bwah-ha!
Actually, I’ll be there to set up, but will have to get back through to Edinburgh pretty sharpish for obvious enough reasons. In my absence, the stall will be manned by Wee Matthew, who has helped us out with all sorts of things, from filming to PR to screen-printing of album covers, over the last few years.
And so, before I even begin to try and get my head around another busy weekend, let’s just kick back and relax a bit, and spend the afternoon fannying about on the internet. My Fresh Air Show, incidentally, is likely to be on a Friday afternoon this year. Along with yon Brian from Trapped Mice/Loch Awe/Last Battle/etc etc etc… and possibly one other victim. So erm, yes, even more wastage to Friday afternoons than usual!
1. Name a band who sound nothing like their name.
2. Era you romanticise the most.
3. Of all the people saving the world in disaster movies, who would you most want on the case if you had the choice.
4. Has there actually been a good ‘ZOMG it’s the end of teh wurld!!1!’ film that you can think of?
5. Kids’ movie you actually like.
Five songs from 2003/4 for your entertainment.
Rickie Lee Jones – Little Mysteries
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The Jesus & Mary Chain – Just Like Honey
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1. AC Acoustics
2. 2am till 3am.
3. Bruce Willis. I can trust Bruce.
4. The Day the Earth Stood Still. Old one, not the Keanu abomination.
5. Any of the Pixar ones, except Cars.
1. Acid House Kings
2. Pride and Prejudice time, but only if I were filthy rich.
3. I’d kind of like Robert Shaw in charge.
4. Night Of The Living Dead
5. Despicable Me…and Hop
1. Japanese war effort.
2. no idea.
3. Lara croft – just thinking of the archaeology you understand !!.
4. I enjoyed Sunshine and it appropriate given the weather
5. Whistle down the wind.
1. Los Campesinos!
2. 1999-2000
3. Simon Pegg, not cause he’d save the world, it’d just be awesome to hang out with him
4. Independence Day
5. The Last Unicorn
1. Silver Jews.
2. The Pleistocene.
3. Randy Quaid, provided he saves the world through suicide again.
4. Dr. Strangelove
5. The Texas Chainsaw Massacre. And also Finding Nemo.
1. Penguin Prison. Apart from the fact that they sound like they’re going to be shit, and they are. Just in a different way than I expected.
2. At the moment, the early eighties post-punk/indie movement. Otherwise, a long time ago, in a galaxy far, far away.
3. Probably Jeff Goldblum. Even when he’s in the shit it’s never that convincing, so he always looks in control.
4. Ones like knowing and that one where the moon actually does spiral down into the Earth and kill us all are generally the best ones, because I never believe that the producers will have the guts to actually do it.
Other than that, Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy would have won, had the film been better (and had Zooey Deschanel not been in it).
5. I can watch an awful lot of kids’ movies actually. Anything involving the Muppets scores highly of course. And the junior spaceboy stuff we’ve mentioned earlier like Flight of the Navigator. And most stuff by Pixar is pretty cool.
Yeah, AC Acoustics and Los Crapesinos had me fooled too.
1. The Black Angels
2. Teenage grunge days ’91-’94
3. Wall-E
4. Gregg Araki’s “Nowhere”
5. Time Bandits
1. Black Eyed Peas, you’d expect them to be quieter seen as they’re legumes.
2. Uni, in my head it was amazing but that’s cause I’m two years on from graduation and have fuck all to show for it.
3. Does Doctor Who count? Or are you looking at actors in which case I’d like scarlet johanson to look after me please.
4. Nope.
5. I get to see hundreds through work, but it’s gotta be The Mighty Ducks! Absolutely love those films!
Anyone who says Up! Or Wall.E is an idiot though! Theres a good ten mins at the start of Up! & about twenty mins in Wall.E and that’s it. They’re really fucking dull after that.
1. Broken Records
2. Early 90′s
3. Bruce Willis
4. Sorry could you repeat the question please?
5. Chitty Chitty Bang Bang
1. Cowboy Junkies
2. The enlightenment.
3. Leo McKern (from 4).
4. The Day the Earth Caught Fire
5. Original Starwars.
1. Emmy The Great. No, you’re not….
2. The reign of Edward III. Chivalry, garters, beating the French! Oh yes, and the Black Death…
3. Ian Holm. If I was going to freeze to death The Day After Tomorrow, I’d want to do it clasping a glass of whatever he was drinking.
4. Mad Max
5. Jurassic Park was released when I was eight. Nuff said. Goldblum AGAIN…
ADAMSKI wins
Up!, Wall-E and the original Star Wars were definitely very kind-friendly, but hardly ‘children’s movies’, don’t you think? Mind you I suppose most canny studios blur they line if they can.
1. Papercuts
2. late 60s (even though I’ve never been)
3. Woody Harrelson (Zombieland)
4. 12 Monkeys
5. Bolt (the pigeons get me every time)
Chutters, which answer in particular?
Zombieland was awesome.
the Emmy the Great one
Just Like Honey isn’t from 2003/4 is it?
No, sorry, it was a song I got into because of… the Lost In Translation soundtrack I think. And that was in 2003, not the original release – whoops!
And yes, Emmy the Great. Not in any discernible way great at all.
Star Wars – Matthew you are right, probably not a “children’s” movie, but definitely a bit juvenile.
1. The Eighties Matchbox B-Line Disaster
2. Roman but only if stuff to the gills with magic potion.
3. Michael Biehn
4. Anything where Roland Emmerich unleashes the end.
5. Basil the Great Mouse Detective
(Except for the ‘disaster’ bit.)
True. Before I saw them I foolishly though a band with such an ace name couldn’t possibly be shit.
Any and every band with ‘matchbox’ in their name is shit.
Are they not? Are there any other data points than Matchbox 20?
1. My Bloody Valentine
2. Late 60′s.
3. Does Ghostbusters count as a disaster movie, kind of? There is end of the worldness to it. Let’s say it does, I’d want Bill Murray on the case.
4. Independence Day was great.
5. The Dark Crystal.
That made me think of the cartoon in this post: http://songbytoad.com/2011/09/voluntary-blinkers/
80s Matchbox etc and Matchbox 20 do indeed a thesis make!
1. Doctor and the Medics.
2. 1976-1982 – I suspect that a lot of people were slightly more focused on trying to stay alive as right-wing governments rose in Britain and the US rather than just enjoying great music.
3. I’m with Dave on this one – most definitely Bill Murray
4. Mars Attacks. Also the Original The Day the Earth Stood Still.
5. The Lion The Witch and The Wardrobe. All the Harry Potter ones. Bedknobs & Broomsticks. Mary Poppins was the first film I ever saw at the cinema (a re-release, obviously) so that has a special place in my heart. Toy Story. Shrek…sorry, was I meant to say ‘No I hate all children’s films because I am too cool to be seen enjoying myself unless I am being post-modern and ironic?!’ *snigger*
1. 10,000 Maniacs.
2. The 1980s.
3. William Shatner
4. I liked Independence Day and the new War Of The Worlds with Tom Cruise. The old 1950s American War Of The Worlds movie is shite.
5. The Lost Boys
Why the hell would you not want Zooey Deschanel in anything?
Because she’s so fucking annoyingly eccentric in the exact same fucking way in every damn thing she’s ever in. Once was adorable, twice was funny and by the third time the red fucking mist tended to descend with every wide-eyed, innocent-yet-flirtatious-but-not-really fucking nonsense she came out with. Which in her films is roughly once every thirty or forty seconds.
1. Nirvana.
2. Battle of Britain and WWII in general. If you can ignore the constant terror of bombing, widespread poverty, brutal oppression and impending geneocide, flying around in spitfires was ace. If you could get past the almost dying everyday.
3. Jackie Chan. Because then I would know that zombie, hurricane or fire storm, whatever we were facing could be defeated by ball numbingly rapid kung-fu action.
4. 28 Days Later?
5. Watership Down. It’s actually probably the best book ever written. Idealistic utopianism for children. Oh, and a foul mouthed drunken russian seagull. You, know, just cos.
I would also have said the stop motion Wind in the Willow but it might have gone to Toads head.
Stop motion Wind in the Willows is amazing. And why would that go to my head, I didn’t make it?
And the foul-mouthed, drunken Russian seagull was fucking great. “Peees off! Hurt you damn plenty!”
1. Boris
2. Victorian, I like the idea of the intelligensia sipping brandy by the fire. The music sucked though, there was no internet, there was the whole early death, and rampant isms, etc..
3. Without going far too geeky for my own good, Bruce Campbell surely.
4. Mad Max 2? It almost seems appealing. Of course the actual end happens in the first one in flashback and it isn’t very good, and I’m not sure I can like a Mel Gibson film anymore. Remake it with Zooey!
5. Anything by Miyazaki.
Can’t they remake the first one with Zooey? So she can be killed in the first five minutes?
Because of the staring role of a certain amphibian namesake.
Watership Down??? I’m still traumatised!
1. Mogwai sound nothing like a ginger and white furby kinda thing.
2. I lived in France in the late 90s and spent my time chain smoking Galloise and judging people. It was awesome and I want to go back.
3. Clint Eastwood would totally know what to do. And even if he didn’t, he’d still look damn cool scratching his head in confusion.
4. The Day the Earth Stood Still?
5. everything Pixar have ever done apart from Cars which was shite.
Watership down is ace. It teaches children about the importance of thinking for themselves, the dangers of totalitarianism and drunken foul mouthed seagulls.
And brutalizing rabbits.
Ah, it’s the Day the Earth Caught Fire I mean?
Zooey Deschanel’s hot
I was vaguely intending to watch Cars at some point, until this thread. Now I don’t think I’ll bother.
If Zooey Deschanel didn’t have a personality she would be hot. As it is, all the evidence of her personality, which could admittedly just be rampant typecasting on the part of woefully unimaginative Hollywood execs, suggests that she is so fucking annoying that no matter what she looks like she is not actually capable of being hot anymore.
Cars was OK on a flight. But I would definitely pick pretty much any other Pixar film over it. Except Cars 2, that looked wank. I saw Up the other week, it was amazing.
You see a hot girl, and I see an annoying twat. Five years ago I might have seen a hot girl too, but after five years reprising the exact same ditzy, vacuous, self-centred role every time she appears on the fucking screen, now I just get annoyed immediately every time she appears in anything.
And yes, Up was awesome. Especially Kevin the girl bird.
Technically, the first half of Up was amazing, then it turned into any old paint-by-numbers Disney flick.
Perhaps, but by that point I was sold. It probably would have been better if everyone died though. Or if the bad guy was more evil and won.
Or if it had Zooey Deschanel in.
“Or if the bad guy was more evil and won.”
This applies to almost any children’s film in the last ten years.
I think it’s why I like The Empire Strikes Back so much. The other Star Wars films are merely background information.
500 Days of Summer:
A story of a self indulgent whiney stereo-type who falls in love with a self involved narcissist. Not. entertaining. at. all.
Copy and paste this review to all of Zooeys movies.
Yes.
My theory is that all of these things were written by spineless boys about a girl with the personality they themselves projected onto the pretty girl in school they didn’t have the balls to talk to.
Hence all the self-pitying self-examination on their part and the lack of any real depth of personality on hers. Her ditziness is their attempt to shoehorn a coherent, believable personality onto someone who to all intents and purposes treats them with total indifference. And it fails completely as far as I am concerned.
At least movies like Up and Watership Down is that it introduces children to the concept of struggle, of over coming odds and of taking responsibility for things.
I worked with a writer who described American children’s stories being about people overcoming feelings, where as English children’s stories were about people overcoming events. Might be bollocks but the above movies seem to bear it out.
Romatic comedies on the other hand are about people overcoming the fact that Zooey Deschanel (or who-the-fuck-ever) is irritating as a beehive in your pants.
I don’t think I’ve actually seen Zooey Deschanel in anything apart from Hitchhiker’s…
And that was when it was on the wall of screens behind the stage at Electric Circus while My Tiny Robots played.
Really? What an excellent backdrop!
1. And you will know us by the trail of dead
2. the future.
3. Cillian Murphy.
4. did you not see the amazing CHILDREN OF GOD?!?!?!
5. Spirited Away by Hayao Miyazaki.
Zooey’s my spirit animal.
Children of G… no, I don’t believe I did. Good ‘un?
Sorry, it’s Children of Men … which i confuse with city of men and city of god. my mind’s warped today.
Ah yes. That was a good film too, good call.
1. Name a band who sound nothing like their name.
Pixies, perhaps?
2. Era you romanticise the most.
I don’t romanticize much, though I love movies set in different eras. I prefer past eras to future ones.
3. Of all the people saving the world in disaster movies, who would you most want on the case if you had the choice.
Just one? I’d want a team of brains and brawn (and handsome, yeah). But NOT James T Kirk. Picard though, certainly. And Spock, yes. Eastwood, yes. Willis, yes. Woodie, definitely, after his showing in Zombieland, along with Murray.
4. Has there actually been a good ‘ZOMG it’s the end of teh wurld!!1!’ film that you can think of?
The Walking Dead series on AMC is surprisingly good, and I don’t normally like zombie shows. And I did enjoy Zombiland.
5. Kids’ movie you actually like.
Lots: Despicable Me, Toy Story, Muppets Take Manhattan, The Princess Bride, The Sword In The Stone, Monsters Inc, Finding Nemo, most things Wallace and Grommit, …
1. Name a band who sound nothing like their name.
the growlers maybe??they don’t growl that much, me thinks.
2. Era you romanticise the most.
most probably the 80s in general.
3. Of all the people saving the world in disaster movies, who would you most want on the case if you had the choice.
Harrison Ford sounds like the best choice.
4. Has there actually been a good ‘ZOMG it’s the end of teh wurld!!1!’ film that you can think of?
28 days later. i also liked “the legend” .
5. Kids’ movie you actually like.
looooots. all of Harry Potter, Monster’s Inc, Princess Mononoke
thanks for the ideas, people, next week is going to be “watching kid’s movies week”
and i never liked jeff goldblum.
Yeah Harrison Ford never seems to lose at anything. And I don’t particularly like Jeff Goldblum, it’s just that he never really manages to convey actual terror on screen, so the situations he gets into never really seem all that scary.
1. Half Man Half Biscuit, to revive an earlier thread.
2. The Spanish Civil War. The First World War. Aspects of the Second. The late 1970s. Acid house. Fuck it- much of the 20th C.
3.Zooeey whatshername.
4. No.
5. E.T. If that’s a kids’ movie. Otherwise I do quite like the Toy Story trilogy.
The tagline for Zooey Deschanel’s new telly program is “Simply Adorkable”. Twee-er and more annoying than a cardigans, hairclips and Belle & Sebastian convention. I suppose anything involving Belle & Sebastian has implied cardigans and hairclips though.
1. 1000 violins
2. 1977
3. Arthur fowler
4. Village of the dammed
5. Jungle book….obviously
And
The Proclaimers and the weather prophets…and the redskins.
1. Name a band who sound nothing like their name.
When I heard Blitzen Trapper, I’m thinking 80s metal.
2. Era you romanticise the most.
1920s.
3. Of all the people saving the world in disaster movies, who would you most want on the case if you had the choice.
Samuel L. Jackson should be tired enough of the world in disaster, so he’d probably deal with it.
4. Has there actually been a good ‘ZOMG it’s the end of teh wurld!!1!’ film that you can think of?
Soylent Green is morbid enough for that.
5. Kids’ movie you actually like.
Miyazaki seems like such an easy answer I’ll go with the weirdest one I can think of – Baby’s Day Out.