Friday is Kinda Tardy, Sorry
Blech, it’s late and I am only just sitting down at my desk, so apologies for being a little behind on things. I didn’t sleep in or anything, I promise, I’ve just been running around like a blue-arsed fly doing assorted domestic shit.
Mrs. Toad kindly reminded me that, as well as a record label and a bunch of bands, I also happen to have a wife so this weekend I might make a bit of an effort to be a slightly more attentive husband that I might have been recently. Apart from recording with Dolfinz on Saturday of course. But umm… well, a fella has responsibilities you understand.
It’s a gorgeous day, too. One of those chilly, clear-as-a-bell days you get at this time of year. The angle of the sun when you’re this far North, even in the middle of the day, makes driving a bit of a challenge, but the clear, white light is a lovely, lovely thing.
Anyhow, let’s get fivesing shall we, and remember that is the day one de-lurks and says hello. Because, erm, well what other way is there to waste the afternoon before pub time. Well, you could always try this I suppose: Cliff Richard Dying Inside.
1. Favourite Bond film.
2. Most cringeworthy Bond moment.
3. Phrase or saying you just don’t hear these days.
4. What percentage of a fuck do you give about the announcement of the Brits nominations?
5. Which celebrity looks the most dead behind the eyes to you?
The Selecter – Too Much Pressure
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The Pop Rivets – Lambrettavespascoota
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Sham 69 – George Davis is Innocent
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1. Controversially I’m going to go Brosnan-era – Goldeneye.
2. The casting of Madonna and general involvement in Die Another Day.
3. This rationing is tough, isn’t it?
4. About 0.7%, noting PJ Harvey’s involvement. *awaits tutting that accompanies any PJ reference on Song, by Toad*
5. Bob Holness.
Sorry, too soon?
1. Hmm, really not sure. In some ways Moonraker, for sheer lunacy. But maybe Goldfinger or Thunderball. But I kind of liked License to Kill actually – I think Dalton was a woefully underrated Bond.
2. Halle Berry in the bikini. Awful. In fact Pierce Brosnan’s flirting may have been even more painful than Roger Moore’s.
3. Calling people ‘old stick’.
4. 4.5%. I am mildly surprised that Michael Kiwanuka was nominated, but that’s about it.
5. Lana Del Rey.
First? Back of the net.
1. My head says Casino Royale, my heart says any of the Connery ones, but my inner child loves On Her Majesty’s Secret Service.
2. The “I thought Christmas only came once a year” line, if only because they named the character just for that one joke.
3. Watch out for that white dog shit.
4. The what’s?
5. Katie “Jordan” Price, surely?
Not first AGAIN? Fucking hell.
Goldeneye was indeed good, although Xenia Onatopp was a bit too overdone. Izabella Scorupco on the other hand…! And Sean Bean cast as the exact same character he has played in almost everything ever.
1. Tricky, but I’m going to go with For Your Eyes Only. A slightly more gritty Roger effort.
2. Any scene where he bonks in front of his superiors.
3. Bonk
4. 0% (Actually, more like 1.5%)
5. Pretty much everyone in Guliver’s Travels (Jack Black version) It’s a pile of wank and all the cast (except Black and James Corden) have that “What the hell am I doing in the shit?” glaze.
Christmas Jones. Indeed one of the most legendarily awful characters in the entire run of films.
I almost put Bob Holness but thought better of it.
In related news, I learnt to play the lick from Baker St on my sax this week.
Ah yes, Izabella Scorupco. Pity we’ve not seen more of her, she was rather lovely.
1. Goldfinger ( any other answer with the possible exception of Dr No is just plain wrong)
2. Octopussy – all of it
3. Fancy a shag ? (that may just be me though)
4. errrr none
5> is that like which celebrity do you hate the most ? Cos that’s a bloody long list.
And more importantly, thanks for the Meteors – brings back a lot of memories
I’m sorry, Goldfinger is by far the worst 60s Bond and up there with the worst of all time.
Steve, you’re bloody kidding.
Octopussy was awful, right up there with the most overblown Pierce Brosnan nonsense.
1. From Russia With Love.
2. All of Die Another Day, specifically the horrible PS2 quality kite surfing on his ice skimmer thing’s roof. Or the invisible car. Or Halle Berry speaking.
3. Rinky dink.
4. Hadn’t noticed.
5. Sheryl Cole, fixed middle distance stare, unmoving face, like she just came back from Nam.
So much there and I’d forgotten to mention Madonna too!
I am not, I think it’s awful.
1. probably Live and Let Die, but Goldeneye for the N64 remains the best piece of Bond work
2. any time Roger Moore got laid
3. did you see what happened in Neighbours?
4. 0%. anything that celebrates Ed Sheeran is a fucking disgrace to humankind
5. Adelle
Madonna was in a Bond film?
1. Goldfinger
2. meh can’t remember that many details from Bond films – life’s too short
3. “Welcome to another fantastic episode of Later with Jools Holland”
4. could plead total ignorance but they were interviewing someone from the Vaccines this morning on 5live so can’t pretend I don’t know…
5. James Corden
Lana del Rey’s actually the best answer for “dead behind the eyes” esp considering its meant to be “sexy” **heaves**
Slackdad, my feelings exactly. She’s looks like she spends her whole day on Rohipnol, just so she won’t have to remember.
“Sheryl Cole, fixed middle distance stare, unmoving face, like she just came back from Nam.”
Very good answer.
Vernon Kaye is another one, come to think of it.
It’s becoming quite evident how long it’s been since I watched any telly, isn’t it.
1. The Spy Who Loved Me, good song.
2. Quite a lot of the shagging is pretty cringeworthy.
3. “I value the opinion of the internet”
4. I didn’t know they’d been announced. Zero then.
5. Tess Daly. At this point I think she might me an animatronic puppet.
1. Goldfinger. Though I think the Living Daylights is underrated.
2. Octopussy has dated badly. Licence To Kill is poor. A View To A Kill loses its plot when Grace Jones kicks that guy out of the airship.
3. ‘What ho, old boy!’
4. About 2%.
5. Katie Price. If I were a militant feminist I’d say she’d put the feminist movement back centuries. Hell, I might just say that, anyway.
Tess Daly – does she not have to grin through Bruce Forsyth’s dreadful puns? You’d have to be dead to manage that.
The Spy Who Loved Me is good, but I honestly haven’t seen it in ages.
Yes to The Living Daylights too. A lot of it was filmed in Vienna when we lived there, which was moderately exciting, although I don’t remember seeing any of it actually happen. The place where he shoots her cello is the Volksoper (the people’s opera house) which was right round the corner from where we lived at the time.
Grin through Forsyth’s puns, AND be married to professional cuntface Vernon Kaye. I almost pity the poor woman.
1. Moonraker. It still holds the world record for the largest number of zero gravity wires in one scene.
2. “I thought Christmas only comes once a year,” from The World Is Not Enough.
3. 23 Skidoo!
4. Is that like the British Grammys?
5. Kristen Stewart.
Kristen Stewart, that’s a good one, she does indeed look like a total zombie.
And yes, the British Grammy’s. And equally irrelevant, although as has been mentioned, it’s an award for commercial success rather than artistic merit of course, so has to be taken on that basis.
I think the BRITs could be improved by making up a shitload of mental categories like the Grammies and making everyone who has to go site there for about a week while they read them all out.
1. I’m not a big Bond fan, but I like The World Is Not Enough if only to hear my 8 year old belt out the title song…badly.
2. The exploding guy in LALD.
3. I know you are but what am I?
4. Keanu Reeves
5. 1% —just to see what everyone wears.
A shitload of mental categories? They do? Like what?
I’ve been googling this and apparently they overhauled a number of the categories (probably because people were starting to fall asleep).
Apparently just some of the categories they used to have were:
Best Jazz Fusion Performance
Best Jazz Vocal Performance, Female
Best Jazz Vocal Performance, Male
Best Jazz Vocal Performance, Duo or Group
Best R&B Instrumental Performance
Best Spoken Word Album for Children
Best Classical Crossover Album
Best Concept Music Video
Best Norteño Album
Best Tejano Album
Beggars belief…
1. Goldeneye if only for Alan Cumming’s Russian accent
2. In You Only Live Twice:
Random Japanese Baddy: “In Japan, men Come First, women come second”
James: “I might just retire here”
3. “Can I Have a P please Bob?”
4. 0% but would’ve been 3 or 4% had Ed Sheeran not been nominated
5. George Michael
Yeah, I’m kind of surprised no-one has thought to revive Blockbuster yet.
1. Moonraker.
2. For your eys only.
3. “That’s Fresh!”
4. No idea what the Brits nominations is…0%
5. Pick a Kardashian?
I’ve taken Bond advice from mrs c
Man with the golden gun
pierce brosnans hairy friend on his chest
Remember to set the video
100%. I shall be cheering on the Vaccines with every ounce of my being
Hugh grant
1. I love Casino Royale, but as someone else said Goldeneye64 is the best piece of bond cannon
2. Most cringey Bond moment, the Goldeneye: Rougue Agent game on gamecube etc was horrendous and the main character had an actual golden eye!
3. “I can feel it in my bones”
4. None what so ever
5. Jim’s already said Tess Daly, but yeah her! I honestly think that she’s made of wood!