Five For Friday – 5th April

Welcome back to the Friday Fives, where I add some random shit from the internet to another page on the internet, and you get to chip in in the comments section with yet more random shit. Welcome to Friday’s Random Shit-O-Rama.

Tomorrow is BAD FUN, remember, with Magic Eye, Fur Hood and Peter playing at Henry’s Cellar Bar. We’ve just uploaded a new Magic Eye video, actually, from the Beer vs. Records/Split 12″ sessions. It’s only a fiver in and doors are at half seven, so please go along and keep Ian company, as he’s running this gig for us.

1. Test Your Poo

That charming little ditty above was masterminded by Young Ian, otherwise known around these parts as The Tadpole. It has a very serious message about regular screening for bowel cancer, particularly in the over-fifties, but there is a darker side to the song which I may or may not be allowed to go into: the fact that it was recorded with the help of a good deal of Song, by Toad Records’ recording equipment, and that the man who got his hands dirty (YESSS! Pun very much fucking intended!) was an unnamed label mega-celeb. NOW WASH YOUR HANDS!

2. It May or May Not Be Okay to Say Vagina When Discussing Vaginas in Science Class

Apparently parents in Idaho have been complaining about a science teacher using the term ‘vagina’ when discussing, erm, actual vaginas in science class. A class which their children already have permission not to attend if they think learning about human sexual reproduction is going to scar their delicate souls for life.  The best bit about this ridiculous story is the response from the school board. Instead of saying ‘we laughed our asses off and threw the letters of complaint in the bin’, they came out with this: “It is highly unlikely it would end with his dismissal… Maybe a letter of reprimand from the school board.” Reprimanded? For using the word vagina? In sexual education class? What the fuck word was he supposed to use, then? Sin funnel?

3. Song of the week: No Christmas While I’m Talking by The Walkmen

I happened to find a copy of Bows + Arrows by The Walkmen on vinyl while we were in Austin, and I am honestly delighted. I love this album. I didn’t realise it at the time necessarily – there were lots of albums I loved knocking around at the time – but this is probably the one album from 2000-2010 that I go back to the most. And it may be known for wild, raging songs like The Rat, but there’s a lot of brooding, menacing slow burners on this album too. Sigh. Ah, what a record!

4. Ugly Belgian Houses


Yes, you know I’m really into my architecture blogs at the moment, but for all the wonderful things out there, there are some utter abominations as well. A lot of them seem to be in Holland and Belgium, where stunning old buildings seem to go hand in hand with thousands of truly horrific modern ones. This collection of ugly Belgian houses is, if I am allowed to combine these two terms, spectacularly underwhelming.

5. Yes, More Tedious Politics


There are so many things I could rant about in politics today, from George Osbourne’s disabled parking space bollocks, to the bedroom tax, to the Mail and the fucking British government exploiting the actions of a psychopath to push their anti-welfare agenda… but in the end Jon Stewart wins, as generally he should. As far as I am concerned, living in a country that looks after the weakest and most vulnerable of its citizens, and where there is relatively balanced income equality IS fucking ‘freedom and civilisation’.

And I know it seems I am always hammering at Americans when I come out with this kind of thing, but it is only because I read a lot of American news sources and I don’t actually have the equivalent UK quotes or articles a lot of the time. But I am under no illusion that this is an American problem and not a British one. We are in exactly the same boat over here, but with a fucking Tory government in power, to make things worse.

And in case you aren’t pissed off enough already, now I’ve brought this up, here is what some people have to say to Iain Duncan Smith’s risible claim that he could live off £53 per week.

More: , ,