Song, by Toad

This is one of those weeks where I think that I really haven’t got much on, but then I look at every single evening and they all look jammed full of jobs to do.  Gripe whinge piss moan etc etc etc…

Anyhow, as well as various other little crappy jobs, I have to collect our two Pioneer amps from the amp repair shop, which is good news.  We keep on burning these fuckers out by playing things far too loud, and so we’ve been without music in our house for the last week, apart from a shitey pair of speakers we plug into the computer.  These, whilst just about serviceable in an emergency, do not, frankly, cut the mustard, so I am delighted to be fetching the big bastard noisy ones again so we can turn shit up nice and loud once more.

Ours aren’t particularly expensive either, but apparently people go crazy for this Pioneer Silver stuff.  There are collectors and all sorts, and we saw a couple of very nice ones indeed changing hands on eBay for hunnerts of pounds.  One to stay well clear of whilst drunk, I think it’s safe to say.

Tuesday 27th July 2010: Dum Dum Girls, Jesus H. Foxx & My Tiny Robots at Cabaret Voltaire.

The Dum Dum Girls play slightly lo-fi indie pop, with an emphasis on the pop.  There are lots of ahh-ahh choruses and things like that, and the guitars are nice and growly.  Jesus H. Foxx are also coming out of hiding for this one, which will be a nice treat for us all!

Dum-Dum Girls – I Will Be

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Thursday 29th July 2010: Trapped in Kansas & Yahweh split single launch, with the Japanese War Effort at the Wee Red Bar.

Gerry Loves Records win at vinyl.  Their last release, apart from being a pleasure to listen to, is also a pleasure to own.  They put real thought into the packaging of the thing and make the whole object something you really, really want to own.  This is their second release, and given how the label go about their business I really, really hope it all goes well for them.

Saturday 31st July 2010: eagleowl & Conquering Animal Sound play at the We Sink Ships: Elements short film screening at the Wee Red Bar.

This kind of cross-media stuff doesn’t happen nearly enough around here, but then I suppose a straightforward gig with three bands and some beer is a lot simpler to slap together, whereas this kind of thing requires a little more thought, I guess.  Elements is, I think, a film put together by Sleepysoul productions using a combination of their own images and work by Heidi Kuisma and Neil Milton (who are We Sink Ships), but I couldn’t swear to it.  Whatever it is though, it sounds like a really good evening, not least because whatever the film is the two bands involved are really good.

eagleowl – Laughter (Toad Session)

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You know those coppers in police programmes who stop worrying about catching criminals and worry more about box-ticking, stats and generally keeping within the process and staying out of trouble?  For the last couple of weeks I have been the record label equivalent of exactly that.

For the last couple of weeks I have been going through two years of paperwork, trying to add up costings for releases, getting the overall accounts in order for my tax return, and even sorting out our domestic filing.  We are so shit with post that I found Christmas cards from 2008 unopened at the bottom of one pile – we just don’t open stuff, ever.  I’m not sure what we’re thinking; maybe that if it’s urgent someone will phone us eventually.

Anyhow, the label’s sums have been condensed down to one gigantic spreadsheet with a page for each release and a summary page of each year’s overall accounts.  I’ve got every receipt for everything I’ve ever spent neatly ordered into folders and filed away in a big old ring binder.  Even the stationery and boxes of stock in the office are stacked away neatly and clearly labelled.

Anyhow, as desperately banal as that little story sounds, believe it or not I feel brilliant.  I feel organised.  I feel ready.  A little like that copper I alluded to in the first paragraph, irrespective of the actual music we’re releasing, just being this ship shape and Bristol fashion makes me feel like a proper record label.  Yes, I know.  Sad, sad stuff.  I am off to iron my underpants just to feel better about myself.

So now that I have confessed to my dirty secrets there can surely be no reason to be shy about this week’s Friday Five, so please de-lurk and say hello.  As ever, once you’ve added your five feel free to talk as much bollocks as you please for the rest of the day.  Sorry to anyone running a company, but that’s just what Friday is.

1. What is the most ridiculously lame task from which you derive the most satisfaction?
2. And which one can you still not stand?
3. What is the oldest piece of unopened post in your house?
4. What giveaway sign makes you ignore a letter?
5. Which boring job do you guiltily always allow your partner/mum/colleagues to do, despite knowing that they hate it too?

The Detroit Cobras – He Did It

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The Von Bondies – Shallow Grave

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Ian Dury & the Blockheads – The Ballad of the Sulphate Strangler

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Liars – We Live NE of Compton

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The Damned – Thrill Kill

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[Edit: The Mammoeth album launch night and my pal Morgan's first ever gig ever anywhere ever have been added to the bottom of the listings.  Sorry chaps.]

That Summertime music wasteland has very much settled on Edinburgh in the last couple of weeks, leaving absolutely sweet fuck all on the calendar on a boringly regular basis.

Fortunately, August is shaping up to be very interesting indeed, with the return of the ear-caressing, liver-punchingly contradictory Retreat Festival now booked in for August 28th and 29th.

Whenever anyone mentions retreat I can’t stop myself thinking of Admiral Ackbar saying ‘I saw it.  All craft prepare to retreat.’ in Return of the Jedi.  Erm, but, er, don’t worry.  I am going to take my pills and have a lie down.

Friday 23rd July 2010: Don McGlashan & Daniel Abercrombie at Cabaret Voltaire.

I first found out about Don McGlashan back in about 1995 or 6 when his band The Mutton Birds played King Tut’s in Glasgow.  One of my flatmates had a pal from school visiting and we were at a bit of a loss as to how to entertain her, so we took a flier on a gig at Tut’s on the back of little more than a couple of positive paragraphs we found in the local press.

It was an ill-considered and entirely spontaneous expedition, but we all absolutely loved the band.  McGlashan himself would occasionally play a euphonium on stage, and as well as adding to the music, it added a lot to the intrigue of the live performance.

I have to confess I have no idea what he’s been up to since the last Mutton Birds album I bought (back in something like 1998 or something like that) but I remember this particular discovery with real affection.

The Mutton Birds – The Heater

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The Mutton Birds – Envy of Angels

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Saturday 24th July 2010: Mammoeth album launch at the Wee Red Bar.

Russell from Mammoeth’s previous incarnation was one of the first times a local band got in touch with me to ask me to review their music.  I think Alex Cornish and Rob St. John were the others.  Anyway, some three years later, here is Russell’s debut album, and the debut release on Mini50 Records – apologies for missing it out the first time around.

Mammoeth – Trigonometry (Live on Fresh Air Radio)

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Sunday 25th July 2010: The Barrett Wise 3 & The Janet Effect at the Roxy Art House.

The Janet Effect are my friend Morgan’s band.  I remember being in Holland in 1997 when he picked up a guitar for the first time, and after all these years he has finally got his shit together to start a band!  And do a gig!  I know!  They may be absolute shite, they may be brilliant, I have absolutely no idea, but I am going to be along anyway, whatever happens.

Well this week I shall mostly be entertaining my parents, who are taking the opportunity to inspect Toad Hall as a suitable place for the raising of yet-to-be-considered grandchildren.

There may yet be some opportunity for a spot of truancy however, as I am DJing at the Charity Baw on Saturday.  I wish I actually had the right accent to say that properly, but with my accent saying things like “baws”, or the far better “yer maw’s got baws and yer da’ likes it” just sounds stupid unfortunately.  It’s the biggest chore of living in a foreign country: you pick up the slang, but not the accent, and end up making a tit of yourself all the bloody time.

The only consolation is that it has happened to my brother as well, and he now uses American slang whilst sounding like he works for the BBC, which is hilarious!

Saturday 17th July 2010: Charity Baw at the Roxy, with King Creosote, Ballboy, FOUND, Three Blind Wolves and more…

The lineup’s great, but I know for a fact that at least one of the people DJing at this event is an idiot, but Kenny from King Creosote and Gav from OnTheFly will probably play some good tunes at least.  I haven’t actually seen King Creosote for ages now, and the upstairs room at the Roxy is about as atmospheric a place as I can imagine to break that duck.

King Creosote – Twin Tub Twin

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Sunday 18th July 2010: Endor, Gdansk & Lady North at Sneaky Pete’s.

Endor have a new album in the works, and Gdansk have always been good, so I recommend this.  This should be a night of good, old-fashioned guitary indie music

Gdansk – Kicking a Television

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Ah the cooling touch of sweet, clean porcelain.  And it may well be hot in our house, but dammit I have never experienced such an unpleasant sleeping experience as being baked alive inside a tent when the sun comes up as fiercely as it did this weekend at Glastonbury. Dear God almighty that was a nasty way to wake up, especially with a vindictive little bastard of a hangover kicking away at the inside of your head.

We didn’t do too badly for facilities actually – it’s the single greatest advantage of going to festivals with a band – but I am reminded of a daft little toilet story from my old job (no, STOP IT, it’s nothing like that, honestly) which I have intended to mention for a while and always forgotten.

Scotland is a very long way north, a very, very long way north in fact, and this means that during the Winter you arrive and leave work in the dark.  It can be lighter in the mornings, but by the time four in the afternoon rolls around, it is generally pitch fucking black outside.  Add to that the fact that we used to do most of our work on computers, even when the sun was shining the blinds were generally pulled right down so that people could see their monitors.

So yes, it was quite a dark place to work, with one glorious exception: you guessed it, the men’s toilet.  I’m not kidding.  That side of the building was south-facing so, you could be sitting in a dingy office with the blinds drawn all day, arrive and depart in the dark, but every once in a while, on one of those beautifully clear sunny days that Scotland has, you would walk into the loo and be confronted by this blaze of sunshine.  It was great.  It just lifted your spirits.

Now I’ve managed to tell you that little story in total sincerity and with a (largely) straight face, do you think I can trust you to be grown ups about it in the comments?  No, probably not.   Honestly, you people…

Thursday 1st July 2010: The Last Battle single launch at the Wee Red Bar, with Meursault and Jonnie Common.

The Last Battle’s new album is due out on 17 Seconds Records, and this is the first single from that record.  They play quite traditional folk, with cello and lovely male/female vocals but this song is a bit rockier in that ‘Christ alive, is that an electric guitar?’ sense, and a good, beefy introduction to the band.  I have a feeling the Meursault might be solo acoustic, but I am not entirely sure.

The Last Battle – Ward 119

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Thursday 1st July 2010: Born to Be Wide Booking Agent Special at the Electric Circus.

To be brutally frank, my little experience in the music industry has taught me that the following is as close to a cast iron rule as there exists: labels and PR, cannot make you famous, only you can make you famous.  You can only do that if you play as often and as well as possible, and in doing so build up enough momentum and buzz around your band that everyone else, be it press, radio, fans, whatever, absolutely has to take notice, or they simply wouldn’t be doing their jobs.  There are exceptions of course, there always are, but that is pretty close to a hard and fast rule.  Booking tours and getting gigs is far from easy however, I’ve done it myself and it was shit and I was shit at it, so I strongly recommend you come along to this and pick the brains of some professional booking agents.

Thursday 1st July 2010: Stringjammer at the Roxy Room.

This may be a little more related to the likes of blues and traditional folk than most of you are used to, but I think there’s a lot of good stuff going on in Stringjammer’s music.  Long Road Home, on their MySpace page, is a case in point, and there is more there like that.  There’s a lot of experimental and strange stuff in there, but they obviously started from quite traditional base material before they went and made it all weird, so I think this one should appeal to readers of Toad.

Saturday 3rd July 2010: Kid Canaveral album launch at the Roxy Room, with Come on Gang! and the Scottish Enlightenment.

Tickets for this can be bought from the band here, and I recommend you do so. Kid Canaveral are not exactly a fashionable band – they’re not even close to being arch enough for that – but they have an amazingly consistent talent for writing infectious indie-pop melodies.   Also, The Scottish Enlightenment – I might finally get a chance to see the bastards play!

Kid Canaveral – Stretching the Line

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This is the last of the sessions Ruth and I did on our Fresh Air show this year, and it can finally, finally be posted here for your listening and viewing pleasure.  Apologies to Russell from Mammoeth for the wait, but given he has a an album launch coming in a few weeks I don’t think the timing is too bad, actually.

Nascent is being released on Mini50 Records, the label which Russell himself helps to run, and there are launch gigs coming up on July 24th at the Wee Red in Edinburgh and 25th at the Classic Grand in Glasgow.

I’m actually talking to Fresh Air about potentially getting some stuff done during the Festival actually.  There are a few bands I am going to try and interview and potentially get in for sessions, so keep an eye on things over August.

Mammoeth Fresh Air Session

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Mammoeth – Scramble Eggs (Live on FreshAir.org.uk)

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Mammoeth – Trigonometry (Live on FreshAir.org.uk)

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Mammoeth – I’m Glad That I Died Today (Live on FreshAir.org.uk)

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Mammoeth – Wendy House (Live on FreshAir.org.uk)

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Umm.. nada, absolutely nada this week.  Not one single gig I would be likely to go to myself, which is a bit unusual.  Still, I am going to Glastonbury for the first time, so this not entirely a bad thing from my perspective.  As a good friend of mine pointed out: ‘Giving up your job and then off to Glastonbury – it’s like the end of your adulthood’.  And he’s not far wrong.

Oh yes, giving up my job, did I mention that?  Well yes, as of Wednesday I will be a full-time Toad.  Or ToadPRO as someone called it, not that it will entail being much more professional I wouldn’t have thought.  Still, I am hugely fucking excited, not to be giving up my job actually, which I have always enjoyed, but the idea of being able to tackle all this Toad bollocks head on and really do it properly is a really exciting prospect as far as I am concerned.  More on this later, though.

Last week I strayed wildly outside the list format for my Monday listings, which caused howls of upset from the cheap seats, and this week will be no different.  There are a couple of interesting things happening, notably a Great Junction Street Music Studios showcase at Henry’s Cellar Bar on Saturday 26th.  I know nothing at all about the bands involved, but I really think this kind of event is a good idea.  If you are looking to get your band off the ground and start finding an audience, club together with your mates, put on a gig, invite all your friends and give it a go.

Alternatively, there’s the Penguins Kill Polar Bears EP launch tour passing through Scotland this week.  I may not like the music myself, but these guys are doing a really good job of  getting themselves noticed on an entirely DIY basis, and the more of that that happens around here the better.  I always admire people who just get on with it, rather than whining about what other people should be doing for them, and this band certainly deserve your support.

Can you call a list comprising one single item a list at all?  And it’s not really a gig either.  Ah well, to soothe the agitation of those I upset last week, here is my list for this week:

Thursday 24th June 2010: Nick Cave speaks at Canongate Books‘ Irregular night at the Roxy Art House.

To say that Nick Cave is one of my heroes would be something of an understatement, and I am grinding my teeth down to fucking stumps with frustration at the fact that I will be in out of town on Thursday night when he comes to do a reading down at the Roxy.  Arse monkeys.

And to make up for the lack of giggage, I have a special present for you all, courtesy of Jon from Virgin of the Birds.  He played the Toad New Year’s House Gig this year, and seems to have developed a bit of a taste for Meursault, to the extent that he is one of the first people in weeks to actually bother to spell the band’s name correctly.  Anyhow, Jon sent through this rather lovely cover of Crank Resolutions last night, and it’s great, so I thought I would share it.

Virgin of the Birds – Crank Resolutions (Meursault Cover)

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Well, I am now eight working days away from shiftless unemployment becoming a wildly successful entrepreneur, and as mental a move as this might be I am very, very excited to get going.  I am an obssessive type, as you probably know by now, and I need projects to get just a little bit too focussed on, so this should be perfect.

Anyhow, the inital lineup for the Edge Festival has been announced.  So far so moderately interesting, with bands like Eels, The Low Anthem, Broken Records and Beirut on the bill.  These things tend to get better as they get closer, so I reckon that’s a pretty bloody solid start – now we just need to talk Eels into a Toad Session!

Eels – Not Ready Yet

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In other news, The Pop Cop (see image, but with added sexy) is back online.  After Google decided that simply being accused of something was at least as good as actually doing it and deleted the Pop Cop’s entire original site there was an extensive campaign on Jason’s behalf, but Google did precisely nothing.  I know the appalling DMCA obliges them to remove material accused of copyright violation (not actually in violation of copyright, you understand, merely accused of being so) but it does not dictate their customer service policy, and I have to say their ‘fuck off customers’ approach is an interesting one.  Not entirely novel of course, the music industry have been at it for years, but interesting nevertheless.

Oh, and in terms of festivals, the Leith Festival is now underway, with eagleowl and Blueflint at the Village tonight.  That’s a really nice venue actually, and I really do recommend getting along if you can.  The rest of the musical events can be found here, so have a dig through them – Leith is by some distance my favourite place for a pint in and around Edinburgh, and the Leith Festival will hopefully be less overrun by Southern students and their zany antics than the Edinburgh Festival.  Zany fucking antics.  Yeuch.

Oh, and at the Roxy on Wednesday 16th we have Pekko Kappi and Alasdair Roberts in another Braw Trails gig -  a collaboration between Tracer Trails and Braw Gigs, as well as Lissie, Alan Pownall and The Boy Who Trapped the Sun at the Electric Circus.

Alan Pownall – The Others

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And then on Thursday we have El Mató A Un Policía Motorizado, Debutant and Plastic Animals at the Voodoo Rooms, which also looks rather interesting. And that, Toaderinos, is that.

It’s just a pity I can’t play the bass guitar, or mine too could be a life of not having as cool a beard as Ian, being a bit scared that Andy Keeney actually might be dangerous, wishing I could play as many instruments as Rory or getting that stare from Jamie when I did something wrong.

What the fuck am I talking about, you ask?  Well our dear friends Broken Records are looking for a new bass guitar player.  Gill (the nice man in the picture above)  has departed to set up his own business, and as much as the band are thrilled for him (as am I) and wish him the best of luck, it does mean they need a new bass player.  Here is the classified ad they sent me (I’m starting to feel like a bit of a lonely hearts club):

Broken Records are looking for new full-time member to join us on the bass guitar. We’ve just finished work on our new album scheduled for release in the Autumn on 4AD and will be touring the UK and internationally to coincide with this. If you’re interested then get in touch at brokenrecordsband *at* gmail.com and tell us a bit about yourself (if we don’t know you already!): previous experience, what music you like, contact details, etc. We are looking for someone to primarily play bass, but a good proficiency on the guitar will be useful too, and let us know if you play any other instruments. A love of Hüsker Dü and Peter, Paul and Mary not essential.

So there you go, all joking aside, Broken Records need a new bass players, and if you would like the job, get in touch.

And as for the Friday Fives, well Fridays are always the days for a de-lurking amnesty, so please stick your noses out of the woodwork and say hello.  Stick your noses out of the woodwork?  What the fuck does that even mean?  Ignore me.  Answer the five questions.  Talk pish afterwards.  The usual.

1. Which band would you most like to join?
2. Favourite bass player of all time.
3. If you were quitting a successful rock ‘n’ roll band, what would it be to do?
4. What one spiteful comeback would you direct at press/fans/band mates (careful!)?
5. Which band would you most like to storm off from in a massive flounce?

Broken Records – Lies (Early Demo)

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Broken Records – And They All Fell Into the Sea (Toad Session)

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Broken Records – All So Tired (From Out On the Water acoustic EP)

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Broken Records – Nearly Home (From debut When the Earth Begins to Part)

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Broken Records – Aleko (Live at the Toad New Year’s House Gig)

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As the sun makes a rather enthusiastic apperance at long fucking last, and our garden finally begins to bloom, I can think of little I would like to do so little as sitting in a dingy club listening to whiney indie kids complain about how shit their life is and how no-one really understands them.

The Edinburgh weather is depressingly fickle however, so presumably by this afternoon it will be absolutely bucketing it down with rain, but for now the only thing I would really recommend you do this week is spend as much time outside as possible, shunning all music funs and enjoying the sunshine where you can get it.  For the last five years I have been here we’ve had glorious Mays and stunning Junes and just as you start to think that this year it might just happen, it all turns to shit until early October, when we get a couple of pleasant weeks before the inevitable descent into eight months of fucking darkness once more.

This Sunday is of course the All Day Scottish Special at the Old Queen’s Head in London, where local (and less local) favourites Yusuf Azak, Rob St. John, eagleowl and Meursault will be playing at what is the official London launch party for Meursault’s new album All Creatures Will Make Merry.  Any London Toads, it would be lovely to see you there.

Thursday 3rd June 2010: Glissando, Debutant & Field Mouse at the Roxy Room.

Slanted and Enchanted promotions make their Edinburgh debut, with this three-act bill at the Roxy Room.  Phil from Debutant is currently working on his debut album (there’s got to be an hilarious pun in there somewhere, I just can’t be arsed to think of it) at the moment and if his Facebook status updates are anything to go by, there could well be a self-released CD-R available at this show.  Glissando are doing this tour as a two-piece, I believe, but don’t quote me on that because I am not entirely certain.

Debutant – Definition

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Thursday 3rd June 2010: Teenage Fanclub at the Picture House.

Erm, is it permitted for a Scottish-based indie kid to confess that he was never that into Teenage Fanclub?  Well I wasn’t, not that I listened to them enough to ever really know, but they are famous and they are popular and they get namechecked by bands all the time, and they are also playing in Edinburgh this week, so I thought I might as well mention it.

Kid Canaveral – Teenage Fanclub Song

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Friday 4th June 2010: The Unthanks at the Queen’s Hall.

Another famous band I am listing more because they seem to have had a lot of attention recently than that I am personally all that fussed about them.  I’ve heard them do some brilliant stuff in their previous incarnation as the Winterset, but know absolutely nothing of their Mercury-bothering recent work.

Rachel Unthank & the Winterset – Blue Bleezin’ Blind Drunk

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Sunday 6th June 2010: The Wave Pictures at Sneaky Pete’s.

Ah, now this is more like it.  The Wave Pictures are one of the best bands in Britain at the moment, as far as I personally am concerned.  They have a new EP out rather soon – The Sweetheart EP – and their knack for simple tunes and bittersweet lyrics is clearly in the rudest of health.  We even had the opportunity to record a Toad Session with them this weekend, but as most of the team who actually record the sessions will be down in London that was sadly impossible.

The Wave Pictures – Canary Wharf

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