Song, by Toad

Posts tagged alabama 3

Matthew Young

Five Funks on Friday

Sick Kid

I am currently off work sick, which sucks donkey balls.  Even worse than being sick of course is actually having to phone in sick.  I get into a conundrum – I actually do feel like shit, but I don’t sound like I do at all, so how the hell do I convey the fact that I am actually telling the truth over the phone.  In one sense I feel that seeing as I really am ill I shouldn’t have to try, and then risk sounding deliberately perky, which seems like the wrong approach, but then trying to actually sound ill probably sounds forced and even less convincing.  So I think I generally just end up sounding indecisive, which is crap.  Maybe from now on I should aim to only contract illnesses which leave an obvious audible signature in my voice, like bronchitis or something like that.

It would be easier if you could just tell the person who answers the phone and bugger off back to bed of course, but we aren’t allowed to do that, we actually have to speak to the director in charge of whatever project we’re working on and explain to them, which has the rather unnerving effect of making you feel like a naughty schoolboy.  I’m thirty-three years old for fuck’s sake, why do I feel like I’ve been caught pissing in the plant pots?  Gah!

Anyway, there is going to have to be much delurking today as I am going to be asleep or in bed being a moaning baby for most of the day I am afraid.  As you can tell from recent threads, we’re a really nice, friendly bunch here and the chat, whilst obscure, is always the very epitome of good-natured.

It’s nice outisde too, and I don’t even have the gumption to go and sit in the garden with a nice cup of tea.  Moan moan moan.

1. Most unbelievable but genuine excuse you’ve ever had to make for missing work.
2. Worst thing about being off work sick.
3. Best thing about being off work sick.
4. Off sick munchie menu.
5. Bed or couch, for sleeping it off?

Alabama 3 – Too Sick to Pray

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The Sick Bed of Cuchuliann

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The Smiths – Still Ill

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Grandaddy – Pull the Curtains

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Eels – Hospital Food

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Fucking lurgy.

Matthew Young

Fvie Firady Fvareotuis

Shexy Mic

Apparently you can still read a sentence quite easily if the letters in the words are completely jumbled up, as long as the first and last letters in each word remain where they belong. Isn’t that nice.

I am nearly at the end of the unspeakable ordeal that is generating the Toad Records blog spam list. This entails going to the Hype Machine’s blog list, looking at what every single blog is posting and if they post stuff I like, emailing them with links to the Toad Records releases with a nice note saying something along the lines of ‘I hope you enjoy these and it would be lovely if you were interested in reviewing them’. The problem is that there are fucking thousands of blogs and going through this list is so tedious it’s untrue. Still, I’m as far as ‘t’ now, and it needs to be finished by this weekend because everything is officially released on Monday. Fuck I’m tired. I’ve been up until 3am every night this week working on this, with the exception of the Snow Patrol Frightened Rabbit gig on Tuesday (thanks Euan).

In other news, we just invested in a really, really nice vocal microphone for the Toad Sessions. When I say nice, I do mean nice as well, not just ’slightly nice’. It’s supposed to be a bloody grand’s worth, but we got it for under half that, so roll on the next Toad Session.

If you want to suggest the next Friday Favourites, just get in touch and let me know. This week the Five Friday Favourites come from our own dearest Tart, who left the following comment: “how about a Friday Five on what actually did help you all get sex: music, dialogue, scent, substance etc?”

1. Best pulling music.
2. Worst pulling approach that actually worked.
3. Apart from rohipnol, what should you give someone (food, drink or drug) to get into their underpants?
4. Best bit of chatting up you ever managed.
5. Coolest first date successfully executed.

Willie Nelson & Family – Good Hearted Woman

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Tom Waits – Burma Shave

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The Men The Couldn’t Hang – Dacing on the Pier

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The Lemonheads – Into Your Arms[audio http://www.matthewjamesyoung.com/sbt/TheLemonheads-IntoYourArms.mp3]
Alabama 3 – Bourgeoisie Blues

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Matthew Young

People Fucking Depress Me Today

Protesters in Lahore

Christ al-fucking-mighty I need to stay away from the fucking news.

“A person is smart. People are dumb, panicky, dangerous animals and you know it.” Men in Black was supposed to be a comedy with hilarious little aliens not biting social satire.

I can’t get over the complete fucking idiots raving on about the Knighthood for Salman Rushdie. The Pakistani Minster for Religious Affairs (could there be a job title that made huge helpings of bum-clownery more inevitable?) had this to say (from the Beeb):

“The West always wonders about the root cause of terrorism. Such actions [giving Sir Salman a knighthood] are the root cause of it. If someone commits suicide bombing to protect the honour of the Prophet Mohammad, his act is justified. If Britain doesn’t withdraw the award, all Muslim countries should break off diplomatic relations.”

He back-tracked on this later, but the British High Commisioner was actually summoned to the Ministry of Foreign Affairs to explain himself. And in any case, that nice little statement pretty well encapsulates the reaction of a sizeable number of hysterical nutters. Not ‘the Islamic World’ and not ‘Muslims’ but the fucking crazy ones who could well do with being told, to paraphrase Bill Hicks, that ‘If this bothers you I suggest taking a good look at the world in which we live and…
…shutting your fucking mouth.’

The Iranian government may be legendary nutjobs, but check this out, from this BBC report:

“This insulting, suspicious and improper act by the British government is an obvious example of fighting against Islam,” Iran’s Foreign Ministry Director for Europe, Ebrahim Rahimpour, was quoted as saying

There was also, with not a shred of detectable irony, this little gem from Britain’s first Muslim member of the House of Lords, Lord Ahmed (reported: here & here):

“Actually I was appalled to hear that Salman Rushdie had been given a knighthood, particularly when this man has been very divisive,” he said. “This man – as you can see – not only provoked violence around the world because of his writings, but there were many people that were killed around the world and honouring the man who has blood on his hands, sort of because of what he did, honouring him I think is going a bit too far.”

Salman Rushdie, that callous and brutal writer of books has blood on his hands? Well unless he gave himself a papercut whilst doing his research, that is one of the most idiotic statements I have ever heard. His statement basically says that if someone expresses an idea that makes someone so cross he goes out and kills someone to avenge his hurt feelings that the person who expressed the idea is to blame, rather than the person committing the killing. If he truly believes this, he is a irredeemable fuckwit.

Now I can hear cries of cultural relativism echoing through the internets as I speak – respect the difference between cultures, insulting someone’s religion is a serious thing, etc, etc. Bullshit, I’m afraid.

The fundamental difference between Western and radicalised (not all, obviously) Islamic society at the moment is very neatly embodied by this one issue. No matter how theocratic and bonkers Bush and Blair and his followers ever get accused of being, there are more books hugely offensive to Christian sensibilities published, without much more than a mild whinge, in these ostensibly Christian countries than there are books offensive to Islam. By orders of magnitude, I should imagine.

If you wanted a definition of fundamentalism, this can’t be far from it. Drawing the line between causing offence and actual harm is fucking obvious. There are reasons of expediency behind this – just how do you effectively legislate against ideas? – but primarily it is a point of principle at the very heart of the modern concept of freedom: that all people are free to hold and express their opinions no matter what they are.

Trying to make certain kinds of ideas in some way illegal to avoid discrimination against people to whom they are unfavourable automatically discriminates against the person whose idea you are repressing. The only way to actually have freedom of religion is to have complete freedom to criticise and even insult religion because if you attack that right you simultaneously attack your own freedom.

Salman Rushdie may or may not deserve his Knighthood on an artistic basis, this is entirely open for debate, and it is of politically questionable benefit to award it. But would you rather deny someone an acknowledgement of their artistic achievements because you don’t want to inflame psychopathic religious fundamentalists?

So if his Knighthood offends you you of course have the right to be offended, enraged, to complain and to protest. What you do not have the right to do is to cause harm because no actual harm has been done to you. I’ve also had about enough of apologising to these retards. There is only one response to people who are getting their knickers in a twist over this and demanding punitive actions, diplomatic actions and the rest of it: shut up whining and get the fuck over it. You’ll live.

What songs can possibly go with that little rant then? I confess, I am at a little bit of a loss.

The 63 Crayons – Forget the War, Let’s Go Shopping!
Grandaddy – Underneath the Weeping Willow
Elvis Costello & the Attractions – (What’s So Funny ‘Bout) Peace, Love & Understanding?
Alabama 3 – Woke Up This Morning

I post this one a lot, but it is one of the best songs in existence. You want to talk sensitivity to other cultures, being tolerant of barbaric beliefs such as death by stoning for adultery and suicide bombing as a resonable to response to religious criticism? Fuck it, you go and live with the nutters who advocate this shit then, and then tell me if we don’t have to fight against it.

The Dead Kennedys – Holiday in Cambodia