Apparently you people like music and stuff, right – that’s why you’re here?  Well this week I like gardening.  Yes, as if to demonstrate that I am taking all these accusations of being too old and too middle-class extremely seriously, this week I am far more excited about the back garden that I am about music, sorry.

We’ve had a lot of rain this spring, so inevitably when we get a sunny week, as we did last week, everything blooms.  This, I have to confess, as someone relatively new to gardening, is incredibly exciting.  Any teenagers reading this thinking I should be more excited by cocaine and jagerbombs and threesomes with supermodels, honestly, you’re wrong.  Although quite why I feel the need to take pictures of everything with a fucking Hipstamatic I have no idea.  Just one of those zeitgeist reflexes which I find as annoying as I do perversely pleasing.

Anyhow, given Scotland’s propensity for bucketing down with rain just as you get your shorts and sandals on, I am sure I will find time to take in some music.  And should that be the case, here are the directions in which I will be casting my creepy leer.

Thursday 14th April 2011: Paul Vickers & the Leg, Andy Brown & Zed Penguin at Sneaky Pete’s.

On the subject of creepy leering, pretty much all the music on this bill has a pretty creepy leer of its own.  Zed Penguin and Andy Brown play really rather dirty, distorted blues swamp rock, if you’ll excuse the horribly mangled genre tag.  And Paul Vickers and the Leg seem to have intravenously injected Tom Waits’ Black Rider and washed it down with tiger blood, so this show will be great, if something of an assault on the senses.

Zed Penguin – Keep on Truckin’

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Saturday 16th April 2011: The Pineapple Chunks, Billy Liar, Hiva Oa & Inspector Tapehead at the Bristo Hall.

Inspector Tapehead tell me they’re coming through to Edinburgh at the Forest this Saturday, but they aren’t on the listing for this particular bill, so I am not entirely sure what’s going on here. Nevertheless, the two bands I do know (who are possibly) on this bill are very good indeed, and the Chunks have new recordings too, which is very exciting. [Edit: The Tapeheads are playing apparently.  Here is the Facebook page with all the upcoming Forest Fundraisers, for future reference.]

The Pineapple Chunks – Dark Halo

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Sunday 17th April 2011: 2:54, Eagulls & Dead Boy Robotics at Sneaky Pete’s.

It’s difficult to think who in Edinburgh would be suitable for supporting 2:54 and Eagulls, but Dead Boy Robotics don’t really spring to mind, even though they have just added a full-time drummer to the lineup.  They are still, even though they are more air-punchy than ever, much more electronic than either of the other two bands, both of whom flirt just a little with lad-rock, but have plenty of interesting elements to them as well.  It could be a bit disappointing this, but it could be great as well, depending which side of that line the two headliners end up occupying.

Eagulls – Council Flat Blues

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Sunday 17th April 2011: A Hawk and a Hacksaw & Broken Records at The Caves.

I am not sure where the folk of A Hawk and a Hacksaw sits with the modern hipsterati these days. Despite the NME apparently scrabbling about for the next Mumford & Sons I get the impression the hip cats, as it were, don’t really want any folk in their hairspray at the moment. Nevertheless, whether the idea of folk makes you sigh the world-weary sigh that only a twenty-year-old hipster who has just realised that musical fashions may not be for Christmas exactly, but they certainly ain’t for life either, can sigh, I still think a band like A Hawk and a Hacksaw will be absolutely incredible live.

A Hawk and a Hacksaw – Gadje Sirba

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After attending a birthday party which involved the scarfing of five pig’s heads yesterday I still don’t feel capable of eating anything. I may have to fast for the next few days before that little lot gets digested, in fact. Fucking hell that was a meal and a half.

There will be no giggenfun for me this week, unfortunately, despite a couple of natty lineups on the horizon. The label is going to require an absolutel shitload of admin work this week and if I go out gallvanting there is no way I am going to be able to get all of it done. We have Meursault single promos to do, Foxx promos, Split 12″ numbering, Maxwell Panther printing and label sampler cutting and folding. Then there’s the Fresh Air show on Wednesday with the Japanese War Effort, which I’m looking forward to.

Did everyone see that FOUND’s musical cupboard of magnificence won the BAFTA for Best Interactive Thingumajig? Well done lads, brilliant, and thoroughly deserved. Must have been a bit depressing for the others shortlisted though – how the fuck do you compete with something like the bloody Cybraphon?

Anyway, on with the task at hand. What should you be doing while I’m in the house folding paper, cutting out inserts and stuffing CDs into slip-cases? Well if you’ll hang on, I’ll tell you:

Wednesday 11th November 2009: The Pineapple Chunks, Ruthelise Snowe & Andy Brown at the Bowery.

I know little about this gig, so if anyone knows anything about who’s supporting please let me know in the comments. I’ve linked to an Andy Brown MySpace page, but I really don’t know if it’s the right one and, er, I can’t find Ruthelise Snow at all. The Chunks themselves however make, erm… mental guitar music basically. It’s off-kilter, surprisingly melodic and brilliant fun.

The Pineapple Chunks – Dark Halo

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Thursday 12th November 2009: Graham Coxon at the Queen’s Hall.

Most people I know absolutely love Graham Coxon, and cite his departure from Blur as the moment they became shit. That’s bollocks of course, because Think Tank is a great album, but that’s a whole new argument. Anyhow, here I am pootling along in my ignorance, with little real awareness of Coxon’s solo work and no more than a fairly casual liking for what little I have heard. The last album was really quite folky though, and I believe this is an acoustic setup, so that’s about all I can tell you.

Graham Coxon – All Has Gone

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Thursday 12th November 2009: The Leg, Your Loyal Subjects and Lipsync For a Lullaby play Versus at the Voodoo Rooms.

Apparently I sounded a little lukewarm on the concept the last time I mentioned the Versus gigs, but I really didn’t mean to be. All three bands will play separately, together and everything inbetween, and there will be inter-set entertainments as well. Basically it is going to be a gigantic musical mish-mash. The last one was apparently brilliant, so if Ted and his minions can pull that off again this should be a brilliant night.

Saturday November 14th: Riley Briggs from Aberfeldy at Carter’s Bar.

This is a free gig (Riley also plays alternate Thursdays down at the Shore in Leith, I believe) and will be a solo acoustic performance, but the band’s breezy indiepop should be perfectly suited to this kind of setup.

Aberfeldy – Love is an Arrow

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Saturday November 14th: Trashcan Sinatras, Brother Louis Collective & the Seventeenth Century at Cabaret Voltaire.

The Trashcan Sinatras are something of a blast from the past for me, I have to confess. I remember absolutely loving A Happy Pocket when I bought it back in my universoty days. I have to confess to having barely a clue what they’re up to these days, but I’d be really curious to see them. I don’t know Brother Louis Collective really, but the Seventeenth Century are excellent.

Trashcan Sinatras – The Therapist

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Saturday 14th November 2009: Panda Su, John B McKenna & the Last Battle play Trampoline at the Wee Red Bar.

The Last Battle are what happened when Thieves in Suits called it a day and I’ve heard very good things about them, without having had the chance to see them myself. Panda Su seem to be drawing all sorts of praise, and John B McKenna also sounds rather interesting. It’s a low-key lineup this one, but Euan has definitely found a really good spread of underground artists I’d personally like to see, and then kindly put them all in the same place on one evening for me.