Song, by Toad

Well in all the chatter about the Beeb this week I was strongly considering ignoring it completely in this podcast and giving everyone a welcome break from the wailing and gnashing of teeth… but naah, that was never going to happen, was it.

So there’s a lot of railing against the Beeb and the threat to 6Music and yaddah yaddah you know the script don’t you.  Sadly, and somewhat ironically, we spend so much time talking about the state of the Beeb and the loss their support of small bands will represent, that we actually forgot to talk much about the small bands we ourselves put on the bloody podcast.

Toadcast #111 – The Beebcast

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01. Ballboy – All the Records on the Radio are Shite (03.21)
02. Love is All – Bigger Bolder (13.02)
03. Fredrik – Vinterbarn (15.53)
04. Exrays – Everything Goes (27.16)
05. Phil Ochs – Automation Song (34.33)
06. Ghostkeeper – By Morning (37.26)
07. The Light Footwork – Carlsbad Irrigation Project (47.54)
08. Mondrian – Rise and Fall of a Golden Boy Seen by a Porn Star Using No Sextoy (50.21)
09. The Leaf Library – Losing Places (ISAN Remix) (63.00)

[Mrs. Toad has very kindly contributed this Friday's Fives, as I am busy being mounted like a five-dollar hooker at Proper Job.  Enjoy.]

I am in the middle of a secondment at Proper Job which basically means that instead of rushing around trying to get new clients or speak to existing ones about what is going on in the world of stocks and shares, I am undertaking company analysis and have time on my hands to contemplate the mysteries of the future.

So at the moment, I am mulling what cars will be like in 2030 and how many of them will be on the roads. This is usually predicted using an S-Curve function which predicts growth of consumption goods accelerating from matching income growth at low levels at twice the rate of income growth for a certain range of income finally slowing again to match income growth at higher levels giving an S shaped graph. According to this, there will be 2 billion cars on the road in 2030 (there are about 800 million now). Scary stuff. However, population density is also rising (only 46% of New Yorkers own a car whereas 92% of Americans do) and car sharing (ZipCar/City Car club) is also on the rise. So how the hell am I supposed to come up with an even half sensible estimate? Even Volkswagen don’t seem to think we will all own our own cars.

Of course, the point is that you can’t get it right, you just have to make a reasonable estimate and assign a probability to it based on current evidence. Despite the shelves and shelves of strategy books in airports worldwide, there is a great deal of serendipity involved in most business successes. The guys at Google for instance, didn’t start out to be in the advertising business but ending up there is why their company is worth $135bn. There is also the occasional trying to be too clever moment. If I said to you that buying a share of 100 dodgy mortgages packaged together and sliced up is as safe as lending to a blue chip company like IBM, you’d laugh in my face but that’s what all the physics graduates and math whizzes at places like Lehman Bros really believed. Business is hard especially, when mistakes mean that you could go down the pan or get taken out. Its easy to err too far on the side of caution and become defensive and oppressive rather than innovative (yeah, that’s you Microsoft).

Which makes it all the more galling that a non profit entity such as the BBC has apparently confused “value for money” with “bums on seats” in its recent strategic review, leading to the closure of 6 Music, the watering down of local content, and the downsizing of their successful website. The questions in the review also point to them considering reducing some of the innovative projects that they have undertaken such as pushing DAB and developing iPlayer. iPlayer is in large part why people like Murdoch(s) have it in for them, Sky and Virgin Media cannot make money if they cannot control content provision. By pushing people online to a familiar and trusted brand, the BBC has hastened their demise.

This has already been linked to but I would urge you all to take some time to respond to the BBC’s strategic review in full because its clear that fear of Tory/Murdoch harpies is pushing them in an all together more stolid direction than we have seen in the last ten years and that would be a great shame.

1. What do you think cars will be like in 20 years time?
2. Best piece of bullshit bingo you have heard?
3. Company/brand or product you most admire?
4. Company/brand or product you detest?
5. Your soothsayer like prediction for the world in 2030?

Ballboy – All the Records on the Radio are Shite

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Depeche Mode – Everything Counts

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Phil Ochs – Automation Song

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The Clash – Complete Control

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The Men They Couldn’t Hang – Company Town

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I was fascinated to hear this record, an electronic spoken-word collaboration between Ballboy’s Gordon MacIntyre and Maja Mångård, (who is Swedish, and might just be his wife, but I’m not certain) but I would say that it is really only partially successful. Some of it really is good, and some just doesn’t quite click for me, but it’s definitely an interesting record.

This album feels a little like an extension of the instincts which drove McIntyre to write I Hate Scotland during his Ballboy days – a rambling, contemplative monologue set to music.  I don’t know enough about Ballboy’s back catalogue to make any kind of statement like that definitively, but it certainly feels like a large step in a similar direction.

The lyrics are absolutely key to music like this, and these remind me very, very strongly of Belle & Sebastian.  Beautifulgirlsunnyledges could easily be one of theirs, although don’t take that as a disparagement of the song, which is really lovely.  This kind of unrestrained stream of consciousness is present on most songs: McIntyre just seems to set a thought loose in his brain letting it flit around, just to see where it will go.  At times he veers towards deeper thoughts, but most of the more profound musings are lightened either by very dry humour or by gentle whimsy.  He’s not fannying around at all, just making sure we know he isn’t taking himself too seriously or trying to solve all the world’s problems in a three-minute pop song.

Lyrically and musically, er, whilst I like an awful lot of this, it can veer towards being just a little bit soft from time to time.  The electronics have just a little too much tweeness and niceness in them, compared to the glitch and skitter which I tend to prefer.  And the lyrics can, slightly in the way of the recent MJ Hibbett & the Validators album, seem just a little middle-aged from time to time.  What I mean by that is, I guess, just a little more inwardly focussed and domestic than I might personally expect.  This is no surprise, because Gordon is more veteran than tyro, nor is it any shame exactly, it’s just something which prevents me connecting with the lyrical content from time to time.

So for all there’s a lot here which I really like, there’s also a fair bit which I don’t quite connect with.  It’s a really interesting album though, and I am always impressed by people who push in radically different directions after making music of a certain type for a long time.

Money Can’t Buy Music – Beautifulgirlsunnyledges

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Money Can’t Buy Music – We Will All Asphyxiate

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Website | More mp3s | Buy direct from the band

Sping.  SPRING.  Hurry the FUCK UP for Christ’s sake before we all go fucking mental.  Good grief what a long drawn out wait it has been.  Some sunshine would be nice.  A cup of tea in the garden would be nice.  Actually, even the chance to go outside of a weekend and rescue the garden from the tangle of weeds and fallen leaves it has become over the winter would be nice.  Obviously there’d have to be coke and whores afterwards, just to keep up the rock ‘n’ roll pretensions, but for now a nice cuppa and a Rich Tea biscuit in the back garden, with dirty hands and earth under our fingernails, would be very welcome indeed.

For those of you craving a spot of news, apparently Bob Dylan’s new studio album is being released in mid-April, which is rather jolly, I have to say.  I have no great expectations for it to be a heartbreaking work of staggering genius, but so what.  It might be a bloody good listen anyway.

Secondly, here’s a wee video of Broken Records (who?) recording their debut album, which will be released, erm, quite soon.  June 1st, it seems.

Monday 16th March 2009: Finley Quaye at Henry’s Cellar Bar.

You know, I never knew that Finley Quaye was an Edinburgh artist.  I actually rather liked Maverick A Strike, although I must confess to having largely neglected his stuff since.  I am busy tonight but just out of curiosity this looks like a rather interesting gig, if just to find out what he’s been up to all this time.
Finley Quaye – Even After All

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Thursday 19th March 2009: Limbo & Canongate Books present Irregular, at the Voodoo Rooms.

To say that this is an ambitious project sounds a little condescending, but in a sense I suppose it is.  This is going to be a combination of music and spoken word, with readings from recent Canongate publications mixed with live music from the likes of Black Diamond Express.  I have no idea how they intend to put it together or whether or not they can pull it off, but it sounds fucking fascination, frankly, and I shall be there for sure.

Friday 20th March 2009: Sleepingdog, Esperi & The Kays Lavelle at the Wee Red Bar.

There will be no mosh pit at the Wee Red on Friday, but Sleepingdog generate a kind of hypnotic loveliness which should bring a fascination of its own.  Essentially, it seems, a vehicle for Belgian lassie Chantal Acda, they’ve just released an album called Polar Life, a rather appropriate name, given the music, which I assume will be available at the show and from the sounds of the MySpace page should be rather good.
Sleepingdog – The Prophets

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Saturday 21st March 2009: Ballboy at the Wee Red Bar.

Ballboy are the Edinburgh indie-pop stars who never quite hit the escape velocity needed to break out of the city into the wider music-listening consciousness.  This is a bit of a shame because they’ve got some really brilliant songs.  Now there’s a new album as well, called I Worked on the Ships, which I have yet to hear but if their previous stuff is anything to go by should be a really enjoyable listen.
Ballboy – I’ve Got Pictures of You in Your Underwear

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Saturday 21st March 2009: Tunng at the Picturehouse.

Me?  Publicising a gig at the Picturehouse?  I thought I was trying to be alternative.  Ah well, people have been trying to get me to properly listen to Tunng for ages, most notably Ruth from the Bowery, so I thought that a live performance would be a bloody good way to start.  I’m rather looking forward to this actually – a bit of bleepery, a bit of slightly arcane folk music – splendid!
Tunng – Tale From Black

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Ho hum, what’s going on this week then? Well I am having a fairly dry one, that’s for sure. Last week descended into complete mayhem, largely musical, and by Sunday morning I wasn’t sure whether it was Thursday’s, Friday’s or Saturday’s hangover I was so desperate to sleep off.

Friday night was the return of the Mr. & Mrs. Toad late night booze-and-tunesathon. It was loud, and went on until five in the morning, and I still managed to drag my sorry carcass out of bed to go to football training at ten the next day. Christ I had the cold sweats though.

There are really only a couple of gigs I’d be in a rush to get to this week:

Thursday 17th July 2008: Come On Gang, Plaaydoh & Be a Familiar at the (shit) Ark.
This is a Broken Friend Records night, who released the Jesus H. Foxx single. I am a little dubious about Plaaydoh and Be a Familiar, but they both have some decent aspects that you notice during a cursory MySpace listen. Come On Gang, on the other hand, are pretty good and have a new single out so this has the makings of a good fun night about it.
Come On Gang – Spinning Room

Thursday 17th July 2008: Grace Emilys, Punch and the Apostles & Reformation play Limbo at the Voodoo Rooms.
It’s been a while since I plugged a Limbo gig, which feels a bit mean because their lineups are good, it’s just that I’ve not quite been as grabbed by some of the recent lineups as I might have been, but that just happens I suppose. Well continuing their knack for spotting the finest of Scottish indie pop, this three-band lineup looks rather promising. I know nothing of any of the bands in question, but a quick MySpace listen sounds promising to me. Definitely worth going along to.
Grace Emilys – Down in Mexico

Friday 18th July 2008: Ballboy at Cabaret Voltaire.
One of the somewhat underestimated pillars of Edinburgh’s indie landscape, Gordon MacIntyre writes warm, witty songs, delivers them with genuine charm and throws a cracking tune on top of pretty much each one. They can be sad and wistful melancholia or bouncy indie pop and it appears there’s a new album in the fairly immediate offing, so it’ll be interesting to hear what they’re been up to of late.
Ballboy – Dumper Truck Racing

Saturday 19th July: Meursault, Boyfriend/Girlfriend & Davie Lawson at the Wee Red Bar.
Trampoline has grown up! Graduating from sproradic weekdays, Euan now has a regular monthly Saturday night slot for his excellent gig nights. He’s shite at marketing too, so hopefully the new slot will result in more people coming to these shows. As to this first bill, well I don’t know Davie Lawson at all, I’ve seen B/G once before and rather enjoyed them and I think Meursault are fucking brilliant. So not a bad start to his new life as a gig circuit high-roller.
Boyfriend/Girlfriend – The Greatest High

Gosh it’s multi-post bonanza of obsessive lunacy on Song, by Toad today. I know this is far too many posts for a sane human being, but honestly the news today is bringin’ the crazy and there’s no way I could let it pass without a round of applause.

Item No1: Paris & the Mystery Meat
Everyone’s favourite talentless whore has been released and gave an interview to CNN in which she described her meals in the Big House as containing “mystery meat”, which she then rather perplexingly described as “really scary”. Seriously. Anyone here remember the last time Ms. Hilton had any sort of difficulty wolfing down mystery meat with all the glassy-eyed enthusiasm of a sedated Alzheimer’s patient? No, me neither. At least true to form she’s still talking about god, albeit in slightly different context than usual, playing that time-honoured Get Out Of Jail Free Card that the American public never seem to tire of falling for.

Rufus Wainright – Old Whore’s Diet

Item No2: Tom Cruise: Verrückt und Verboten!
Or, bonkers and banned, as we’d (vaguely) have it in English. Apparently he has been banned from filming his latest movie in Germany – allegedly about Colonel Claus von Stauffenberg’s failed 1944 assassination attempt on Hitler – because they think he’s just a bit too mad. If they’re worried about his inability to accurately portray sensitive historical material then fuck me, how are they not attempting to extradite Mel Gibson for public tarring and feathering? Honestly, I’ll be gutted if they ban Scientology. Scientology is easily the coolest religion in the world – a great big fuck you to people who believe in the preposterous things that infest every religion. Walking on water? Resurrection? Virgin birth? Chicken feed! That’s primary school make-believe, that is. Try great big fucking flying spaceships and alien beings and volcanoes, you pussies! It really makes the other religions look like they just weren’t really trying when they came up with their creation myths.

Also, it’s like a great big finger of deranged lunacy that points helpfully at every single one of its hilariously credulous followers reminding us all to point and laugh every time they raise their heads above the parapet. Fucking idiots.

Ballboy – Essential Wear For Future Trips to Space

Item No3: Best Oddly Not Good Enough
Real Madrid, having won precisely bollocks all of any import for five years have finally won the league title in Spain. Fabio Capello, the man who guided them to this momentous triumph, has needless to say, been sacked immediately. Now, they didn’t win it in style, and Barca may have imploded spectacularly to clear the way, but sacked? Scolded, maybe. Told to do better, perhaps. But the first title in five years and he’s sacked – are these people on drugs? Well, high on their own galactic levels of vanity perhaps…

Midlake – Excited But Not Enough From back when they sounded just like Radiohead.

Item No4: Beware the Ghost Ducks
Yes, seriously. 30,000 rubber duckies were washed overboard when a particularly enthusiastic storm hit their container ship in the middle of the Pacific back in 1992. Due to the vagaries of global oceanic currents they circled, as a group, around the North Pacific for years until a misadventure with Arctic pack ice spat them out, bleached a deathly white, into the Atlantic early in the new millennium. After flirting with America’s Eastern Seaboard they are now caught in the Gulf Stream which should bring them en masse to the shores of Ireland, Cornwall and the Southwest later this year. Christ, you’d think you were mad, wouldn’t you. A 30,000-strong fleet of ghostly rubber duckies approaching your shores – it’d be terrifying!

Crash Test Dummies – How Does a Duck Know?

Makes all that boring shit about people dying in Iraq by the thousands and the increasingly militant stance of the Russian government and the slippery avoidance of any sort of accountability by Dick Cheney seem like no more than the hum of a distant bee, doesn’t it.