Song, by Toad

I took a real physical roll of camera film to be developed yesterday. Haven’t done that in a while. Unfortunately the photos it contained were a series of rather grisly images taken with a fish-eye camera at a late-night after-party back at ours last weekend at Homegame.

The guy in the camera shop did look at me a bit funny when I went back in to collect them.

I didn’t bother getting real photo prints, though. I figured the photos were only going up on Facebook for a bit of a giggle, so they might as well just go straight onto a CD. There was no point paying extra for a pack of prints. Which struck me as very revealing about how we interact with photos now in the Web 2.0 world, populated with Facebook, Twitpic and Flickr. It’s like the old joke that asks when was the last time you played Solitaire with a real pack of cards.

When was the last time you looked through a real set of photos?

Matthew only asked me to compose this Friday Five late last night, and I had a panic on the bus this morning because I realised I hadn’t copied five MP3s off my hard-drive at home to put up on the post.

Then I remembered that I had meant to take a compilation CD to the Homegame mix-tape swap bin; (You drop a compilation CD off when you arrive on Friday, then return on Saturday to collect a random CD of someone else’s in return. A bit like a mix-tape Secret Santa.) but I managed to leave the CD itself at home after compiling and burning it. Luckily for us today I still had all the tracks for my compilation on my portable USB hard drive that lives in my bag.

So that has ended up giving today’s chioce of tunes the same theme as my compilation CD was going to have; classic ‘Side One: Track One’ songs.

So here’s today’s test:

1. Tell us a fishing story. Come on, everyone’s got at least one fishing story.

2. What embarassing things tend to happen around you when you stay up late?

3. What was on the last real camera film you had developed?

4. What do you do with photos you take nowadays?

5. Best Side One: Track One ever.

And here are the choons:

Beck – Loser

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Blur – For Tomorrow

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Grand Champeen – Cottonmouth

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Mercury Rev – Secret for a Song

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Ramones – Blitzkrieg Bop

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This podcast is a little bit random, I have to say.  There are songs which follow on from the like folk/hate covers posts which have appeared over the course of the last week or so on the site, a couple are related to the fact that Mrs. Toad is once more away in God Bless America shooting illegal aliens, chewing gum, whistling Dixie, or whatever the fuck it is they do over there, while most of the first half is related to the fact that my friend Andrew is coming to visit this weekend.

They do sort of relate to one another, the songs, at least.  Or there’s a bit of overlap anyway.  I never keep much track of it, but this is at least the second version of Blues Run the Game we’ve had on the podcasts, and I have no idea if I’ve ever actually repeated a song on these things.  I wouldn’t be surprised if I had, because I’m bloody disorganised when it comes to this kind of thing.

Anyhow, no scary metal bastards making your ears bleed this week, just a lot of lovely folky stuff and a couple of scratchy indie bands.  Oh, and Jack White.  I’d say that he was an egomaniacal dick, but he’s massive and would probably kick my arse, so I won’t.  Recent stuttering aside, though, he’s produced some cracking tunes, whatever you think of the guy.

Toadcast #92 – The Pantscast

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01. Soul Asylum – New World (04.17)
02. The Tragically Hip – Pigeon Camera (10.29)
03. Beck – Guess I’m Doing Fine (14.47)
04. The White Stripes – I Just Don’t Know What to Do With Myself (24.46)
05. Elbow – Fugitive Motel (29.57)
06. Billy Bragg – Wishing the Days Away (Alternative Version) (34.53)
07. Tortoise & Bonnie Prince Billy – Thunder Road (43.15)
08. Christopher Bell – Pretty Thing (53.53)
09. Nick Drake – Blues Run the Game (55.33)
10. Fairport Convention – Crazy Man Michael (60.52)

I used to love taking the train down to London.  When GNER had the East Coast mainline Mrs. Toad and used to travel pretty regularly, in the days when I lived in London and we only saw one another every couple of weeks.  As often as we could we would go and sit in the dining car and slowly get drunk all the way to the end of the line.  Those were really rather romantic days.

Anyway, when GNER’s parent company got into trouble they were forced to sell off the East Coast mainline under some obscure rule of Capitalism which requires failing companies to get rid of the only bits of them which work – in other words the only parts of the company which might actually help them work through their problems and get back on their feet.  Obviously if this doesn’t make perfect sense to you then you must be some sort of Communist, but it strikes me as some sort of ludicrous rule dreamt up by the vultures rather than the victims, but hey ho.  If nationwide healthcare is too Communisty for you then what chance do sensible rules of business have?

Anyhow, that line went to National Express who have made an unspeakable balls up of the whole operation.  Apart from running a previously healthy line into near-bankruptcy they have taken away the fucking dining cars, which now only operate on a fraction of the trains.  So yes, making a service notably more shit and that service therefore becoming markedly less favourable with customers, who’d have thought those two were connected.  Gosh the world can be a strange place sometimes.

So, this being Friday, please take the opportunity to de-lurk and fill in your Friday Five:

1. Favourite mode of long-distance transport.
2. Weirdest place you’ve had a surprisingly civillised meal.
3. Thing that just isn’t what it used to be.
4. Most boring everyday thing which actually turned out to be quite romantic.
5. Most annoying train habit.

Beck – Broken Train

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Eels – Railroad Man

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Billy Bragg – Train Train

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iLiKETRAiNS – The Beeching Report

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Phil Ochs – Automation Song

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Well, we are nearing the end of our time in Puglia.  We’re spending a couple of days in or near Napoli before we fly back on Sunday, presumably troughing like total pigs, rather than paying all that much attention to culture and all that bobbins.

Mrs. Toad is doing Sudoku and complaining about the ‘wrong sort of paper’.  I kid you not, it’s just like British fucking Rail and their ‘wrong type of snow’, but she insists it’s just for that reason that she can’t solve them, not because they’re too hard.  Personally I find myself wondering if ‘evil’ is used to describe the comments one’s spouse will inevitably make when you fail to complete it, rather than the actual difficulty of the Sudoku puzzle itself.

So yes, we have done the lazing about and there are now a few days of actually doing shit in between us and a return to the damp splendour of the British Isles.  I suppose this is what you’re supposed to do on holiday – pay attention to the country you’re in and return, eventually – but honestly, another week of doing bollocks-all wouldn’t hurt anyone would it?

Toadcast #75 – The Bone Idlecast

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01. Snow Patrol – An Olive Grove Facing the Sea (04.14)
02. Beck – The Golden Age (12.33)
03. Belle & Sebastian – Simple Things (19.32)
04. Casiotone for the Painfully Alone – Tom Justice, the Choirboy Robber (21.00)
05. Johnny Cash – Folsom Prison Blues (29.10)
06. Navigator – Work is Done (NOT Change, as we announced, sorry!) (34.44)
07. Lord Cut Glass – Holy Fuck! (40.19)
08. Son Volt – Sultana (46.46)
09. Smog – Drinking at the Dam (56.30)
10. Alela Diane – Age Old Blue (60.17)

Fear not, this isn’t quite as horribly overbearing as it could have been. The ranting is actually fairly under control, and the self-important pontificating not quite as reckless as it could so easily have been, partly because I wasn’t quite as liberal with the gin as I have been in the past.

The reason it’s called the Popecast is because of this amazing little story about Catholics in the States issuing death threats to a kid who took a communion wafer out of the church with him.  The hilarious PZ Myers then got involved, threatening to show them what real desecration would look like, and the pandemonium reached all new levels of shrillness.

The thing that really got my goat about all this was not so much that Catholics took offence, but more the level of the hysteria and the language of persecution.  It was honestly described as kidnapping and as a hate crime by various loonies, and there was nothing like enough ‘Oh fucking grow up and get the fuck over it’ being said.  People seem to be seeking all sorts of odd legal protections for their crazy superstitions these days, and I am flabberghasted that a particular kind of idea is being so fucking mollycoddled as to be deemed immune from criticism and contempt.  Come on, people, fuck your religious convictions and learn to deal with the fact that most of the planet thinks they’re crazy – and that applies to atheists as well.

Anyhow, I promise this doesn’t take over too much of the podcast, and that the music is given plenty of space to breathe.

Toadcast #33 – The Popecast

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01. Half Man Half Biscuit – Vatican Broadside (00.07)
02. Beck – Profanity Prayers (02.27)
03. Punch & the Apostles – Nouveau Gypsy (10.20)
04. I Said Yes – The Town Crier (15.07)
05. Albert Hammond Jr. – GFC (20.47)
06. Bonnie Prince Billy – So Everyone (23.51)
07. Tom Lehrer – Vatican Rag (33.53)
08. The Savings & Loan – Catholic Boys in the Rain (37.12)
09. Derek Meins – The Gin Song (42.57)
10. Holly Golightly & the Broke-Offs – Devil Do (48.47)
11. Ghostkeeper – Solid Gold (56.02)
12. Forest Fire – Fortune Teller (60.44)
13. Silver Jews – Strange Victory, Strange Defeat (70.22)
14. Sparrow & the Workshop – Magic Tricks (77.55)
15. The Just Joans – Hey Boy, You’re Oh So Sensitive (79.43)
16. Roy Zimmerman – Ted Haggard is Completely Heterosexual (85.41)
17. Willard Grant Conspiracy – Evening Mass (97.16)

And just for the fun, here are the two silly songs for you to download:
Tom Lehrer – Vatican Rag[audio http://www.matthewjamesyoung.com/sbt/TheVaticanRag.mp3]
Roy Zimmerman – Ted Haggard is Completely Heterosexual[audio http://www.matthewjamesyoung.com/sbt/RoyZimmerman-TedHaggardIsCompletelyHeterosexual.mp3]

You know, this is actually pretty good, for the most part. I’ll confess, my expectations were pretty bloody low for this album, given the extreme variability of Beck’s recent work.  Actually, the extreme variability of all of his work.

I loved Mutations, I liked Guero, I sort of liked Odelay and Mellow Gold, I like most of Sea Change, but albums like Midnite Vultures and The Information rather passed me by.  Maybe I need a Best of Beck playlist, and then I could just give up on expecting his albums to be great, because pretty much none of them are.  Almost all of them contain great bits, some more than others, but really only Mutations is great all the way through.

This particular outing is not bad though, and explores something of an indie-rock vibe, before settling into slightly more uneasily electronic-tinged stuff that will come as no surprise to his more regular listeners. It actually sounds not at all unlike Radiohead a lot of the time. Maybe the man just needs to release six or seven track mini-albums in order to focus on the best stuff.  If you trimmed his albums down to that length he’d look like a genius, but for the most part the material ends up being a bit thin for twelve song long players.

This is no exception.  Gamma Ray is good, Orphans is excellent, Chemtrails and Modern Guilt are both good, but then things drift a little before picking up right at the end.  So as I said, pretty good.  But that’s about it.

Beck – Orphans
Beck – Modern Guilt

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I wrote this recently for the new collaborative blog project to which I am contributing called Fun & Heartbreak. Some of your favourite bloggers are involved and it sounds like fun.

It’s very long and very, very personal so you won’t be seeing things like it on Song, by Toad anytime soon, but if any of you are that interested then a story of melodramatic heartbreak awaits, the likes of which Mills & Boon can only dream of.

And it gives me a chance to post one of my all time favourite songs, ever:

Tom Waits – Fish & Bird

This one seems kind of appropriate as well:

Beck – Guess I’m Doing Fine

You should all be off for a good cry after those two.

I don’t know if there is another group of more low-life lizards on the face of the planet than gaybashers, particularly those who make a song and dance about gay marriage being some sort of issue.

There are more evil and more psychopathic people, for sure, and more cynical and dishonest. Even the Iraq war cheerleaders are responding to the clear and serious danger of terrorism, albeit in the most insane way I can imagine. But at least the issue is real.

Gay marriage opponents who pretend that allowing other people the same rights they enjoy is in some way a threat to ‘families’ are basically using the relentless persecution and alienation of people who have done nothing to them as some sort of whipping boy (Rrowrr!) on which to inflict all their own insecurity, fear and self loathing. They are pathetic and they make me sick.

Mrs. Toad’s best man was gay. I have been to more gay weddings (two) than straight ones (my own) and the idea that this ‘gayness’ can in any way affect myself and my young lady’s desire to spend the rest of our lives together and raise a couple of irritating little gob-shites is so utterly farcical as to barely warrant a response.

So these disgraceful fucking lizards use their religion as little more than a stick to beat other people with and get all het up about the danger posed to families by people wanting to actually make more families. And yet, with a sort of depressing inevitability, there is nary a whisper heard about what our culture of entitlement and instant gratification might do to people’s determination to stick it out through the good times and the bad as their lover grows old and fat and wrinkly. I’m not making any claims, of course, but it seems a little more relevant than sticking your nose into the relationships of people who have absolutely no involvement in your life whatsoever.

What brought this on? Well apparently gay marriage represents a threat to families and children, but this sort of idiotic stunt doesn’t. Right. In the words of Wendy Leach: ‘Well thank you for popping in and protecting us.’

Beck – Sexxlaws Yes, I know, the obvious one.
Fleetwood Mac – Family Man Don’t whinge. I’m not a massive fan, but I heard this quite a lot growing up so I don’t hate it as much as my inner indie snob thinks I should!
Iggy Pop – A Family Affair
The Magnetic Fields – When My Boy Walks Down the Street