Red Six. Who was he? What was his like motivation, hm? Who really cares? Well today Song, by Toad cares. Today it is all about Red Six, or that poor anonymous Lieutenant in Star Trek – the one you can be absolutely certain isn’t going to survive the episode. Does anyone else remember Porkins from Star Wars with such affection as Mr Toad? This haven for losers, wastrels and ne’erdowells embraces Porkins, the only fat, bearded star fighter pilot in the universe, and today we dedicate some tunes to him. Or, at least, to his sort: the selfless, silent assistant, the unnamed extra, someone as crucial as, but far less celebrated than, Chewbacca the Wookie, someone without whose presence an album would never be as good as it is and who needs to be mentioned by me because no-one else is going to give the little trooper a pat on the back.

In other words, today at Song, by Toad, we will be celebrating the little man whose contribution to a song makes the music what it is. I don’t mean someone like Joby Talbot of The Divine Comedy, who is clearly crucial to Neil Hannon, because I just don’t know enough about music to directly discern his contribution. I’m talking about people like Bobby Valentino (who? I hear you ask) who played fiddle for The Men They Couldn’t Hang and never gets a mention. How about Steve Wickham – who was he? Well he was the brilliant fiddle player on Fisherman’s Blues, The Waterboys’ phenomenal late 80s folk explosion. He is relatively well known and respected in Ireland, incidentally, but not in indie-pop world, despite his contribution to one of the all time great folk-pop albums. And then there is Warren Ellis, who also plays the fiddle, this time for Nick Cave. And Dave Woodhead, who doesn’t play the fiddle, but the trumpet. Who was Dave Woodhead I hear you ask? Well you’ll find out.

Bobby Valentino – Shirt of Blue
Steve Wickham – We Will Not Be Lovers
Warren Ellis – The Willow Garden
Dave Woodhead – The Saturday Boy

More seriously, I always wonder how much of a contribution these guys actually make. Warren Ellis is the most well known of the bunch and as a bona fide Bad Seed I assume he is pretty central to the group, but what about the other guys. Billy Bragg had a few absolutely iconic trumpet solos in his early songs, so how did it work? Did he whistle it first, like he does at his gigs, and Dave Woodhead then played it? Or did Dave write the whole thing – in which case these lads are far more important than they ever get given credit for.

And as for the bloke who wrote Porkins’ Wikipedia entry, well firstly how did you manage to garner quite so much information from two or three seconds of film, and secondly, YOU SAD FUCK. Christ, imagine having that level of detailed knowledge about a minor character in fucking Star Wars, don’t you have any friends to spend your time with for Christ’s sake? Fuck me, that’s almost as sad as knowing the name of the bloke who played the fiddle for The Men They Couldn’t Hang. Eh? Oh.