Bloody hell the year has started slowly in the world of Edinburgh live music.  The weekend just gone was very good, or at least it would have been if I hadn’t missed most of the good music in order to sit in the office here at Proper Job and stare at my computer while it stumbled through renderings for most of the day.

Other than that though there has been very little on since the new year, which is becoming a bit of a worry.  With the Roxy yet to show any real sign that they are going to pick up where the Bowery left off, Henry’s yet to announce their February gigs and the Liquid Rooms burned to the bloody ground, things are looking a little thin at the moment.

Trampoline are still putting on gigs at the Wee Red, but little seems to happen there beyond that monthly night.  Cabaret Voltaire have been told to focus their booking effort on enticing outside promoters to work with them (what outside bloody promoters, I can’t help but wonder).  Sneaky’s are trying their best, but things have still been a little quiet there too, truth be told.  All in all, it adds up to a rather worrying picture, honestly.  There is simply a considerable dearth of promoters in Edinburgh at the moment.  No-one has replaced Spitfires, Tracer Trails are showing signs of returning, but very slowly, Black Tape have packed it in, and I may do a quarterly night for the label, but that’s hardly enough.

In mitigation, there are apparently soon to be developments at the Roxy for the booking of the downstairs gig space, so hopefully we should see a big upswing there shortly, and coming out of recession a lot of bands have been cancelling tours due to money issues, so these problems aren’t ours alone.  I’ve been keeping an eye on the listings at Tut’s and Sleazy’s and the ABC in Glasgow and they too are not showing many signs of life.

So maybe I should just shut up moaning and wait it out like everyone else.  Maybe I should even take advantage of the quiet to get some label work done and finish the eagleowl Toad Session.  Still, I’m not bloody happy.  Not bloody happy at all.

Thursday 4th February 2010: Born to Be Wide‘s German Night at the Voodoo Rooms, with Jeans Team.

This is Born to Be Wide’s sixth birthday celebration, so the usual seminar will be downstairs in the Speakeasy before the gig things kick off upstairs in what I think is called the Ballroom.  I don’t know much about German music, apart from the ludicrous excellence of Die Aertzte, so I had to settle for a couple of songs with the word German in them.  They’re good songs, but I am as aware as you are just how much of a cop-out it is to post them.

Clem Snide – The Sound of German Hip-Hop

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Germans – I am the Teacher

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Sunday 7th February 2010: Still Flyin’ at Sneaky Pete’s.

These chaps are pretty good actually – bouncy indie pop and infectious choruses.  Of all the gigs this week this would probably be my pick.

Still Flyin’ – Good Thing it’s a Ghost Town Around Here

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Mrs. Toad has been away in China for the last week or so and, frankly, I am jealous.  I am wedded to Edinburgh now, for fairly obvious reasons, but I have always been something of a gypsy, as have my parents, and as such China has held a pretty significant fascination for several years now.

I spent three years in Singapore between the ages of eleven and fourteen and I absolutely loved the place.  Not just Singapore, but all the travelling we did in South East Asia – I was absolutely captivated.

Honestly, if it were not for you musical muppets I would be pestering Mrs. Toad for us to move to China already.

Toadcast #106 – The Sinocast

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01. T’Pau – China in Your Hand (5.12)
02. I Am Oak – Ohayo (10.49)
03. Django Django – Love’s Dart (13.27)
04. Django Reinhart – China Boy (22.49)
05. Clem Snide – Wal-Mart Parking Lot (31.22)
06. Frightened Rabbit – Fun Stuff (33.51)
07. The Shop Assistants – Somewhere in China (41.07)
08. David Bowie – China Girl (46.26)
09. Lincoln – Great Wall of China (51.47)
10. Snapline – S2 (65.31)

Instead of being at a friend’s stag do in Berlin I am stranded in Edinburgh.  Even more frustrating, this stag do was going to involve going to a football match and indie clubs instead of strip bars and nightclubs, so would almost certainly have been excellent fun.  Given my general terror of stag nights, I was actually rather looking forward to this one.

I actually didn’t bother to have a stag do, largely because I couldn’t be bothered, but also I have never had enough of a predominance of male friends to make it seem anything other than awkward.  Contrary to the suspicions of the feminists I have outraged on these pages, I have always got along very well with women in general.  Presumably this is because I tend to judge people entirely on whether they irritate the shit out of me or not, so despite being an offensive bastard, I’m not all that prejudiced really.  So erm, how do you decide to head off with all your male pals and leave the women behind, especially when, like myself, you would have no intention of doing anything especially blokey in the first place.

My brother had an excellent stag do actually (more of that later), and Mrs. Toad got absolutely wrecked with her family and ended up dancing around the kitchen with her sister-in-law and niece bellowing pop classics into mop-head microphones.  There are pictures and no, no they aren’t good.

The reason I am not in Berlin an hammered off my tits at this precise moment in time is because we are having something of a mental panic at Proper Job, motivated by our most incredible client.  They should give up on medical devices and turn their attention to a perpetual motion machine, because the sheer inexhaustible power of their knee-jerking just never seems to run out.  It’s not even a complicated product, but there you go.  The decision paralysis that descends upon large groups of people is a powerful force indeed.

Ach, so take pity on me and de-lurk.  Last weekend lots of new London people de-lurked at the Meursault shows and said hello, which was rather nice.  And just last night Jesus H. Foxx de-lurked as well, opening their new blog to the public, where they are going to post news on the recording of their new album as well as demos and works in progress from the recording sessions, so I recommend you keep an eye on that one.

1. Ideal stag/hen do.
2. Stag/hen do from hell (anecdotal or imaginary).
3. Most dubious place you’ve ever allowed a partner to go, unsupervised.
4. Marriage: is there really any point (this is not a loaded question; I am married myself, remember, and I still don’t think I have an answer).
5. Proportion of your life you’ve known your current/last partner.

Billy Bragg – The Marriage

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Tom Waits – Better off Without a Wife (Yes, I know I always play this one.)

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Mark Lanegan – Wedding Dress

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Clem Snide – Forever, Now & Then

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Snow Patrol – Make Love to Me Forever

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I posted a spot of video yesterday, which I don’t normally do.  Not that I don’t get sent videos by people, more that… well, I don’t know why, really.  I guess I spend enough time trying to figure out what I want to write about albums, I don’t really make time to think about videos much.  Besides, at the level of music I am generally interested in most videos are just a vehicle for the song anyway.  And I can listen to albums whilst doing my proper job, which also hel… you’ve dozed off haven’t you?  Sorry.

Anyhow, this week I have posted a massive THREE videos.  Three!  How ’bout that.  And this weekend there will be another eight going up, from the New Year’s House Gig, including something of an exclusive: a new Broken Records song.  So there you go, we’ve turned into some sort of multimedia news-whore hipster haven in the new year, shocking isn’t it.

So, on yesterday’s posting of the new OK Go video, Bart suggested that I ask about favourite music videos for this week’s Friday Fives.  I thought I answered him politely enough, but the poor fellow’s gone completely off the rails.  I tried to get to the bottom of what he was burbling on about in that inscrutable ginger way of his, but all he said was this:

And erm, tee hee, sorry!  Gingers – the last ethnic minority it’s okay to ritualistically make fun of.  Anyhow, minor mentalist distractions aside, I thought this was an excellent idea, so this week’s five will all be about music videos.  This should be as good an opportunity to de-lurk as any, and of course, that’s what the Friday Fives are for – getting people out of the woodwork and onto the page – so have a go at these five.  the easiest way to answer is probably to just link to the YouTube videos where appropriate, I guess, but please don’t try and embed them in the comments.  I have no idea if it would work, and it will make the whole thread an ungodly mess – just paste in the URL and the link will be added automatically.

1. Favourite music video
2. Favourite laughably dated music video.
3. Favourite massively DIY music video.
4. Strongest memory of MTV.
5. Favourite band-related moment in an actual motion picture.

Clem Snide – Made for TV Movie

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Ben Folds Five – Video

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Nirvana – Dumb (MTV Unplugged)

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Bruce Springsteen – Thunder Road (MTV Unplugged)

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The A-Team Theme (Okay, the movie looks awful, but I couldn’t resist posting this)

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Unfortunately due to technological disasters there was no recording, and not even any broadcasting, of last week’s Mammoeth session I’m afraid.  So I’d like to apologise to Russell, and promise to get him back in next year at the first available opportunity to have another go. I suppose it’s no consolation to any of you for me to tell you that he was really good?  No, thought not.

As for this week, we were supposed to have Dan from Withered Hand and Neil from Meursault doing a joint session, because they are recording a joint EP in the near future and it seemed like a nice idea.  Dan is unable to make it unfortunately, so you will have to make do with Neil I’m afraid.  Fortunately the lad can sing a bit so it’s unlikely to ruin your evening.

As per usual the playlist below will be updated live as we go along, and the comments section will be the best place for all your usual abuse/sniping/snide remarks.

Live on Air 7pm-8.30pm – Listen live here.

This week’s playlist:
1. Shearwater – Castaways
2. Navigator- Work Is Done
3. Meursault – Love or Limb (live in session)
4. Kath Bloom – Come Here
5. Clem Snide – I Heard My Mother  Praying For Me
6. Meursault – An untitled triptych! (live in session)
7. The Libertines – Tell The King
8. The Streets – Same Old Thing
9. Samamidon – Head Over Heels
10. Meursault- What You Don’t Have (live in session)
11. Wounded Knee – Oh My Captain!
12. Meursault – Heaven Waits (live in session)
13. Eagleowl – Sleep the Winter

For those of you who aren’t blind it should be rather obvious that we’ve had something of a facelift around here.  Massive thanks are due to Andy from Nonimage for his work on the site, not least for his patience in dealing with my pernickety* nature.  As a designer, I can promise you that having another designer for a client is an unspeakable nightmare, and he really has been very patient.

There may be a few kinks to work out over the next day or so, but if you have any obvious functional issues then drop me an email and we’ll get on them.  Or you could just leave a comment on this post I guess, that might do the trick too.

Thanks Andy.  Sorry for being such a colossal pain in the arse.

Clem Snide – Beautiful

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* Sorry, Americans, there’s no ‘s’ – don’t know where you get that nonsense from.

Nah don’t be daft, of course it doesn’t.  Friday loves you. It loves your Mum too.  Does your Mum have great tits?  I reckon she probably does.

Today technology is King.  I remember my first few days being properly employed and how far away the things we take for granted really are.  I was working on concepts for this kind of stuff years ago, and it may not have ever come into production,  but it’s amazingly exciting to see the future actually happen, right before your eyes.  Honestly, we would sit and have meetings on just how feasible video calling was and how much the ubiquitous ‘do-it-all PDA’ would be able to do for you.  It’s odd to look back on because now, pretty much all of it is here.

Yesterday I saw my silly old folks on Skype.  I have an iPhone too, which means that despite the mild embarrassment of being an iPhone person, I can always reach people.  It’s downright bizarre – basically technology has overtaken the popular imagination in the last few years, and now all these things which seemed downright stupid a year or so ago now seem kind of sensible.  And many of them exist already.

Had it not been for technology like email and SMS messages Mrs. Toad and I might not be together at all.  For the first two and a half years of our relationship I lived in London and she in Edinburgh, so texts and emails pretty much held us together during the week, as we waited for the chance to travel 400 miles on the weekend to see one another.  I know social networking sites have their critics (mostly idiots) but their capabilities are pretty amazing, when you think where technology was even just five years ago.

So, erm, good luck with the rest of your lives and hopefully this week’s technology-based five will be up your street:

1. Name your favourite scientific theory.  Or just name one – any one.
2. Favourite gadget.
3. Do you know what the term ‘anecdotal evidence’ means?  Why the FUCK NOT?
4. Most Star Trekky bit of technology in common use today.
5. Which technology on the ‘coming soon’ list are you most looking forward to?

1. Trips & Falls – In Real Life He Wears Corduroy Pants

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2. Clem Snide – The Dairy Queen

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3. Maxwell Panther – Too Many Magazines

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4. The Men They Couldn’t Hang – Going Back to Coventry

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5. Enfant Bastard – Gremlin

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Yes, bitches, this Friday is no mercy day.  Not really sure why, but Yarrrgh and so on.  Actually this Friday might finally mark my DJ debut.  I have to confess that a considerable part of me wants to suggest just taking my iPod and sticking the fucking thing on random, but any committed Music Nazi is always going to be happy to force other people to listen to their choice of tunes, the only real question I have is what the fuck everyone else gets out of it.  So if you want to come along and point and laugh whilst I break other people’s equipment, then Sneaky Pete’s this evening is the place to come.

Mrs Toad is away, you know.  Another week of solitude to endure, and then the silly old bag is home again next weekend.  The street lights have just gone off, indicating morning, I believe.  So what, though.  Fuck you and your breakfast.  I actually don’t think I’ve eaten breakfast in about fifteen years.  It’s pretty fucking dark actually, so I’m a little surprised to see the council decided that tomorrow has arrived.

Erm, so I’m going to be at work with a colossal hangover and an air of desperation, hoping for the weekend.  You, on the other hand, are going to illuminate your day by participating in the Song, by Toad Friday Fives.  I don’t care that you’ve never taken part before, and I don’t care that you might not necessarily have anything side-splittingly witty to say.  That doesn’t matter – just chip in and then go for a pint to celebrate the latest in a long sequence of weekends.

1. DJs – can you name a good one, or are they basically just a hairy version of the random function which takes a shit occasionally?
2. What is your normal breakfast?
3. Hve you ever DJd anywhere other than your own party?
4. Do you actually like the music they play in nightclubs or do you just go in order to drink more and maybe pull some pointless old skank?
5. Who do you think actually does like the music in nightclubs?

The Smiths – Panic

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The Pierces – Boring

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Clem Snide – Your Favourite Music

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The Mountain Goats – Dance Music

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R.E.M. – I’m Gonna DJ

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Instead of simply vanishing this afternoon, Mrs. Toad and I will be stopping by the Edinburgh College of Art to see the degree show before we fuck off. The exhibition isn’t officially until tomorrow, but as we are going away we have been given special permission to attend the friends and family viewing. If that hadn’t worked out I was all up for crashing it, frankly, because really, just how fucking hard is an art school bouncer going to be?

“Fuck off out of my way you malnourished, over-emotional little cunt, I’m going to see some fucking art and you aren’t going to stand in my way.” Virtually a First Class with Honours performance piece in itself, if you ask me.

Needless to say, I wasn’t too popular at the Glasgow School of Art when I was there.

This week’s five are entirely unrelated to the songs for a change.  This week I have chosen five songs which are deeply intertwined with our relationship.  Not really for any good reason, but the prospect of finally getting away from everything to spend a couple of unbroken weeks with your young lady after weeks and weeks of working late, editing video into the night, uploading this, going to that gig, all the things I find myself doing far too much of these days, is not just a bit of a treat, it’s really quite romantic.  What are you two doing this week? Nothing.  Hanging out together, because we get on.  We get on really, really well.  So there.

And, er, five thingies and so on… de-lurk if you fancy, this is the weekly amnesty for people who don’t want to jump into the somewhat cliquey weekly arguments about whether or not some particular record may or may not be under-produced.  Spit out your five, interesting, entertaining, witty or just banal, no-one cares.  Then talk pish to your heart’s content.  It’s fucking Friday, after all.

1.  What is the smelliest cheese you can handle?
2. If you had to choose between clean pants (no, Americans) or clean socks, which would it be.
3. Worst smell you can remember enduring.
4. Which foodstuff gives you the stinkiest shites in the morning?
5. Which foodstuff can you simply not stand the smell of to begin with?

Tom Waits & Crystal Gale – Take Me Home

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Billy Bragg & Wilco – Hesitating Beauty

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Bob Dylan – Tonight I’ll Be Staying Here With You

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Tom Waits – All the World is Green

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Clem Snide – All Green

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Rampant Chutney Consumerism and Tart, two of the most entertaining and appreciated commenters on this site, have both just discovered Clem Snide.  This is fucking amazingly good news, as far as I am concerned because both Clem Snide themselves and Eef Barzelay, their front man, have produced some of my favourite music of all time.  Consequently, I have dedicated this Friday’s Five to helping people find even more Clem Snide which they might love.

Clem Snide, after roughly a five year hiatus, are back together again and released Hungry Bird earlier this year.  So what better way to celebrate a Biblical holiday than by celebrating the work of a nice Jewish boy who has recently, in a manner of speaking, been reborn.  I mean, it’s more appropriate than the way Christians insist on celebrating it.  In the words of Bill Hicks: “I’ve read the Bible.  I can’t find the words bunny or chocolate anywhere in that fucking book.”  Still, given that we are slowly divesting ourselves of the boring Christian festivals (When actually is Lent, anyone?  Actually, don’t answer that, I really don’t care.) and trying very hard to pretend that the fun Pagan ones were actually Christian all along (Christmas – Yay! for pressies and massive over-indulgence) I figure that the eggs and bunnies and all that shit might as well be suffered to hang around a little bit longer.

Besides, I have a menstruating woman’s taste for chocolate.

Erm, quite how that leads us onto a five for this Friday is beyond me.  On the subject of things that come in fives, incidentally, this weekend we are putting together the new five song Meursault acoustic EP.  It is morose as hell, fucking unbelievably good, and will be available at live shows and from the Toad Records site, starting at Homegame next weekend.

Please de-lurk and say hello.  Rhian, Corrie and Becky have been very welcome additions to the fountain of inane blather in which we indulge on a daily weekly basis around these parts, so if you’ve never commented before, why not make today the day to start.  After all, it’s Easter, so this week’s five are likely to be a little quieter than usual.  Is that a good thing?  I’m not sure. Oh, and no talking nonsense until you’ve filled in your five either, that’s just cheating.

1. Eggs – pickled, chocolate, scrambled, hard-boiled, devilled…?  Name your poison.
2. What’s cuter, bunnies or kittens?  Should we start a campaign for the Easter Kitten?  The Easter Mongoose?
3. How many Easter eggs does it take to make you feel just that little bit sick.
4. You know, they’re making salmon fish fingers these days.  Salmon really is too cheap.  I remember when it used to be a treat, now it’s everywhere.  What’s your example?
5. Favourite moment in Life of Brian.

Clem Snide – Nick Drake Tape (From You Were a Diamond)

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Clem Snide – The Dairy Queen (From Your Favourite Music)

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Clem Snide – Let’s Explode (From Ghot of Fashion)

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Clem Snide – All Green (From Soft Spot)

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Clem Snide – Tiny European Cars (From The End of Love)

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And, just for shits and giggles and because ‘five’ is more of a guideline than a rule, here’s some of Eef Barzelay’s solo stuff, for your enjoyment.

Eef Barzelay – Ballad of Bitter Honey (From Bitter Honey)

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Eef Barzelay – Make Another Tree (From Lose Big)

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