Song, by Toad

Posts tagged doug anthony allstars

Matthew Young

The Raconteurs – Almost Music 2.0

Toys - Pram

Well I mentioned that The Raconteurs announced the imminent release of their new album, bypassing all the media sorts who might throw our infantile notions of what is good, bad or indifferent into the mix before people have a chance to listen to the thing of their own accord. I didn’t really offer much commentary at the time because I was excited and, to be entirely honest, I thought I’d take the opportunity to be a news-whore for a change instead of a recalcitrant straggler.

David Bennum, writing for the Guardian, has changed my mind with what comes across as a rather sulky, childish whinge about the whole business. Some of his remarks, and some of the comments on that thread, bear answering because most of it seems to rather miss the point – not by a large margin, but by a significant one.

The most snide accusation, and the one where he comes across as a jilted teenager, is in the penultimate paragraph:

Only a cynic would point out that when a film is released without preview screenings for critics, it’s usually because it’s so dire that it overrides the dictum about no publicity being bad publicity. And only Bill Hicks’s hated notional marketeer would view this as a marketing gimmick in itself: “They’re going for that anti-marketing dollar. That’s a good market, they’re very smart.”

Would Sir like Sir’s toys back, perhaps? In terms of it being a marketing ’stunt’, this may or may not be accurate. Either way it is irrelevant. A new Raconteurs album was always going to be big news, however it was announced. This is only an anti-marketing approach if you can’t see past the limited tools of marketing in the year 2002. Nowadays this is just sensible. More evidence that Bennum has missed more than one point in this particular area can be found in the following quote:

It’s a shame that it’s only really viable for an act which, including as it does Jack White, already possesses both presumed financial security and an existing audience. If nobody had heard of the Raconteurs, then without pre-publicity, they might as well shoot the album into space as release it to an oblivious public, regardless of format, date, content or the best of intentions.

This is almost one-hundred percent wrong. In fact, it sounds like someone who didn’t get the chance to write about the Radiohead release but was determined to use those arguments somewhere, regardless of relevance.

In fact, the scenario he is describing as not being viable for an obscure band makes perfect sense. Whether by ‘legitimate’ journalists or amateur hacks like myself, most music criticism and almost all music chatter is online nowadays. As Vampire Weekend demonstrated, buzz is a fickle mistress on teh internetz, and can be gone in a flash. Their buzz-o-meter pretty much peaked at around album release time, so by the time the thing itself was in the shops, the backlash was already beginning.

If you’re a small band, generating a few weeks’ worth of enthusiasm among music journos, amateur or professional, isn’t hard to do, compared with the enormous challenge of making yourself a household name. So why on earth would you want whatever small buzz of enthusiasm you manage to generate to take place in an environment where people can’t act immediately on it and buy the album. In fact, given how elusive a quality that buzz is, why would you bother trying to generate it unless you had an album to sell? If anything, Bennum’s argument is backwards: only the big groups can afford the luxury of teasing people for weeks and making them wait for the chance to actually act on their anticipation.

The other thing it might combat is this: when I first hear about an imminent release it is possible, whether or not it’s available in the shops, that I mind find it on BitTorrent. I’d rather buy the thing, and I don’t like using BitTorrent, but the temptation is frequently too strong – there it is, I can listen to it right now, all I have to do is click! The longer illegal means have the market monopoly, the more likely they are to be used, I would guess. This is only speculation, but I think it can only be helpful to have legitimately purchasable versions available at the same time as the dodgy ones are.

What this whole thing might actually be, as Bennum does quite rightly suppose, is an attack on music journalism, which is a profession none too beloved of Mr. White (pinching the links from the Guardian). Whilst I may take issue myself with accusations of laziness, in light of the recent Black Crowes comedy, music journalists are not in the best position to be self-righteous about this at the moment.

But seriously, what does Bennum think being a music journalist is? Music is about taste. No amount of qualifications or expertise or insider privilege will send me to read the work of a music journalist whose taste leads me down blind alleys – see Q or NME, for example. So if his Raconteurs review comes out a week after the album was released and he’s had a chance to digest it, then how is this a problem? Why do people come to the Guardian for information in the first place? If they were scoop-whores salivating for leaks they’d be haunting torrent sites and music blogs.

Surely the biggest reason for generating pre-release hype was always to make as big an impression on the charts as possible, in the hope that this publicity would then add to the snowball and you’d sell loads.  As the truly hilariously out of touch Billboard 2007 Album Chart shows, charts just haven’t caught up with the explosion in retail avenues in the 21st Century, so aiming for the charts is futile.  In that case what do the first week sales matter?  Surely what matters is to sell a lot of albums over the course of a year or so and hence provide yourselves with an income.  For now, the first week push is old-model journalism and old-model marketing.

There are perfectly reasonable allegations of pretension to be levelled at The Raconteurs’ press release, which read more like a manifesto, but not particularly serious ones. Their points about the sanctity of the album format and a preference for vinyl are perfectly reasonable, but I can easily see how they could come across as a bit pretentious, depending on the absolutism with which they might be voiced. But ultimately, this is just a fairly sensible, non-controversial marketing approach, and one that I think we should come to expect in the future. The only really annoying thing is that it thwarts people who are obsessed, either through habituation or privileged arrogance, with being One Step Ahead at all times. That is our hang-up though, for us to deal with, and it is definitely not The Raconteurs’ problem.

Elbow – Any Day Now
Tom McRae – End of the World News
Generation X – Ready Steady Go
Doug Anthony All Stars – The Sun
The Holloways – Fit For a Fortnight

Matthew Young

Toadcast #23 – The Filthcast

Toadcast Tag

In preparation for applying for a slot on Edinburgh’s student radio station Fresh Air, I thought I would challenge myself to get through an entire podcast without actually swearing because, on public access radio, you can’t use naughty words. A Toad without swearing, you say, what the fuck has the world come to?

Well to make sure I don’t disappoint you in your noble quest for dissolute anti-culture I thought I’d compensate by playing a collection of the filthiest and most sweary songs I could lay my hands on. Thinking about it, I’ve managed to forget Serge Gainsbourg and Brigitte Bardot’s truly foul ‘Je T’aime, Moi Non Plus’, but there you go. I could have improved just about every playlist I’ve ever done in retrospect, I think, so at some point I have to draw the line.

So, I use bad words when I quote other people and when I give you the names of the songs but I don’t think I let a single naughty word slip during my own chat on this one, but let me know if you catch me out.

Toadcast #23 – The Filthcast

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01. Aidan John Moffat – Cunt (01.09)
02. The Pogues – Boys From the County Hell (05.24)
03. Adam Balbo -Let’s Make a Porno (10.03)
04. Celebrity Chimp – Pornstar (13.06)
05. The Tacticians – Hardcore Porn (15.37)
06. Billy Bragg – St. Swithin’s Day (21.05)
07. Grinderman – No Pussy Blues (26.05)
08. The Libertines – I Get Along (33.10)
09. Carbon/Silicon – What the Fuck (35.47)
10. Frank Turner – Heartless Bastard Motherfucker (42.03)
11. Les Enfant Bastard – U R My Fucking Sunshine U Cunt (44.52)
12. Plans & Apologies – Tony Blair Fucknut (49.50)
13. The Libertines – What a Waster (57.00)
14. Lambchop – Your Fucking Sunny Day (60.49)
15. The Ex-Men – Suck Her (67.35)
16. Micah P. Hinson – Patience (73.04)
17. Eels – It’s a Motherfucker (76.59)
18. Doug Anthony Allstars – I Fuck Dogs (80.07)

Matthew Young

Fuck Me, It’s the Lowest Common Denominator With You People

Cuntz

Bloody hell people. I go away for an evening and I come back and which post has a flood of comments? Which post? Is it the works of the lovely Little Name? Or the splendid White Rabbits? Or the podcast for which I sacrificed both my liver and my dignity? No it fucking isn’t, goddamn it, it’s the flailing spastic Britney eunuch, squealing and yelping his way through ten minutes of car crash humiliation. This website has fucking pretensions, dammit; grandiose, sweeping, enormously vainglorious pretensions, and being an online version of Heat magazine isn’t one of them. Think the wit of Bill Hicks, the passion of Richard Dawkins, the encyclopedic knowledge of John Peel, the swagger of Eric Cantona, the compassion of Margaret Thatcher and the incisive analytical skills of William Dembski. That is what this website aspires to be, curse you illiterate, flibbertigibbet tittle-tattle mongers.

And to make matters worse, who should link to the very same post? The bloody Guardian Music Blog. Bastards. I probably spend more time writing this blog than I do wanking, drinking gin and snorting coke off the bare buttocks of cut-price Central Asian prostitutes with excessive and not particularly attractive inner-thigh beards combined and what do the uber-blog of all uber-blogs deem worthy of their notice? The ‘mock the spastic’ post. Marvellous.

I give up. It’s The View and The Klaxons and Lilly Allen and Kate Nash and Pete Doherty and lolcats and pictures of girls with large breasts and amusing YouTube videos of someone’s mate getting a bit pissed and being sick down himself at this cool party last week and gossip about whether or not Fall Out Boy might actually spend all day weeing down the inside of their own trouser legs because they’re just that fucking spineless and anything else I can find of as little artistic merit as has ever been excreted by the intellectual dregs of the human race from this point onwards.

How am I ever going to win a Pulitzer Prize like this, people? Think of my aspirations. It’s enough to make me write another post criticising Rilo Kiley. Actually no, that was way too scary, I’m not going near that one again. It’s time we upped the quality of intellectual discourse around here people, we need to drag the Whole Internet up from the gutter whence it has fallen and I think this website is perfectly poised to galvanise this crucial revolution in the behavioural patterns of the human race as a species.

As an exercise, in 7 words or less (but don’t risk being superficial, now), I ask you all to attempt to resolve the following philosophical conundrum for this evening’s homework:

Either:

1. Intelligent Design Theory is a superficially plausible theory that unfortunately conflicts with virtually all known facts about the origins and development of life on this planet and must unfortunately be discarded as being unscientific…

…or, alternatively…

2. Intelligent Design Theory is an intellectually vacant argument from ignorance and personal incredulity that explains absolutely nothing and indeed makes no meaningful statements at all, and is only intended to dupe the weak, the fearful and the ignorant into rejecting rational thought and thus becoming more easily manipulated by cynical, dishonest theocratic lunatics who profit from the blind loyalty of their criminally misled flock.

Answers on a postcard please. And now, some songs that reflect both the newfound emotional maturity and the improved level of intellectual content on the utterly reformed Song, by Toad:

Doug Anthony AllStars – I Fuck Dogs
Doug Anthony AllStars – Sailor’s Arms
Doug Anthony AllStars – The Sun

Matthew Young

Scottish Justice Goes Oprah

Oprah

I may be the only one out there who does, but I think that this is a terrible idea. According to The Scotsman, victims of crime are to be given the chance to make a statement in court prior to sentencing.

[Kenny MacAskill, the justice secretary] said that, for too long, victims had been treated as “baggage” by the system, but the statement would give them the chance to say how the crime had impacted on their lives, whether emotionally, physically or financially. In murder cases, the family of the victim would have the right to provide a statement.

In all instances, the statement would have to be taken into account by the sheriff or the judge, and it could result in a longer sentence.

Basically the criminal justice system only works because it does not do this. It is supposed to be dispassionate, objective and detached because this is the best way to ensure equal treatment for all – divorce the process from emotion and evaluate the facts. I know that emotional damage is one of the facts that must be evaluated, but sentences based more heavily on pity, anger or vengeance is the only thing this will achieve. There is a reason judges are experts in the law and not supposed to have any sort of interest in the outcome of a case – if you let people with direct involvement become too involved then they will just be looking to exact revenge which is absolutely, squarely not what criminal justice is about.

Criminal justice is about one thing: deterrence. In a social animal there are several ways to subvert the common social contract and perpetuate one’s genes by undesirable methods and the credible threat of punishment is the way in which we prevent it. So a criminal justice system must be forceful, objective as possible and not so severe that its mistakes destroy its validity to the social group it is there to police. Human beings are basically evolutionary animals and we have to understand the role of punishment and social rules in governing our instinctive behaviours.

MacAskill also said the following:

“We have to put victims at the heart of the criminal justice system”

No, Kenny, we don’t. In fact I suspect that is exactly the opposite of what we should be doing. Does their victim status have to depend on the vagaries of the criminal justice system? Surely victim support should be an unconditional right of all victims of crime, irrespective of whether or not there is someone there to prosecute. Victims should be at the heart of the victim support system, criminals should be at the heart of the criminal justice system.

The courtroom is not the place for support group-style psychotherapy in the form of cathartic confessions. I understand that people may want this, I’m saying that they shouldn’t get it. This sort of emotional minefield needs to be dealt with by professionals somewhere else. The courtroom is for prosecuting criminals and the only thing that should matter should surely be what they did and whether or not it is legal, not how anyone feels about it. Otherwise we take another hugely unwelcome step towards a Jerry Springer style lynch mob justice system.

I may be completely wrong about this, so please do set me straight if you think so, but this whole idea seems deeply suspect to me.

Bob Dylan – Who Killed Davey Moore? (Live 1964)
The Detroit Cobras – Cry On
The Nips – Vengeance Shane MacGowan’s band before The Pogues.
The Doug Anthony All Stars – Oprah

Matthew Young

Filth! The Doug Anthony All Stars

What's My Blog Rated? From Mingle2 - Online Dating

Apparently the reason is excessive use of the words fuck and fucking. And suicide. It apparently doesn’t have a cunt-o-meter for my Paris Hilton post, and the word whore didn’t even get a look in. I am disappointed and feel I must do better – I mean, there must be a worse rating than that to be achieved and it’s important to have goals in life.

So, in order to up my ratings on the Super Automated Thinkofthechildren Filth-O-Matic I present The Doug Anthony All Stars (wiki). They are a long-since deceased and sorely missed musical comedy of bile filth and hatred group from Australia and they are one of the brightest stars in the Toad firmament. I think it’s pretty much a litmus test for being just my sort of truly wrong person. If you don’t love this stuff, you really aren’t quite nasty, dirty or offensive enough for me and, instead of being true soul-mates, maybe we’re just like in-laws: we get on because we have to and we may like each other quite a lot but we will never really be Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes.

Which is my tactful way of saying watch out, these lads truly are a bit off the deep end and very much an acquired taste, so don’t be at all surprised if you hate this. That said, if you’re secretly a bit of a deviant, prepare for a treat.

Doug Anthony All Stars – I Fuck Dogs (Yes, you read that right)
Doug Anthony All Stars – Gilbert & Sullivan II
Doug Anthony All Stars – State Forest Dilemma
Doug Anthony All Stars – If You’re Happy/Waco

“Oprah Winfrey, you are the Gross National Product.”

Oh stop bloody whingeing. It’s Friday for fuck’s sake.