Christ al-fucking-mighty I need to stay away from the fucking news.
“A person is smart. People are dumb, panicky, dangerous animals and you know it.” Men in Black was supposed to be a comedy with hilarious little aliens not biting social satire.
I can’t get over the complete fucking idiots raving on about the Knighthood for Salman Rushdie. The Pakistani Minster for Religious Affairs (could there be a job title that made huge helpings of bum-clownery more inevitable?) had this to say (from the Beeb):
“The West always wonders about the root cause of terrorism. Such actions [giving Sir Salman a knighthood] are the root cause of it. If someone commits suicide bombing to protect the honour of the Prophet Mohammad, his act is justified. If Britain doesn’t withdraw the award, all Muslim countries should break off diplomatic relations.”
He back-tracked on this later, but the British High Commisioner was actually summoned to the Ministry of Foreign Affairs to explain himself. And in any case, that nice little statement pretty well encapsulates the reaction of a sizeable number of hysterical nutters. Not ‘the Islamic World’ and not ‘Muslims’ but the fucking crazy ones who could well do with being told, to paraphrase Bill Hicks, that ‘If this bothers you I suggest taking a good look at the world in which we live and…
…shutting your fucking mouth.’
The Iranian government may be legendary nutjobs, but check this out, from this BBC report:
“This insulting, suspicious and improper act by the British government is an obvious example of fighting against Islam,” Iran’s Foreign Ministry Director for Europe, Ebrahim Rahimpour, was quoted as saying
There was also, with not a shred of detectable irony, this little gem from Britain’s first Muslim member of the House of Lords, Lord Ahmed (reported: here & here):
“Actually I was appalled to hear that Salman Rushdie had been given a knighthood, particularly when this man has been very divisive,” he said. “This man – as you can see – not only provoked violence around the world because of his writings, but there were many people that were killed around the world and honouring the man who has blood on his hands, sort of because of what he did, honouring him I think is going a bit too far.”
Salman Rushdie, that callous and brutal writer of books has blood on his hands? Well unless he gave himself a papercut whilst doing his research, that is one of the most idiotic statements I have ever heard. His statement basically says that if someone expresses an idea that makes someone so cross he goes out and kills someone to avenge his hurt feelings that the person who expressed the idea is to blame, rather than the person committing the killing. If he truly believes this, he is a irredeemable fuckwit.
Now I can hear cries of cultural relativism echoing through the internets as I speak – respect the difference between cultures, insulting someone’s religion is a serious thing, etc, etc. Bullshit, I’m afraid.
The fundamental difference between Western and radicalised (not all, obviously) Islamic society at the moment is very neatly embodied by this one issue. No matter how theocratic and bonkers Bush and Blair and his followers ever get accused of being, there are more books hugely offensive to Christian sensibilities published, without much more than a mild whinge, in these ostensibly Christian countries than there are books offensive to Islam. By orders of magnitude, I should imagine.
If you wanted a definition of fundamentalism, this can’t be far from it. Drawing the line between causing offence and actual harm is fucking obvious. There are reasons of expediency behind this – just how do you effectively legislate against ideas? – but primarily it is a point of principle at the very heart of the modern concept of freedom: that all people are free to hold and express their opinions no matter what they are.
Trying to make certain kinds of ideas in some way illegal to avoid discrimination against people to whom they are unfavourable automatically discriminates against the person whose idea you are repressing. The only way to actually have freedom of religion is to have complete freedom to criticise and even insult religion because if you attack that right you simultaneously attack your own freedom.
Salman Rushdie may or may not deserve his Knighthood on an artistic basis, this is entirely open for debate, and it is of politically questionable benefit to award it. But would you rather deny someone an acknowledgement of their artistic achievements because you don’t want to inflame psychopathic religious fundamentalists?
So if his Knighthood offends you you of course have the right to be offended, enraged, to complain and to protest. What you do not have the right to do is to cause harm because no actual harm has been done to you. I’ve also had about enough of apologising to these retards. There is only one response to people who are getting their knickers in a twist over this and demanding punitive actions, diplomatic actions and the rest of it: shut up whining and get the fuck over it. You’ll live.
What songs can possibly go with that little rant then? I confess, I am at a little bit of a loss.
The 63 Crayons – Forget the War, Let’s Go Shopping!
Grandaddy – Underneath the Weeping Willow
Elvis Costello & the Attractions – (What’s So Funny ‘Bout) Peace, Love & Understanding?
Alabama 3 – Woke Up This Morning
I post this one a lot, but it is one of the best songs in existence. You want to talk sensitivity to other cultures, being tolerant of barbaric beliefs such as death by stoning for adultery and suicide bombing as a resonable to response to religious criticism? Fuck it, you go and live with the nutters who advocate this shit then, and then tell me if we don’t have to fight against it.
The Dead Kennedys – Holiday in Cambodia
No, not really. My standard excuse for not doing drugs, and I think it’s a good one, is that I struggle enough to contain the one in which I do partake, which is alcohol. Adding another self-destructive pharmaceutical to the list would just be plain fucking silly. And so I have never partaken of anything more horrifying than marijuana. I think this would make me a shit parent.
