Song, by Toad

The shortlist is a little depressing.  I remember when the Mercurys were not just a Radio 1 playlist on a really shit day at work.  To be entirely fair to them, there are a couple of pretty decent picks, but they are somewhat drowned out by the stampede of abysmal cuntery from the likes of Britain’s very own walking ear infection, Amy Winehouse, and her depressingly uninspiring ilk.

Arctic Monkeys – Favourite Worst Nightmare – Just not a very good album.  There are some good bits, some cracking lyrics and some great riffs.  But this record is patchy at best, and they are verging dangerously close to becoming the new Oasis.
Dizzee Rascal – Maths and English – Token music for Blicks (please imagine heavy South African accent when pronouncing this).
The View – Hats Off to the Buskers – Token music for complete and utter cunts.
Bat For Lashes – Fur and Gold – This is not new, and it is shit.  Imagine a super-group made up of the best bits of Bjork, the best bits of Belly and the best bits of Portishead.  Then imagine the leftovers.  This is them.
Klaxons – Myths of the Near Future – Myths of Tolerability, more like. Nu-rave.  Gosh yes, dance music with a bit of guitars is definitely a brand new genre, never heard of before and entirely justifying its own classification and hysterical shrieking about the second coming.  Is this type of music not covered by the term ’shit’ already?
Jamie T – Panic Prevention – Anyone using initials in this manner is a twat.  Fucking grow up.  He may not be an irritating mockney twat, but with a handle like that he certainly bloody well sounds like one.
The Young Knives – Voices of Animals and Men – This album is really so medium I can’t even hate it.  In fact I can barely be arsed typing this.  This is a prize, you fuckwits, not just a pat on the back for turning up.
Maps – We Can Create
Fionn Regan – The End of History – The inclusion of these two gives me a little hope not everything is turning into the NME Awards of Empty Indie Hysteria.
Basquiat Strings with Seb Rochford – Basquiat Strings – If you look, there’s always a nominee at the Mercurys designed to show just how cultured, obscure and judicious the panel are.  They also act like some token ‘intellectual’ inclusion to demonstrate the open-minded and inclusive nature of the awards that, much like the token ‘urban’ nominee, nevertheless completely fails to give the impression that anyone on the panel actually ever listens to either record.
Amy Winehouse – Back to Black – If there was an award for Punchably Unbearable Self-Obsessed Twattery it would probably have to be named after this raggedy old trout.  If you ever wanted to imagine what a sexually transmitted disease looked like in human form, you couldn’t go too far wrong if you directed someone to a picture of The Winehouse.  Provided you warned them that the emotional damage caused by gazing on her skeletal figure, gurning puss and avian-beaked visage was likely to require years of therapy to expunge, of course.  A one-woman erection assassin.
New Young Pony Club – Fantastic Playroom – Another decent choice.  Not my flavour exactly, but at least a little interesting.

So, I don’t know, what do you think?  Dross like Bat For Lashes, The View and Jamie T and the rather dubious selection of the Arctic Monkeys make it look a bit like a list put together on autopilot, without any real thought applied.  On the other hand, there are at least a couple of interesting choices.  NME be shamed, you have been out-rock ‘n’ rolled by the Mercury Prize!

Maps – You Don’t Know Her Name[audio http://www.fileden.com/files/2007/3/28/933060/Maps-YouDontKnowHerName.mp3]
New Young Pony Club – Fan[audio http://www.fileden.com/files/2007/3/28/933060/NewYoungPonyClub-Fan.mp3]
Fionn Regan – Put a Penny in the Slot[audio http://www.fileden.com/files/2007/3/28/933060/FionnRegan-PutaPennyintheSlot.mp3]
Arctic Monkeys – Put Your Dukes Up John[audio http://www.fileden.com/files/2007/3/28/933060/TheArcticMonkeys-PutYourDukesUpJohn.mp3]

A couple of mp3 files pinched from The Pelican’s Perch and Music For Kids Who Can’t Read Good.  Sorry lads, hope you don’t mind!

Mrs Toad and myself went to Bestival on the Isle of Wight last year and, although we thoroughly enjoyed ourselves, I must admit that this year I was after something a little smaller. There’s something rather uninspiring about bald fields covered in a sea of broken plastic cups and a two hour queue for warm beer. Once the truly abysmal Bestival lineup for 2007 was announced – Beastie Boys, Chemical Brothers, Primal Scream? Have I gone back in time by ten years or something? – I decided that was it, I was looking for something smaller and far more friendly. Sod the bands, I just want a nice weekend.

Well I’d exchanged a few emails with Simon from End of the Road Records about The Young Republic, who are superb and recently signed to the label. I knew the label had formed from the End of the Road Festival so I thought it might be a good one to take a chance on. There wasn’t much in the lineup that I recognised, but what the hell – a festival full of smaller, less well known bands would be quite fun. And besides, Howe Gelb was on there, so that did it for me and I bought a couple of tickets.

That was something in the region of a month ago. Since then that lineup has just got better and better, as Simon has dropped one gem after another into the mix. This morning they announced Midlake and Yo La Tengo. I can’t believe it! Suddenly instead of just looking forward to this, I am excited as little boy.

Full line-up thus far (I’ve highlighted the ones I think are interesting and provided a few samples – although I haven’t used the little player this time as the javascript would slow the whole page down too much with this many links, sorry):

Alessi (music)
Archie Bronson Outfit
Architecture In Helsinki - Heart it Races
The Bees
Besnard Lakes – Cedric’s War
Brakes
The Broken Family Band
C. W. Stoneking
Charlie Parr
The Congregation
Dan Sartain
Darren Hayman
David Thomas Broughton
David Vandervelde
Devastations
Euros Childs
Findlay Brown
Fionn Regan
Herman Dune
Howe Gelb – Pontiac Slipstream
Hush the Many
Hyacinth House
Indigo Moss
James Yorkston – Someplace Simple
Jeffrey Lewis
Jim White
Joan As Police Woman
Johnny Flynn – Brown Trout Blues
Josh T Pearson
King Creosote – Missionary
Micah P Hinson – I Still Remember
Midlake – Van Occupanther
Misty’s Big Adventure
Monkey Swallows the Universe
My Brightest Diamond
Paris Motel - Entrez Dans la Salpetriere
Pete and the Pirates
Port O’Brien
Reigns
Richard Swift
Seasick Steve
Slow Club
Sons of Noel and Adrian
Stephanie Dosen – Vinalhaven Harbour
Sunny Day Sets Fire
Super Furry Animals
Telegrams
The Twilight Sad – And She Would Darken the Memory
Viking Moses
Woodpigeon – Home
Yo La Tengo – Tom Courtenay
The Young Republic – Your Heart Belongs in Tennessee

Now all Simon has to do is pull off some miracle of scheduling that allows me to see absolutely all these bands, as well as leaving some space for me to check out some of the new ones. Good luck, mate!