Song, by Toad

You know, I’m not exactly naive when it comes to the internet.  I’ve done perfectly innocent Google image searches at work and then hurriedly had to cover up or stove in my monitor as all manner of filth made its appearance, irrespective of the tame nature of the search terms.

So I was up quite late recording this podcast and because only pervs and loonies seem to be up late* using the internet I reckoned that this should be called the Pervcast.  Particularly as I recorded most of it with a glass of wine in one hand and my nuts in the other – hey, it’s just comfortable alright, stop being so judgmental.

Anyhow, the minute I hit return on the search for a banner image for this Toadcast… well, I realised my mistake pretty much immediately.  I didn’t even realise most of that shit was even physically possible, never mind sought after.  Yeauch.  You internet people – you’re all wrong ‘uns, that’s what you are!

Toadcast #110 – The Pervcast

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01. The Silver Columns – Brow Beaten (04.50)
02. The Morning Benders – Promises (14.10)
03. Inspector Tapehead – Pherenzik Tear (17.10)
04. Amanaz – Khala My Friend (28.15)
05. The Tim & Sam Band – Choices (34.57)
06. Japandroids – Art Czars (48.24)
07. Waskerley Way – Yonder (52.19)
08. Fire Engines – Get Up and Use Me (56.32)
09. Patrick Bower & the World Without Magic – One Day Soon, I Will Break You (58.37)
10. Woozy Viper – Whoah, Baby! (66.12)

*Yes, I know, it was made up for (faintly) comical purposes – fuck off.

This podcast is slightly kinda somewhat about about the myopia of the London media, in particular as to how it pertains to Scotland and Scottish music, and slightly about the Glasgow media.  There are a number of different triggers for this, starting with this article in the Scotsman’s Under the Radar blog last year about the rejection by the editor of a London glossy of an article on four up-and-coming Scottish bands, made even more offensive by the fact that said editor had requested the damn article in the first place.

Of course, anyone who reads the London glossies knows they don’t half cover an awful lot of shite themselves, so they really are in no position to pass judgment, but these things are about personal taste at the end of the day and you really can’t force anyone to like stuff.

Then of course there was a wee bit of chatter about the Glasgow focus of the media in Scotland – like an endless set of Russian dolls, this kind of thing really can go on forever – particularly focussed on the remarkable Glasgow-centrism of The List’s Hot 100 list and then some stupid woman on BBC radio sneering at the Edinburgh music scene despite knowing no more of Glasgow than Mogwai or Franz Ferdinand.

So yes, there’s a bit of that going on as well, but for the most part it’s surprisingly non-confrontational given the level of annoyance I felt with both the BBC lady and the List list at the time.

Toadcast #105 – The Myopiacast

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01. James Yorkston – A Man of My Skills (04.26)
02. Frightened Rabbit – The Greys (10.22)
03. Orange Juice – Blue Boy (16.02)
04. The Pogues – Rake at the Gates of Hell (18.53)
05. Fang Island – Life Coach (27.56)
06. Her Name is Calla – Long Grass (30.51)
07. Fire Engines – Get Up and Use Me (37.59)
08. Last Battle – Ward 119 (47.44)
09. Sebastian Dangerfield – Morris (49.53)
10. Sigur Ros – Gong (58.05)

That there finely crafted piece of graphic art is the flyer for the Toad Night happening on Sunday at Sneaky’s.  Beauticious, isn’t it – took me almost fifteen minutes.  It should be a fun night though, particularly if you get lubricated at the Shipping Forecast Garden Party at the Pear Tree beforehand.

I was a guest DJ at Born to Be Wide last night, which was rather fun.  My assignment was to play about half an hour of unsigned Edinburgh bands, so it was a fine opportunity to make a club crowd listen to tunes by the likes of The Leg, Enfant Bastard, the Pineapple Chunks and eagleowl.  I can’t imagine there are many clubs where that sort of stuff is on the playlist, so that made me smile a little on the inside – particularly when I was approached by someone during eagleowl, demanding to know who was playing this wonderful song.  Score one for the wol.

The other comedy about last night was the lineup of guest DJs.  Born to Be Wide is a good night anyway, but last night Derek and Olaf truly excelled, getting porn director Ben Dover, actor and former Fire Engines singer Tam Dean Burn, and Orange Juice/Josef K/Low Miffs guitar hero Malcolm Ross to do sets at various points during the evening.  So yes: me, Ben Dover, Tam Dean Burn and Malcolm Ross.  I might as well retire now.

To make matters even more surreal, Malcolm did his Postcard Records set after my Unsigned Edinburgh one, and didn’t know how to use the DJ stuff, so I had to show him.  Talk about the blind leading the bloody blind – me with my almighty two sets of DJ experience having to show someone else how to use the equipment.  In future, of course, I am going to simply refer to this incident as ‘that time I taught Malcolm Ross to DJ’.  If any of you let slip the fact that this is a gross exaggeration to the point of pure fabrication, then I’ll kill you.

“What did you do last night Toad?”
“Oh the usual… played some tunes, had a couple of gins, taught Malcolm Ross how to DJ.  You get up to much?”

Not sure where I was going with that, actually.  Apart from trying explain the fact that it’s Friday and once again I have a massive hangover.  If only the day was 30 hours long I could sleep this shit off quite happily – curse you, Earth, and your excessively hasty axial rotation!  The only real consolation is that Mrs. Toad went on one of those corporate circle jerk team building buzzword bingo tossathons last night, staggered in so pished she didn’t even turn out the light in the bedroom and is now probably feeling far worse than I am.

Although knowing her, she’s probably curled up on the floor of the disabled loo having a crafty nap, the cheeky little minx.

1. Best ritual to get you to sleep.
2. Best tip for getting ready for work and out of the house fast with a stinking hangover.
3. Best hangover treat.
4. Best comfort food your mum made.
5. Best drunken debacle which happened to someone else and was hence very amusing instead of mortifying.

Orange Juice – Love Sick

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Josef K – Sorry For Laughing (Vinyl Version)

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Fire Engines – Get Up and Use Me

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The Shop Assistants – It’s Up to You

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Parenthetical Girls – A Song For Ellie Greenwich (Who is dead.  Ruth from the Bowery and I recorded a podcast yesterday, which will go up next Saturday, which goes into this in much more detail, but for now just look her up and marvel at quite how many truly legendary songs the woman wrote.  I genuinely had no idea.)

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There’s only time for a real quickie this week as I am working my hairy little buttocks off on the Broken Records stuff at the moment.  Still, in your insatiable thirst for pointless, self-indulgent rambling I was sure you’d want to listen to something splendid in the meantime.

There’s no underlying theme to anything either I’m afraid, just me rattling on about some current and very interesting music, as well as a couple of confessions so shocking you may never come back here again.  Looking at the playlist, I’m sure you can guess which ones they are.

So good luck with this, and I am already looking forward to the next one.

Toadcast #25 – The Quickcast[audio http://media.libsyn.com/media/songbytoad/ToadcastNo25.mp3]

01.  The Futureheads – Broke Up the Time (02.02)
02. Tapes ‘n’ Tapes – Hang Them All (05.05)
03. Meursault – Pissing on Bonfires/Kissing With Tongues(13.21)
04. The Byrons – Azerbaijan (19.13)
05. The Fire Engines – Candyskin (26.04)
06. The Close Lobsters – Firestation Towers (28.53)
07. Mighty Mighty – Law (34.21)
08. Kim Carnes – When I’m Away From You (41.14)
09. Meat Loaf – Took the Words Right Out of My Mouth (44.32)
10. Dirty Summer – War is Bad, Bono is Great (50.02)
11. The Low Lows – Dear Flies Love Spider (53.40)
12. Sargasso Trio – It’s Hot in Hell (58.32)
13. The Extraordinaires – High Five the Cactus (63.11)
14. Modernaire – Distraction (69.40)
15. The Indelicates – Point Me to the West (75.47)
16. Nick Cave & the Bad Seeds – Night of the Lotus Eaters(83.47)

Yes, you did read that correctly.  Meat Loaf.  Fuck off.

Remember Mrs. Toad’s review of the brilliant Low Miffs a little while back? Well she mentioned that the gig was opened by a rather mental act called The Bum Clocks. Who, you will almost certainly be asking yourselves, the fuck are The Bum-Clocks?

Edinburgh indie royalty is the answer: they are Tam Dean Burn on vocals, Malcolm Ross on guitar and Russell Burn on drums. If you don’t know who they are then don’t worry – a couple of weeks ago I wouldn’t have either.

Back in the early eighties, at the very birth of indie, Edinburgh enjoyed possibly the pinnacle of its fame as a hotbed of brilliant music. Of the groups regarded as the founding fathers of the indie movement, Fire Engines, Josef K and to a lesser extent Orange Juice were all either largely from Edinburgh or at least had strong Edinburgh connections. With the help of my internet pals I am only just starting to come to terms with this particular scene, but even I know that a group comprising the guitarist from Orange Juice and Josef K, the drummer from The Fire Engines and the actor who fronted The Fire Engines in their earlier incarnation as the Dirty Reds is something a little bit special.

A little bit mental too. For the Bum Clocks are self-described as the collision of Rabbie Burns and Iggy Pop. Now, like Mrs. Toad, I had always found Burns immensely tedious but I suppose that is primarily because the Tartan Shortbread crowd got their hands on his output years ago and so all you hear from the guy is his most saccharine, dismal rubbish. Seeing his words spat out with such venom was like witnessing a rebirth of poetry as an art-form. I almost feel a podcast coming on…

Anyway, see what you make of this lot. And listen to the guitar. Mr. Ross hasn’t lost it!

The Bum Clocks – Nine Inch Will Please a Lady
The Bum Clocks – Green Grow the Rashes (Someone else has a brilliant version of this poem to their name – is it Eddi Reader perhaps? I don’t quite remember but an ex-girlfriend put in on a compilation tape for me many years ago and it was gorgeous.)

With particular thanks to JC from the ever-brilliant Vinyl Villain for the mp3s. He sent me over a miniature avalanche after my last post pleading ignorance about these bands. The man’s a gent.

Josef K – It’s Kinda Funny (I see what they mean, JC, those 80s ‘pyoo pyoo’ sounds aren’t doing anyone any favours – see comments.)
Fire Engines – Candyskin (Peel Session Version
Orange Juice – Felicity

And just in case you were wondering: “BUM-CLOCK, A humming beetle, that flies in the summer evenings. (from Jamieson’s Scottish Dictionary -Edinburgh 1867)”