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Friday is Going to Burn You Alive

Posted by Matthew in Five for Friday on 24 Jul 09 • 103 Comments »

Burn the Wooden Man

Well, only if you are Nicolas Cage. And actually, if you were Nicolas Cage, then some of the films you have made in the last ten years or so might well merit a rampaging witch-hunt by some of the more embittered members of the acting community as you comically jam your two facial expressions (grim determination and spastic incomprehension) into one tedious, one-dimensional character after another for millions of dollars in reward, while they subsist on the breadline only by waiting table and selling their tender little chocolate blossoms in the backstreets for an insulting pittance.

Actually, maybe Song, by Toad should be looking to start some sort of ‘Burn Nicolas Cage campaign’. It would be a righteous mission and I think we could get a lot of people on board.

Erm, not sure how that started. Oh yes, Wickerman. Myself, Mrs. Toad and several of Scotland’s finest young bands will be heading down to the Wickerman Festival this weekend (that’s why I was thinking of burning Nicolas Cage). I am trying not to work too hard, so I haven’t arranged an awful lot of interviews, and I will not be taking the video camera with me.

What I will try and do though is record a podcast, or maybe two, while we’re there. I’ll be taking our wee Tascam voice recorder and my Blue Snowflake microphone and will try and get some bits and pieces from the bands and some chat and so on and upload it all on Saturday and Sunday mornings. I have no idea about the press facilities though, so god knows how successful this little plan is likely to be. If it all fails, I will simply upload a podcast on Sunday afternoon when we get back. So you’ll have to wait, but it will happen, promise.

In the meantime let’s get Five-tastic… no, sorry, that’s a disgraceful turn of phrase, I can’t countenance that sort of garbage. Come on then, spit out your Friday Fives and remember that Fridays are de-lurking amnesties, open to all and sundry and especially encouraged for those who have never commented before. Could this be your day? Go on, there’s nothing to be afraid of.

1. Most hated pointless remake of a classic film.
2. Mostly guiltily loved pointless remake of a classic film (no, Star Wars as a remake of The Fortress does not count).
3. Favourite Nic Cage film.
4. Most abysmal Nic Cage film.
(I’ll even help you with those – no need to know much, or even to care, just click here.)
5.Name another wooden beefcake actor who irritates the living shit out of you.

Is this post sexist?

Bonnie Prince Billy (fuck his fucking quotation marks) – You Will Miss Me When I Burn