It’s busy week, in the absence of Mrs. Toad, and ends with me actually DJing twice in the space of two nights towards the end of the week as well once at some point on Friday, although I’m not all that sure where – Cabaret Voltaire I think – and then the following day at the Bowery at MarchéMarché , which should be good fun.  I have been promised that on no account am I expected to motivate people to dance, which probably helps matters considerably.

Oh, and I’ve just realised that I am approaching a hundred kilos in weight – 215 pounds, or 15 Stone 5 for those of you still living in the dark ages – so it might be time for just a little less beer, slightly fewer biscuits and for yours truly to get off his fat arse and do some exercise.  Bloody  hell, reality can be a bastard when it prevents you doing exactly what you want when you want, can’t it.

Tuesday 20th October 2009: Findo Gask & Everything Everything at Cabaret Voltaire.

Everything Everything I don’t know so well, but Findo Gask are a band who I really love, despite their distinct lack of material, considering the length of time for which the band has existed.  They have a couple of terrific singles to their name – electronic, danceable and infectious as fuck, with just a little sadness in the mix as well – and the only time I’ve seen them they were excellent, but that was a while ago now.  So I’ll be along on Thursday as much to see what they’ve been doing with their time, as to take the chance to enjoy their live show again.

Findo Gask – Va Va Va

Audio clip: Adobe Flash Player (version 9 or above) is required to play this audio clip. Download the latest version here. You also need to have JavaScript enabled in your browser.

Tuesday 20th October 2009: Bat For Lashes & Yeasayer at The Picture House.

Personally, I think Bat For Lashes are pretty fucking dismal, honestly.  However I know a lot of my readers will be really up for this, so I thought I’d better mention it, just in case anyone was unaware this was happening.

Wednesday 21st October 2009: Mitchell Museum & The Scottish Enlightenment at Electric Circus.

These White Noise gigs start so bloody late they can fuck those of us with day jobs over for the rest of the week.  Still, I like Mitchell Museum, and the Scottish Enlightenment are returning to the fold after a very quiet couple of years.  They have a new album to show for their silence though, and have sent me a few songs through to sample, which I appreciate.  I’ve listened to them through a couple of times now, but not enough to really have anything clever to say about them yet, so I’ll just include one below and let you decide for yourselves.

The Scottish Enlightenment – Necromancer

Audio clip: Adobe Flash Player (version 9 or above) is required to play this audio clip. Download the latest version here. You also need to have JavaScript enabled in your browser.

Wednesday 21st October 2009: Clues, Munch Munch & Over the Wall at Electric Circus.

I know nothing about Clues, bar this one promo song, and that the press bumph mentioned some famous bands like Arcade Fire and so when talking about their history.  So not much information, but the song itself sounds very promising.

Clues – Perfect Fit

Audio clip: Adobe Flash Player (version 9 or above) is required to play this audio clip. Download the latest version here. You also need to have JavaScript enabled in your browser.

Thursday 22nd October 2009: Maps, Epic 26 & The Foundling Wheel at the Ark.

I quite fascinated by Maps, more from the descriptions I’ve heard than anything else.  I don’t actually know their music at all, despite their Mercury nomination a couple of years ago, but a band described as sonter shoegaze indie electronica sounds like a worthwhile punt to me.  Another plus is that these lot should be loud enough to silence the general chattering which the odd shape of the Ark tends to invite.

Friday 23rd October 2009: Meursault, Jesus H. Foxx, Y’All is Fantasy Island & the Occasional Flickers at the Bowery as part of the Oxjam Festival thingy.

The Bowery lineup is obviously the most Toad-friendly, with two of our bands on the bill, but there’s stuff happening all over the city on Friday.  It’s called Oxjam Take Over Edinburgh, I think, and one ticket gets you a wristband which will get you into everything – from the in-store performances at the Oxfam Music shop in the centre of town during the day, to this, to Sneaky Pete’s to Cabaret Voltaire and all sorts.
Full lineup and tickets here.

Meursault – The Furnace

Audio clip: Adobe Flash Player (version 9 or above) is required to play this audio clip. Download the latest version here. You also need to have JavaScript enabled in your browser.

Saturday 24th October 2009: MarchéMarché at the Bowery.

This is actually a craft fair, not a gig, but yours truly shall be DJing at the event, so that’s all the excuse I need to plug it to within an inch of its life.  Promises promises, as Mrs. Toad is no doubt muttering to herself at the moment.

Saturday 24th October 2009: My Latest Novel at Cabaret Voltaire.

I haven’t had a chance to see these guys at all recently, and I’ve heard hugely variable reports from the gigs they’ve played here recently.  The last album was no better than decent, in my view, but I loved Wolves and I still really want to catch them when I can.

My Latest Novel – All in All in All is All

Audio clip: Adobe Flash Player (version 9 or above) is required to play this audio clip. Download the latest version here. You also need to have JavaScript enabled in your browser.

The shortlist is a little depressing.  I remember when the Mercurys were not just a Radio 1 playlist on a really shit day at work.  To be entirely fair to them, there are a couple of pretty decent picks, but they are somewhat drowned out by the stampede of abysmal cuntery from the likes of Britain’s very own walking ear infection, Amy Winehouse, and her depressingly uninspiring ilk.

Arctic Monkeys – Favourite Worst Nightmare – Just not a very good album.  There are some good bits, some cracking lyrics and some great riffs.  But this record is patchy at best, and they are verging dangerously close to becoming the new Oasis.
Dizzee Rascal – Maths and English – Token music for Blicks (please imagine heavy South African accent when pronouncing this).
The View – Hats Off to the Buskers – Token music for complete and utter cunts.
Bat For Lashes – Fur and Gold – This is not new, and it is shit.  Imagine a super-group made up of the best bits of Bjork, the best bits of Belly and the best bits of Portishead.  Then imagine the leftovers.  This is them.
Klaxons – Myths of the Near Future – Myths of Tolerability, more like. Nu-rave.  Gosh yes, dance music with a bit of guitars is definitely a brand new genre, never heard of before and entirely justifying its own classification and hysterical shrieking about the second coming.  Is this type of music not covered by the term ‘shit’ already?
Jamie T – Panic Prevention – Anyone using initials in this manner is a twat.  Fucking grow up.  He may not be an irritating mockney twat, but with a handle like that he certainly bloody well sounds like one.
The Young Knives – Voices of Animals and Men – This album is really so medium I can’t even hate it.  In fact I can barely be arsed typing this.  This is a prize, you fuckwits, not just a pat on the back for turning up.
Maps – We Can Create
Fionn Regan – The End of History – The inclusion of these two gives me a little hope not everything is turning into the NME Awards of Empty Indie Hysteria.
Basquiat Strings with Seb Rochford – Basquiat Strings – If you look, there’s always a nominee at the Mercurys designed to show just how cultured, obscure and judicious the panel are.  They also act like some token ‘intellectual’ inclusion to demonstrate the open-minded and inclusive nature of the awards that, much like the token ‘urban’ nominee, nevertheless completely fails to give the impression that anyone on the panel actually ever listens to either record.
Amy Winehouse – Back to Black – If there was an award for Punchably Unbearable Self-Obsessed Twattery it would probably have to be named after this raggedy old trout.  If you ever wanted to imagine what a sexually transmitted disease looked like in human form, you couldn’t go too far wrong if you directed someone to a picture of The Winehouse.  Provided you warned them that the emotional damage caused by gazing on her skeletal figure, gurning puss and avian-beaked visage was likely to require years of therapy to expunge, of course.  A one-woman erection assassin.
New Young Pony Club – Fantastic Playroom – Another decent choice.  Not my flavour exactly, but at least a little interesting.

So, I don’t know, what do you think?  Dross like Bat For Lashes, The View and Jamie T and the rather dubious selection of the Arctic Monkeys make it look a bit like a list put together on autopilot, without any real thought applied.  On the other hand, there are at least a couple of interesting choices.  NME be shamed, you have been out-rock ‘n’ rolled by the Mercury Prize!

Maps – You Don’t Know Her Name[audio http://www.fileden.com/files/2007/3/28/933060/Maps-YouDontKnowHerName.mp3]
New Young Pony Club – Fan[audio http://www.fileden.com/files/2007/3/28/933060/NewYoungPonyClub-Fan.mp3]
Fionn Regan – Put a Penny in the Slot[audio http://www.fileden.com/files/2007/3/28/933060/FionnRegan-PutaPennyintheSlot.mp3]
Arctic Monkeys – Put Your Dukes Up John[audio http://www.fileden.com/files/2007/3/28/933060/TheArcticMonkeys-PutYourDukesUpJohn.mp3]

A couple of mp3 files pinched from The Pelican’s Perch and Music For Kids Who Can’t Read Good.  Sorry lads, hope you don’t mind!