Song, by Toad

Mrs. Toad is home, everyone! She’s been off in God Bless America all week and as much as she’s a moaning, high-maintenance, half-arsed, troublesome, bad-tempered pain in the backside, I really hate it when she’s away.

It seems like a good idea in principle, I get some time with no hassle, I get to play Championship Manager, edit video, eat pickles out of the jar and all the good things in life. But the thing is, hanging around with my midget companion is the greatest fucking joy in my life. She’s stroppy, she’s rude, she’s annoying, and she’s mine.  I am never so happy as when we are pottering around together – everyday banality was never so magical.

You just know when everything is right, and ever since we met I have been completely certain that this was as good as it was ever going to get, and I was right. For such a half-arsed, undomesticated lass she is oddly protective of me, and when she is gone – which she frequently is for work reasons – I’ll be honest with you, life is shit.

There’s just something drab and boring about the world when my midget companion isn’t here. She doesn’t do much, but she makes me happy, and every time she goes away I am just waiting for her to return. I am not me without her. So I sit around, I work, I faff, I wait. And then she’s home and suddenly everything’s fine again. She’s my girl, and I miss her like hell, and when she comes back it is a massive relief. Things are right again. My girl is home. That is all.

Billy Bragg – Wishing the Days Away (Alternate Version)
Elbow – Fugitive Motel