Fear not, this isn’t quite as horribly overbearing as it could have been. The ranting is actually fairly under control, and the self-important pontificating not quite as reckless as it could so easily have been, partly because I wasn’t quite as liberal with the gin as I have been in the past.

The reason it’s called the Popecast is because of this amazing little story about Catholics in the States issuing death threats to a kid who took a communion wafer out of the church with him.  The hilarious PZ Myers then got involved, threatening to show them what real desecration would look like, and the pandemonium reached all new levels of shrillness.

The thing that really got my goat about all this was not so much that Catholics took offence, but more the level of the hysteria and the language of persecution.  It was honestly described as kidnapping and as a hate crime by various loonies, and there was nothing like enough ‘Oh fucking grow up and get the fuck over it’ being said.  People seem to be seeking all sorts of odd legal protections for their crazy superstitions these days, and I am flabberghasted that a particular kind of idea is being so fucking mollycoddled as to be deemed immune from criticism and contempt.  Come on, people, fuck your religious convictions and learn to deal with the fact that most of the planet thinks they’re crazy – and that applies to atheists as well.

Anyhow, I promise this doesn’t take over too much of the podcast, and that the music is given plenty of space to breathe.

Toadcast #33 – The Popecast

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01. Half Man Half Biscuit – Vatican Broadside (00.07)
02. Beck – Profanity Prayers (02.27)
03. Punch & the Apostles – Nouveau Gypsy (10.20)
04. I Said Yes – The Town Crier (15.07)
05. Albert Hammond Jr. – GFC (20.47)
06. Bonnie Prince Billy – So Everyone (23.51)
07. Tom Lehrer – Vatican Rag (33.53)
08. The Savings & Loan – Catholic Boys in the Rain (37.12)
09. Derek Meins – The Gin Song (42.57)
10. Holly Golightly & the Broke-Offs – Devil Do (48.47)
11. Ghostkeeper – Solid Gold (56.02)
12. Forest Fire – Fortune Teller (60.44)
13. Silver Jews – Strange Victory, Strange Defeat (70.22)
14. Sparrow & the Workshop – Magic Tricks (77.55)
15. The Just Joans – Hey Boy, You’re Oh So Sensitive (79.43)
16. Roy Zimmerman – Ted Haggard is Completely Heterosexual (85.41)
17. Willard Grant Conspiracy – Evening Mass (97.16)

And just for the fun, here are the two silly songs for you to download:
Tom Lehrer – Vatican Rag[audio http://www.matthewjamesyoung.com/sbt/TheVaticanRag.mp3]
Roy Zimmerman – Ted Haggard is Completely Heterosexual[audio http://www.matthewjamesyoung.com/sbt/RoyZimmerman-TedHaggardIsCompletelyHeterosexual.mp3]

Right, I’ve slagged off the whole boiling lot in my previous post, so you’d be forgiven for thinking that I hate Christmas with a passion, and in many ways I do. But Christmas is, believe it or not, my favourite time of year in many ways.

Are you surprised that a bad-tempered old cynic such as myself should make such a statement? Well probably not, because there’s a pretty obvious vein of romanticism close to the surface which my regular readers will have had no trouble noticing.

When my family do Christmas we do indeed buy presents, but not particularly expensive ones. There’s usually a couple of books to be found around the tree, some music (mostly from me), some worthless but nevertheless rather lovely rubbish from a junk or antiques shop and a small handful of daft but thoughtful things that for some reason or another made us think of the person in question during the year. We don’t spend much, but we do tend to bring nice things for each other.

What really makes Christmas for me is the peace and quiet and the cosiness. We cook, a lot. The meals are long and prepared with care. Two or three people spend most of the day cooking, and then we sit down in the evening with candles and the fire lit and spend about four or five hours eating and chattering (see pic, top). During the day we shop for the next meal, and walk in the countryside (we tend to spend Christmas out in France but if we’re in Edinburgh, as we will be next year, we’ll probably go for a walk down by Cramond or in the Botanics, if they’re open).

There’s lots of music, from my Mum’s classical to my brother’s jazzier stuff, to my Dylan and Waits, but all of it is cosy , downbeat and emotionally solid, without being miserable. Mum gets quite keen on having lots of traditional, hand-crafted decorations, Mrs. Toad spends a little too extravagantly on wine, I joust with Mum for control of the stereo, Dad reads his books and my brother makes sure he re-visits all his childhood rituals with all of us – walks with Dad, long late night chats with me, flavoured with new music and gin, and cooking with Mum.

So as much as I loathe what Christmas is, I absolutely love what we do with it. We eat, we relax and we spend time together. The cold and dark and the fire make it all very slow-paced and quite magical, and generally one of my favourite times of the year. How can you build a proper family if you don’t do this – take time to be together, to talk and to do things as a group? We’re not even remotely religious, but it’s times like this we reaffirm all those ties and relationships and traditions that make our family so close, and despite the horrors of the tinsel and the shopping frenzy around us, I wouldn’t swap our family Christmases for anything.

If this doesn’t bring a tear to your eye then you have no soul worth saving:  Tom Waits – Take it With Me
Sheryl Crow – Home (Yes, Sheryl Crow)
Evan Dando – All My Life
The greatest and truest christmas song of all time, and yes I did post it last year, deal with it: Tom Lehrer – A Christmas Carol